Authors Notes: Hello everyone I'm back. I can't believe how long it took me to get this posted. I am the king of procrastination. After checking the section for "Kiki's delivery service" (My favorite Hayao Miyazaki movie) I noticed there were only like 12 fanfics. So once this is finished I might do a fic for "Kiki's delivery service" if I get a good idea. I plan on doing more writing so hopefully I'll be posting more often. Also, I'm using the Disney song for "Walrus and the carpenter" so you should probably skip past the text for it and just listen to it on youtube.
P.S. Keep an eye out for a "Simpsons" one shot I plan on releasing. It's mostly written but I still need to type it up.
Disclaimer: I do not own The grim adventures of Billy & Mandy, or Alice in Wonderland.
Mandy had been floating in the glass bottle for what felt like hours and, having not eaten since breakfast, hunger was begging to set in. Great, I go from being trapped in a room to being stranded in an ocean, this day can't get any better she thought sarcastically. Just then Mandy began to hear a jaunty tune float across the calm waves. "Ooooooooh the sailors life is the life for me. How I love to sail on the bounding sea, and I never ever ever do a thing about the weather for the weather never ever dose a thing for me." sang a cheerful fat dodo bird wearing a sailors hat, a red jacket with gold buttons, and smoking a pipe. The dodo was seated atop a large pumpkin and was using a yellow flamingo to row across the ocean. "Why hello there young lady." said the dodo taking notice of her presence "The name's Captain Archibald P. Dodo." continued the dodo, bowing graciously and removing his hat, revealing a single pink feather standing up on top of his head. "What, may I ask, is your name?" "None of your damn business." responded Mandy coldly. "Well None-of-your-damn-business, what brings you out here this fine morning?" asked the Dodo. Mandy gave an annoyed sigh while rubbing her temples "I'm looking for white rabbit named Patrick. He came through here but I ended up in this stupid bottle." answered Mandy in Matter-O-Fact sort of tone. "Well, that dose seem like quite the predicament but I'm afraid I haven't the time for idol conversation." stated the Dodo who was looking through a backwards telescope. "So I must be off, Tootle-pip." With that the Dodo continued to sail across the sea. "Wait you idiot! How do I get out of here!" yelled Mandy in vain, as the Dodo continued to sail away, either unable to hear her or simply choosing to ignore her. Leaving Mandy to, once again, angrily slump down inside the bobbing bottle.
The bottle fell to it's side with a loud thud. Mandy rubbed the back of her head after hitting her head on the hard glass before emerging from the bottle. She found herself standing on a large beach... The most peculiar beach she had ever seen. The sand was not golden brown or yellow, but a soft shade of blue and there were strange orange plants with red flowers scattered across the beach. Further down the beach was, what sounded like, singing. "over, under, outward, inward, bottom to the top" the words were faint at first but became more clear as Mandy approached the source. "You will never lose and no one will ever stop" Finally the source of the tune had come into view, and to Mandy's displeasure it was the very same Dodo she had seen only moments ago. He was standing atop a tall rock next to a cossie little fire while many different sea creatcher's, such as starfish, lobsters, and crabs (as well as the flamingo he had used as a paddle) constantly ran circles around his little perch. In addition to this, every few minutes a large wave that's height was just under that of the stone pillar would completely engulf the runners, and yet they wouldn't stop. "What the hell is... this?" Mandy asked herself. "Why, if it isn't None-of-your-damn-business, what brings you here! We've just started a caucus race to get dry!" shouted the Dodo. "A caucus race." said Mandy, lifting an eyebrow "Looks more like a bunch of retards playing grab-ass to me. Besides you'll never..." Mandy was knocked over and into the ring of runners by another large wave. She stood up and spat out sea water while being pushed by the runners who assumed she was joining the race. "Get dry like that." Finished Mandy in annoyed tone. "Oh nonsense, I'm practically dry as a bone already." chuckled the Dodo. Just then, in a flurry of water and whiskers, the white rabbit ran out of the sea and across the beach, into a thick forest. Not wanting to miss her chance, Mandy began to follow the rabbit once more. "I suppose you'll be off then?" asked the Dodo. "Oh well, tootle-pip." As Mandy ran past the pumpkin the Dodo had sailed on she got a wicked idea in her head and stopped dead in her tracks. Acting quickly, Mandy lifted the pumpkin over her head and launched it at the Dodo, knocking him of his perch and into the water with a satisfying splat. Giving herself a satisfied grin before continuing her chase.
Mandy dashed through the thick forest at top speed, trying to both follow the trail left by the white rabbit and ignore her hunger. Panting heavily, she took a seat on a log in a small clearing. After a moment of catching her breath she could once again hear the faint cries of "OH DEAR, OH MY FURR AND WHISKERS" echoing through the trees, but she was unsure of where it had come from. In desperation, Mandy began to search for any clues pointing in the rabbits direction. Mandy's focus in this task was so powerful, that she was unable to notice that she was being watched the whole time.
"Where the hell did he go?" she wondered aloud as the eye's drifted towards her. She searched the the foliage for any hint, a whisker, some fabric, or a button. Pay dirt she thought as she uncovered a small patch of white fur clinging to a thistle bush, followed by a trail of crushed grass and broken twigs. Instantly Mandy took off in full stride, pumping her arms as hard as she could to make up for the time she had lost. However, she was only running for a moment before she hit some thing hard and hit the ground even harder.
