Chapter 1
Rock Creek, July 1863
The neighing of a horse in the near distance managed to get though the barrier that sleeplessness and her dreams had built up, but she fought the urge to wake up. Tiredness still numbed her body and she wanted to keep sleeping. Yet, her will was not strong enough and soon her eyes fluttered, but squeezed them shut as she didn't feel ready to join the world of the living. Her mind became aware of the sounds and sensations around her, especially the extra pressure in her now very noticeable middle. Louise let out a groan as she asked a bit too loudly, "Kid, why on earth do you have to wake up so damn early?"
Louise finally opened her eyes to find her husband hovering over her while his hand rested on her belly where their soon-to-be-born baby lay. Lou was familiar with this morning ritual. She always woke up to find him there every single day and to be fair, Lou had to admit that he never really woke her up... he was always very careful not to disturb her. Yet, this last month of her pregnancy was proving to be so hard and uncomfortable that occasionally she found herself venting her frustration on her husband for no reason at all mainly in the mornings.
"Good morning, honey. It's not so early. You know I miss you even when you're asleep." He chuckled as he added, "Lou, if I let you, you'd spend your whole life sleeping."
"Oh yeah?" Lou exclaimed defensively. "If I could sleep soundly as you do, Mister, I wouldn't complain so much."
"A rough night again, honey?" he asked, still caressing her belly and regretting his previous comment.
"I swear, Kid. This baby seems determined to test its ma's strength before even coming to this world," Lou complained as she pushed her body up and propped herself against the headboard.
"Lou, the doctor said that everything's going fine. So if everything goes as planned, we'll have him or her with us very soon."
"Well, I'm more than ready to get it out of my body already," Lou continued in the same whining tone. "You men are so lucky not to suffer all this... not to mention to have your body turn into a shapeless watermelon."
Kid sat up next to her and passing an arm around her shoulders, he added, "I think you're beautiful... the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. And I couldn't wish for a better woman as the mother of my children."
Louise narrowed her eyes in mocked irritation, but her mood was improving with his flattery. "So you've been comparing then?" she couldn't help teasing.
"Oh there's nothing to compare. No other woman could fill your shoes... never ever." He planted a kiss on her cheek, which made her smile pleasantly for the first time that morning and after a moment he added, "And you know you're lucky, Lou. You can feel our baby in ways that I will never be able to."
"Yes... especially during labor," Louise replied, shivering at the thought of the ordeal she would have to go through in about a month. "Forgive me, Kid. I'm just tired of the extra weight and having to worry I'll fall flat on my face at any moment."
"Soon this will be over, honey. You know, I'm so proud of you, and I love you more and more with each passing day."
"I love you too, Kid," she whispered and leaning over, she brushed her lips over her husband's, a kiss that became more intense and passionate. They had been married for almost two years and their love for each other hadn't diminished a bit, but rather the opposite, it had become stronger, more intense, more passionate. They felt more and more in love and could hardly keep their hands off each other. And now that their union was going to be blessed by the birth of their first child, things couldn't get any better.
Lou had announced her husband the good news several months after a very long wait. The first year of their marriage had passed without any changes... and Lou had started to fear that they couldn't have children. Barely a couple of months after their wedding Louise had decided that she wanted them to become parents. Kid had obviously shared her desires and enthusiasm. The couple had tried everything to have the child they both longed for. For months their love-making became less spontaneous and romantic, and more of a routine which they repeated at different times of day every day, hoping to make a baby together. Yet, as every month brought about a barren disappointment, Louise's spirit collapsed.
Kid had kept telling her that they shouldn't get discouraged and needed to keep trying. They had read something about the matter, practiced some rituals from traditional folklore and during some time Lou had even taken some tea made of some mysterious herbal mixture that Rachel had brought her from a pilgrimage. Nothing had worked and Louise had finally agreed to go to the doctor, which is something that she hated. Dr. Harris had told them he found nothing wrong with either of them and there was no reason why they couldn't have as many babies as they wanted.
Despite the doctor's hopeful words and after an agonizing year Lou crept into Kid's lap as he sat by the fireplace one night. He had set aside the book to unbutton his clothes, assuming it was her way of telling him it was yet again time to "perform". But she stopped his hand, rested her head on his shoulder and said, "You know what, Kid? We don't really need children. I'm happy just with you." They had just held each other close there by the fire, letting go of their desperation for a baby. Whatever would be, would be, they both felt.
Calmness had then returned to their home and after those months they had gone back to their old ways. Their marital life became fuller and more enjoyable, and the pressure that they had been under disappeared completely. Not long afterwards, the appointed time came and went without any monthly "visitor" . . . her body started to have slight changes and her senses of smell and taste suddenly became unbearably sensitive. The changes increased over the next few weeks, and she allowed herself the audacity of hope. Finally, she went to Dr. Harris' office with Kid by her side, and the kindly, gruff old doctor smiled as he straightened up from his examination. "See. I told you if you just calmed down, nature would take its course. Congratulations, both of you."
