Jyushimatsu hadn't smiled once since Todomatsu's suicide.

It was surreal, unnatural. Seeing him without his signature open mouthed smile looked so out of place Ichimatsu almost made mistook him for another brother on more then one occasion. He was sitting next to him now, at Chibita's oden stand along Osomatsu, Karamatsu and Choromatsu, drinking away until their minds refused to function. It was the quick and easy way to get rid of grief, not the best or long-lasting, but he couldn't care less at the moment.

Ichimatsu glanced at his now youngest brother and noticed he hadn't taken a single sip. He was worried about him. It was now two months since Todomatsu's death and although something always felt missing, the brothers had all began to move on in their own ways.

Except Jyushimatsu.

"Oi Chibita get me another bottle would ya?" Osomatsu slurred, head down against the table. Clearly drunk as all hell, not that it ever surprised anyone any more. He'd been drinking a lot more recently. Everybody was well aware of how unhealthy his obsession was becoming, though no one bothered speaking out about. Most likely for good reason.

Chibita sighed, but none the less slid another bottle his way. He'd been a lot softer on the brothers after being told the news, even clearing their tab, saying it was the last thing they should have to worry about at the moment. Ichimatsu was especially grateful for that, considering he was completely broke at the moment. They all were, thanks to Osomatsu's annoying habit of "borrowing" his brothers wallets to fuel his worsening pachinko addiction.

Ichimatsu was becoming sleepy, nodding off as a tipsy Choromatsu rambled about something involving the music industry. He was snapped to his senses an indefinite amount of time later by Jyushimatsu nudging him awake.

"Ichimatsu-niisan we're going home now."

Blinking his baggy eyes, he saw everyone was already up and waiting for him. Well, all except Osomatsu who had completely passed out and was now being carried by Karamatsu who looked at least relatively sober. Ichimatsu slowly blinked his baggy eyes and sluggishly moved from his seat. "Right..." he mumbled, trying to think straight.

After waving goodbye to Chibita, the now quintuplets began their drunken and shaky trip home. Ichimatsu already had a head splitting head ache and could tell tomorrow's hangover was going to be absolute hell. Choromatsu seemed to have found a person to dump his idol bullshit onto in Karamatsu, who just seemed to be happy being talked to, so Ichimatsu and Jyushimatsu hung at the back of the group in silence.

"Uh Jyushimatsu?" he said hesitantly. The younger brother turned his face in his direction with a questioning look.

"Did you want to play baseball again sometime?"

He was trying. He really was, even attempting to put a little enthusiasm in his voice. They hadn't played the game in months, which was a very serious indication something was defiantly wrong, and Ichimatsu was even starting to miss the time they used to spend together.

"No thanks Ichimatsu-niisan, I'm not really feeling it."

The rest of the trip was spent in silence.

The next few days weren't much better. Jyushimatsu had yet to smile, despite Ichimatsu's best efforts. He even pulled a funny face as ridiculous as he felt doing it, just as an attempt to get a laugh. Nothing. Not even a chuckle. Giving a defeated sigh, he gave up trying for the time being and got up to feed the cats. They had already been fed not too long ago, but it was one of the only things he found enjoyment in anymore, just seeing them helped ease the emptiness inside him.

The shrill ring of the phone distracted Ichimatsu from the cats that were affectionately rubbing their fur against him. Surely someone else will get it, he thought to himself, though by the fifth ring it was starting become unlikely. He quickly and clumsily stepped to his feet and made an effort to answer the phone on time, not wanting to leave the caller annoyed. He made it just in time, holding the phone to his ear he answered.

"..Hello?"

"Um, hi... Who is this?" A female voice answered.

"Ichimatsu. Who are you?"

"Oh are you one of Jyushimatsu's brothers? He told me all about you guys! I'm Homura, his um... friend."

