Attempts at a New Life

Lily Icerem

Chapter 2: The Anonymous Shrink and his Reluctant Patient

Published: 29/04/12

Edited: 26/05/12

Edit Note: Again, very sorry people... I just couldn't ignore all the mistake! I probably left out a lot! I'm not sure... please point them out to me! Just saying mistakes could mean anything and sadly, it really could! Hehe.

AN: Hi people! A BIG thanks to everybody who reviewed and yes, this is really my first piece of writing, unless you count the random semi-original murder mystery I started writing in year eight. Except the only reason I started writing that because I felt like it, not because I had any intentions of finishing it. The story only ten chapters and about ten thousand words, it's been edited about a hundred times. So, really I haven't really written much.

Also, I realised that the last chapter nightmare was a little strange… Um… don't worry, I'm not a sadistic author who likes to torture the characters, I had this Darren Shan moment that's all, I'm just slightly insane, nothing to worry about!

I must apologise first for this chapter and possibly the next few chapters, because they will mostly consist of flashbacks, very so to people who do not like reading flashbacks, but they are essential to the plot! To be very honest, I don't really like writing them either.

Word count is 4,136 or something like that, it's shorter than the other one, but there wasn't much I could write in this one.

Disclaimer: Think about it, if I owned Alex Rider, why on earth would I be writing on ? I wouldn't be sitting in front of a computer; I would be on holiday in Europe.

Enjoy!

"I already know who you are, Alex!" shouted a familiar voice.

"Ben?"

Flashback

The rain was tapping gently on the roof where he was being held. After escaping from the ropes which had tied him to an outrageously uncomfortable chair, he looked out the window. Never had he seen a sky so grey. Things looked bleak from where he stood. With a stolen gun in his right hand, Alex stood frozen while he watched as a familiar figure on the large television screen. He felt the bile rise in his throat as the person dragged his precious housekeeper into a car; its paint which was once an elegant silver, had then reached its final stage of shedding. Alex watched as the person locked Jack inside the filthy car and walked away.

The only thing he could do now was escape and pray that he would be in time to save her. He ran to the old metal door, checking whether it was a viable route to freedom, but it was of course, locked. Giving up on getting through the solid barrier, Alex tried the window. Seeing that it was in the same state as its metal friend, he turned to a more violent option. Taking aim with the gun which he had stolen, he shot the window, hoping that it would shatter, giving hope that he could save his beloved 'sister'. His efforts were not repaid, as the glass was bulletproof. The sound of the shot was impossibly echoing throughout the tiny room; mocking his desperate actions.

He was surprised as the door opened, revealing a face that he knew too well; Julius Grief. Something was different about him this time, something that made Alex shiver at the sight of the boy. Alex thought that this was his chance; he could escape. Noticing Alex's intent, Julius closed the door quickly behind him; locking them both inside the room.

"What do you want?" Alex asked, lifting the gun defensively in Julius's direction, his voice laced with deadly venom. "What have you done to Jack?"

Julius didn't answer, instead head gestured Alex to look at the screen. The car was still in the same place, he looked closer and Jack gagged and bound, frantically trying to escape her dirty prison. Alex couldn't help but wonder why Jack was so desperate to get out of the car; obvious reasons aside, she was safe enough in there, she didn't have a manic in the same room as her, why was she so… Alex's thoughts were cut off as he saw what Julius had in his hand. It was a small object, it fit easily in his palm, what distressed Alex the most was the small area that looked a lot like a button. A cruel smirk appeared on Julius's face as he held up the object so Alex could have a better look.

He felt his stomach dropped to the ground as realised the truth, why Jack was so scared and why Julius had such a sadistic grin on his mouth. "Why?" Alex asked desperately.

"Why not?" Julius smirked. Slowly he lowered his thumb on the button.

"Stop!" Alex shouted, aiming the gun towards his evil 'twin'.

"Tut, tut Rider. You don't have the guts shoot me," he sneered. "You couldn't kill someone. You're the good guy; you would never kill someone in cold blood." His mocking tone left Alex speechless. Julius's finger closed in on the detonator and Jack was torn apart.

A bloodcurdling scream ripped through his throat as the car blown apart by the force of the bomb. Letting the rage wash over him, Alex took aim and fired. His was startled as something slammed his chest, making him fall backwards. Reaching up to the source of the pain, Alex pulled his hand back and saw blood dripping down his fingers. Weak and in pain, made his way to the wall behind him. Leaning against it, his surveyed the room; there was no one else in there, just him and Julius.

