That breath you took before? Make it deeper.
Guts
Drip.
Drop.
I've been hearing the same goddamn thing for an hour now. My faucet is loose.
Drop.
That sound aggravates the hell out of me and I can't do anything about it.
Laying on my bed, my feet up against the wall in the air. My pillows covering my face and I can still hear it.
Drip.
Drip.
"Son of a BITCH."
I bang my feet against the wall, start groaning and humming but I couldn't get the sound out of my head. The dripping didn't start till last night. I assume it's the trigger to my anger pains of the day.
Scritch.
Scratch.
My nails kneed into my skin as I feel my chest tighten. I squeeze my eyes shut and push my pillow as hard as I can against my face.
Then I scream. I scream harder then I have in a while.
These past few weeks have been hell for me, its time the anger somewhat leaked out of my system.
The anklet was scratching my skin in a horrible way so I start hitting my heel where the detector is against the wall. Slamming and banging and marking the hell out of that plastic piece of shit until-
BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP
I take my pillow off my head and look at my ankle. The black cartridge was broken and the pieces fell all over the bed.
It was broken off, but still making noise.
Shit.
What if that notifies them. Sets off the alarm and they are running over to my room right now to beat the shit out of me.
At least this took my mind off that damn faucet.
I sit up in my bed and pulled off the rest of the bracelet.
My poor ankle.
It was so bruised and swollen from all the times I've tried to get this thing off. I'd forgotten what my ankles look like without it on.
It felt so much better, like I could breathe easier or something.
I take the cartridge and start smashing it against the bed post to make it shut up. The beeping seemed to get louder and the louder it got the more paranoid I was that the nurses would barge in here and flip out.
Eventually the light stopped flashing and the beeping quit. I sit down on the floor panting a little from all the effort put into smashing that shit.
BZZZZZ
CER-CLINK
The door to my room swings open and my supervisor walks in with two body guards behind her. She looks around the room and then her eyes fix on me. The body guards walk over with both hands held out, offering assistance.
No use in refusing, I'd just get hurt if I did.
I outstretch my arms to them and they each took a hand, helping me up to my feet. As my supervisor waltzes over to me, one of the body guards take both my wrists and pin them behind my back.
Looking me up and down, deep into my eyes and my hair, my supervisor, Shannon, asks me-
"We've been taking our medicine, haven't we, Bella?"
I nod, slowly.
I loathe talking to the people who work here. Why would anyone want a job working with crazy people? I wouldn't, they'd get on my damned nerves too much.
I swear I'm the sanest person being kept in this place. I don't do the things the other people do in here.
The girl two rooms down from me, Samantha, every night you can hear her screaming on the top of her lungs for hours on end. I stopped caring after the first week.
Now it just puts me to sleep.
Randal, this guy in one of the supervised rooms, has to have this weird gloves over his hands all the time because he'll pull off his nails and try to stick them in any orifice he can find on you. He talks about how his wife is cooking him dinner and she needs him to help, but he can't do it without his cooking gloves, so he pleads for the guards to take the gloves he has off.
I swear, some fuckin' people.
My supervisor makes a weird face and kneels down to see my feet.
"I know you don't like the anklets, darling, but we need to have them on you at all times. Its just a rule around here, you understand, sweetie. Well, it was bound to happen soon anyways. You were just itching to get that off, weren't you?"
Her British-Australian-whatever accent bugs the shit out of me. The way she calls me all those cutesy pet names doesn't help much either.
She gets back up and writes something down on her clip board, "We'll just get you another one, maybe stronger this time if we can find one."
I just looked away from her. I don't do well with authoritative figures. Cops, lawyers, parents.
They don't slide well with me.
My supervisor smiles at me before patting my shoulder and turning to go. The body guard that was holding my wrists together let me go as soon as she walks out of the room.
My door buzzes shut, and they were gone.
I sit back on my bed and rest my back against the wall, leaning over and rubbing my sore ankle. Swollen and puffy, stings to the touch. I let it go and hang it off the side of my bed.
Closing my eyes and taking a deep breath in, I think of how everyone at home is doing. How their lives have changed because of me. I let the breath out and looked out my window.
I didn't want to hurt anyone. I didn't want to hurt my mother or my father. My friends, or anyone else for that matter.
Just him.
