Thank-you to April, Relic, Chesa, and Autumn for encouragement!! And RAVEN
for the name... And the ones that reviewed ages ago when I first wrote this. :P
"Mr. Bon Jovi, you're needed on the set. Filming's about to start in five minutes."
"All right, be right there!" Checking the mirror one last time to make sure his outfit was right, Jon ran a hand through his blonde hair before making his way out of the trailer. He was shooting his new movie in Red Bank, New Jersey, right by his own home, and constantly smiled at the thought of not having to be far away from his family.
"Ah, Jon! Good, we're all set for you. You're co-star is already in place. We'll start with your line, then go from there, alright?" the director, Elisabeth Albrecht, informed Jon. Her coworkers knew her as 'Mayhem' because of her temper and interesting way to work with the cast. She massaged her forehead with several fingers, already uptight from the beginning of the day. So far they'd lost two hours of filming time due to lighting problems, the caterer never showed up so they had to make a trip to the local Dunkin' Donuts, and the imported chocolate from Germany that she always carried around had been eaten 'accidentally' by another crew member.
"Which line are we starting with?" Jon asked, his attention wavering from the director to the huge crowd that had formed around the supposedly closed-off street.
"This one, Jon," Mayhem answered hurriedly, pointing to the script. "Got it?" She did not have the patience for this today.
"Got it," Jon answered. He took one last look at the script before looking up to see his co-star already in position.
"We'll be ready to go in about two minutes," Mayhem announced before heading over to yell at another crew member. "What the hell are you doing with that!" she screamed.
Ignoring Mayhem's mood, Jon smiled at his co-star. "Hi there, good-lookin'."
"Jon," Kit smiled. "So good to see you here on time," she teased. She flipped her long, brown hair behind her shoulders, her deep green eyes twinkling as she smiled at him.
Grinning, Jon bowed slightly. "I try," he answered simply. "I see our director is in one of her moods again."
Kit laughed. "Always a pleasure to witness those. Remember your lines this time?"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, this time I remember them… I hope."
"All right! Places! Come on people! We're wasting valuable time!" Mayhem shouted.
"Here we go," Jon grinned.
****
"Fuck, Silent Bob, you suck as a navigator," Jay whined. "This can't be the way to that damned house."
Shrugging as a response, Silent Bob kept walking, ignoring Jay and his ranting over each car that passed them with girls inhabiting the vehicle.
Secretly Silent Bob decided that pissing Jay off would be his mission, instead of waking up Dante right away, and so he set a new course for Main Street in Red Bank.
"That bitch wanted me. Fuck, that whole car of bitches wanted me!" Jay shouted at the street.
Rolling his eyes, Silent Bob wondered if any chick would ever want to take on Jay and his ramblings. Hell, the boy never had as second date in his life, yet he never got the hint.
He lit up another cigarette as he turned the corner, eyes widening at the unexpected crowd blocking his way.
"What the shit is this?" Jay yelled. "Outta my way!" He pushed his way through the crowd, Silent Bob following him, shrugging his shoulders as an apology to the numerous annoyed onlookers.
Jay hated not knowing what was going on, which unfortunately for the poor boy happened quite a lot, what with all the weed he toked. "What the fuck is this shit?" As soon as he called that out, he turned to see a rather fine-looking girl, and winked at her. "Hey there, babe."
The tall girl with long black hair and grey eyes smiled at him. "Hey handsome," she replied, biting her lip slightly.
"What's your name?" Jay asked coyly.
"Lynn, but all my friends call me Chesa, as in the luscious body of water, the Chesapeake," she winked.
"Oh, sexy… my name's Jay." He flashed her a smile he knew drove his women mad while he checked out her obvious curves. "And behind me is my hetero lifemate, Silent Bob." As he pointed, Silent Bob nodded before taking another drag. "Mind tellin' me what's going on?"
"They're shooting a movie over by Jack's Music Shop," Chesa explained, positioning herself better to show off those curves of hers. "Bon Jovi's supposed to be there, but the crowd's a little too big for me to see," she pouted.
"Hell, a big crowd never stopped me before." He held out his hand to the girl, who took it readily. "Follow me, sweet cheeks."
Silent Bob watched Jay act rather regal to this girl. Obviously he wanted to get in her pants and he thought his patented Jay charm would work wonders. He really has no clue sometimes… Ass. This Chesa girl seemed different from the regular girls Jay went after – she seemed like she actually had some brains. Though, he had to take points off for her going after Jay first. I mean, come on, what girl wouldn't want a silent knight like Silent Bob?
