The Awakening

Chapter Two: The Wish

The wish is father to the thought.

- English proverb

Anchorhead was nothing more than an outpost on the desert frontier. It consisted of a few weatherworn metal and stone structures bleached white by the glaze of the suns. They were huddled together for what little protection and company could be gained against the planet's elements and inhabitants. Overall, the scene was quite depressing, even to a seasoned native like me.

This occasion was no different as I parked my landspeeder in front of Tosche station. The only appeal Anchorhead held for me was near that building. Luckily, no one else was there to intrude.

In the twilight, I recognized Biggs' burly form. He sported a precision-cut uniform that enhanced his natural swarthiness. This almost perfectly blended him in among the shadows. Even so, I could discern the warm smile unfolding on his face when he caught sight of me.

"Biggs," I breathed.

All the swirling emotion I was experiencing was put into that dear name. Nonetheless, it didn't seem enough to adequately express them. That was the problem with spoken words; they never properly represented that which could be done better with actions.

Thus, I sprinted the brief distance between us into his waiting arms. We clung onto each other as if our lives depended on it.

"Luke told me you would come," Biggs finally murmured, propping his chin on top of my dark head.

"Well, why wouldn't I, Biggs?"

"None that I can think of us." Biggs chuckled. "I would've paid a call on you anyway. Even if I had to break down the front door to get to you."

"I can imagine my parents' reaction to that." I giggled.

"Never mind them." Biggs stooped down, an intent expression in his ebony eyes. My breath grew shallower as he kissed the palms of my rough hands. "Tonight belongs to us."

He led me to the side of the power station. We'd be out of the way enough for anyone, namely that malicious Camie, not to observe our private exchange, yet not too far away from the settlement itself, since the Tusken Raiders had been getting bolder lately and were attacking even the outskirts of Anchorhead.

Tusken Raiders, or Sand People, as they're more commonly called by the moisture farmers, are brutal, wild beings encased in endless mummylike swathings, bandages, and pieces of cloth to protect themselves from solar radiation. They congregate in small numbers in forlorn regions, preferring to attack little, isolated settlements in order to satisfy their greed and perniciousness. The most efficient and swift tools with which to accomplish their pillaging are the double-edged ax known as a Gaderffi stick and the bantha, a great shaggy, horned beast. With the Gaderffi stick, they cleave your skull in half and make off with your possessions strapped on the back of banthas, riding single file so no one could surmise the strength of their forces.

If you were captured instead, your future would be dim indeed. Sand People's approach to inflicting suffering rivals even Imperial torture tactics. The most infamous of these are the sacrificial bloodletting for their clan rituals.

But all of that was pushed into the farthest recesses of my mind at this moment as I cried, unable to restrain my excitement any longer, "I heard you graduated with honors and received a commission! Biggs, I am so proud of you!"

"Luke's got a big mouth," Biggs complained wryly, adding emphatically, "I warned him about that."

"Hey, you've really done a wonderful job," I insisted softly.

I threw my arms around him in an enormous, impulsive hug. Biggs stiffened in response. Perplexed, I pulled away and inspected his face. The turmoil there revealed something awry.

"What is it?" I asked, concerned.

Biggs sighed. "A lot has happened," he replied enigmatically, shifting his stance uneasily.

"I don't understand. Aren't you going to have a…" My voice trailed off, the question hanging heavily in the air between us.

"Yes, I have a post," Biggs acknowledged after a few seconds' pause. "I'm scheduled to work as the first mate of this merchant ship called the Rand Ecliptic."

"Well, what's wrong with that?" I questioned forcefully. "You should be happy. It appears an excellent opportunity has presented itself to you."

"No, it's not, Carithlee," Biggs inveighed.

The sheer violence of his outburst stunned me into silence. Biggs devil-may-care attitude, the very thing that had initially attracted him to me, seemed to have undergone a drastic transformation during his year at the Academy. What could have happened?

"Biggs, what the hell are you talking about?" I demanded quietly, crossing my arms.

Furtively Biggs scanned the area around us for any encroachers. Seeing none, he searched my own face, trying to determine if he should divulge his secret to me. Recalling Luke's marked solemnity after his own visit with Biggs, I suspected he already knew it.

"Please tell me, Biggs," I prodded, my heart beating rapidly.

Biggs was silent, contemplating something for a few minutes. Then he cleared his throat and began. "I've met people at the Academy, and we've been talking about the way things are developing throughout the Empire. You'd be appalled at the outrages being committed. I myself havewitnessed manyof them. We've agreed that the Empire is slowly rotting within itself and that something must be done."

Over the years, I'd gleaned similar tales of alleged Imperial atrocities. I disregarded them, citing the whole lot as hearsay. For all I knew, the accounts were the handiwork of the disgruntled. Certainly no one I'd ever encountered could back up the claims with facts.

Now Biggs was declaring that the rumors could actually be confirmed. He sounded so convincing that I wondered if there was a horrible grain of truth in them.

"Carithlee, as soon as I get aboard the Rand Ecliptic, I'm going to jump ship and join the Rebel Alliance," Biggs whispered, his eyes blazing ardently.

I stared at him, my mouth gaping open in astonishment. It was one matter to voice concerns about the running of the Empire, but to defect? To throw away all he's earned for an uncertain future with the Rebels? Couldn't he grasp the immensity of the odds against him?

