Chapter 2
As the ache melted from his bones, the Doctor closed his eyes, lulled off to sleep by the water that covered his body. He was sliding into a warm place filled with no dreams of monsters and old enemies and it felt so good to be free of pain, like he was slipping into a place where no suffering existed...
Then a knock on the bathroom door brought him back to reality as he gasped and spluttered and coughed out soapy water, then grabbed the side of the bath to pull himself up before he went under again.
He sat up and took in a shaken breath as he realised Janey had been right – he shouldn't have locked the door, if she hadn't just knocked, he probably would have drowned...
"Doctor?" she called, "Are you all right in there?"
He splashed his face with water and then reached down and pulled the plug out, feeling relieved the potentially lethal bath tub was now draining.
"I'm okay!" he called back, feeling stiff as he rose from the draining water and reached for a towel.
He dried himself quickly and then started to ache and shiver, it was not as bad as before but the shaking was still there and coming out of the water had made his skin feel paper-thin even though the heating was on and the house was warm.
He quickly grabbed a bath robe that was hanging on the back of the door and put it on. Then he ran his fingers through damp hair, pushing it out of his eyes.
He turned towards the steamed up mirror and hesitated again.
"It wasn't easy this time," he murmured, "I wonder what this regeneration's done to my face..."
He still felt a sense of dread as he thought about wiping the mist from the mirror.
But Janey knocked again and he turned away from the mirror and unlocked the door.
"Sorry I took so long," he said apologetically.
Then he thought about how he had almost drowned and the chill that swept over him made him shiver.
He laughed nervously.
"I almost fell asleep in there!"
And as he looked into her eyes, his smile faded.
"Actually I did fall asleep. Thanks for waking me, I was just about to go under!"
Her eyes widened as she looked back at him.
"I knew you shouldn't have locked the door!"
He stepped out of the bathroom and Janey spoke up again.
"My ex left some of his stuff here when we broke up. I think he's forgotten about it, but I don't exactly like to contact him and to be honest with you, it's just been gathering dust. But it's a lot cleaner than the clothes you had on last night. I left it all on the bed for you, he's about your size, too."
"Thanks," the Doctor replied, and then he paused, looking intently at Janey.
"I need to ask you something."
"What do you want to know?"
He hesitated. He recalled how he had to wanted to wipe the mist from the mirror, and decided perhaps it would be best to hear her opinion before gathering courage to see his reflection for the first time.
"This is going to sound like a very strange question," he began nervously, "but...what do look I like?"
She stood there and laughed softly; he had said that like he was expecting bad news. As she looked at him she found that hard to believe...
"A lot better than you did last night."
"No, Janey – I mean what do I look like?"
She smiled again as she looked at him, noticing the blueness of his eyes and the way the light caught on his silky dark hair.
"You look all right."
"But what's my face like? Am I ugly? Or am I tall dark and handsome?"
She hesitated and then saw worry was clouding his eyes.
"You can be totally honest with me," he said anxiously, "I don't want you to lie!"
"You're fairly tall – dark hair... and yeah, I'd say you're a good looking fella."
He looked into her eyes.
"Are you just saying that to be kind? Because this regeneration was rough, it was painful and I know these things can get messed up sometimes. Are you telling me the truth?"
"You look just fine to me," she promised him, "I wouldn't lie to you."
And the Doctor turned and walked towards the bedroom, feeling almost ready to walk in through the door and turn around and look in the dressing table mirror. But then he stopped at the doorway and glanced back at Janey.
"You wouldn't lie to me out of sympathy, would you? If it's that bad the least you could do is warn me before I look in the mirror."
She went over to join him, standing beside open bedroom door.
"There is nothing wrong with the way you look. Stop worrying! Go and look in the mirror!"
He took a deep breath and took a step forward, then abruptly turned around and shook his head.
"I can't do it!
He ran his fingers through his dark hair and met her gaze once more.