The three sifted through the crowd, Jay shouting obscenities, Chesa never taking her eyes off of Jay, and Silent Bob still shrugging his way through the crowd.
"Move the fuck outta my way! Jesus!" Jay screamed as he pushed people aside.
He smiled at Chesa, nodding his head slowly as if to say 'That's how it's done.' Once they were at the front of the crowd, and the people around them were about to start chucking cans at Jay's head, they came across a security guard.
"Keep it down over there," he snarled and motioned to the scene behind him. Jon and Kit were right in the middle of scene, and Jay's ranting and raving was beginning to get on the crowd's nerves.
"Don't fuckin' tell me what to do!" Jay shouted. He looked back at Chesa, as if he wanted to get approval for his bold maneuver. She in turn blew him a kiss. Grinning, Jay turned back just in time to come face to face with the security guard.
"Either keep it quiet or I'll have you removed from the premises."
"Fuck. I have a right to stand here if I fucking want to," Jay countered.
"And I have a right to see you removed from here," he stated.
"Shit, this ain't worth it. C'mon." Jay motioned for Chesa and Silent Bob to follow him away from the security guard.
"But, Jay, how am I gonna see Bon Jovi now?" Chesa whined, throwing him the most irresistible pout she could come up with.
"Right this way, sugar lips," he answered. He didn't live in Red Bank and not know his way around it…er, okay, so he lived in Red Bank and knew most of the back alleys thanks to his job, but the rest of Red Bank… that was up to Silent Bob to know about. Taking her hand, Jay led the three into an alleyway a few stores down from Jack's Music Shop.
"So you a local girl? I never saw you around before," Jay commented.
"Oh, I just moved to town from L.A.," Chesa stated. With my boyfriend, or soon to be ex… I hope, she continued silently. How she had come to loathe Oscar, her boyfriend. He made a horrible lover, and if she had to yell out 'Oh Oscar no one does it like you' one more time, she was going to physically hurt him.
Bob tapped on his shoulder. Jay was leading them right onto the set. This was not the best plan Jay had ever had. Like he ever had a good one.
"Not now, Bob," Jay spat. He turned his attention back to Chesa. "So, would you do a guy on the first date? Cause I heard girls from L.A. were easy."
"Oh Jay, not all Cali girls will fuck you on the first night. Some have morals and need to actually like the guy. Take me for instance," Chesa explained.
"Oh, and what does a sexy chick like you say about fucking me on the first night?" Jay grinned.
"I'd say you need to find us someplace private-like," Chesa flirted.
Silent Bob tapped Jay again, but it was too far gone thinking of how he was going to get some later. He tapped him harder on the shoulder, and was about to stop them in their tracks, but it was too late. Jay had led them directly onto the set, and right in front of Jack's Music Shop where Kit and Bon Jovi were taping a scene.
"What the hell! Who are you! And what the hell are you doing on my set?! CUT!" Mayhem screamed.
All the lights that were originally intended for Kit and Bon Jovi were pointed at the three intruders, and all three stopped dead in their tracks.
"We come in peace!" Jay yelled and held up the Vulcan sign he had seen on an old rerun of Star Trek.
Mayhem stormed over to them while her cast members casually made their way over to the donut table for an unscheduled break.
"How the fuck did you get on my closed set?" she demanded to know.
"Well, we walked from…" Jay started to say but was cut off by one angry director.
"No shit, you walked. And here I thought you had flown in," she growled, not amused. Then something occurred to her. Stepping back, Mayhem looked at Jay and Silent Bob and studied their profiles.
"This just might work," she mused. "You two ever do work in front of a camera before?"
"Well, there was this one time this chick taped us fucking…" Jay explained.
"No, not that kind of camera work," Mayhem shook her head. "Listen, you are going to be in this movie, or, I can have you arrested for trespassing. You decide."
Jay had totally forgotten about the original mission they were sent on. Something about waking up Dante, but for what, he wasn't sure anymore. "So, this would mean, money, right?" he questioned, raising a brow as Silent Bob did the same, nodding his head vigorously.
"Then it's set. Um, you, what's your name?" Mayhem asked the girl with them.