I bet you're wondering how I got in here. What could a nineteen year old girl do to be put in the loony bin?
Do you want the long story or short?
I'm assuming short, but guessing you want all the gory details, we'll take the long road.
I'll catch you up to make it less boring and get you to the good-or bad-part.
Jacob, Edward and Emmet became best friends. Rosalie, Alice and I were inseparable. We all would be together no matter what. Parties, family get-togethers, random road trips and what not.
Edward and I got close and started dating. It was funny, because Jake and Alice soon after became a couple, as did Rosalie and Emmet.
In a strange way we all worked out perfectly together. It was about four or five months into mine and Edward's relationship that things began to get a little rocky. He was more aggressive and became a jerk. I didn't understand why he was acting so strange, just the testosterone I guessed.
I let it slide, knowing it was probably just a phase. He was probably just showing off to be a guy's guy.
That wasn't the case though. Before long everything between us was different.
It started one night when I was over his house…
March 12.
32 days before the accident.
Edward was on his bed reading a magazine. I was laying at his feet on my laptop doing research for my English paper that was due in a week. We'd just come home from the movies, had a little argument in the car about what some girl had said to him the week previous.
"I'd take care of you better than that bitch, Bella." She said.
He told me he didn't even let it bother him, but it sure as hell bothered me. I asked who she was and of course he wouldn't give a name. We almost had to pull the car over because he got so frustrated with me.
As I was doing my research, I still couldn't brush what she said off my shoulder. How do I not take care of my boyfriend?
I do everything for him. Laundry, cook him dinner once in a while, buy him things now and again. Take his car to get worked on when he needs it.
I'm practically his wife!
Edward looked down at me, nudging my shoulder with the heel of his foot.
"Hm?"
"Workin' hard or hardly workin'?" He asked me. I didn't respond, I was working on reading this sentence over and over in my head to try to make sense of it.
He nudged me again, again I didn't answer.
"…Babe?"
"What?" I spat. He retracted his heel and glared at me. I looked at him in my peripheral and sighed.
"I'm sorry, this sentence is just frustrating me, I keep reading and reading it but its not making sense in my head what its saying."
"Read it out loud if that helps." Edward suggested.
"As the fermentation process in the tank continued to produce carbon monoxide, the pressure inside continued to build, causing the cracks within the tank to expand."
Edward just stared as I thought it over again in my head, then he must have seen the light bulb above my head light up and smiled.
"Told you it would work. What's your project on anyways?"
"'The Boston Molassacre'." I told him. He nodded and went back to his GQ mag.
I needed a break horribly.
I saved my work on Word and closed the window down, shutting my laptop and sliding it away from my face.
"I'm so tired of school already." I groaned and clunked my head down on the sheets, drawing a big breath in and out.
"Two more months, Babe. Then we're done for good." His voice settled me. I sat up and climbed next to him, resting my head on his chest and laying my arm over his stomach.
"Are you excited to go away for a week after we graduate?" I asked. He nodded, not taking his eyes off his magazine.
"Hey," I poked his tummy, "answer me!"
"I'm excited. Calm down." He said in a monotone voice.
"You're a butt hole."
"Grow up." He retorted. I frowned up at him.
"What the hell is your problem?" This attitude was pissing me off. He's been an ass since we got in the car.
"Nothing, babe. I'm reading right now. Go do your paper." He ordered.
Whatever.
I got up and slide myself off his bed, taking my laptop and putting it in the sleeve. I grabbed my keys out of my purse and picked everything up, heading to his door.
"Where are you going?" He asked, finally setting his magazine down.
"You don't seem like you want me here, I'm going home." I answered innocently. He raised an eyebrow up and threw his magazine on the floor next to his bed. He got up and walked over to me, grabbing my things from my shoulders and setting them down next to his night table.
"You're not leaving, its too early. I'm sorry, I was reading an article. Just don't go, okay? Lay with me." He pleaded. I couldn't say no, but I always back down from these arguments. That got my fire aflame.
"Edward, you've been in these pissy moods lately. Every night we'll get in a fight and then make up; then get into another damn fight. And you know what? I'm sick and tired of it."
I think that was reasonable enough.
He got this weird expression on his face and crossed his arms across his chest. "What pissy mood?"
