4:30pm
I saw Kittykat walking home blubbing. See seemed to be more upset when I asked her what's going on.
5:30pm
Beating down Kittykat's door. She will not let Jack the Biscuit in. I can only presume it's something I've done.
6:00pm
She's in the sitting room, still crying. I mouthed through the window, "Please let me in."
6:30pm
Finally!
"So, Kittykat, what's the problem?" I ask casually. Her mascara's running, she looks like a clown. I had to hold back a laugh.
"Well," she gulped. Why is Kittykat so nervous to tell me? She's never nervous with me around. Must be because I'm so utterly gorgey...
"You're not at all modest about it are you?" said Kittykat. Bollocks. I didn't realise Kittykat was listening. Mores the point, I didn't know I was saying all that. She's cleverly avoiding talking about why she looks like a clown.
"Kittykat, tell me why you look like a clown. And, while you're at it, why have you got half of Boots makeup on your face?" Kittykat looked completely bemused.
"The luuurve god was supposed to pick moi up from Stalag 14. He didn't turn up, so I thought it was probably the band. That's why there's all the makeup. I didn't see him for most of the journey. Then I heard a rustle in the bush two streets down. I thought Angus had finally got that bloody poodle, so I edged forward carefully. Then I saw him. Hiding behind a bush. Snogging Emma's face off." I thought I was going to explode.
"Georgia, don't be so fucking stupid. Emma wouldn't so that to me. Just because you're fucking jealous. I expected better from you."
"But I've got a..." I cut her off.
"I'm going, Georgia. I don't want to talk to you if all you're going to do is try and split me and Emma up. Bugger off." And with that, I slammed the door.
As Georgia would say, Dave the Unlaugh is back.