"Chesa,"
"Ah, Chesa, you stand over there, away from the cameras so I can get these boys in position. And you two… come with me," she instructed.
"Mr. Bon Jovi, you're needed on the set. Filming's about to start in five minutes."
"All right, be right there!" Checking the mirror one last time to make sure his outfit was right, Jon ran a hand through his blonde hair before making his way out of the trailer. He was shooting his new movie in Red Bank, New Jersey, right by his own home, and constantly smiled at the thought of not having to be far away from his family.
"Ah, Jon! Good, we're all set for you. You're co-star is already in place. We'll start with your line, then go from there, alright?" the director, Elisabeth Albrecht, informed Jon. Her coworkers knew her as 'Mayhem' because of her temper and interesting way to work with the cast. She massaged her forehead with several fingers, already uptight from the beginning of the day. So far they'd lost two hours of filming time due to lighting problems, the caterer never showed up so they had to make a trip to the local Dunkin' Donuts, and the imported chocolate from Germany that she always carried around had been eaten 'accidentally' by another crew member.
"Which line are we starting with?" Jon asked, his attention wavering from the director to the huge crowd that had formed around the supposedly closed-off street.
"This one, Jon," Mayhem answered hurriedly, pointing to the script. "Got it?" She did not have the patience for this today.
"Got it," Jon answered. He took one last look at the script before looking up to see his co-star already in position.
"We'll be ready to go in about two minutes," Mayhem announced before heading over to yell at another crew member. "What the hell are you doing with that!" she screamed.
Ignoring Mayhem's mood, Jon smiled at his co-star. "Hi there, good-lookin'."
"Jon," Kit smiled. "So good to see you here on time," she teased. She flipped her long, brown hair behind her shoulders, her deep green eyes twinkling as she smiled at him.
Grinning, Jon bowed slightly. "I try," he answered simply. "I see our director is in one of her moods again."
Kit laughed. "Always a pleasure to witness those. Remember your lines this time?"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, this time I remember them… I hope."
"All right! Places! Come on people! We're wasting valuable time!" Mayhem shouted.
"Here we go," Jon grinned.
"Fuck, Silent Bob, you suck as a navigator," Jay whined. "This can't be the way to that damned house."
Shrugging as a response, Silent Bob kept walking, ignoring Jay and his ranting over each car that passed them with girls inhabiting the vehicle.
Secretly Silent Bob decided that pissing Jay off would be his mission, instead of waking up Dante right away, and so he set a new course for Main Street in Red Bank.
"That bitch wanted me. Fuck, that whole car of bitches wanted me!" Jay shouted at the street.
Rolling his eyes, Silent Bob wondered if any chick would ever want to take on Jay and his ramblings. Hell, the boy never had as second date in his life, yet he never got the hint.
He lit up another cigarette as he turned the corner, eyes widening at the unexpected crowd blocking his way.
"What the shit is this?" Jay yelled. "Outta my way!" He pushed his way through the crowd, Silent Bob following him, shrugging his shoulders as an apology to the numerous annoyed onlookers.
Jay hated not knowing what was going on, which unfortunately for the poor boy happened quite a lot, what with all the weed he toked. "What the fuck is this shit?" As soon as he called that out, he turned to see a rather fine-looking girl, and winked at her. "Hey there, babe."
The tall girl with long black hair and grey eyes smiled at him. "Hey handsome," she replied, biting her lip slightly.
"What's your name?" Jay asked coyly.
"Lynn, but all my friends call me Chesa, as in the luscious body of water, the Chesapeake," she winked.
"Oh, sexy… my name's Jay." He flashed her a smile he knew drove his women mad while he checked out her obvious curves. "And behind me is my hetero lifemate, Silent Bob." As he pointed, Silent Bob nodded before taking another drag. "Mind tellin' me what's going on?"
"They're shooting a movie over by Jack's Music Shop," Chesa explained, positioning herself better to show off those curves of hers. "Bon Jovi's supposed to be there, but the crowd's a little too big for me to see," she pouted.
"Hell, a big crowd never stopped me before." He held out his hand to the girl, who took it readily. "Follow me, sweet cheeks."
Silent Bob watched Jay act rather regal to this girl. Obviously he wanted to get in her pants and he thought his patented Jay charm would work wonders. He really has no clue sometimes… Ass. This Chesa girl seemed different from the regular girls Jay went after – she seemed like she actually had some brains. Though, he had to take points off for her going after Jay first. I mean, come on, what girl wouldn't want a silent knight like Silent Bob?
