I do not own Bleach.

This is not exactly a 2nd chapter. When I wrote the first one, I was wondering what were Rukia feelings, what does she think, and I couldn't avoid to write this one. So, for everybody who is as curious as me...enjoy

Side B

"What the HELL are you waiting for Ichigo? FINISH IT OFF!"

Rukia felt his gaze upon her. "What do YOU think I'm doing!?" he groaned.

She clenched her jaw and looked at the small Hollow in front of her. She could feel the reiatsu of Inoue, Ishida and Chad fighting with another one but she couldn't see them, they seemed to be alright though.

"I've got any clue!" Rukia retorted. "Are you dancing with each other? FOCUS!!"

Her back was against Ichigo who was dealing with a big Hollow, knowing him he probably would be more worried for the other three than for his fight. Rukia sighed moron.

"RUKIA!" she turned when she heard Ichigo's shout, in time to see the big Hollow on her back launching towards her. She jumped but her sword was cast aside. Dammit, she roared while she was landing on the floor. That was not over though, the small hollow darted onto her and she rolled and stood up, gasping and clutching her hand. Her eyes flinched towards her zanpakuto, they were in trouble, maybe she could … a sudden movement in the sky distracted her attention.

"Ichigo! Look up!" she yelled. The big Hollow was attacking him. She looked at her sword and at the small Hollow in front of her and cursed again, I had to help him. Suddenly she felt a great rise of reiatsu and fell on the floor. What was it? It came from Ichigo but it was different, it was powerful and great and…dark. She shivered looking up with caution and gasped. Ichigo had defeated the big one with one hand and was running towards the little one next to her, nothing new except that he didn't seem Ichigo… at all. She kneeled on the floor looking at him, at the Hollow that was him. Kaien-dono. She started trembling, images were racing into her mind. She didn't see that he smashed the little one in a second, she was only staring at him, at his mask, at his now black eyes full of hatred.

Was he talking to her? She couldn't tell, she stood up, her hands on her throat trying to breath. Kaien-dono. He took a step forwards…and she stepped back. She didn't recognize him and she didn't know if she wanted to. They were both still, looking at each other with caution.

Her friends were running towards them, she wanted to yell at them, to tell them to run, to go away but she couldn't, she could only look at the Hollow that was once … she didn't want to think about it, her whole body was trembling now.

"Ahh… Yes… yes, we are" She heard him answering while he turned to see them.

"Kurosaki-kun. Could you take that mask off? It's scaring me" Orihime asked nervously.

He led a hand to the mask and pulled back suddenly, Rukia flinched but there was Ichigo again, the permanent frown on his eyebrows, his voice always annoyed, the light in his amber eyes…

She felt Ishida's eyes onto her "How about you, Kuchiki-san, are you ok?"

For God's sake, I'm a Kuchiki, I can do better than this. "Of course I am" she answered with her deep voice, thanks God it was not trembling.

She picked her sword slowly avoiding to look at them, at him. Pull yourself together, she ordered to herself, but she couldn't, not now.

"I go home. See you at school"

She left without a last look, trying to stop the images in her mind.

She knew immediately that she was dreaming. The same place, the same heavy weight over her lungs. She was running, somebody was following her through the dark of the forest. She passed the old trees where they used to train, hearing a rush over her back, a cold laugh behind her. She was terrified, for herself, for him. She could only keep running, painting, waiting the moment she had to face him, not this time!. Her zanpakuto was sliding of her sweaty hand, she tripped and fall onto the grass closing her eyes. This time will be different, she lied to herself. Then she heard a gasp, she didn't dare to open her eyes, a cold sweat on her face, a tighten grip over her throat, she couldn't breath. But she didn't cry, not this time, she opened slowly her eyes sure what she was going to see. She was covered by blood, his blood, the zanpakuto in her hands. His face was contorted by the pain, but his eyes were friendly, warm, he murmured at her, smiled… and then all changed, his eyes turned black, coal black meeting hers, a mask of hollow upon his face.

"AHHHHHH!" she gasped sitting on her bed, fully- dressed, tangled with the sheets. She looked around confused, a dim light was coming through the window, she was in Yuzu and Karin's bedroom, her bedroom. She curled up, her dry eyes wide open, her breath uneven, trying to warm herself up with her arms.

Last night she had waited, lost in thoughts on the roof of Ichigo's neighbours. She couldn't think properly, in fact she had wished not to think anymore. She remembered being cold, numb but she didn't want to get in. She had been peering into Ichigo's room wanting to see something different, something that told her that he had changed, something that forced her to act, but all was the same except she noticed that Ichigo was reading the same page of his book for the last half an hour. Kaien-dono. She had pressed her lips until they had turned white, her mind blank. At two o'clock he had turned the light off and had laid down on his bed, fully-dressed, the permanent frown on his face. She was not afraid of facing him, of course she wasn't, but… there was another feeling and she didn't want to feel, not tonight, not again.

