Sitting outside of Jacob's house, hearing his excruciating screams as that bloodsucker was re-breaking the bones in his fragile body, is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.
I could have taken that leech. I didn't need his help. But no, his pompous, arrogant ass had to get in the way! I cringed as another blood curdling scream echoed through the house. How much more of this could he take? It should be me, not him.
I wheeled Billy back into the house as that fucking leech finally left, and Bella was not too far behind him. God, he'd left his filthy stench everywhere! I growled deep in my throat as I slammed the door behind us to let the rest of the pack know that they weren't welcome. I needed time to talk to Billy—gather my thoughts. I parked him in his wheelchair in the living room and sat across from him on the couch, sighing as I looked up at him. Hopefully the regret wasn't as evident on my face as it was in my heart.
"He's in a lot of pain, Leah," Billy stated matter-of-factly.
"But you think he's going to be okay, though, right?" I sighed as I replayed the day's events in my mind. "He's so stubborn! I could have easily taken that thing, you know." I fidgeted with my hands, waiting for Billy to continue.
He sighed before answering, almost inaudibly. "Yeah, Leah. I know." He paused before continuing, "That newborn got him good," He winced slightly as he choked out that last bit, tears threatening to spill from his eyes. I reached a shaky hand out to him, gently patting his shoulder in comfort. He glanced up at me with a small, appreciative smile pulling at his lips. I returned the smile before setting my hand back in my lap, wrestling with my fingers again.
I sat there for a moment, lost in thought; the two sides of myself battling with each other.
Go see Jake, check on him. Don't go in there; he doesn't want your sympathy. Apologize. Tell him how sorry you are. No...Leah doesn't do sorry.
I stood, determination etched on my face. I was going to tell Jake how much of an asshole he was and how wrong he was to mess with my kill. I was going to ream him out like I never had before.
As I took a deliberate step towards Jacob's bedroom, Billy grabbed my arm. I turned to face him, and my heart instantly fractured. The look in his eyes made me want to crumble to the floor and cry. I took a deep breath as he silently pleaded with me to take it easy on his son. I nodded curtly and slowly made my way to Jacob's room.
I opened the door slowly, silently, so I wouldn't wake him if he was sleeping. I tip-toed to his bedside as quietly as possible. I said nothing as I glared down at him, wanting to scream at him for being such an idiot. That is, until I saw his tear stained cheeks. I couldn't hurt a man who had been brought to tears by that undeserving leech loving cunt, Bella Swan.
Knelling by his bed, I could tell he was only pretending to be asleep. That was okay, I could play his little game, too. I sat there, silently sorting through my thoughts for a moment. I wished he would just say something to make it easier for me to figure out what I should say.
"Jacob, I'm sorry," I blurted out. Whoa. Did I just say that? When did I go soft? "Jacob, I never meant for this to happen." This should be me, not you. "I was stupid. I thought I had something to prove, and it caused you to suffer something that should have been my fate—maybe even worse." I paused in order to keep my emotions in check before I continued. "I wish you could understand the way I feel, Jake," I mumbled, holding back the tears that were threatening to spring from my eyes.
I sighed heavily before I moved forward. "I mean, that was...I just...I've really messed things up for you, haven't I?" I didn't expect him to answer. And I was right, he didn't. "Jacob...I'm...I'm sorry," I said as I tentatively took his hand in mine.
"I wish there was something I could do for you. Anything." I frowned as I ran my fingers gently across his knuckles. "I know you're going to be in a lot of pain when that drip runs out," I joked, trying to lighten the suddenly heavy mood.
I tightened my grip on his hand, my heart pounding in my chest. This was the first time I had touched a man since Sam. What am I doing? I glanced up at Jacob's face as his breathing hitched. Damn it, I knew he was awake.
"Jacob?" I whispered, hoping he would answer. I dropped my head again when he didn't. "I should go." I quickly let go of his hand and stood, glaring down at him. Those damn tears were still trying to escape again.
"If you ever say anything to anyone about what just happened," I growled through bared teeth, "I will cut off your nuts and wear them as earrings."
I wanted to slap the smile right off his face. He thought I was kidding. "Jacob Black, so help me, God . . ." I forced out, glaring down at him before stomping out of the room. That self righteous bastard! Who the hell does he think he is?
I stormed out of the house, completely ignoring Billy as I huffed past him. Outside, the boys were still gathered. Yes, boys; I wouldn't call any of them men. I pushed my way through, ignoring their stares and the shit that came out of Paul's mouth as I nearly knocked him over in my haste to leave. It was bad enough that Jacob almost heard me cry; if the rest of them knew, they would never let me live it down.