Alex's mind was clouding, not only with pain, but also with curiosity. Julius had no gun, the window was bullet proof, there wasn't a hole in the door, the building was made of brick, he heard one shot and he fired once. How could it be that he was also shot? How did it land in the same place as his? It was almost as if it was mirrored directly.

The body of the other boy started to move from the position on the floor. The boy pushed himself off of the ground with grace, seemingly not affected by the bullet. His face had again, taken form of the sadistic smirk that was constantly on his face. Julius was bleeding, but certainly not in pain. Gently touching the blood that was dripping with his fingers he shook his head. "What do you think you're doing Alex?"

"Julius, how did you-"

"I'm not Julius."

"Then who are you?" Alex asked weakly, he was sure the bullet had hit some vitals, but he was miraculously staying alive.

"Think Rider, who do you think I am?"

There was an eerie silence as he looked his clone over; lean, but muscular body, golden tanned skin, unruly sandy blonde hair and dark brown, serious, hollow looking eyes. There was nothing wrong with him, Julius was the perfect clone. Perfect… a little too perfect. Julius looked the like him, but he was never the same. The angle of his nose was one of many, when did Julius become so much like him? Unless, what he said was true. Alex's eyes widened as the truth dawned on him; this boy was not Julius, but Alex himself.

"So, I guess you finally realised," he mocked.

"B-but it can't be true," Alex couldn't believe his eyes, how could there possibly be two of him? "But you're so different from me! You're just someone else!"

"I think you've got something wrong," reading his mind. "There isn't two of you Alex, I am you and you are me. The only difference between you and me is I seem to be on the bad side and you seem to be on the good side. But really, if I am you and you are me, then who's to say who's good or bad?"

"But if you're me and I'm you, then…" Alex trembled at the thought, if the person who killed Jack and him are actually the same person…

"Ah, you seem to have stumbled on the truth," he laughed. "I am you, so if I killed Jack, then it also means that you killed her. Did you hear that? You. Killed. Her."

"No, no that can't be true," Alex screamed. "You're a fake, I am different from you. You an evil, sadistic bastard, that takes pleasure in causing pain. You're evil and I'm not!"

The 'fake' Alex laughed, "You can what you want, but how can you say that I'm evil. You shot me or in this case yourself, in cold blood. Jack was dead, you pulled the trigger in rage, the only thing you wanted was revenge. Ask yourself that, because I know we have the answer."

"No! You're lying!"

"Don't make me do this," the 'fake' Alex had his arm around Alex's neck, causing the boy to gag. "We killed her, and you know it. If you really think I'm evil, then so are you. Face the facts Alex, I am you and you are me. How many times do I have to say that to get it into your thick skull?"

"You're just saying that you have a thick mind as well!" he gasped.

"Aha! You finally got it!"

"No!"

"It doesn't matter, you'll die anyway, I just thought you should know why."

"What?" Alex could barely talk, 'fake' Alex's arm was around his neck so tight it was a wonder why he was still alive.

"She wants us dead, Alex. She wants revenge!" he struggled against the grip, "Jack wants you to feel immense pain before you die. After all, we did get her into this mess. We could have said no, we could have left her in England, but I guess you were just too damn stupid."

"If what you were staying was true," he coughed, "then aren't you being a hypocrite?"

'Fake' Alex nodded, "Yes, I guess I am. Whatever, she want me to strangle you, to make it slow, to cause you pain. Really it would be the same if I was to kill myself, but I've never been the suicidal type."

'It would still be suicide, you bastard!' Alex thought to himself. He took as big breath of air as the arm around his neck was taken off, but was quickly replaced but ten deadly fingers. He choked as he tried to retaliate, but weakened by blood loss, he was unable to do much. He felt his blood boil, starting from his toes, spreading upwards towards his brain, Alex opened his mouth to release a silent scream. As the heat reached his chest, it was only made worse by 'fake' Alex's grip on his throat.

Alex thought his was going to explode, as the boiling blood reached his brain, as his death came closer, he could only think of regret. Regret that he brought Jack to Cairo, regret that he didn't say no to those sick manipulating bastards at MI6 and regret that he aimed at his biggest enemy, only to discover his enemy was no other, than himself. Giving up, he welcomed the dark abyss that was death. Just as the dark spots appeared before his eyes, Alex heard something ring.