Homura? The name didn't sound familiar, but it could be Jyushimatsu had simply forgotten to mention it, which wouldn't be out of the ordinary for him. Could it be this was the weird girl he'd dated briefly all that time ago? Memories of the time they spied on him while on his date invade his mind and a small smile crept on his face. Ichimatsu missed those times of dumb fun. They'd all been there to comfort Jyushimatsu when he returned from saying goodbye, but he convinced them he was fine, and he had been. For a while at least.

"Your the home run girl." He said bluntly. Crap, he really did suck at talking to women.

"Ah yes," she said, letting out a small laugh. "I'm calling because I'm visiting for a short while and I'd really like to see him again. Is he there?"

"No." he said a little too quickly. Jyushimatsu was there, a couple rooms over, but Ichimatsu knew without a doubt he was going to deny her in his state. He wasn't going to let Jyushimatsu fuck this up because of this emotional rut he was stuck in.

"Oh um, well my train arrives tomorrow morning at nine, do you know if he'll be able to make it?"

"He will. Defiantly."

"Really? I mean, that's great! Thank you so much Ichimatsu-kun!"

Ichimatsu felt a smile of his tug at his cheeks once again. Jyushimatsu really is lucky to have a person like her. Now he just has to get him smiling again before then.

"...It's fine, I'll tell him next time I see him."

Their conversation was a pleasant one, spanning a little over twenty minutes. Despite his short responses, Homura managed to do a good job of keeping the talk flowing and preventing things from getting awkward. Ichimatsu mentioned that Jyushimatsu wasn't very happy at the moment, and did his best to avoid informing her the reason, desperately avoiding the topic of brothers in general.

"Thank you again, I have to leave now but I'd love meet you some time as well."

"Yeah... See you." he mumbled.

"See you."

With that they both hung up, the phones click signalling the end of the call. Ichimatsu immediately found his way to the living room, where Jyushimatsu was sitting, seemingly staring into space.

"You've got a date." he declared, taking a seat next to him. Jyushimatsu quickly turned to look at him in surprise. "Huh?"

"With Homura." Ichimatsu felt an ounce of pride at being able to remember the name.

"Homura..." the younger brother repeated softly, then suddenly jumped to his feet. "When? What time?"

"Tomorrow morning at nine." Ichimatsu felt a small sense of relief. It wasn't quite a smile yet, but he was at least taking interest and he'd consider that good progress considering how uncooperative he'd been beforehand.

Jyushimatsu looked at the ground, frowning. "Are you going to go?" Ichimatsu asked hopefully.

"Yeah. I'll go."

Ichimatsu inwardly cheered.

It was the next day, and Ichimatsu eyed the clock anxious for when Jyushimatsu would get home, to hear about how it had went. He seriously hoped Homura had been able to do a better job of cheering him up then himself, after all she seemed like a happy, although slightly shy person. Jyushimatsu had helped her with the same issue before, so hopefully she'd be able to return the favour.

The door slid open, to reveal Jyushimatsu back from his date. Unhappy.

"How did it go?" Ichimatsu was afraid to ask.

"I broke up with her."

Ichimatsu froze. "Wait... You've got to be kidding me?" Jyushimatsu attempted to walk right past him, but Ichimatsu pulled him back, a little to roughly to be good natured.

"You did what?!" he almost shouted, his grasp tightened on his younger brothers arm, so much that it began to cut off the blood circulation.

"N-Niisan you're hurting me." Jyushimatsu whimpered, but it fell on death ears.

"How could you do that?! And after she came all this way to see you for the first time in ages? Why?"

"I-I... Please stop."

Ichimatsu only applied more pressure, boiling with rage. Just when he thought this would be the event to finally cheer his younger brother up again. All he wanted was to see him happy again. That's all he wanted...

"You really think your the only one upset about Todomatsu?!" Before he could even realise what he was doing and saying it was too late to go back. he yanked his brother into the air roughly, maybe he noticed how Jyushimatsu yelped in pain. maybe he didn't. At the moment, red seemed to taint his vision.

