Red as the Dawn
Chapter 1
It was cold, freezing, in fact. I stood shivering in the darkness with the barest of lights at the edge of my vision, but as I glanced at it, it flirted away like a bird taking flight. From my right came the slight drip of water and as I took a tentative step towards it, the heavy bars of a cage slammed down in front of me, sending me backwards with a gasp of surprise. I slammed into something that gave a fleshy thud as I blindly stumbled. I screamed as I felt the warm flow of sticky blood on my hands and my back from the object I'd run into in my blind panic. I spun around to face it and tripped on the slick floor, causing me to fall backward. From the darkness in front of me, Lucas stumbled forward, clutching his chest where blood was pumping in buckets all over the front of his guard uniform. He stared down at me where I had fallen onto my butt on the slimy stone, and choked, "why, why'd you do it Mare? Did you make Cal kill his father too?"
I scrambled backwards into the bars behind me, trying to cover my face, as if pretending Lucas wasn't there would make him vanish. His blood stained hands grab mine though and yank them away from my face and I scream as he digs his nails into my skin drawing my own blood.
"You did this! Do you not see? This is all your fault!" He cries as he shakes me, snapping my neck back and forth as he does so. I yank my wrists away from him and when I do, I see the red and silver blood that stains them. Screaming, I try to wipe it off on my pants but it sinks into my skin and no matter how hard I scrape them against my pants and the stone, it doesn't vanish.
"Don't you see Mare," I flip around to see Maven behind me, a wicked grin splitting his face, "you're no better than me."
He spreads his arms out from his body as if he's inviting me to come into his embrace, with a soft smile just like I remember, he whispers, "come on Mare, you know you can't win this war. Cal's done, he's going to die and you know it will be your fault. Don't sit on that bomb Mare, at least be a few steps away to avoid the collateral damage."
Before I can do anything, my arm snaps out and latches onto his and he pulls me to him. I scream as I try to fight him, only to realize my arms are wrapped around him. I try to kick out but my body feels like a puppet with its strings begin pulled to tight. I glance over Maven's shoulder to see Elara standing in the shadows. With a flourish and a laugh she pulls her skirts away to reveal Cal lying face down, his blood pooling around him, with his clothes torn and falling off to show even more injuries. I scream his name and try to fight Maven only for him to hold me tighter and whisper in my ear, "you're just as much of a monster as me Mare, just remember that you agreed to kill them all too."
He smiles as he peels me off of him, and holds my hands up to my face. The blood is gone finally and I cry in relief until he digs his nails in and causes them to bleed again. I cry out in agony and watch in horror as silver blood leaks from my body. Maven tilts his head to the side, like a morbidly fascinated child and whispers, "look at that, you're a silver monster too."
I wake screaming, throwing my hands out in front of me to protect myself from the shadows in my mind, and the darkness was lit up for a moment by the tiny arches of lighting that danced across my finger tips. I stuff my hands between my legs when I see that, and take in heaving gasps of air to calm down. Tears continue to leak from my eyes though and my breath doesn't calm as quickly as I wish it would.
"Just a nightmare, it was just a dream." I whisper over and over again until my breathing is a little slower. I dig my nails into my skin and watch as the skin turns red, I let out a soft cry of joy and then fall back onto the stiff mattress. To my left I hear someone shift and Shade whispers into the darkness, "Mare, everything okay?"
I glance in his direction, before I can reply though, he flicks on the light between us and I hold my hand up to shield my eyes from the brightness. I squint around the darkness to see Shade propped up on his elbow, his dark hair slick across his forehead with sweat, and his eyes watching me with brotherly concern. I offer him a nod and try to roll over before he can see my messy features and wet cheeks. I'm not fast enough though, because he chokes out, "Mare—hey don't turn away, what's going on?"
"Nothing Shade, it was just a dream, go back to sleep." I didn't mean for it to be so biting, but I need him to stop probing. I don't know if I could deal with Shade knowing about the darkness that bites at my heels like a dog chasing me relentlessly. His sheets rustle as he slips out of bed and moves towards me across the metal floor. My mattress sinks down as he takes up his now habitual position next to me and starts running his hand in slow circles on my back. He sighs heavily and whispers like he used to when we were little kids, "what's the matter Mare?"