"You don't know what its like for me when I regenerate – even I don't know what I'll turn out like! I could be old, young, fat, thin, handsome, ugly, I could be anything, I have no control over my appearance when I make a transition, and it's even more random and risky under sudden circumstances. After the way I died in my last life I'm lucky I came out of this looking human!"
He stopped talking and stared at Janey, who was smiling as amusement danced in her eyes.
"It's not funny!" he exclaimed, "I'm really worried about myself!"
Janey had come to the conclusion that she liked this man, even though she didn't know how police boxes could fly and she couldn't help but wonder if the Doctor was slightly crazy– but even if he was, he wasn't crazy in a dangerous way. He came across as eccentric, the rest she had yet to work out, but she knew he would become even more neurotic if she didn't lay his fears to rest.
"You're in good shape," she told him,"for your age..."
His eyes grew wider.
"Do I look very old? How old? Eighty, ninety?"
She laughed softly as she shook her head.
"You don't look old, I mean, you're not a young man, you're not my age, you're older than me..."
"How much older?"
"I don't know," she said honestly, "Late thirties, maybe forties... if you're any older you don't look it... does that help?"
He gave a sigh.
"Not really. "
And he paused and thought about it, then snapped his fingers as an idea came to him.
"Let's do this another way – would you go on a date with me, or does the possible thought of kissing me make you want to vomit? Be honest!"
And he smiled hopefully.
She laughed again as she shook her head.
"Do you really, really want to know my answer to that?"
"Yes!"
"Purely on looks alone, I think I'd have to say this..."
And she grabbed hold of his bathrobe and pulled him closer, kissing him softly and then letting go again.
The Doctor stared at her for a moment, briefly brushing his fingertips to his lips as he wished that kiss had lingered.
"It's that good?"
She smiled.
"You look just fine," she promised him, "if you don't believe me, go and look in the mirror."
"I'll do that!"
The Doctor went into the bedroom.
Janey lingered by the door and watched as he cautiously looked into the mirror. He stared at the stranger reflected in the glass, and then took a closer look.
And then he started to smile.
"You're right," he told her as he turned back to the doorway, "I can't complain at all – I can get used to this..."
And he looked back at the mirror as all trace of anxiety vanished from his eyes as he took in his new appearance.
"Not bad," he remarked, "Pretty good, actually – I rather like the new me!"
And as he continued to study his reflection, Janey turned and walked away from the doorway, leaving him alone to get to know his own face.
She was still smiling as she went into the kitchen to make some tea – the Doctor certainly was strange, but she couldn't deny that she had warmed to him, he had a likeable kind of strangeness about him that she was sure she could get used to. She barely knew him, but she was quickly becoming fond of him and for reasons she couldn't explain, it felt so right to like this strange man who owned a flying police box...
As the Doctor walked into the kitchen, Janey smiled up him and pulled out a chair beside her own.
"Come and sit down," she gestured to the steaming mugs on the table, "I made us some tea."
He glanced down at his t-shirt and denim jeans as he took a seat.
"Thanks for the clothes...it's not quite me though. I'm not sure what me is yet...I'll know when I get back to the Tardis..."
"Your blue box?"
"It's not what it seems to be – I'll show you what I mean when we go back."
And he sipped his tea.
Her eyes widened.
"Go back? You can't just go back – I don't even know how you came to be in that thing in the first place."
He set the tea down on the table and gave a sigh.
"I know it sounds hard to believe, but there is more to that box than meets the eye. If you let me show you what's inside it –"
"How can anything be inside it?"
He gave her a knowing smile.
"How did it fly through the air?"
And she looked back at him, feeling as if a question mark hung over the situation, and that situation was one that couldn't be resolved here at the kitchen table...
"How do you feel?" she asked him.
"I've felt better, but I do need to get back to my Tardis, I really need to get back as soon as I can."
She said nothing as she watched him sip his tea. Then he put the mug down on the table, his gaze drawn to the salt shaker and the pepper pot that sat in the middle. His gaze stayed fixed on the items as if fascinated by something.
"Doctor?"
He heard her voice, but gave no rely as he reached out and cautiously lifted up the pepper pot.
