'I'm going to bed' I say abruptly, standing up. Dan's comment hit a nerve. He's right. I don't want to stop. I want to be thin. Thinner. The thinnest.

'No Tess' he says, standing up too and walking in front of me, preventing me from going anywhere. 'You can't run away from your problems'.

'Fuck off Dan, you don't own me' I snap at him. As soon as the words leave me mouth, I regret them instantly.

'I know' he sighs raggedly. 'I just want you to get better, alright?'

'There's nothing wrong with me' I retort angrily.

'Oh can it Tess! I've seen you! I've seen you push your food around your plate; I've seen you bin it; I've seen you attempting to make yourself sick; I've seen you stand on those fucking scales, getting annoyed because you're not losing enough weight. You think that I don't know, don't you?' he shouts.

'FUCK OFF!' I scream at him. 'IT'S MY LIFE OKAY. I'M FINE'.

'No, you're not fine Tess. You're ill. Don't you see how thin you are?' He grabs my arm and wraps his hand all the way around my bicep.

'I'm not thin. I'm far from it' I reply, pulling away from him. 'Just, leave me alone. Okay?' I storm into my room that I share with Dan and slam the door behind me, locking it in place. I look into the mirror. A chubby face, a bloated, flabby stomach, tree trunk legs and fat arms stare back at me.

I'm disgusting.

I grab the fat on my stomach and claw into it, wishing I could cut it straight off. My nails leave angry, red groves in the fat.

My stomach begins to rumble. I feel sick.

Don't give in. You'll only regret it if you do.

Must not eat. Must not eat. Must. Not. Eat.

I turn away from the mirror and sit down on the bed, drawing my knees up to my chest.

She'll never get a boyfriend. She's far too fat.

Far too fat.

F a t.

She's got a bit of excess weight, hasn't she?

F a t.

I shakily stand up and unlock the door and head to the kitchen. I pick out an apple and slice it in half. I sink my teeth into it and begin to chew. 40 calories. I stand against the counter, chewing on the apple, trying not to think of the calories. I plan my day out for tomorrow: breakfast – one kiwi (45). Lunch – 1 egg (72) and then I'll for a 5 mile run.

'Tess?' I hear a voice.

I turn my head to see Dan standing beside me. 'Yes?'

'I'm sorry for what I said earlier' he says gently.

I soften. 'I'm sorry too. I was being a real bitch'.

Dan wraps his arms around my fat body. 'I'm just worried about you'.

'There's no need to be. I'm fine' I say, trying to convince him.

'Tessie' he says, calling me by my old nickname. I smile. 'Come with me'.

He holds my hand gently and pulls me into the bathroom. 'Look into the mirror. What do you see?'

'Fat' I say honestly. 'I see a fat, ugly girl in the mirror. And the girl in the mirror is me. I'm fat. I'm ugly'.

'Tessie' he says sadly. 'You're none of those things. You're a beautiful girl. You're not fat and you've never been fat'.

'If she lost that weight, she'd actually be quite attractive'.

'But I am' I whisper.

Dan then gently holds my bicep, curling his fingers around it. They easily touch. He then places his hands on my ribs, running his fingers over the bones. I shiver underneath his soft touch.

'Can't you see Tess? Can't you see?'

'Can't see what?' I whisper, afraid of his response.

'Can't you see that you're slowly killing yourself?'