"This mood. All defensive and dick-ish. I'm tired of it. I'm tired in general, I just want to sleep." I sighed. He wasn't buying it, he just stood there.
"That's not fair, Bella. I asked you to stay, there's no reason you can't lay down for a while and then go home later." Now he's just arguing to argue.
"No." I stated bluntly.
"Yes."
I looked at him in disbelief, backed up and gathered my things again.
"I'm leaving, goodnight." Edward rushed in front of me and slammed his door shut. Turning and leaning against the door, his arms back across his chest, he glared down at me.
"If I want you to stay, then you're staying. Put your shit down and get on the bed." He demanded.
Oh hell no.
"Are you fucking serious? Do you really want to do this right now? I'm leaving, Edward. Let me leave."
He didn't budge. I walked up to him and tried to push him past the door but he's like a rock. I couldn't get past him.
"Move." I growled.
"No."
"Edward if you don't move in five seconds, I'll call your mom and tell her to come up here and make you move." I threatened. He just smirked and rolled his eyes.
"Go cry to my mommy, Bella. You can't get yours so you have to go to mine. Don't pull that shit."
"ExCUSE me!" I yelled.
I was furious.
My face was pulled down into the deadliest glare I could give.
"You heard me. I'm sick of you running to my mom whenever we have a problem. She always wines in my ear about how you'd tell her this and that. Just shut the fuck up, okay? This is OUR relationship, NOT hers."
Mother fucker. I set my things down and smacked him across the face.
"How DARE you talk to me like that. You goddamn pig, fuck you." I said through clenched teeth.
Edward's eyes got dark, his face got heated. He didn't look to happy.
He pushed himself off the door and pushed his chest into my face, backing me up and not stopping until I fell back onto the bed. He reached down and held his hand on my collar bone, pressing me into the bed.
When he raised his hand back, I knew what was coming next. I snapped my eyes shut and the pain hit me harder then a flying bus.
That slap across the face felt horrible, demeaning and disgusting. I laid there, my cheek burning and my eyes watering up. My throat became tight and I started choking back the tears.
Edward moved back off of me and stood there, glaring.
"Do not talk to me like that. And if you ever hit me again, you'll be damn sorry, bitch." He snarled.
Edward turned sharply on his heel and stormed out of his room, slamming the door behind him. My tears were filling a little dent in his bed where my elbow was pressing into in.
I couldn't move, I was in too much shock. I laid there and sobbed my eyes out, the hurt of the smack and his words were too much to handle right now.
Why- how could he do that to me? He's never gotten physical with me, ever.
I finally got the strength to sit up and wipe my watery, puffy eyes.
This just doesn't make sense. I know he's been in a weird mood lately, but I didn't know I could pissed him off enough for him to actually hit me.
I grabbed all of my belongings, snatched my keys that were on the floor and slowly walked out of his room. I didn't know where Edward was, so I tried to stay as quiet as I could leaving his house. When I walked out into the driveway, his car was gone.
Thank god. I hopped in my car, took a few deep breaths before starting it up and backed out of his driveway.
That car ride home was one of the worst I've ever had.
When something that traumatic happens to you, you don't know what to think.
I didn't talk to Edward for a few days after that.
I couldn't.
I didn't know what to say to him. He didn't try to get in touch with me, so I only guessed that he was upset as well.
If you're ever in a situation where your boyfriend smacks you, it's a huge warning sign to get the fuck out of that relationship.
Smacking leads to hitting, which leads to punching and kicking, which leads to worse things.
I slide off my bed and walk over to the sink where I turn the faucet on and splash water into my face a few times.
I'm exhausted, I have my productive cooperation class in a while and I want to take a nap before having to sit in a room full of bat shit crazy people talking out their problems.
Fuckin' crazy assholes.
I walk back to my bed and lay down. I shut my eyes, start tossing and turning till I get in a good comfortable position.
My body finally feels at ease, except for the throbbing pain in my ankle. I wonder when I'll get a new anklet, hopefully not for a while.
This shit needs to heal before anything goes back on it.
It doesn't take long till I feel myself softly slipping into a nice sleep.
BZZZZZ
CER-CLANK
"Its time for class, Bella."
A/N: I can't stop thinking about this story, I'm so excited about it. Please tell your friends to read it, I hope you guys enjoyed it so far!