As he raised it from the table he looked at the shape of the thing and wondered why he couldn't take his eyes off it and why the sight of it made him go so cold inside.
And then light blazed from a round eyestalk and an electronic, high-pitched voice screamed:
"EXTERMINATE!"
The light blazed within the eyestalk and the Doctor dropped the pepper pot and scrambled from his seat, knocking over the tea as he stepped back abruptly from the table.
Then he stared at the knocked over pepper pot and he kept on looking at it as he breathed hard and a chill ran through his body.
"What's wrong with you?"
Janey was up from her seat and cleaning up the mess but the Doctor was still staring at the table, watching as she set the salt and pepper upright once more and the two pots stood side by side, the salt, in a sleek, glass shaker, did not bother him at all. But the pepper pot, with its stout base and its rounded body...
"I'm sorry!"
He shook his head, wishing he could simply shake off the image of the eyestalk and the screeching voice that was still ringing in his ears as it faded out.
He had broken out in a sweat and as he looked at Janey his eyes were wide with fear.
"I don't know what I just saw - I should know but I can't remember! I'm sorry..."
Janey gave a sigh.
"And you want to go back and find that blue box of yours? There's no way you can do that, not today – you need to get some more rest."
The Doctor was visibly shaken.
"You're right, maybe I should. I'll go and lie down."
And he turned away and left the room.
Janey stood there in the kitchen, looking thoughtfully at the slender salt shaker and the stout pepper pot, then she shook her head, guessing she had been right – the Doctor was in no fit state to go anywhere, at least not for a while...
The Doctor fixed his gaze on the ceiling as the room turned sharply and he broke out in a cold sweat all over again.
In his mind the eye stalk glowed and the voice screeched EXTERMINATE again and he closed his eyes, wishing he could shut out the strange images that invaded his thoughts. He searched his broken threads of memory and many lifetimes flashed before his eyes in so many little pieces he couldn't catch any of it, all he could do was watch as half memories of long-gone lives flitted before his vision and disappeared again.
Something was out there, somewhere.
He knew it but couldn't name it, even though instinct told him he ought to know:
It was an old enemy...
But there had been many enemies over the centuries.
He gave a sigh and closed his eyes, welcoming the sensation of becoming whole again as the room stopped spinning and the memories faded away like ghosts. A strange thought came to mind and he laughed.
"I'm the most haunted man in the universe," he murmured as he looked around the quiet room and thought of the Tardis and wondered how much of his mind would come back to him once he was home.
The Tardis was his only home now; it was the only place left he had to go that tied him to his past and his roots.
All was lost now; he was the last Time Lord.
He recalled the Master's death and a sharp pain ran through his heart – it felt like the loss of a brother, the loss of his only link to any kind of kinship, despite the fact that they had been enemies. They should have been friends. But how could he have changed the heart of one that was so deep and dark inside?
The doctor was blinking back tears and he was sure it was not for the loss of the Master – just the loss of the last surviving Time Lord whose death had confirmed his worst fears – now he really was the only one left in the universe, and that was indeed a lonely thought...
The Master had died many lifetimes ago. Back then he had been in his tenth reincarnation. That had been so far back he struggled to count how many more lives he had lived – certainly more than thirteen...
Perhaps he had just been lucky.
That thought was a reassuring one after going through a regeneration that felt as if each cell had been torn out and replaced one by one, as if the transformation which had taken seconds had taken hours. If he thought about it too deeply he was sure he could still feel the new cells swirling inside him, renewed but not settled and that thought made a wave of panic wash over him.
The Doctor sat up and took in a deep breath, reminding himself he was solid, it was over - and even though he felt as if it was still happening, the regeneration was complete...
He turned his head and looked into the mirror. His new face looked back at him.
"This is you now, Doctor," he murmured, "get used to it..."
He glanced at the clock next to the bed and its ticking seemed too loud. He had stopped sweating and felt able to get up and walk without fearing he might collapse, but his new body still felt strange and he didn't know why.
He walked to the middle of the room and turned and looked back at the mirror.