The three sifted through the crowd, Jay shouting obscenities, Chesa never taking her eyes off of Jay, and Silent Bob still shrugging his way through the crowd.
"Move the fuck outta my way! Jesus!" Jay screamed as he pushed people aside.
He smiled at Chesa, nodding his head slowly as if to say 'That's how it's done.' Once they were at the front of the crowd, and the people around them were about to start chucking cans at Jay's head, they came across a security guard.
"Keep it down over there," he snarled and motioned to the scene behind him. Jon and Kit were right in the middle of scene, and Jay's ranting and raving was beginning to get on the crowd's nerves.
"Don't fuckin' tell me what to do!" Jay shouted. He looked back at Chesa, as if he wanted to get approval for his bold maneuver. She in turn blew him a kiss. Grinning, Jay turned back just in time to come face to face with the security guard.
"Either keep it quiet or I'll have you removed from the premises."
"Fuck. I have a right to stand here if I fucking want to," Jay countered.
"And I have a right to see you removed from here," he stated.
"Shit, this ain't worth it. C'mon." Jay motioned for Chesa and Silent Bob to follow him away from the security guard.
"But, Jay, how am I gonna see Bon Jovi now?" Chesa whined, throwing him the most irresistible pout she could come up with.
"Right this way, sugar lips," he answered. He didn't live in Red Bank and not know his way around it…er, okay, so he lived in Red Bank and knew most of the back alleys thanks to his job, but the rest of Red Bank… that was up to Silent Bob to know about. Taking her hand, Jay led the three into an alleyway a few stores down from Jack's Music Shop.
"So you a local girl? I never saw you around before," Jay commented.
"Oh, I just moved to town from L.A.," Chesa stated. With my boyfriend, or soon to be ex… I hope, she continued silently. How she had come to loathe Oscar, her boyfriend. He made a horrible lover, and if she had to yell out 'Oh Oscar no one does it like you' one more time, she was going to physically hurt him.
Bob tapped on his shoulder. Jay was leading them right onto the set. This was not the best plan Jay had ever had. Like he ever had a good one.
"Not now, Bob," Jay spat. He turned his attention back to Chesa. "So, would you do a guy on the first date? Cause I heard girls from L.A. were easy."
"Oh Jay, not all Cali girls will fuck you on the first night. Some have morals and need to actually like the guy. Take me for instance," Chesa explained.
"Oh, and what does a sexy chick like you say about fucking me on the first night?" Jay grinned.
"I'd say you need to find us someplace private-like," Chesa flirted.
Silent Bob tapped Jay again, but it was too far gone thinking of how he was going to get some later. He tapped him harder on the shoulder, and was about to stop them in their tracks, but it was too late. Jay had led them directly onto the set, and right in front of Jack's Music Shop where Kit and Bon Jovi were taping a scene.
"What the hell! Who are you! And what the hell are you doing on my set?! CUT!" Mayhem screamed.
All the lights that were originally intended for Kit and Bon Jovi were pointed at the three intruders, and all three stopped dead in their tracks.
"We come in peace!" Jay yelled and held up the Vulcan sign he had seen on an old rerun of Star Trek.
Mayhem stormed over to them while her cast members casually made their way over to the donut table for an unscheduled break.
"How the fuck did you get on my closed set?" she demanded to know.
"Well, we walked from…" Jay started to say but was cut off by one angry director.
"No shit, you walked. And here I thought you had flown in," she growled, not amused. Then something occurred to her. Stepping back, Mayhem looked at Jay and Silent Bob and studied their profiles.
"This just might work," she mused. "You two ever do work in front of a camera before?"
"Well, there was this one time this chick taped us fucking…" Jay explained.
"No, not that kind of camera work," Mayhem shook her head. "Listen, you are going to be in this movie, or, I can have you arrested for trespassing. You decide."
Jay had totally forgotten about the original mission they were sent on. Something about waking up Dante, but for what, he wasn't sure anymore. "So, this would mean, money, right?" he questioned, raising a brow as Silent Bob did the same, nodding his head vigorously.
"Then it's set. Um, you, what's your name?" Mayhem asked the girl with them.
"Chesa,"
"Ah, Chesa, you stand over there, away from the cameras so I can get these boys in position. And you two… come with me," she instructed.