The second of my 12 days of hetalia fic! ^_^ sorry it's more angst and it barely passes for anything remotely holiday-ish . . . and it bumps the rating up to M cuz i'm very umm . . . descriptive about the Nanking Massacre aka The Rape of Nanking (and yes . . . I am descriptive in that way . . . sorry if I scar anybody with the facts . . . or the fiction. -_-;) R&R

Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia or it's characters.

By the way . . .

blahblahblah: Yao's thoughts (at first.)

blahblahblah: China talking to Yao.

blahblahblah: Memories (after the thoughts are done.)

Yao sat on the back porch alone, staring up at the moon. "It's so pretty aru." He says to himself.

"Hai." A voice said from behind him.

Yao froze; he knew that voice. It was the voice of his little Kiku and the voice of the merciless Japan. "W-well, sit d-down, aru . . ." He said brushing his hair back shakily, hating himself for stuttering.

Why was he so nervous? It had been a few years since . . . since Nanking. Even though it was December now, he didn't having anything to be nervous about right?

"Hai." Japan sat on the porch next to Yao, placing himself a few feet away from the older nation.

Yao closed his eyes and attempted to calm down. Japan was better now, he told himself, America had helped him. Yao knew he didn't need to worry but he still felt a little uneasy. Heknew the Nanking affairs had been settled, but . . . those days still came back and haunted him every now and again and he couldn't help but be terrified.

Yao bit his lip, eyes shut tightly, trying to stop the memories from resurfacing.

No! Stop, not those!

He hates you. A small part of his mind whispers, it's the nation side of him; China.

No! Go away aru! I don't want to remember! He thinks frantically, as the memories loom closer.

But he did all of those things to you. He hurt you, hurt us, betrayed you, he even-

Yao was trembling now. Don't aru! He didn't want to remember those painful things; it was Christmas for goodness sakes, today should be a happy day.

Don't say it aru!

He raped you. Your precious little brother raped you. Defiled you, HURT you.

No! Yao shook his head violently as Kiku stared at him curiously. No!

That one word brought all the memories rushing back to the surface and Yao curled into a ball, his fists balled up against his ears, trying to block the memories out. No! He didn't want to remember them! NonononoNO!

The memories surface, clear as day; the buildings set aflame with his people trapped inside, the young girls and women of all ages who were forced upon and defiled, the decapitation contests, mass graves, his people buried alive, the lives that ended before they could start as fetuses were ripped out of their mothers' womb by the soldiers, the families forced to rape each other while the rest of the family was forced to watch, and the enemy soldiers, laughing, enjoying the suffering. Those were all to his people, but that final memory . . . .

"No! Stop aru! I don't want to remember it!" Yao cries out, body trembling.

Japan stared at him uneasily; he had a pretty good guess on what the other was seeing and he didn't like it. It filled him with guilt.

Yao trembled as the worst memory surfaces. No, Stop! He didn't want to remember, but the memory started up anyway, uncaring.

Japan had already started slaughtering Yao's people and was holding him captive. One night he comes back and an argument is started between the two and then-

"No!" Yao whimpers aloud.

He is shoved back on the bed, his beloved brother, kissing him roughly. 'What? No, stop aru!' Kiku is kissing him everywhere, touching him everywhere, clothes are ripped off, both his own and Kiku's. He struggles to get free, 'No! Stop aru!' Japan ignores him, capturing his lips in a kiss again and shoves in roughly, violating Yao.

Yao cries out in pain, tears falling down his face as Japan repeats the motion again and again, hurting Yao.

"N-no! It hurts aru! S-stop it! We're brothers!" Yao sobs aloud, tears falling freely down his face. Japan flinches at the words; now aware that his earlier suspicion had been correct.

'We are not brothers! We share no blood; we have never been sibling!' Japan snarled, thrusting roughly. Yao cried out, whimpering. 'S-stop aru . . . '

Japan ignored him, thrusting faster and more sporadically, breath coming in short pants; Yao cries out and Japan thrusts into him desperately. A few moments later he slams into Yao painfully and gasps, digging his nails into Yao's back as he released. He slumps against Yao and after a moment, pulls out and stands up, re-dressing himself.

"W-why aru?" Yao whimpered, voice breaking. "Why?" As the memory ends, Yao's breath hitched and he hugged himself tightly as he sobbed violently.

Kiku stared at him painfully. He knew it was his fault the Yao was in so much pain. It was all his fault.

Some time later, Yao sat up, uncurling and wiping his eyes. "Aiyaah, when did I become such a crybaby aru?" He joked, giving Japan a half smile.