"What am I missing?" he wondered aloud.
He studied his reflection and then shook his head; it was nothing he could see, nothing he could notice that seemed out of place – if anything, he felt happy with his new appearance – yet he still had the feeling something had gone wrong, event though he couldn't see it if he searched for it in his reflection...
He turned from the mirror and his own doubts as he recalled that he had never experienced an easy regeneration – each one had been difficult in its own way. But all the same, the feeling remained – almost as if something was missing inside...
As the Doctor put on a dark padded jacket and zipped it up, he cast a backwards glance down the hallway:
The light flickered from the TV; the open living room door threw out its glow in a reassuring way. He felt slightly guilty to be leaving without saying goodbye, but he guessed Janey was feeling tired after taking care of him and then worrying about him so much. Now he could imagine her exhausted, sleeping on the sofa.
As he thought about her lying there, with her eyes closed and her long black hair trailing over the soft arm of the chair, and he felt tempted to go in there and lean over her and kiss her goodbye. That was all, just a kiss and one so soft it would not wake her...
He shook his head.
"Stop it you dirty old Time Lord!" he said in a hushed voice, "Leave the girl alone..."
And then as he crept carefully towards the front door, he thought again of Janey and gave a sigh turning back as he knew he couldn't bear to leave like this. He still didn't want to wake her; he just wanted to see her one last time before he went back to the Tardis and got out of her life forever...
As he went into the front room, he looked at Janey who was sleeping, not on the sofa but in an armchair. He stepped closer and studied her face, watched the rise and fall of her chest as she rested easily and then shifted his gaze above the low cut of her skimpy top. She looked so warm as the gas fire glowed and he glanced out the window at the harsh sky and thought how cold it would be to go out there alone and make the journey back to the Tardis. He had been through a lot and just to linger here a while longer would do no harm at all...
"No!" he muttered to himself, "Don't even think about it!"
And he looked back down at Janey, thought how kind she had been, thought how pretty she was - and then felt a great deal of regret for what he was about to do. He had already come into her life and the memory of her would be enough; he had no wish to lengthen his stay and get to know her and grow feelings that were already beginning to stir. He knew a human companion would not last long on his travels, eventually she would tire of travelling and leave him, or worse - something would happen because space and time was full of lurking dangers. He had learned, he knew all this from bitter experience of love and loss over the centuries and yet...
He shook his head, knowing there was no point in trying to fight this, he wanted to kiss her, he would kiss her – and he was determined not to wake her.
Then he would leave, keeping a fondness in his heart for Janey and she would be safe here on Earth while he got back in his Tardis and went on his way.
It was such a simple idea.
He leaned closer and took a deep breath.
"Goodbye, Janey," he whispered.
Then he leaned in, brushing her lips as he bumped into the table next to the armchair and the lamp clattered to the floor. Janey woke up with a start, giving a gasp as she looked into his startled eyes.
The Doctor smiled nervously.
"Oh...Hello...I was just...I was...I..."
She blinked, straightening up in the chair as he backed off.
"Did you just kiss me?"
She had a smile on her face but the Doctor just looked at her, knowing she would soon realise what was happening because it was warm in here and he had a snow coat on.
Janey got up.
"Why have you got a coat on?"
"I wanted to see if it was my size."
She gave a sigh.
"I told you not to go anywhere until you felt stronger!"
And then she realised something else and shot him a hurtful look.
"You were going to sneak off? Just put a coat on and leave and not wake he up to say goodbye?"
Guilt swept over him as he looked back at her and wondered why humans had such a way of making him get too fond too quickly; now he knew he needed to apologise.
"You don't understand – I have to get back to my Tardis and if you came with me I'd be exposing you to all kinds of danger and I don't want to do that. I'd rather leave you here, in your nice life, safe and –"
"What's the matter now?"
Janey stared at the Doctor, watching as he froze in mid-conversation and his eyes grew wide as a vision from a past life where he had witnessed something terrible flashed to mind:
He drew in a sharp breath as he saw a gun go off and Janey slump against a wall, blood staining her skimpy white dress as her legs buckled and she slid to the floor, leaving a bloody stain glistening on the wall as the life drained out of her...
