I thank you guys for your reviews and I have tried to find time to write and I followed amelancholic's idea on a chapter with Syaoran's POV. There's quite a bit of raw emotion in this that I have sort of taken from my own experience of a loss of communication with my best friend recently and most of the italic questions are personal questions I want to ask my best friend. So umm yea hope you guys enjoy this.
Disclaimer: Again I aint filthy rich so CCS is not mine.
Two years. Twenty-four months. One-hundred and five weeks. Seven-hundred and thirty one days. It is strange to think that it has been this long since I last saw you. Every day I think of you and I am enraged. Enraged at the idea that I have no idea on your whereabouts. Enraged at the thought that the questions I have been asking have been left unanswered. Enraged at the notion that you of all people would keep secrets from me that has led to your disappearance. I am filled with worry of what have become of you.
Are you well?
Most of all in the two years, twenty-four months, one-hundred and five weeks, seven-hundred and thirty one days I have missed you and that has outweighed the rage and pain.
Do you miss me too?
I think of you every day and I miss you more. My wife does not understand. My father sees my pain and gives me sympathy. I try to forget but how do I forget my memories of my best friend. My wife asked me today to not pursue looking for you and to leave you alone. I tell her I okay. Although, I still wish you would contact me and give me reason.
Do you think of me too?
"Do you love me?"
I am startled and slowly turn "What? Ofcourse."
"Then stop doing this! Your Father said if she doesn't want to be found then she won't be." Her voice rising.
"I can't she's my best friend.." I apologise.
"Best friend?! Syaoran, a best friend doesn't just disappear out of the blue. If she treated you like her best friend then she shouldn't have caused you this much pain." She's angry now.
"But as her best friend I shouldn't give up on her.." I reason with her.
"And as my husband you shouldn't care about another woman more than your own wife!" Tears threaten to fall from her eyes. "This is ruining our marriage! I love you, I do but I can't compete with Sakura for your attention especially if she doesn't even want it!"
"What are you saying..?"
"It is selfish to ask you of this but I need to… its either her or me. You stop this craziness or I walk out the door." Tears are freely running down her cheeks now and the pain is etched in her whole being. I love her. I do. I convince myself so I whisper, "Okay."
We embrace and we make love later that night.
Four years. Forty-eight months. Two hundred and ten weeks. One thousand and sixty two days. I still feel the rage and the pain. My questions are still unanswered. I still worry of you. If I ever see you again the question I want to ask first is not why but:
How are you?
I still miss you. I have new experiences in the last four years, forty-eight months, two hundred and ten weeks and one thousand and sixty two days that I would've liked to have shared with you. I try to be happy and I guess I am happier. A dull ache remains and I still feel a hole in my heart.
Do you feel my loss too?
I think of you every now and then and I miss you three-fold. I've been good at hiding it from my wife. My father says I have turned into a cold man. We don't mention your name in the house anymore. This makes Lianne happier. My priority is to make memories with her and to make my marriage work. There's so much I still don't understand about women though. I wish you'd come back.
Will I ever see you again?
"Has business turned you cold my son?" My father asks after a business meeting. I look at him confused. What does he mean? Am I cold?
"You don't have that smile anymore. I have hardly heard you laugh in last four years. Is it because of business or have you finally grown up?" he asks me directly. Four years. I look at him in obvious frustration.
"What do you expect Father?"
"Is it still because of.."
"Don't." I cut him off.
"Syaoran, it's time.." he trails off as I give him a well-practiced glare. "Not saying her name won't make the problem disappear. It's not as if our memory of her is gone. She isn't dead."
"How do you know that?" I yell angrily, "Has she contacted you to tell she's not dead? No! It's better this way. Besides, Lianne doesn't like it when I say her name. She thinks I shouldn't dwell in the past. Lianne's my priority, she is my future." I say in a final tone and turn to leave.
"But is she the one in your heart?" He asks quietly.
"She's my wife." I say. I hear him sigh and say, "That's not what I asked." I leave and choose to ignore him. What does he know? I married Lianne for a reason,
and that reason is because I love her. Right? I wish you were here you'd tell me exactly what I need to hear.
Five years. Sixty Months. Two-hundred and sixty one weeks. One thousand eight hundred and twenty-six days. My emotions are now a jumble. My wife has accepted the change in me and we are happier now in our marriage. I have now accepted the reality that if you do not want to be found then I will not find you. My mind does not ask questions about your whereabouts anymore. Although I still worry, this will not disappear but I am happier.
Are you happy?
When I think of you then I miss you. It is not as often anymore though. My life has been busier. My wife is my priority and she wants a child now. I am terrified. You were always better with children. I wish you were here to tell me it will be okay. A stab of pain shoots through me when I think of my child not ever meeting you.