"You're crazy," I protested anxiously. "Biggs, you can't do that. Consider what you'll have to give up." I furiously wracked my brain for more logic to sway him with. "Besides, the probability of finding a real Rebel cell is next to none. If it were easier, the Empire would've crushed the Rebellion years ago. You'll sooner end up in that awful Imperial prison on Kessel where you mine spice until you go blind-"

Biggs stilled my ranting by placing his hands on either side of my face. "I know it's a long shot," he admitted reluctantly, "but if I can't make contact with the Rebels…" The newfound maturity and determination in his eyes made me tremble. "…then I'll do what I can on my own, Carithlee."

Damn him. I could relate to Biggs' risk-taking all too well. In spite of the expectations heaped onto us by other people, we both still had our own aspirations, and seemingly impossible ones at that. How could I condemn Biggs without condemning myself?

"Life really catches up with us, doesn't it?" I remarked hoarsely, smiling ruefully. "One moment we're racing each other through Beggar's Canyon without a care in the galaxy, the next you're going to become a Rebel with all the cares of the galaxy on your shoulders."

As always, Biggs saw through my brave front. "I'm going to miss you, too, Carithlee," he said in a husky voice, gently drawing me toward him.

Biting my lip hard, I simply leaned into Biggs' embrace, not quite trusting myself to speak. The depths of what I felt for this man still managed to blow me away. Unfortunately, I'd lacked the courage or even the bravado to utter these emotions aloud to him. Now that I was seeing Biggs for what was probably the last time, I was especially swept up in its momentum.

Gazing up at my boyfriend, I could discern the sadness vividly reflected in his dark eyes. I knew his decision to join the Alliance was tearing him in two different directions: those loyalties that belonged to his convictions and those that belonged to his friends and family. In an ideal galaxy, Biggs could remain true to both, but we lived in an Imperial galaxy instead; there was no middle ground here. He had to completely sever ties with one side in order to fully follow the other. This was why Biggs had returned to Tatooine: to finish up the breaking-off process that must've started the moment he'd left for the Academy.

A burst of desolation washed over me, and I let my shoulders slump. Tears welled up in my eyes, threatening to spill out. However, before my resolve could further weaken, I gulped back my tears and straightened my back. There would always be time later on for feeling sorry for myself. I couldn't afford to waste the precious few moments that I presently had with Biggs.

Biggs seemed to have a similar frame of mind, for he bent down and brushed his lips against mine. I closed my eyes tightly and deepened the kiss, feeling his mustache tickle my upper lip lightly. Although this wasn't our first kiss as a couple, it certainly was every bit as explosive.

Our kisses progressed from slow and searching to quick and passionate. I soon felt like I couldn't catch my breath, yet I couldn't bear to break away from Biggs. I clutched at the fabric of his shirt, half to steady myself, half to reassure myself that he wasn't a figment of my imagination.

Finally, Biggs pulled back a little, still holding my shoulders. "Wow," he mumbled, breathless. "That got kind of intense."

I couldn't quite answer. My blood was racing, my pulse pounding.

My boyfriend's cheeks glowed as he reached over and clumsily smoothed my hair back. "You've sort of come undone," he informed me, his voice deep and slightly shaky.

Blushing, I became dimly aware of my rumpled appearance. I stepped back and straightened my brown tunic, then took a moment to undo my topknot and redo it again. All the while, I knew Biggs was watching me, and I flushed an even deeper shade of crimson.

"I guess we pulled off a public display of affection worthy of Fixer and Camie," I joked in an effort to lighten the thick tension of the moment. For good measure, I forced a smirk to creep into my features.

Camie and Fixer had been going out ever since we'd entered our teenage years. They'd always been hot and heavy with each other, even in front of the rest of us. Even though Windy and Deak didn't mind too much, Biggs, Luke, and I begged to differ. Given their behavior, we supposed that it'd only a matter of time before the shotgun wedding would occur.

"Nah, we did it in the dark behind a building," Biggs pointed out, laughing. He leaned against the side of Tosche station. "That's not Camie and Fixer's style. They'd go one step further by taking it to the streets in broad daylight."

Shrugging, I joined him along the wall. "They've had plenty of time to perfect that technique," I retorted, shaking my head knowingly.

The light mood passed, and we both fell silent for a while, each lost in our own contemplations. At last I turned to face Biggs, lacing my fingers through his right hand.

"It's been such a long year without you here, Biggs," I remarked. "Everything's been so much quieter and just…more boring."

Biggs smiled ruefully. "You know, it's funny how I swore to myself a year ago that I wouldn't waste another thought on Tatooine once I left for the Academy, yet…damn it, this useless pile of rock and sand is the only home I've ever known, and well…I'm actually going to miss it, because you and Luke will still be here."

"You don't know the half of it, Biggs!" I burst out in a heated voice.

He grinned, a glimmer of his happy-go-lucky self shining through. "Trust me, Luke already gave me the basic run-down, but I'd be happy to listen to your version," he urged me.

I found myself wondering where to begin.

& & &

The twin suns were barely commencing their ascent across the sky as I journeyed home in my landspeeder. I concentrated on my night with Biggs and not on the painful parting that morning, although it was extremely hard to do. An occasional tear would well up and course its way down my cheeks. The desert air evaporated them quickly, a terrible reminder of the reality I had to return to.

During that evening with Biggs, I'd related to him my frustrations and fears in respect to my unchanging fate. He'd encouraged me to follow my dreams. That it was absolutely imperative to figure out my priorities.

The counsel left me more desperate than ever. Something had to give, or Tatooine would suck the very soul from me. I would be existing to fulfill my obligations to that slave of a farm, nothing else.

I couldn't bear to let that occur. If my family wasn't going to bestow their blessings for my wishes, I would take matters into my own hands. Like Biggs, I was going to jump this planet one way or another.