Somewhere back in the past, in another life, he had been involved in Janey's life, enough to know that she would die...someone would shoot her, a man, someone who used to be close to her...
He struggled to remember and instantly felt cursed by his own birthright –he knew everything that ever was and ever would be...
Then he looked into her eyes and wished he could hold her again, keep her safe and warm and alive...
"You can't go anywhere yet," she was saying, "you're not well, you need to stay here -"
She was startled as he reached out and grabbed hold of her.
"I can't let this happen!"
She blinked, studied his face and hoped her words had finally got through to him.
"I know, that's what I was trying to tell you, Doctor – you're not well enough to go anywhere yet!"
He pulled her closer and hugged her. As he held her his eyes filled with tears as that certain feeling that the universe had just turned full circle and closed him up inside it confirmed everything:
He couldn't let her die.
He was fond of her, but there was more to it than feeling gratitude for the kindness of a stranger. He was going to feel much, much more for her and it covered him until he could barely breathe as he held on tight to her slender frame. As he let go, she stared at him.
"I know," he said, "it doesn't matter what I know – just accept that I know and that changes a lot of things! I'll stay here tonight. But I must leave in the morning. I'm not sure what I'll do next. I need to think about it."
He let go of her and ran his fingers through his hair as he paced towards the door and then turned back to her.
"I will think of something," he promised her," but not tonight. I've spent most of the day resting and I'm still not recovered. I need more sleep."
She nodded thoughtfully as she wondered again if he was more than slightly insane.
As he walked out of the room and down the hallway, she walked beside him.
"I'm sorry if I'm not making sense," he told her as he took off the coat and hung it upon a hook on the wall, "I have so much going though my mind, I can't catch my own thoughts it's all moving too fast – can you understand that?"
She nodded again, and once more considered the fact that her handsome and strangely likeable man, who owned a flying blue box, might be insane.
"You need to go to bed," she reminded him.
As she opened the door of the spare room he walked inside and glanced back at her.
"Yes, you're right – we do!"
Then his eyes widened.
"I mean I need to go to bed, to sleep..."
Janey started to smile.
"I think you could use some help."
"No, I'm fine, thank you."
As he said those words he sat down on the bed and glanced back at her.
"I'm fine, I'm going to sleep..."
She walked over to him and reached out, running her hand over his damp hair and sweeping it off his face.
"You're still burning up a bit."
"I feel cold again, I just want to get in bed."
"Do you need anything, a glass of water?"
He looked up at her.
"No."
As his blue eyes met with hazel, he thought again how pretty she was and it was a thought he couldn't push away.
"What about some warm milk?"
"No thanks, I don't want that either."
She looked at him with such kindness in her eyes.
"I'll say good night, then."
"Goodnight," the Doctor replied.
Janey leaned forward and their lips touched.
He wrapped his arms around her and drew her on to the bed as their kiss grew deeper, then and he ran his fingers through her long dark hair, wanting nothing more than to lie back on this soft bed, and to be in the arms of Janey Shelby, in this room, on a planet called Earth - because he needed to be safe and warm and in her arms, he felt sure he had found safety, at least for now.
When early morning sunlight broke through cloud and its weak winter rays broke golden through the nets that hung at the windows, the doctor woke up and gave a sigh as he smiled and enjoyed the warm, comfortable sensation of being naked beneath soft warm covers.
Then he opened his eyes, lazily at first – but they soon snapped wide open as he caught his breath on seeing Janey beside him; she was still fast asleep, she was on her back and breathing slowly and evenly and as he looked at her memories of last night flashed through his mind:
Being hot and breathless in Janey's arms.
Hearing her gasp and feeling her nails scrape his shoulders as he moved hard against her. She had wrapped her legs around his waist and he had taken her with a surprising amount of energy he didn't know he still had after going through such a rough regeneration.
