((It was written for the Severus/Remus Fuh-Q-Fest, but I am terrible at slash, so I'll take my sweet time. No kissing for a while yet.))
The next day, at exactly 5:30pm, Severus Snape, Potions Master at Hogwarts, and renowned hero and spy of the 'good side' in the War of the Wizarding World I, found himself outside a town drunk's apartment, wondering exactly why he was there. The smell was incredible, and the floor was rotting in several places. Cracks riddled the mildewed walls, and Severus found himself curling his lip in a grimace at the sight.
He raised his cold, white, long-fingered hand to the door and knocked once, hard. The door creaked open, and he felt a chill. He tucked his black robes into himself, cursing, and opened the door, slowly.
A Muggle TV blared from inside, and Severus felt the hairs on the back of his neck prickle. The door should not have been open if Remus was fine. He cursed himself again for being a sentimental idiot, hanging on to the vestiges of a two-decade-old crush. He quickly put a stop to that particular thought; he was here for one purpose and one purpose only, to find out why Remus Lupin, valedictorian of his year, was in this dump and take him out of it. Immediately.
Severus' black eyes looked around, at the shadowed corners and scarred walls. In here, blood streaked the walls, and dents and scratches, looking as if they had been made from claws. No. Severus bent down; his ungainly black-clothed figure hunched over, and inspected the scratches.
Human. Blood accompanied several of them, and he caught a good glimpse of ripped nail before his gaze was torn away by movement at the end of the hall, inside the apartment. He stood, slowly, one hand on his wand. His black eyes darted around, looking for it again.
"It's only Remus," he muttered, and opened the door in front of him.
It was a former bathroom; a dingy, almost unlit low-ceilinged room. He glared about it, and swore silently as he entered, banging his head on the low doorway.
A cough behind him, not a small cough to tell him of the person, but an unintended, full-blown fit. The figure behind him doubled over, coughing harshly into his pale hand as his body was racked by the force of the fit.
Severus glared at him for a moment, ruffled, then concern flickered in his impenetrable eyes as Remus showed no sign of stopping. He pulled out a vial from his sleeve, one that he had brought and hidden discreetly in his robes. After his meeting with Remus yesterday, he had gone through his collection of prepared potions, and selected a few. It was the logical thing to be prepared, he had thought at the time.
Indeed, he was correct. He quickly stepped forward, to a suffocating Remus, and grasped him by the neck, pulling him upright. Remus gasped for air, and shuddered as Severus held the vial to his pale lips. He began to shake his head, his amber eyes wide, and Severus lost his temper, holding him in place.
Remus drank it, and his harsh coughing eased. Severus realized how inappropriately he was holding Remus, and let go. The smaller man began to sink to the floor, his knees buckling, but threw out a hand and caught himself on a nearby table. His pale fingers were bloody at the tips, the nails all but gone. Severus found himself staring at them, as Remus regained his breath and balance, and turned away, hiding himself from Severus.
Too late for that, though. Severus remembered the black eye, now a faded purple, but a cut on Remus's high cheekbone still bled. That was new, along with a bruise on his neck, a fingerprint here and there… Severus could see there were more, hidden by the scraps of clothing Remus donned. He found himself pitying the werewolf, rather than being disgusted. This was a situation to pity, not to disgust or belittle, as he was normally wont to do.
Severus spoke, as he carefully inserted the vial back into its hidden compartment. "The door was open."
Remus winced at the strange tone, and glanced furtively at the open door. He quickly stumbled his way over to it, and shut it gracefully, his slim back to Severus.
There was a moment of silence as the Potions Master waited for a reply. There was none.
Severus coughed to clear his throat, and break the strange silence. "Lupin, I am not going to turn you in. I told you that, and I will not make you do anything against your will, unless it is detrimental to your health, fragile as it looks. Have you eaten?"
Remus gave a small, short nod, his tawny head still facing the door. The man didn't move, and Severus gave a long-suffering sigh. "I meant in the past couple days."