She had closed her eyes tighten …

Now, she stood up silently and wrote a note for Yuzu, she needed air, how comes it's so difficult to breath here?. She was wandering trying to full her lungs but they hurt too much, without noticing she was running. Take a grip on yourself, an angry voice was yelling into her head. She stooped death when she arrived at school, painting, she rested her hands onto her knees. What are you doing Kuchiki Rukia? You should be ashamed of your behaviour.

The image of her brother came to her mind. Byakuya Kuchiki, captain of the 6th division, leader of the Kuchiki clan. He always did what it was supposed to be done, his cold eyes never cared about anyone. At this thought she stood up, the heavy weight on her stomach was still there but now she could think, her mind was clearer. She needed to think before all fell upon her again. She didn't go to class and seated onto the grass, her back leaning against a tree, drawing mindlessly a pattern onto the floor with a finger.

It was all about Ichigo, she knew. And it was not only surprise, she knew it too, it was something else. She couldn't put words for her feelings, it was something old but not quite the same. Of course she knew there was a Hollow inside him but she didn't know how powerful it was, how Ichigo would change, what old feelings it would awake… Kaien-dono. She closed her eyes forcing the tears down her throat. I am a Kuchiki, she reminded herself, I'm not human. I cannot let this stupid emotions get over me.She felt how the lace on her throat tightens as she took her choice. This doesn't affect me, I just need to put some distance. I can do it. And she knew which distance and with who.

She sighed resting her chin upon her knees. It was three o'clock in the morning, and she was again on the roof of Ichigo's neighbours. Dammit. She had not been able to do it. After her resolution, she had gone to class, but she hadn't been able of looking carelessly at him, in fact she hadn't been able of looking at him, dot. At last she had murmured him an excuse and had run away, again. I'm so coward, she yelled to herself, again hidden, waiting for him to sleep. Ok, it affects me but I can make that it doesn't. She had seen her brother doing this hundreds of times. His eyes vaguely interested, the cold smile onto his mouth, his carelessly voice, his chin raised. But you are not your brother, a little voice whispered into her ear. He closed her eyes and put both her hands onto her ears suppressing a shout, Am I going crazy? STAY STILL!, she roared.

After a few minutes she calmed down and tried to swallow but the tight knot on her throat was still there. She opened her eyes and her hands dropped to the sides of her body. She entered into the house quietly…

"RUKIA!!"

"UAHHH" she suppressed a shout with both her hands. He was in front of her, his amber eyes in fury.

"Moron! You scared me, you… moron!" she groaned leaning towards him on tiptoe.

"Where were you? It's three o'clock in the morning! Baka!" she hadn't looked at him properly the whole day, he seemed…worried?

STAY STILL! "A couple of Hollows, nothing important" she said in a carelessly voice leading to the stairs, her back to him. She congratulated herself.

"Hollows? Why didn't you call me? I…"

"Not necessary. I'm a Shinigami, Ichigo. I can deal with it" her deep voice was calm, her chin raised. I can do it. She stepped once to the stairs and then slowly turned to him, her gaze at the floor, she cursed herself "I don't need…I don't want you to protect me Ichigo"

The words bursted out without thinking. The silence took her by surprise and feeling more secure she added. "Thank you for protecting me in the past but now I don't need you" she stared at him, her eyes vaguely interested, holding his, but her heart was racing when she went upstairs to her bedroom. "Good Night" she added with a cold smile.

She had done it! But she felt horrible. She had noticed his face. First, it was the worry, second, the surprise and at last an expression that she couldn't read. It was like she had slapped him, not that she wasn't use to hit him, but this time it was different. His amber eyes had told her when they met hers, something underneath them, something…cloudy.

She stopped upstairs to listen. She couldn't hear anything, like he was frozen, not usual for the noisy Ichigo. She didn't try to sleep, she knew she couldn't, his face was in her mind all night.

"Rukia-chan, are you ok?" Yuzu asked sweetly. "You look tired. Problems at school?"

She tried to lie, but stared into Yuzu's worried face "ehh, yes a bit… I'm a little tired lately"

"Of course, you almost don't sleep, have you seen your face?" Karin added opening the fridge and grabbing a bottle, she threw it carelessly into a basket. "Ugly nightmares, uhh?"

She flushed. When at last she had fallen sleep the nightmare had started again, a little different though. She had felt the angst and the pain again but she hadn't stabbed him. Every time she was about to do it Ichigo's face had come to her mind and the nightmare had started from the beginning, over and over again.

She didn't notice the rushed around her, nor did she notice Ichigo's father until he asked in his usual cherful voice "Third daughter, do you want to come with us?"

She winced noticing for a second Ichigo's eyes onto her face "No, sorry. I have to do lots of homework. Next time" she said with the fake high pitched voice she used at school. She was getting great pretending, she thought sadly.