She had trembled in his arms and he had not thought of tenderness or gentleness as he had thrust deep, making her cry out as he lost himself in a moment of sheer bliss...
And now, he felt guilty...
The Doctor turned on his side and watched Janey as she slept.
He ran his fingertips over a lock of her dark hair and wished he could kiss her again, but that would be too risky – last time he had done that, she had woken up...
Suddenly the comfortable bed felt like a trap from which there was little chance of escape as Janey turned over and slid her arm around his waist
He turned over but she shifted closer, murmured something as she kissed his shoulder, and then slipped back into a deep sleep.
"Oh shit!" the Doctor whispered.
He looked down on the floor, at the tangled, messy heap of clothing...their night certainly had been passionate - and not what he would have wanted to do had he not been so vulnerable and in need of company after such a rough regeneration experience...
He carefully slipped free from her sleeping embrace and got up, taking care to shift his weight from the mattress carefully as he left her bed.
Then he grabbed shoes, jeans, t-shirt and as something lacy tangled in his fingers he realised he had also grabbed Janey's underwear. He tossed it aside with a flick of his hand and the lace knickers landed on top of the bedside lamp, half-draped over a white paper shade.
He looked back at the sleeping woman.
"Sorry!" he whispered, and backed out of the room.
The Doctor dressed quickly, then grabbed the coat that was hanging up in the hallway and put it on.
He turned to the door and quickly searched the coat pockets, remembering something was missing.
"Where is it?" he said in a hushed voice as his eyes filled with panic, "Where's the bloody key?"
And he hurried through to the kitchen and quietly lifted his scorched clothing from where she had dumped it in the kitchen waste bin. He glanced over his shoulder and then searched the dirty clothing, finally smiling as he grabbed the chain with a key on the end of it and pulled it from his torn jacket.
"I won't get home with out this!" he said, holding up the Tardis key.
He put it in the pocket of his snow coat and quickly made for the front door, turning the lock, sliding back the bolt.
Then he was gone, hurrying up the path and out into the street, looking left and right as he wondered which turn would take him in the right direction to lead him back to his Tardis...
As Janey slowly opened her eyes, she smiled, planning to reach out and slide her hands over his warm body and pull him closer, inviting more kisses.
Then her smile faded as her eyes widened and she sat up sharply on seeing the empty space beside her.
"Doctor?" she said aloud.
Then she listened, heard no sounds of running water in the bathroom, nor of breakfast cooking in the kitchen. The flat was silent.
She got out of bed and glanced down the hallway:
His coat was missing.
"Oh no!" she exclaimed, recalling how unstable he had been such a short time ago, "What did you do it for, you idiot?"
And then she dashed back into her bedroom and began to get dressed, hurrying as fast as she could while she frantically worried about the man who owned a flying blue box, who was not nearly well enough to go stumbling out into the cold morning in search of his strange Tardis that he thought of as home...
The Doctor had not been ready for exactly how cold it was outside - under other circumstances he would have barely noticed the chilly conditions, but he was still newly regenerated, recovering from a regeneration that had been a rough experience and as he hurried along the street, the cold seemed to cut to the bone painfully as if his skin may as well have been made of paper and his thick coat non-existent.
He paused, waiting for the traffic lights to change as both lanes slowed down then he crossed the busy road and turned a corner and began to walk past a long parade of shops.
He wasn't far from the Tardis now; it would be a long, cold walk up Bramley Road, but he remembered the Tardis has crashed in the woodland just inside a place called Snakes lane, so he was almost there, he was cold, the sharp air hurt and cut through his newly regenerated body, if he thought about it too much he was sure he might collapse, or see old enemies in his head once more - but he tried not to think about it as he walked on briskly, passing shoppers who were bundled up against the cold as he headed for the long road that would lead him back to the Tardis.
"Doctor!"
He glanced over his shoulder and gave a weary sigh.
"Oh no!" he said aloud, turning his back as he continued to walk, this time moving as fast as his partially recovered body would allow.
But she ran after him, as he hurried on and then found the sharp, cold air hurt to breathe in and as he was forced to slow down, a hand grabbed at his coat and he turned around.