Remus cocked his head, slightly, and appeared to turn over the question. His head drooped, and he hunched over a little. "No," he whispered quietly.
"Louder, Lupin, I'm not the bloody door."
"No."
"Thank you. Now, have you gotten that eye looked at?" Silence. "Answer me, please, Lupin."
"No." Again the ashamed whisper.
"Why not?"
"Too e-expensive."
"Why are you stuttering? You never used to. You sound almost like that idiot Longbottom." He knew perfectly well, of course, but needed sound to calm the werewolf, before it bolted.
Remus shook his head a little, and Severus could tell he was suppressing a smirk.
"Come on, Remus, I haven't got all day." Oh, damn. Well, it didn't really matter; Lupin wasn't flattering at any rate.
Remus had noticed the slip too, and flinched at it. "Don't know. Leave me alone, Professor Snape. Please."
"No. You're hurt, and you're not getting any medical attention for it. Now, answer my questions, please. Why Professor now?"
Remus ducked his head a little, and turned around to see Snape, his amber eyes wide with surprise. "Werewolves have to be respectful. Can't call you by your first name. You're better than me."
Severus fought the urge to roll his eyes. He knew that. Only problem was, Remus shouldn't. "Who is Marcus?"
Remus began to shake, and surprise dissipated into abject fear. "No, no, please, Snape, please."
Severus started forwards, and Remus threw up his hands to shield himself. "No, don't, I'll be good, I swear, don't hurt me, I'm good…"
Well. Severus stopped abruptly, his interest and anger at an all-new high. "Remus?" he said, softer, and started forward.
Remus slid to the floor, against the doorway. He twisted his hands, and Severus saw for the first time, the rings of new burns that roped around them. "Leave, please, just go," he cried, looking at the far wall.
"I don't think I will, thanks." Severus took out his wand. "Where is your wand?" he asked Remus roughly. He had no patience with theatrics.
"Mar- Marcus has it."
"And why exactly does he have it?"
"Because he was worried I would leave, or run away. And he needs it for his gambling," Remus added, softly.
Severus made a murmur of assent, and glared around the apartment as a way to expend some of that anger. "Where are your things?"
Remus closed his large eyes silently. "I'm not leaving, Severus."
Severus glared at him, and Remus flinched under it. "You are too."
"I can't."
Severus rubbed at his temples. Infuriating creature. "Why not, Lupin? And don't give me an idiotic short reply. Reasons, now."
"Marcus."
Severus didn't bother to resist the urge this time and rolled his beetle-black eyes. "Not good enough. Come on, stand up, we are leaving."
"I told you no," Remus said, his voice beginning to get higher in panic.
"And I do not give a damn. You're coming with me!" he snarled, and Remus stood obediently and started forward, his face guilty and ashamed. Severus calmed himself slightly. "I am not going to hurt you, Remus."
Remus nodded, his gaze still averted. Severus fought a sigh and continued, briskly. "I am taking you to Pomfrey. We will Portkey inside Hogswarts, to my offices, and then I shall walk you to the Hospital Wing. It's easier than going through the Ministry and St. Mungo's. Anything you want to bring?"
Remus shook his head softly. "What about Marcus?"
Severus snorted. "Then I suppose we're off." He took Remus's hand and pressed it into his own cold white one. He pulled out a pink lacy thong, glared at Remus, who appeared to be struggling not to laugh, and squeezed it, wishing the Portkey Master to a thousand fiery hells. He felt the familiar sensation, and the world became of a blur.
He fell to his knobbly knees and hastily stood again, as the werewolf collapsed beside him. He swept his straight, greasy black hair back from his face to glare at the tawny-headed man, then bent back down to his knees. "Remus?"
"Severus?" The tone was weak, but unmistakable. The paler man picked himself up and looked up at the now standing Severus with large, open amber eyes, too wide for any grown man to have. They were scared, and became more so when Remus had gotten a good glance around his office.