My throat closes around the words I want to whisper; that all this was my fault, that Cal's miserable because of me, because I was a fool that played along in Maven's games, that I was the reason this whole mess had even started. I can not bring myself to say that though, just knowing is enough for now. Shade doesn't buy my silence at all and instead of pressing me he just sighs again and concedes the battle, "you can't keep that all bottled up in you, it's going to explode out when you really don't want it to."
His words make my eyes sting with tears again, and I'm forced to turn to the ever present hum of the machinery around us to dull the emotions inside me. All around us, electricity is running through the walls, hiding us from now, until we can prepare another base for us to travel to. Shade pops into existence in front of me, making me start in surprise and with a crooked smile he teases, "come on Mare Bear, what is it?"
"Mare Bear? God, Shade will you ever give me a grownup nickname?" I reply with the same smile, although deep inside he punctured me again. That nickname belonged to a little Red girl who ran through the Stilts at full sprint to catch up to her older brothers who were already so grown up. It belonged to a little girl who would curl up in her older brother's arms when she was scared, whispering for him to tell her a story so that she didn't have to listen to the silence in that rickety house. It didn't belong to me anymore, Mare Barrow had truly died in that throne room when Mareena came to be. I had been baptized and christened in the blood of those I had trusted and those I considered my enemy. Maven would have been proud to see how much the work he had done on me had paid off.
My silence draws Shade in further until he's practically resting his head on my pillow, and with that brotherly concern again he whispers, "do you want to hear a story Mare?"
I glance up at him sadly, and with a tight throat that is barrel choking back tears, I manage, "no, no more stories Shade. I don't want to hear them anymore. There's no such thing as princesses and knights anymore, there's only the shadows and the demons that control them now."
9/9
The guards standing outside of the rickety mine shaft elevator were apparently not expecting me, because they both take one step to the side and block my path once I start approaching. Their uniforms hang awkwardly around their shoulders and I wince at the laughter that must have slipped past Cal's defenses as they dragged him down to his "special" cell. I could practically hear him whispering in my ear, see that Mare? Little boys playing dress up as soldiers.
I straighten in annoyance when they don't step out of the way and hiss, "excuse me, but I'm hear to see the prison-"
"Sorry ma'am, orders from Farley, no one is to see the prisoner." One of them mumbles as he shifts his rifled from one shoulder to the other. I sigh, exasperated, and roll my eyes at all the rules I had to play under now. I had to bow to a Queen who I hated, and now I have to bow to a woman who won't even let me go outside.
"Well, I'd hate for her to come back and see two chard husks where her guards once were. That would be a pity," I growl as my hand twitches at my side. Both of them flinch and take tiny steps away from me. A tight grin pulls at my lips, apparently my reputation preceded me. Both of the guards share concerned looks after my reaction to their obvious fear, and it's only then that I realize that they were twins. When they finally look back to me, one of them whispers tightly, "you promise not to tell okay? We're not supposed to let anyone down there." His eyes light up with trepidation as they both scan the crowd behind me for any sign of Farley or her entourage of "council members". Glancing over my shoulder for any sign of Shade, who had become my over grown shadow in the past few weeks, or my other brothers, I nod quickly and take another step towards the gated entrance to the elevator shaft. Both of the boys, because there was no way either of them was over eighteen in age, step aside and make way for me. One of them calls the car with the push of a button and the other whispers softly in my ear, "just be careful down there, they say he killed his own father just to wear the crown for a night."
My chest constricted in agony and I choked, "that's not true, I know Cal," But I was starting to wonder if I had ever known the Heir of Norta at all. If I had known that golden Silver Prince, who was brought to his knees by a woman who wanted to see her son on the throne.
The mine lift arrived before the guard could respond to my questionable answer, instead, he shrugs and pulls the gate back to allow me entrance into the metal coffin that was the lift. I stepped into the cold mesh box and glanced over my shoulder as they closed the gates behind and me pushed the button to send me down. The lift's cables creaked and then I slowly began to descend into the bowls of the Scarlet Guard's headquarters.
The trip down was silent except for the scream of underused machinery and weak cables that whined as they slowly gave way for my decent. I shivered at the cold and wrapped my arms around my body hoping to trap some of the heat as the cold became almost unbearable. My breaths came out in puffs of smoke in front of my face, but soon, even those were lost to the darkness that surrounded me. The cart stopped suddenly and I grabbed at the grating, trying to right myself. It was deathly silent in that darkness for a few moments, and in that span of time I felt the walls starting to close in on me. My hand grew slick with sweat and my chest began rising and falling rapidly as I felt the tons of rock that were rising above my head and could come crashing down at any second. Before my panic could turn into a full scale anxiety attack though, the cart started its slow, grinding decent once more.