Alex shot open as he woke up from his nightmare, sitting up he slowly listened for sounds within the Pleasure household. No sound, 'Good,' he thought. Once again, Alex had stooped himself from screaming out. His heart and mind were still racing from the dream, he checked the clock; five o'clock, it was time for his run. Changing into his running clothes and grabbing his phone, Alex slipped out the door quietly, not wanting to wake someone up.

Sitting on his favourite bench in the park, Alex took out his phone. To his surprise there was a text message received at five o'clock.

-Line Break-

Agent 5: I no who u r!

What on earth was another agent contacting him for? Were they trouble? Or are they trying to doing something? Deciding that he needed to find out he texted them back.

Alex: I don't no who u r, but this isn't funny. Who r u and what do u want?

Locking the phone and putting it back into his pocket, Alex ran back to the house. It wasn't until five at noon did he get a reply.

Agent 5: Very sorry about that I don't actually know u.

Alex: Well, what was that txt about then?

Agent 5: It's kind of embarrassing, but 1 of my bird-brained friends managed 2 convince me 2 text all the anonymous agents on my phone. Actually, ur very lucky, cuz ur Agent 1 and well as the list goes on, the ruder the txt gets.

Alex: Well, ur bird-brained friend seems to be very smart if he can get u 2 do something that stupid.

Agent 5: He can be very convincing when it suits him, also I was drunk.

Alex: And I guess it was all ur friends fault.

Agent 5: Yep, I got some very threatening replies from the later Agents.

Alex: What did u actually say to them?

Agent 5: I'd rather no say… all I no is I really need to keep my name secret. In our business making an enemy out of a colleague is not something u want to do.

Alex: Well, I wouldn't no, I'm not an agent.

Agent 5: Then ur retired? Did Smithers slip u the phone before you leave?

Alex: U could say that and yes he did.

A lot a text messages later

Alex: I started to wake up and I said sorry, but I don't think he'll ever be a shrink again

Agent 5: I didn't realise u could b this dangerous

Alex: Yeah, well it's not my fault. I needn't no either.

Agent 5: So u no longer have a therapist?

Alex: No

Agent 5: Do you need one?

Alex: Probably, but I don't think it's gonna work.

Agent 5: I have an idea!

Alex: Do I want to no?

Agent 5: I can b ur shrink!

Alex: Ah, is that a good idea? Do you even have training?

Agent 5: Yeah, I did. Anyway I'm qualified to be a nurse and a psychiatrist, but I got into something else.

Alex: Well, I don't think u have the clearance. Not that I really care about MI6, what they find out?

Agent 5: Screw the 'bank,' I don't really no if I really want to work for them anymore. They have great pay, I don't mind missions, but they're all bastards.

Alex: Y do u still work 4 them then?

Agent 5: I'm just looking out 4 some1.

Alex: And who is that?

Agent 5: No names remember? So what do u think?

Alex: Nah, maybe, but not now.

Agent 5: Whatever, whenever you're ready.

Alex: U sound like a shrink.

Agent 5: Sorry.

-Line Break-

Alex didn't know why he couldn't stop talking to this person. It just seemed so easy to talk and joke with someone who knows what ur talking about. This person also reminded him of someone, but really Agent 5 could be anyone. He laughed at the thought of having a shrink through the text messages.

"Alex, what are you smiling about?" Sabina asked. "You've been looking at your phone for an hour, Alex. Who are you texting?"

"I must be that pretty flight attendant," sneered Edward. "What was her name again?"

"Scarlet," replied Liz.

"It's not her," said Alex. "It's a… colleague. Or ex-colleague, I'm not too sure how to put it."

"Alex," Sabina said warningly. "So they're a spy."

"Relax, they're not asking me to do anything and if they do, I'm not doing it. We were just talking." Alex got up from the couch, "Anyway, didn't Liz say it was dinner time?"

Supper was great as usual, the tense atmosphere cleared up as the conversation picked up. Edward was talking about his work, mostly about some of his strange colleagues, that don't really do much. Alex's first assumption on Edward's work was correct; the man was doing extremely well. After being employed into a highly rated company, he quickly rose up in the ranks in the company and was now writing the biggest stories. Liz of course was a little worried for her husband, after the incident with Cray she thought that maybe this wasn't the best thing for Edward. Most of the time, the biggest stories are the most dangerous ones. Although his job worries her, being the good wife she was Liz kept quiet.

Feeling exhausted from lack of sleep, Alex went to bed early, praying, hoping that he'll get a good night's sleep.

-Line Break-

"You don't believe me do you?" Alex was looking at his 'twin.' He was once again in the little shack that was holding him. Looking around him nothing had changed; Jack was still in the car, bound and gagged.