"I'm sorry! I-"

"I was the one to see the light fade from his eyes! You realise how that shitty that makes a person feel? How much that can fuck you up? You got it easy, so fucking smile already!"

A drop of liquid fell to ground, and Ichimatsu heard a sniffle. Jyushimatsu finally faced him, tears rolling down his cheeks. His grip loosened, and the younger brother fell to the ground. He stood in silence, in complete shock at what he'd done. No longer being held back Jyushimatsu regained himself, running in fear from his older brother into the other room and slamming the door behind him.

Fear. Ichimatsu had scared him. Jyushimatsu, the one he had always relied on.

Another drop of liquid fell and Ichimatsu realised he himself was crying.

"Brother what happened to your arm?!'

Karamatsu was the first to notice the dark bruises on Jyushimatsu. They were all at the bath house, where the mark was clearly visible against his bare skin. Jyushimatsu looked at the bruise, then back to Karamatsu. "I ran into a wall." he said uncharacteristically coldly.

Ichimatsu almost wanted him to tell the truth, having the brother he was once closest to ignore him completely was hell. "You really need to be more careful Jyushimatsu, It looks pretty bad..." Choromatsu said observing the mark.

"Does it hurt when I poke it?" Osomatsu said jeeringly, then poked it. Jyushimatsu shook his head no and the conversation was dropped. Once they had exited the bath and changed back into their clothes Jyushimatsu announced he had somewhere to be, and parted ways from the group.

The others had quickly dismissed it and waved him goodbye. Chatting amongst each other, Ichimatsu slipped on his sandals and hastily chased after him, ignoring his brothers when they called after him. He followed Jyushimatsu quietly, keeping the distance between them over ten metres and watching from afar, not wanting to alert him of his presence.

He continued to trail after him, before finally arriving at what Ichimatsu assumed was his destination. A train station. There was a glimmer of hope inside him, as he was quick to assume Jyushimatsu was going to visit Homura, however that hope diminished as he walked right past the ticket stand. The area was crowded, and Ichimatsu had to strain his eyes to catch a glimpse of yellow among the grey mass of people. At least it easier to go unnoticed now, he thought to himself before continuing his pursuit.

Then he saw him, Jyushimatsu standing behind the yellow safety line, just staring, seemingly at nothing.

And then he jumped.

Ichimatsu's heart skipped a beat. Maybe two. There was an immediate response from the crowd, one woman even screamed. A train could come at any moment, yet Jyushimatsu seemed completely unphased.

"Get off the tracks you idiot!" Someone yelled from the sidelines. Ichimatsu suddenly couldn't speak. Couldn't move. He felt completely useless once again.
Then it appeared in the far distance. A train.

With a sudden cry he lurched forward towards the tracks. He need to get him out of the machines path. To pull him close and apologise. He'd get ice for the bruise and together they'd visit Todomatsu's grave. He'd be there to comfort him just like he had for him. A hand pulled him back, and all he could hear was screaming and crying and the sound of the roaring train engine.

Blinking his tear filled eyes he looked at Jyushimatsu, the train so close to impact, and noticed before anything else the wide, genuine smile spread across his face as he waved him goodbye. In that moment time appeared to freeze.

The truck made contact, and Ichimatsu world seemed to tear apart around him.

The sickening crack of bones and the coppery scent of blood filled the air as he fell to his knees, sobbing. Ichimatsu didn't want to look, and as soon as he did he regretted it. Red. Red was everywhere. Splattered across the hard concrete and horrified bystanders, it was all he could see. Bile rose in his throat and Ichimatsu resisted the urge to throw up.

The entire Train Station was in panic. Parents shielded their child's eyes from the gruesome sight, people shoved and pushed past each other in complete chaos. Nobody seemed to even notice the purple hooded figure, hunched over in the in the middle of the disaster.

Still processing the nightmarish reality before him only one thought filled his mind.

"I lost another brother, and this time it's all my fault."