"Wait for me!"
She was standing there, slightly breathless in a padded white jacket that matched her boots. Her short woollen skirt looked thick, as did the dark tights that covered her slender legs, and although her face was flushed and her breath coming out in short bursts of icy cloud in the sharp air, she seemed barely affected by the cold and had handled the dash up the street far better than the Doctor, who was still struggling to recover from the difficult regeneration.
"You," he said breathlessly, "are not coming with me! I have to do this on my own!"
Concern filled her hazel eyes as she watched him struggle to catch his breath.
"You shouldn't be out here in the cold, not yet."
"Once I get back to the Tardis I'll be fine - there's energy there, it can ..." he paused, shaking his head, "no... forget I said that, you wouldn't understand. Just go home, Janey – I'm sorry I left the way I did..."
He unzipped his coat despite the chill and placed his hand against the middle of his chest as he dragged in some air, "Janey, please... go home!"
But she still stood there with that concerned look in her eyes as she watched him breathing heavily with his hand against the left side of his chest.
"You need to come home with me, you're not right –"
"I'm fine!" the Doctor said, fighting to take in another breath as he pressed harder against his chest, "I just feel weakened...bit breathless, I wasn't ready to leave, true - but once I'm back in the Tardis you'll see a big change in me..."
He was still breathless.
"You don't need to worry," he promised her, "I'm finding the cold air a little...difficult to...breathe in... my hearts are beating harder than usual, but that's because I've just regenerated-"
He stopped.
A look of shock came to his face as the hand against the left side of his chest shifted to the right and he just stood there for a moment, and then as he shifted his hand left, then right again, he drew in a shaken breath and looked fearfully at Janey.
"This is bad!" he said in a frightened voice, "This...this happened before in my first life...it doesn't happen again until the last..."
And now he wasn't gasping for air because he was breathless, he was shaken and tearful and he stifled a sob as he leaned against the doorway of a closed shop front, slid down it, put his head in his hands and started to sob.
"That last what?" Janey demanded, glancing left and right as she noticed shoppers were staring as they walked past.
He looked up at her and his face was streaked with tears.
"My last life!" he sobbed, "I have no more regenerations - I have one heart, one! I'm supposed to have two, what sort of a Time Lord am I now? I'll tell you what I am; I'm a Time lord with one of my hearts missing! I have no more lives left, this is it for me, this is the end!"
And as he ranted on about his missing heart and his voice echoed around the street, alarming passing shoppers, Janey cringed a little and stepped closer to him, lowering her voice.
"Please get up Doctor – people are staring! And its embarrassing, too – you're going on about only having one heart as if you woke up this morning and found out one of your balls were missing!"
"Well there are certain parts of a Time Lord's body that are supposed to come in a pair, and hearts are one of them, Janey!"
He was still tearful.
She held out her hand.
"Get up, please - if you cause a scene someone might call the police. I don't know what you mean about two hearts. I thought people could only have one...I'm not even sure how much of all the stuff you go on about is real or in your head. But I do know we can't stay here, and you have to get up off the pavement."
The Doctor wiped his eyes and took hold of her hand as he got back to his feet once more.
"I've got one heart," he said again, "just one - that means it's come full circle. There will be no lives after this one, this is my last...I don't know how to come to terms with that..."
And tears blurred his eyes as he looked at her and silently wished she would say something that would take away his fears, but Janey had only just started to try to understand him and all she knew for sure was, they would accomplish nothing here on the street while he slowly became unravelled over an apparently missing second heart.
"Come on," she said gently, "let's go back to your Tardis. I'll come with you, maybe we can figure something out; try not to get upset, you're not alone - I'm here for you."
The Doctor nodded, feeling grateful now that Janey had decided to take it upon herself to follow him.
They turned and walked up the street, beginning a long walk that would eventually lead to the Tardis.
And as they walked, they kept their hands linked tightly, going on their way, now looking to the eyes of outsiders like any other couple out for a stroll on a cold winter's morning...