"How am I supposed believe you? You're telling me that I'm going to kill Jack. How the hell I am I supposed to believe that?" Alex snapped.

The 'fake' Alex shrugged, "Well, we could kill her now." Before Alex say anything 'fake' Alex grabbed his hand and put the detonator in in. "You could blow her up, and then you'll know I telling the truth." Letting go of Alex's hand, 'fake' Alex stood back to see his reaction.

"Are you crazy?" he spat. "Do you really think I would do that?" Alex was desperately trying to let go of the detonator, but for some reason he couldn't let go, the thing that disturbed him the most was the urge he had to press the button. It was like he had lost his control over his body and was slowly losing it over his mind. "What did you do?"

"I didn't do anything, it too late to turn back. The decisions that we have made have finally taken its toll. Why do I think you'll do this? You have no choice. We have no choice," 'fake Alex jeered. "Yes, there might have been a time where we had a choice, but now things have been decided, unfortunately that means that Jack had to die."

"You can be serious," Alex was still struggling to get the detonator out of his hand, being careful not to touch the little button that would a devastating affect. 'How could such a small thing cause so much damage?' he asked himself. The urge was getting greater, the more he fought the feeling, the stronger it got. If he didn't fight it, then he would press the button.

"Would give up already?" hissed his evil twin. "Save yourself the pain. Get it over and done with." Alex ignored him, "Well I guess I should just help you." Moving forward, 'fake' Alex pressed down on Alex's thumb which was hovering above the button. The bomb in the car was set off, killing Jack. Shattered Alex fell to his knees, screaming in disbelief.

The shock from the dream caused Alex to wake from the nightmare, shooting up from the bed, he sent the covers flying. Groaning as he arrived back to reality, he flopped back into the bed. "I need help," he moaned to himself. Looking at his phone on the bedside table he Alex started to wonder. Staring at his phone, he made his decision.

-Line Break-

Alex: Fine u can be my shrink.

Agent 5: Hah, I knew u'd say that. Back tell me, what changed ur mind?

Alex: A seriously disturbing dream

Agent 5: A nightmare, do they happen often?

Alex: Yes, but before we start, should we label each other as something? Yes, we keep names out of this, but it shouldn't be just Agent 5 and Agent 1.

Agent: So what do u think?

Alex: Something appropriate

Agent 5: Okay, Anonymous Shrink

Alex: Very original.

Agent 5: Whatever, what about u?

Alex: I'll be the Reluctant Patient

Agent 5: The Anonymous Shrink and his Reluctant Patient. What a pair?

-Line Break-

End of Flashback

"Hi," smiled Ben. "You didn't realise I was sneaking up on you? I think your skills are going down the drain."

"Maybe," said Alex standing up. "Did you know it was me all this time?"

"No I didn't," Alex glared at him. "No really, I swear. I only found out a couple of days ago when Smithers was fixing my phone. He told me and I was pretty shocked, my patient is Alex Rider, Cub? Sorry I didn't tell you sooner, thought I'd give you a surprise."

"What are you doing here Ben?"

"Oh come on Alex, I just got here and you're not even polite about it."

"Just answer the question Fox."

Ben shook his head, "I told you, it's a surprise." Alex continued to glare at him, while his face was blank. Smirking he said, "Okay, later. But for now come sit." He sat down on the park bench and motioned for Alex to do the same. "So have things been?"

"Oh come on Ben, you know how it's been. Eating, sleeping, acting." Alex said the last word grimly. "God, it's so annoying. I like it here, but I hate acting."

"I know what you mean," he signed, running a hand through his hair. "But I guess it comes with the job, being a spy."

"I don't want to be a spy and anyway, I wouldn't know. It can't possibly be a job if I never got paid."

"You don't get paid?" asked Ben in debrief, Alex shook his head. "Blood hell, you said you were blackmailed, but you never said you didn't get paid. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't tell you anything that would have revealed my identity. If I told you I never got paid, then you'd ask why and well, that would lead to my age. We all know how that would end, you'd guess who I am, end of game."

"Yes, I guess it would have."

"So what are you doing here, you still haven't answered me yet," Alex asked. "They don't want something again do they?" It was obvious to both of them who 'they' were.

Ben shook his head, "No, Alex they don't want you to go on a mission. Mrs Jones is determined not to use you again and neither is her new deputy. With that said…"

Alex's eyes narrowed, "What Ben, what is going on?" Alex mind started to swim, what if MI6 really wanted him to work for them again?