"Well, we'd better get ready for the day," she said as she reluctantly disengaged from her husband's hold and slipped out of their bed. She opened the curtains and stared down at the medium-size property, co-owned with Buck. Nothing made her prouder than witnessing how their dream grew with each passing day. When they had bought the property, they three had been worried that they might not be able to make a living out of their ranch, but their efforts and work had finally paid off. They weren't rolling in money, but they had enough to live on it without too many cares.
Lou started to get out of her nightgown and as she stood clad in just underclothes, she caught Kid staring at her like a hawk. The intensity of his gaze made her embarrassed despite the years they had been together. She thought that in her eighth month of pregnancy she looked completely hideous, swollen and distorted, but Kid still looked at her in the same adoring way as when they had first met. "Come on, Kid," she said, trying to hide her shyness as she continued getting dressed. "Stop gawking at me and get out of that bed."
He chuckled as he finally got up. "Can't help getting distracted when you flaunt your body in front of me," he said as he came behind her and nuzzled her neck.
Despite her own desires, which she was surprised had not abated with her advanced pregnancy but in fact increased, Lou forced herself to get away from him. Quite often they had lingered in the bedroom for their special "good morning" and later they had to bear Buck's teasing and Theresa's and Jeremiah's curious looks. They were the adults in the household and it wasn't right that her siblings were up before they did, which actually was a normal occurrence.
After washing up and getting dressed, Louise walked to the door, urging Kid to hurry up and when she stepped into the hallway, she noticed a soft aroma of coffee wafting in the air. Theresa was already up, Louise thought, silently chastising herself for her tardiness. As fast as her size allowed her, she walked down the stairs and entered the kitchen. "Good morning!" she greeted her sister enthusiastically. Theresa stood before the stove cooking breakfast, and smiled when she saw her sister appear. Louise approached her and said, "Tessie, let me do that. You get ready for school."
Louise made an attempt to grab the spatula, but Theresa swatted her hand off. "There's still plenty of time before I have to go... Lou, let me finish this. Just go and sit."
"Tessie, I'm not sick!" Louise protested.
"I know... you're pregnant and we don't want another scare like last week's, do we?" Theresa replied.
Louise shook her head as she finally sat at the kitchen table. Last week while she was cooking, her expanded belly accidentally brushed against the burner. Luckily, Kid quickly put out the flame before it could cause any serious damage.
"Is Jeremiah up?" Louise asked from her seat at the table as she started shelling the peas she had saved for today's dinner.
"I sent him for eggs," Theresa explained as she took the coffeepot from the stove and left it on the table next to the cups. Lou smiled her thanks and poured herself a cup. As Theresa resumed her cooking, Lou kept watching her sister with genuine admiration. At twelve Tessie was already a little woman who managed in the house better than Lou did, and one day she was going to make a man very happy. However, Lou knew that her little sister had other prospects. Rachel was always saying that Theresa was the most intelligent student in her school and she could do whatever she wanted in life. Louise had talked to Kid about her expectations about her sister. Theresa had the aptitude to become a teacher, a nurse or even a doctor one day. Some time ago Lou had read an article about Elizabeth Blackwell, the first woman who had graduated from medical school and she could envision her sister following in her the footsteps of that first female doctor. Kid agreed with his wife's plans and they were already saving money for Theresa's education.
Unlike his sister, Jeremiah wasn't very keen on schooling or books. Louise had fought with him on a daily basis for the last year since he kept saying that he didn't need to learn all that stuff at school and all he wanted was to work on the ranch. Lou knew that her brother loved horses and working with them as much as she did, but she had been adamant about him completing his basic education. Now that he had finished school, he worked on the ranch full time and seemed to be happy about it. Lou had to admit that her brother at fourteen was not a child anymore and had taken his responsibilities on the ranch very seriously.
Soon the family was enjoying the breakfast Theresa had prepared while they talked cheerfully. They hadn't finished eating when there was a knock at the kitchen door and as Kid called 'come in', it opened and Buck came in, followed by Jennifer Tompkins.
"Good morning, lovebirds," Kid greeted them with a teasing grin.
"Kid, stop it!" Louise scolded her husband and turning to the young woman, she added, "Please Jen, have a seat and make yourself at home. Would you like some breakfast?"
"Thank you, Lou," Buck replied instead of the young woman, sitting down. "I wouldn't say no to a cup of coffee. Thanks for asking. You're really the personification of kindness."
Louise stuck her tongue out at him and exclaimed, "I don't need to invite you, Mr. Cross, since you're here all the time anyways."
Theresa hurried to serve two cups of coffee for the couple while the adults laughed at the gentle banter. When they were enjoying the hot beverage, Kid asked, "So what brings you two here so early this morning? Or did you just have a really late night?"
"Kid..." Lou chastised him again.
"Honey, he's been teasing us relentlessly for almost two years... even longer than that, since we started courting in our Pony Express days, so I reckon it's our time now, ain't it?"