A bell rang in the distance and students walked down the hallways from supper, chatting and laughing. Remus listened intently, looking for one voice in particular. Severus waited for a moment, then tapped him on the shoulder. "Lupin?"
Remus jumped and winced a little, spinning around to face Snape. "Y-yes?"
He hadn't gotten that far yet himself, but he was saved by the timely (or untimely, once he recognized the voice) knock and accompanying shout of the Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor, also known as the Boy-Who-Lived, or Harry Potter. He swirled around to glare at the door, then sighed.
"What is it, Potter?" Remus started at the name, and the voice. He stumbled back into a chair, and brought his knees up. His amber eyes, highlighted by gold, were still wide and bright though, watching the goings-on curiously. Severus' gaze landed on the black eye, and he recalled his mission.
Harry apparently was taking his sweet time. "I have a message for you from the Headmaster. He wants to speak to you about your proposition."
The stupid proposition. He could care less now about it, and he truly did have to get Remus to Pomfrey. "Can it wait?"
"I'm afraid not, Professor. May I come in?" Remus shook his head convulsively at the prospect as he pleaded with Snape through those damnable eyes.
"No, you may not, Potter." He prided himself on his snarky tone, despite his giving in to Remus. Not that he'd let Harry Potter into his rooms, except to maybe poison him.
"Do you have company?"
Damndamndamndamndamn. Now the prat would go around the school hinting that he kept students or such after classes and such in his rooms and would not be disturbed. Oh that would look well. Petty blackmailer. Learned far too much from Severus as it was.
He shot a glance at Remus. "Yes. Come in, then Potter. You've already managed to ruin so many of my experiments with your interruptions, what's one more?" He began to gather out various ingredients, to make it look like he was indeed working. Potter would not leave him alone otherwise.
Harry entered, not the least bit perturbed by Snape's comments. His black hair was thicker, and he was noticeably taller, eighteen years old. Remus gazed at him, lost. Harry didn't notice the slight, pale man in the large chair, but Severus was well aware at which of them Remus was staring so brazenly at.
Severus began to get angry. "Is there anything you needed, Potter?"
Harry handed him a wax-sealed letter, and a stack of documents. "Letter from Minerva, she's still in St. Mungo's for the next week, and the forms for those ingredients you ordered. I'm going to Puddlemere United for the weekend, though Ginny says I oughtn't. They want me to be in their big game against the Wimbourne Wasps, and since I have my work caught up, I said yes. It'll be a celebrity-showoff-type-thing."
Severus nodded stiffly, taking them both and turning away to place them on his desk neatly. Harry chose that moment to glance around, and Severus turned back to find him stock-still, staring wide-eyed at Remus Lupin, who was still seated on the too-large chair. Emerald gaze met amber, and Severus felt a stab of annoyance. Now they choose to go all sappy…
Harry broke into a grin, a slightly dazed one, and Remus attempted a smile, but his lip was swollen, and his lips were firmly pressed together as well. Harry started, glanced from Remus to Severus curiously, and flicked his green gaze back to Remus as Severus gave a long-suffering sigh and waved his white hand.
Harry took that as a go-ahead sign, and ran forward to give the smaller man a hug. Remus closed his eyes and wrapped his scarred hands around Harry, hugging him back. It was an awkward position, to be sure, since Remus was still seated, and Harry was six-foot-something. The teen was the first to speak, his bespectacled face buried in Remus's shoulder. "I missed you! Where were you, Remus? Where have you been? Any stories to tell? Merlin, I missed you so much."
A clear tear trickled out of Remus's unpurpled eye and made its way down his prominent cheekbone. Severus turned away in disgust; he had been right; they were being sappy.
He clapped his hands together briskly, startling a teary-eyed Harry out of their embrace. "As unhappy as I am to break up this joyful reunion, Lupin, we should leave to see Pomfrey now; the halls should be clear."
Harry looked at him sharply, confusion written on his features. Remus glanced away, and ran a hand through his silver-streaked hair. Severus regretted his rash move only slightly.