"I don't really know," Ben looked a bit confused himself. "Mrs Jones said she wouldn't use you again and that's what I thought that was going to happen; I really believed that they'd leave you alone."

"But?"

"But I think she's changing, Alex. For a couple of weeks Mrs Jones seemed like herself, blank, emotionless, but not like Blunt. She wasn't ruthless like him, but we all think the stress is getting to her. She's send people to their deaths every day. Sure, she used to do it anyway, but she wasn't in charge. After all, Blunt made the final decisions, she just had a say."

Alex nodded, "I think that position would change anyone. Do you really think that they'd use me again?"

"I don't know, Alex," Ben sighed. "But that's not why I'm here."

"Okay, then why are you here? Does your arrival have anything to do with those ammeter agents disappearing?"

Ben looked at him, raising an eyebrow. "You noticed?"

"Come on!" chuckled Alex, "They were horrible. I think they were very lucky they were following me and not some maniac with a gun. I didn't know what the hell they were doing, but my bets were on the MI6."

"So, you noticed those agents, but not me? How does that work?"

"I don't know, also you changed the topic!" Ben shrugged at him, "So why are you here?"

"Well, my superiors thought it would be a good idea on checking up on you and thought that it would be better if they sent a more experienced agent." Ben pointed a thumb towards himself, puffing his chest, in a joking manner.

"You, experienced? You've got to be joking right? I bet they're just pulling your leg." Ben glared at him, "Okay, okay, I admit, you're better than those other imbeciles. But there's another reason, isn't there?"

"Well, they thought they'd give me a more… slow paced mission," Ben said slowly. "The other mission I had after our last encounter was a little vigorous the injury."

The image of Ben lying on in a pool of his own blood suddenly flashed up in Alex's mind. Shivering, Alex said, "I'm sorry about that. You know the…" he pointed at his shoulder. "I tried to stay, but they dragged me back to England for safety."

"No need for an apology," shrugged Ben. "I'd rather you were safe, then hanging around waiting to be attacked."

"Ben?"

"Hmmm?"

"When you said that the only reason that you were still in MI6, was because you had to watch over someone," Alex gulped, "was that person me?"

Ben smiled and ruffled Alex's hair, "Yes."

"Why?"

"I don't know. I think that after the mission, I started to think of you as my little brother," Ben smiled weakly.

"I've always wanted a brother. My uncle was always away, I had Jack, but it's not the same."

"Same," sighed Ben. "Siblings were something that my friends complained about, but I thought it would be nice to have a little brother or sister… Now we're just being sappy!"

"Oh crap! I really hate that! But do you know why they'd want me to check on me?"

"Well, I think they know that we've been in contact."

"What? I thought-" Alex felt his head hurt and his heart race.

"No need to fret Alex," said Ben calmly. "They don't know what we've been talking about. Smithers did a good job at sealing the phone connections, if we don't let them in, they can't see anything, even Smithers."

"Okay, what are you supposed to be checking on?"

"Ah, I should be checking on how you're going with your new family, your psychological health and you'll soon be going to school, so, I guess that as well. Then I need to report. But really I think there's something else."

"Why do you say that?"

"This is you we're talking about, there's always something else."

-Line Break-

AN: So, how did you guys like that? Please, please, please review! I thought that people might think, "You didn't review to our stories, why should we review yours?" so I decided to join the Review Revolution! For people who want to know or want to join it too, please go to my profile page. Basically it just means that I now have to review every single story that I read!

So please review and I've got a couple of questions, some are story related and some are not:

Who do you think should become the deputy? Mr Crawley or some other random?

Do people want fast and short updates or long and slow updates

Should I change the summary on the site, if so, what should I put on it?

Also for people who review; you want me to reply directly or on the updates?

Okay people please review, because hits mean nothing, it could mean you like it, hate it or some giant spider jumped out of the TV as you were watching Harry Potter, causing you to press the mouse, opening my story!

Review people, the more reviews, the happier I get, the happier I get, the faster I type! Simple as that!

Also if people review and I don't update fast enough then I'll get guilty, I act almost instantly to guilt, I hate it! The review don't need to be long, just a, "Please update!" would be great!

I am very sorry about any mistakes. Again, I cannot edit myself; I know what I wrote too well. Please feel free to criticize, I need it.

Also school is starting again; I think we all know what that means…

So please review, believe or not, I am still a newbie. We need support!

This is me, still being me (and mind blank! It's 1 am, again another late update)

~Lily Icerem~