Sitting herself up Mandy could see two fat, doe-eyed, man children with messy red hair standing over her. "Greetings, I am Tweedle Dumb." said the twin on the left cheerfully. "And contrary-wise, I am Tweedle Dee." said the equally chipper twin on the right. "It's a pleasure to meet you." they both stated in unison." Mandy simply rose to her feet, dusted herself off, and calmly said "Get the hell out of my way" before pushing the aside and continuing down the path. "Oh, but you can't leave just yet." said Tweedle Dee as the each grabbed one of her arms and pulled her back. "That's right. The visits only just begun." continued Tweedle Dumb. Mandy began to rub her temples in frustration, "Why do red-headed retards always want to spend time with me?" she asked herself. "Listen," continued Mandy, attempting to be more rational "I'm kinda in a hurry." "Why?" asked the twins. "Because I'm chasing a white rabbit." she replied, only just now realizing how odd the whole thing sounded. "Why?" asked the twins again. "Because I'm curious." replied Mandy in an annoyed tone. Once again Mandy pushed aside the pair of half-wits and attempted to leave, half expecting to be pulled back again. "The Oysters were curious too." said Tweedle Dumb, a stream of running down his plump cheeks. "Oh, how the suffered."
continued Tweedle Dee between sniffles. Mandy stopped in her tracks. Of the many things that Mandy enjoyed, the suffering of others was high on the list. "What do you mean by that?" she asked, grinning with anticipation. "Oh, you wouldn't be interested." answered Tweedle Dee. "That's right, you're in much to big of a hurry." continued Tweedle Dumb. Both of them had stopped crying as though someone had hit an off switch. "Fine, don't tell me." Mandy responded, she was in no mood to be dealing with them. "Alright, ya talked us into it." stated the twins in unison, as they grabbed her and sat her down on a log.
"Ahem," Tweedle Dee cleared his through "The Walrus and The Carpenter". "Or" continued Tweedle Dumb "The Tale of the Curious Oysters."
The sun was shining on the sea, shining with all its might!
It did it's very best to make the billows smooth and bright!
And this is odd because it was...
The Middle of the night!
The Walrus and the Carpenter were walking close at hand!
The Beach was wide from side to side but much to full of sand!
"Mr. Walrus" said the Carpenter "My brain begins to perk"
"We'll sweep this clear in half a year. If you don't mind the work."
"Work. The time has come" the Walrus said "To speak of other things"
"Of shoes, and ships, and sealing wax, and cabbages, and kings"
"And why the sea is boiling hot, and weather pigs have wings"
"Callooh Callay no work today, Were cabbages and kings"
"Little Oysters, come and walk with us. The day is warm and bright"
"A pleasant walk, a pleasant talk would be a shier delight"
"And should we get hungry on the way we'll stop to have a bite"
But Mother Oyster winked her eye and shook her heavy head
She knew too well this was no time to leave her oyster bed
"The sea is nice, take my advice and stay right her" mum said
"Yes, but the time has come" the Walrus said "to speak of other things"
"Of shoes, and ships, and sealing wax, of cabbages, and kings"
"And why the sea is boiling hot, and weather pigs have wings"
"Callooh Callay come run away. We're the cabbages and kings"
(flute solo)
"Now let me see. A LOAF OF BREAD" the walrus said "Is what we chiefly need."
"How bout some salt, pepper, n vinniger eh?"
"Yes, yes, very good indeed"
"Now if you're ready, oysters dear, we can begin to feed"
"The time has come my little friends to talk of food and things"
"Of pepper corn, and mustard seed, and other seasonings. We'll mix 'em all together in a sauce that's fit for kings. Callooh Callay we'll eat today. Like cabbages and kings."
"I weep for you, I deeply sympathize, for I've enjoyed your company much more than you realize"
"Little oysters, Little oysters" but answer there came none
and this was scarcely odd because,
They'd been eaten, every one.
"THE TIME HAS COME!"
Were cabbages and kings.
"So what did you think?" the brainless dopes asked. "Not enough misery or suffering." she stated dully "And I HATE musical numbers." she added with an extra bit of bite. "Oh, but didn't you like how it was sunny at night?" Tweedle Dumb asked in a hopeful tone. "No.", The words pierced Tweedle Dumb like a knife. "In fact, whoever wrote that trash should be dragged out behind a shed, and shot." Mandy finished, enjoying the steady flow of tears pouring from Tweedle Dumbs eyes. "You've done it now." Stated an angered Tweedle Dee, wagging a finger in Mandy's face "You've made my little brother cry." Before he could continue to scold her, Mandy quickly grabbed his hand and squeezed hard. With a sickening crack Tweed Dee fell to his knees, wincing in pain. "MY HAND!" he screeched through the tears "I think you've broken it." Mandy continued past the, now defeated, man-children. "I don't have time to waste on you. You both remind me far to much of an idiot I have to deal with back home." With a final lashing of her sharp tongue, Mandy continued down the trail. She was finally back on track to finding the white rabbit.