"I apologize, Potter, but Remus has to go to the Hospital Wing. Now, if you'll excuse us…" He made a move for Harry to leave. Harry looked at Remus, a torn man huddled on a chair, and saw for the first time the marks of the werewolf's former life upon his otherwise perfect cream skin. The boy made himself look at Snape as he quickly made an inner decision.
"May I join you?" Steel was in the question, as well as a great deal of hope and suspicion.
Severus was on the verge of saying no when he caught sight of Remus, who looked so downtrodden, and hurt. He had no hope for himself left. He remembered the sight of Remus's happiness, only moments before, and cursed the werewolf, and himself for his weakness.
"I suppose," he said roughly, "If you make yourself useful."
Remus turned to watch him, and Severus caught his amber gaze and held it for a moment. Remus nodded, softly, and murmured a 'thank you'.
"Well? Come along, Remus, some of us haven't got all day."
"No? Oh, I guess those coverguys on those mags you confiscated won't watch themselves." Harry grinned at him, and Severus allowed himself a smirk in return.
"You're learning well, young one." Remus was watching them both, and Severus felt a flush creep its way up his high collar.
The edge of Remus's mouth quirked, and he stood, slowly and painfully. He tried not to let either of the two see it, but both could tell, plainly. Remus coughed into his hand again, harshly. He swayed as he coughed, and Harry and Severus darted out simultaneously to catch him.
"Foolish man! Would it be too much to ask for you to take care of yourself?" Severus said angrily as he caught Remus and held him upright.
Harry turned to stare at him in amazement, his mouth open and glasses slipping. Severus held Remus, and rubbed his back, his mouth set into a worried line. He noticed Harry watching him, and gave him a death-glare. "Go get Madam Pomfrey, Potter. What are you waiting for?"
Harry muttered an apology and stumbled out, still dazed. He had seen what few people had: Severus Snape concerned. And over a werewolf!
Severus picked up Remus, who had just bare annoyed at the lightness of the werewolf, and took him to his bedroom, laying him down on the bed. Remus closed his eyes as Severus stumbled around in the black and green silk-coated room.
The tawny-haired werewolf murmured something, and Severus turned abruptly, narrowly avoiding a fall. "Yes?"
Remus shook his head a little, his eyes still closed. "Just can't believe where I am."
Severus raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Why not?"
"Don't know. Always dreamed I'd be here…" The soft voice was drowsy and warm, and it sent delicious thrills through Severus, though he refused to pursue that statement. Remus appeared not to notice, his long golden lashes glimmering against his cheekbones. "Why do you hate me so much?" an anxious voice suddenly asked.
Severus continued with his sorting, searching for a set of vials… "Hmm?"
"No, truly, why did you hate me so much? Surely not for the Shrieking Shack incident, right?" Past tense. Remus had caught on to something, then.
Severus stiffened. "I don't hate you."
Remus opened his eyes to half-lidded, and looked at Severus through his eyelashes. "Then why destroy my career? I can't find another job, you know. And I did so love teaching…" his voice never changed, still drowsy.
Severus didn't look at him. "I am sorry."
"But why?" The voice had taken on a distinctly plaintive note.
Severus ruminated for a moment on the effect of the room and their conversation. They never could lie well to each other, despite their efforts. Or rather, Severus' efforts; Remus had never been opposed to telling him the truth. The fire, however, the familiar surroundings, the complete helplessness of Remus, and the soft voice all helped to bring down his walls to an extent.
"I suppose… I couldn't stand the thought of you and Black. Together." That was the barefaced truth, right there.
Remus turned his head to face the window slightly. "Sirius and I… we tried to survive through each other. That was need." He shifted slightly. "My turn. Why do you so hate werewolves? Surely you know what we are? How it works?"
Severus turned to give him a death-glare, only to find Remus had closed his eyes again peacefully. He was not asleep though, not at all.
"I don't hate them. I don't hate what you are. Why would you think that?"
Remus opened his eyes and raised both his eyebrows. Severus nodded curtly and returned to his work. "Why do you think werewolves are so beneath respect now?"