Do you feel the same pain?
I am colder but happier since you have left. Words, moments, objects and people remind me of snippets of you and I miss you even more. I thought I saw you the other day, through the crowd and I ran after her. But it is not you. She didn't have your eyes. I miss your eyes. They were my favourite thing in the world. They still are.
Will amber ever see emerald again?
"Sir, your meeting with Ms Yoshi is this afternoon at three to finalise everything for the International Business Gala tomorrow," Nara, my assistant says as she runs through my schedule for the day. "Also, this is the list for all the Businesses that were invited by your Father," she continues while handing me the file.
I scan the papers and I double take on a name listed, "Nara, you know what I want for that gala so you go meet the organiser. Also book a meeting with my Father at three tell him I have something important to talk to him about." I cut her off without looking up from my papers.
"Yes sir." She replies and walks out my office.
I am still looking at the file. I double check and triple check. It definitely says Kinomoto it is a name I have not seen in many years. I wonder is it you? Or is it merely a coincidence? Another family with the same name? It isn't impossible. Maybe I'm just paranoid.
"Sir?" the intercom buzzes and my train of thought is interrupted.
"What?"
"It seems your Father is in China and would not be back till later tomorrow afternoon. I have tried to get in contact with him through his assistant but I couldn't reach him."
Sigh.
"Okay, I'll contact him myself." I reply frustrated. I dial his number and I hear a gruff voice on the other side, "Li."
"Father, the Kinomoto invited for the Gala is it the same Kinomoto Touya?"
"It is but it's not."
"That doesn't make any sense."
"I did invite Kinomoto Touya but it seems the person attending is just a representative and nothing more."
"Did you speak with him?"
"No. I have not spoken to him for almost six years. You know this."
"Yes, you're right I do. It's just; I miss her now more than ever. And I just thought…God I don't know what to think."
"I understand."
"I thought I saw her the other day. Yamazaki thought I was losing my mind just running off after this girl." I laugh bitterly. "Do you miss her too?"
"I do. Everyday."
I whip my head quickly as a flash of auburn reaches my periphery and breaks my attention to my wife. "What is it?" Lianne asks as the waiter arrives with our meal.
"Nothing I Just thought I saw… never mind." I reply with a smile. I reach for her hand and rub her knuckles with my thumb in a soothing manner and she returns my smile. We have a pleasant dinner and Lianne is thoroughly impressed with the meal and restaurant.
"Where did you hear about this place?" Lianne asks me.
"Nara, my assistant says this restaurant will cater another business Gala like the one last year."
"Oh lovely, so we're taste testing for your work?" She replies teasingly. I give her a look and she just grins at me. I sigh inwardly, "I'm just kidding. I am definitely bringing some of my friends here next time," she continues.
"Happy Anniversary again," I whisper to her and kiss her hand gently. It is foul for me to admit that remembering my wedding anniversary is usually filled with remembering you.
"I love you," she replies. I kiss her hand again.
Our waiter arrives at the table and Lianne and I both pass our compliments to the chef and order a dessert. Minutes pass and a glass of wine after our dessert arrives and Lianne gasps loudly. It is not due to the beautifully presented dessert but instead the beauty that presented the dessert. I am frozen. She smiles at Lianne thanks her for the compliment on the food and she turns to me and gives me a smile too. A smile I could not return. I look her up and down and her smile falters. "Sir?" she questions. I look at her face and finally amber meets emerald.
Six years. Seventy-two months. Three hundred and thirteen weeks. Two thousand one hundred and ninety-two days. I am frozen. Lianne grips my hand. I am suddenly awake to reality and slowly peel her fingers off my hand. All the questions are back. Worry is etched on your face.
"Sir? Are you okay?"
I stand up and embrace you because although there is confusion, anger and pain the fact that I have missed you outweighs any other emotion. I hear Lianne stand too and I can imagine the shock on her face mirrors my own. I missed you I whisper. You push me away suddenly and it feels like a stab through my chest.
"What? I think you've mistaken me for someone else."
Confusion runs through me. I do not understand. I look at you and my memories become vivid as if I am reliving them. You are standing right in front me. I have embraced you. You are real. Sakura. It's me I whisper quietly. You're back.
"Sir, I don't know you."
So, that's it. What do you guys think? It's quite different from Chapter 1 and I'm sorry I've left it at a cliff hanger. I've only got bits of ideas on where to go from here atm but I just don't know how to narrate it yet in a way that's somehow cohesive with this chapter and the first one so It might take a while for the next chapter. Thanks again :) Also sorry it's quite short :/
Sorry for any mistakes and once again constructive criticism is always welcome.
-Element 12