"You scared her old man" Karin murmured

"Ohhh! Masaki why our children are so cruel with his poor old father??" he cried on the shoulder of Yuzu who patted his back patiently. "Ok. You can stay here with Ichigo. That boring soon of mine, I'm soooooo ashamed of him!!" he tried to punch Ichigo but he was faster and hit him with a saucer.

"Could YOU stop doing that? You will hurt yourself" he said scowling.

Rukia flinched, she had expected Ichigo to go with them. It was just her imagination or he was looking at her with caution? she hold his gaze and tighten her jaw, he frowned.

She saw Isshin hitting him and both of them arguing before they left, letting Ichigo and her alone. She stared at him, an odd silence between them. It has never been this way with him.

She flinched at the thought, and at last she understood, she couldn't do that. There was only one thing she could do, to run away, she hated herself.

"I go upstairs" "lots of things to do" she murmured quickly going to her bedroom.

She didn't wait for an answer, his face was odd, his eyebrows frowned, her eyes full of a determination she had seen before but she didn't want to remember. It hurts. She winced, that was the first feeling that had reached her heart after a long time trying not to feel. And for the first time she didn't hate herself, she hated him.

Her hands were shaking when she opened Yuzu's closet and started stuffing things in a bag mindlessly. She closed her eyes and gritted her teeth while trying to suppress a shout, while trying to swallow the tight knot of her throat.

"Are you going to let a note this time or it's not necessary?" she winced as she heard him on her back and slowly turned to face him, looking into his eyes now glowing with fire.

"I think… it's time to return, for me. As Aizen has not done anything recently…" she felt the cold smile onto her mouth, her chin raised and heard her voice far away, carelessly, she was doing it , but she noticed her fists were closing tightly.

"You mean apart of kidnapping Inoue and almost killing us a couple of weeks ago?" his voice was quiet, but she knew him better, he was restraining himself very hard.

"I'm of no use here. I will be more useful in Soul Society" she turned pretending to search into the closet. She had heard the bitterness of his voice and she knew she had to hurry. She hated his world, she hated him…. and she hated herself for doing this to him.

"Who are you protecting now? Me…or yourself?" his voice was now racing, fury in his words. She continued searching, she didn't want to listen. She felt her hands trembling, her eyes flickering, she couldn't breath, how the hell I can never breath in this DAMN ROOM!

With a roar of anger he grabbed her shoulders forcing her to look at him. He shook her shoulders softly. "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON, RUKIA!! IF YOU DON'T TELL ME I CANNOT…"

"DON'T YOU DARE TO TOUCH ME!!" she shouted pushing him hard. He fell on the floor looking up into her eyes in surprise. She was rigid, trembling, her fists firmly closed, her face ghostly white, pure rage into her eyes.

"Ruk—"

"I wanted to do it the most softly possible" her voice was pure ice as she looked directly into his amber eyes. I MUST DO IT, I MUST…LIE "You're dangerous, maybe you don't know it yet but it will be best for all that you don't…you don't go on". Her brother would be proud, cold voice, carelessly eyes … Then she looked down, he was staring at her, blankly, his eyes wide open… he looked as if she had stabbed him. Kaien-dono. She bit her tongue with force. She had done it, now everything will be easier, she was not going to feel pain anymore. She could swear it because she didn't feel anything at all, she felt numb. She won and… and he lost. She was choking now, the weight over her lungs was knocking her down.

He leant his back against the wall, scratching his head then he let his hand fell on the floor and closed his right fist once.

"It's ok" he murmured and paused "if you have decided…that I should stay behind…I think… it's ok" he looked up into her face.

She remembered not these words, but its meaning.He looked into Ichigo's face, she had never seen this face onto him. Beaten? Ichigo could not be beaten. Her instinct told her to yell at him, to force him to fight, but what for?

He was now avoiding her gaze, looking down, at his closed fist, defeated. The pressure onto his throat and her lungs was unbearable. She felt tears coming to her eyes, her jaw clenched, both her hands onto her heart now breaking.

Kaien-dono…Ichigo…Kaien-dono…Ka…Ichigo…Ichigo!

And she could pretend no longer, before he could stand up, she fall on the top of him moaning.

"Please Ichigo, please… don't die, please" was she who was speaking? her voice was pleading. "Please Ichigo… please…." All her fears had come out finally. She felt him rigid under her body. Her hands were grabbing desperately his t-shirt. "Please Ichigo… please…. don't…don't make me kill you!" she cried loudly hiding her face against his chest.

She felt his body relaxing, his arms wrapping her waist and she listened him whispering into her ear "I promise Rukia, nobody will hurt you"

She felt the tighten lace disappear and the weight fading away as she felt the warm of his body and the strength of his arms around her. At last she loosened up until her eyes dry, until the light outside started to fade, until she fell sleep without nightmares into his arms.

I'm exhausted! Rukia thinks too much! Which one do you prefer?