Remus shook his head. "Because that's what I'm told. You can only listen to a phrase so many times before you begin to believe it."
"And this telling you… That was all Marcus?"
Remus turned away at the sound of the name, but nodded slightly, exhaling.
A tense moment passed. "Why did you stay with him? Why did you leave Harry, Albus, everyone?"
Remus straightened up a little, and twisted his entire body to look out the enchanted window. "Don't know. Couldn't believe Sirius was gone. Couldn't take it, I guess. And it's not like they put any effort into helping me, either. I very nearly killed myself, with that silver razor Sirius found in the attic. Would have been better if I had succeeded.
"Marcus loved me, and he cared for me. He paid attention to me, and touched me. I needed touch so badly, Severus, I would have gone insane without it. But, he had a drinking problem. After a while, he said he was the only person in the world who could put up with a killer like me. An animal. Saddest part? He was right. Well, who would want an old sick werewolf anyway?"
"Me." Quiet, so as to nearly be silent. Remus's sensitive ears picked up the noise anyway, and he turned back to face Severus, open-mouthed.
"What?" he asked quietly, when he had found his voice.
Too late to turn back now. Damn him. Damn him for never letting me be able to control myself around him. "Me," Severus said roughly, and turned around to face the slight figure on the bed.
"You heard me. You're not worthless, Remus Lupin, and damn you for even thinking it. Why didn't you tell any of us? We tried, do you remember? You shut us fucking off from you."
Remus nodded, and shrunk further into the pillows at the harsh tone. Severus opened his mouth to rant some more, caught Remus's expression, and closed it, contenting himself with glaring at the werewolf.
The door opened, and he whirled around to face it, his face paler than usual with anger. Remus flinched from where he was seated, and the shrill voice of Madam Pomfrey filled the luxurious Slytherin bedroom.
Harry stood in the corner, suddenly nervous. "Professor?"
Both of them looked at him, one sharply, and with a great deal of suspicion, and one with wide, scared eyes. Harry bowed his head a little and nodded pointedly in Remus's direction. "Remus."
Remus bowed his head a little, his eyes not leaving Harry's face. Madam Pomfrey, laden with her usual supplies, began to administer to Remus, who flinched from her soft touches. Harry opened his mouth to ask a question, and Remus's fine features suddenly became guarded. Severus glared at the boy, and Madam Pomfrey glared at the two of them. "Out."
Severus turned to her, incredulous. "But this is my room!"
"Bunk in the Hospital Wing, it won't do you any harm. Perhaps you have another bed around here? That couch in your office looked awfully comfortable." She was adamant, without even turning to look at him.
Harry was struggling not to laugh, his face going red with the effort. Severus fumed for a moment, his death-glare no good to someone who wouldn't look at him. He glared at Harry, instead, and Harry burst out laughing. Madam Pomfrey's scowl became dangerous, and she firmly pushed the other two out.
Harry blinked and pulled off his glasses to wipe them as Severus began to stalk off to his laboratory. He carefully slid them back on, then looked around. "Professor Snape?"
"Yes, Potter?"
"Did Remus… Did Remus do that to himself? The wolf, I mean?"
Severus looked up at him sharply, then back down at his intensive work. "No."
Harry nodded. "Did he say why he left, maybe?"
Severus didn't bother to look at him. "Not details."
"Was it Sirius?"
His own white hand gripped the countertop tightly. "Black? A part, I suppose."
A silence fell. "Is he going to stay?" Hope was evident in the tone.
Severus looked away. "It's up to him."
Harry nodded, then ducked his head a little. "Thank you, Professor, thank you very much. Really. I'm happy you found him."
Silence again, as Severus contemplated answering. Harry sighed. "Well, if there's anything I can do for either of you, I am only two floors above you, and you're not that old." He left before Severus could deliver a scathing reply. He glared at the door a minute, bereft of his target for his sarcastic retort, and returned to his potions, muttering,
"Damn him."