Japan stared at him for a moment. It hurt; he caused Yao all that pain and he knew it. He knew it and he was so so sorry. "G-gomen . . . " He stutters, head lowered in shame and guilt. He would not ask to be forgiven; he didn't deserve it. But he had to let Yao know how desperately sorry he was. How he wished he could take it all back, how he hated seeing Yao in pain.

"What for aru?" Yao asked, puzzled.

Japan bows down fully, prostrating himself in front of Yao. "Gomen nasai . . . Hontoni gomen." He repeated, voice uncharacteristically wavering. "I did so many . . . so many unforgivable things." He said voice breaking. "I am more sorry than I can ever tell you. Gomen nasai." Japan stops talking and he can feel the tears falling down his face of their own accord. He feels terrible. He hurts so much . . . but he's hurt Yao more. He's glad he hurts a little; it's punishment for hurting Yao.

Yao looks down at him, startled. His eyes widen as he notices the almost imperceptible shaking of Kiku's shoulders and he hears the other's voice hitch.

He's crying?

Yao looks down at him, "Sit up aru . . . " He says softly.

Kiku sits up and stares at his lap, making no move to wipe the tears that are still falling. Yao looked at him for a moment then extended a hand, slowly reaching up to Kiku's face. Kiku flinched slightly, expecting to be hit, so of course he was a little surprised when Yao leaned forward and gently wiped away his tears.

"Why are you crying aru?" Yao asked gently.

Japan looked at his lap. "Gomen . . . " He repeated sorrowfully.

Yao rests his hand on Kiku's cheek, looking at him. Silly boy, he'll apologize but he won't ask for forgiveness. I'd give it to him too.

And he would. Even after this child –still young compared to his 4,000+ years– had done so much to hurt him. Even when the boy had scarred him deeply, Yao knew he would always forgive the boy. Because no matter what the other nation did Kiku would always be his little brother and Yao loved him.

"Won't you ask aru?" Yao asks softly, stroking one of Kiku's cheeks. When Japan just continues to stare at his lap, Yao sighs softly. "Aiyahh, look at me Nihon." He requests softly.

For a long time nothing happens, then slowly Kiku looks up at Yao; his tears haven't stopped but oh god, those eyes. Yao feels his heart constrict painfully at the so completely, desperate and hopeless look in the other nations eyes. It's painful to look at them; his little Kiku is in so much pain right now. He leans forward, not quite sure what he's doing -he just wants Kiku to stop looking at him like that- and kisses the other nation softly on the lips.

He pulls back a moment later and meets Kiku's eyes; confusion has been added to the pain and his tears have stopped out of pure shock.

Yao caresses this cheek, "My little Kiku, please don't cry . . . " He begs softly, "It's all right, Wǒ yuánliàng nín." (I forgive you.)

There was a sharp intake of breath and Kiku's eyes widened. He stared at Yao, hardly daring to breathe. "B-but I've . . . "

Done so many things.

Hurt you.

Hated you.

. . . Violated you.

"I know aru. Wǒ yuánliàng nín." He says sincerely.

Kiku's eyes water and he shakes his head as tears fall. "No, I-. . . don't forgive me so easily . . . onegai, I-"

Yao cuts him off by pulling him into a hug. "Shh, it's okay aru. It hurt but . . . " He pulls back and looks the other in the eyes. "You are still the little one I found alone among the bamboo. I love you gege." (brother)

Kiku stared at him for a moment then quite suddenly, leaned forward and burst into tears hugging Yao tightly.

He had resigned himself to the fact that Yao would never forgive him and now . . . Yao has forgiven him, only a few years later. He couldn't believe it.

Yao smiled sadly and held him, rubbing his back softly.

After awhile Japan stopped crying and he pulled back, wiping his eyes. "Arigatou." He said quietly. "Thank you . . . "

Yao smiled and they sat there quietly for a few moment's before he gasps. "Oh! Hey, Kiku?"

" . . . Yes?"

Yao smiled at him happily. "Merry Christmas aru!"

Kiku stared at him blankly for a long moment before smiling softly. "Merry Christmas Yao-nii."

AN: Yeah . . . sorry that was really angsty. -_- This just refused to leave my mind until I typed it up so there ya go. :3

Hoped you liked it! R&R

Also, sorry if I scared anybody with my descriptiveness . . . just be thankful you've never seen any picture's of the Nanking Massacre, those who have seen pictures know what I mean. *shudders* And if you are curious enough to want to look up pictures; DON'T LOOK THEM UP. Seriously . . . you'll regret it if you stumble across the photos. -_-; They're scary.

Au revoir!

JWR

EDIT: Change of plans; unless I get really motivated soon I'm not gonna post any more chapters for this. ^^; sorry if you were looking forward to more but i got no motivation!