Louise smiled at her husband's explanation and replied with a mischievous smile, "Yeah... you're right."
Buck and Jennifer had to laugh at their friends' comments and after sharing a knowing look with the blonde girl, Buck said, "Well, folks, Jenny and I came here today to announce something." Louise smiled, having strong suspicions about what her friend was talking about. After a brief lapse Buck continued, "Last night I proposed to Jennifer and she accepted."
The news was followed by a chorus of congratulating words and whoops as all the family came to hug the engaged couple. When the excitement calmed down, Louise asked, "So when's the wedding then?"
"Next June," Jennifer replied, sharing a loving look with her fiancé.
"Next June!" Lou exclaimed almost in shock. "That's almost a year from now!"
"Yeah, I know, but my father said that we should still get to know each other before taking the big step, and all these months will help us to see if this is what we really want."
"Oh for goodness' sake!" Lou exclaimed again. "You've been courting for months now and it isn't as if you didn't know each other before." Jennifer and Buck had been corresponding for many months until the girl had decided to leave the East and come to live with her father. Back in Rock Creek they had continued the friendship that they had started years ago when the Pony Express was still running. A few months later that friendship had turned into deep, mutual love and Buck had begun courting Jennifer. Mr. Tompkins, who had had hopes that his daughter would end up with one of the local boys, had frowned on their romance. Tompkins had never liked Buck because of his heritage, but he knew he would only push his independent-minded daughter into Buck's arms faster. So he had reluctantly accepted that Jennifer and Buck were more than friends only because he didn't want to lose her. He insisted on a long engagement because he still did not approve, and hoped that something would change his daughter's mind.
"Well, Lou, I'm not going to discuss Jenny's father's opinions," Buck replied. "We're glad that he hasn't forbidden our plans outright and after all a year isn't than much time. Those months will be enough for me to build a proper house for me and Jenny." Buck now lived in a little cottage on the ranch. When the three friends had bought the property, the Kiowa had insisted that his friends took the already built house since he was a single man and didn't need a lot of space to live in. So he had taken the cottage where the previous owners' foreman had his lodgings. Yet, now that he was going to be a married man he would extend that little house and make it as comfortable as possible for his wife-to-be.
"I don't know if I'd have the patience. In your case, I would seriously consider eloping with my man and getting married in secret," Louise remarked.
"Yes, honey, you've never been very patient," Kid added with a smile. "At least I am patient enough for the two of us."
"Yeah..." Lou rejoined ironically. "If it had been up to you, decades would have passed before we ..." The words died in her lips as she noticed the intent looks of her siblings and she rectified in time, "uh... before we got married."
"Honey, you know I'd wait for you ten years, twenty, or a lifetime if I had to," Kid said as he reached for her hand. "Your love is worth that and more."
Louise smiled softly as she blushed at the declaration of her husband before the others. The moment was interrupted by Buck's clear voice, which of course didn't miss the chance to retaliate for his friend's previous teasing, "Okay, lover boy, you might wait all you want, but work can't. So if you're done sweet-talking your wife, let's get a move on."
The married couple turned crimson as the others exchanged amused grins. Lou and Jennifer walked to the door with their men. They had a delivery and even though they'd be back early in the afternoon, Lou felt she already missed him. Theresa picked up her books and slate, and giving a kiss to her sister, she left the school in a cheerful mood. Jeremiah continued towards the stables while Kid and Buck remained to bid their girls good-bye. As Lou stood under the threshold of her door, Kid walked up to her. "You take care while I'm away, all right?" he said as he brushed her cheek with the back of his hand.
"Jenny's staying with me... you don't have to worry."
"Yeah, but I can't help it."
"I'll be fine... we are fine," Lou assured him once again, caressing her protruded belly softly.
The couple stared into each other's eyes in silence for a few moments and then he lowered his head towards hers, meeting her lips in a soft, long kiss. Louise clasped her hands behind his neck as her mouth kept showing her love for him. When they pulled away, neither said a word, and with a sigh Kid simply walked away towards the stables after Buck. A moan escaped Lou's mouth as she watched her husband and only when he disappeared inside the building, she noticed Jennifer next to her. "You know something, Lou? I hope Buck and I get to have what you and Kid have. It's so refreshing to see you together."
Louise smiled her thanks to her words sheepishly, feeling happy and proud of her family and the future they had ahead. Getting there hadn't been easy at all, and they had learned the hard way they couldn't take anything for granted. Every day was a challenge, a test, a myriad of possibilities, but Lou had to admit that she didn't want her life any other way. She wanted it all... the problems, the hard work, the daily headaches... everything. For this reason fear invaded her soul from time to time, thinking that this good, smooth streak couldn't last too long for her. She was used to being struck by bad luck since she had been a young child and her heart now told her that some misfortune was lurking in the dark waiting for the moment to strike them. Kid always told her that was just nonsense, and she knew he was right, but years of misery had taken their toll on her. All she needed to do was to learn to enjoy what she had and ignore the ominous feelings that kept bothering her.