Bullet #2 – The Power of Youth

It wasn't long after the incident when Kakuzu and Hidan returned. The zombie brothers could only watch in a mixture of horror, confusion and amusement as a, ahem, newly equipped Deidara ran around the hideout, chasing after Tobi and screaming death threats, in a noticeably higher pitch than usual.

"They act like an old married couple from the fifties," was all Kakuzu had to say about the scene, before trudging down the hallway towards Pein's office to give their mission report.

The Jashinist watched the two for a few more moments (he was mainly watching Deidara but he wasn't going to admit) before he headed towards the living room. He didn't make it into the room, however. Hidan spotted something that looked like a gun from that anime he watches with Tobi (again, something he wasn't going to admit) and he picked it up for closer inspection.

He turned it over in his hands a few times, examining its every curve and crevice. It did look like one of those guns, but it didn't shape shift into one of those green lizard things but he wasn't sure-

"If you're going to stand in the doorway all day, you could at least make yourself useful for once and act as a doorstop," Kakuzu told him as he entered the living room, after having given their Leader their report. "Then again, you'd make a pretty useless doorstop."

"F*CK YOU!" Hidan yelled at him, glaring at his partner's back, trying to burn a hole in his cloak with his eyes. As he clenched his fists, he remembered the weapon in his hands. He smirked as a plan formulated in his mind. If the bullet in that anime made that Tsuna kid stronger, then the bullet in this gun would make him stronger too, right? Strong enough to finish Kakuzu off once and for all, right?

Pointing the gun at his chest, Hidan decided to give it a shot. After all, he was immortal. What was the worst that could happen? He quickly pulled the trigger on the weapon, the force of the bullet knocking him back onto his butt. He swore under his breath before he stood up and looked around.

Strange. Why was everything so big all of a sudden? The Jashinist waddled into the room, an action that confused him more. Usually he was very good at walking. Heck, he was a professional at it! Why was it so hard for him now?

"Ooooh! Look at the baby~!" Konan squealed.

Baby? What baby?

"It… kinda looks like Hidan…" Kisame contemplated, tilting his head at him.

Huh? But he didn't have a child! And why was he looking at him like that?

"I've always wanted a son~!" Konan sang, picking up the Jashinist. "Mommy Konan is going to love you so much that no other woman will ever be good enough for you~! Yes she is~! Oh yes she is~!"

Since when was she able to lift him? And why was she referring herself as his mother… Hidan's violet eyes widened as every piece of the puzzle fell into place. HE was the baby! That gun changed him into a freakin' baby! Oh Jashin… He was going to have to go through puberty again… Still in denial, Hidan ran through a checklist in his mind, to make sure his conclusion was true. Tiny yet adorable hands? Check. Chubby and pinchable cheeks? Check. Diapers that always ponged? No, he didn't have-

"Awww! Someone had a little accident~!"

…Never mind.

Deidara chose that moment to re-enter the living room, smirking in satisfaction at whatever she had just done to Tobi. "Now you be a good boy for Aunty Deidara while Mommy goes and finds a curtain to use as a clean diaper~!" Konan sang, handing the pouting Jashinist to the blonde.

The ex-terrorist wrinkled up her nose at the baby. "He reeks, yeah…" he stated. "And he's kinda ugly too…"

The last comment earned him a thump from Konan. "Don't talk about my child like that!" she scowled as she headed out of the room, stepping over the gun that once again was left forgotten in the hallway.

EXTENDED ENDING

"LET GO OF THOSE YOU LITTLE PERVERT, UN!"

"Figures the brat could only get fondled by a child…"

"DANNA!"