I remained pressed up against the side of the metal cage that would surely become my coffin given enough time, trying to figure out how the lift had started moving again. It took me a few moments to hear the hum and crackle of sparks near me. Glancing down in surprise, I saw the tiny tendrils of light that were dancing along the mesh fencing that was being gripped to death by my hands. In my panic I must have jolted the cart back into motion, and although that gave me comfort, it didn't last long, because the lift slammed to a stop once more. This time though, light bled from the few torches that were sparsely set up to lead the way to the cells.
Releasing my hold on the mesh, I reached out and yanked the doors apart, and stepped out into the stone tunnel. From down the way, I could hear the soft swell of voices, and groaning inwardly, I realized I would probably have to convince a set of more seasoned guards to actually let me into the cell. Before I could think of a plan though, two shadows began to advance up the passage way, forcing me to dodge into the shadows or risk getting caught in an obviously out of bounds area. The two shadows eventually attached themselves to Farley and Shade. That explained why Shade had been missing from my side this morning, he must have been down here, but he wasn't on guard rotation anymore; at least, that's what he had told me. Their voices carried softly until they had paused in front of me and reached the doors of the lift. Farley huffed softly and then joked, "silver in the blood, silver in the tongue as they say."
"For being so quiet, he sure has a way of biting when he wants to." Shade's reply was filled with equal mirth. I couldn't see his face but he was probably smiling at his joke. Farley glanced to him and scoffed, "if he doesn't start talking soon, we'll have to turn to more… desperate measures."
Shade shrugged but didn't respond, his joy dampening quickly. "Mare won't like that."
"I'm afraid your little sister does not get a say in our political dealings." Farley huffed in annoyance as she pulled the grating apart again. They grind against each other and tone out Shade's reply. Farley's laughter echoes down the corridor, and with a gruff voice she replies, "I understand that, trust me. I saw first hand their little relationship. Maven was… not exactly wrong, but I don't see the two of them kissing and making up any time soon."
"That is just fine with me, I don't trust him." Shade growls as he follows Farley into the lift. She pulls the doors closed once more and then pushing the button to send the cart back up she whispers something to Shade, but it is once more drowned out by the heavy cables pulling the lift up.
I expel the breath I hadn't even noticed I was holding, my shoulders relaxing. They must have just been with Cal, and from the sound of it, he had given them both a verbal licking that was worth something.
My body trembles with worry as I stalk down the hallway to the cell that Cal had been locked in weeks ago. My chest rises and falls shallowly as I set my hand on the cool metal handle. For God's sake, it was soft metal too, he could burn through this in minutes and be up the shaft only minutes after that. Closing my eyes tightly against the invisible choking grip that had taken hold around my chest, I turn the handle and swing the heavy door inward.
The silent hush that follows the door opening is the only thing that gives me the courage to enter. I reach out and flick the light switch to the right of me. Bright, florescent lights flicked into existence making me squint. From the other side of the cell I hear a growl and a hoarse voice groans, "do you people actually think that I will ever, ever tell you anything-"
"Cal," I whisper his name like a hushed syllable and then take a tentative step into the room and towards him. He glances up in surprise and his eyes squint around the light while he takes me in. His eyes have that fiery spark again, and that thought loosens the knife in my throat slightly. We both glance at each other for a few moments, until our eyes adjust to the sudden change in lighting. He stands and his eyes narrow as he growls, "are you here to question me too?"
"No, I-"
He takes a few purposeful steps forward only to yanked back by the chains around his wrists. He lets out a yelp of pain and then steps backwards, trying to massage the skin below the binders. I feel the cold stone of the wall pressing against my shoulders, and I realize I must have take a few steps back from him in blind panic. As he stands there, tethered in his corner like a wild animal, I take deep breaths to calm my racing heart. Eventually he looks up at me and that fire dies as he sinks down onto the worn metal plate that serves for a cot. Seeing how broken he is in that moment, drives me a few steps closer to him. When I'm standing over him, my lips quiver with the need to say something, an apology, anything, but all I can see now are the dark circles under his eyes and the purple bruise that dominates his left cheek bone. Near his hair line is a dried trail of blood that looked like it belonged to a nasty cut. I crouch down and gently move his hair away from the wound to see it more clearly. He pulls away from my touch in reproach and murmurs, "it's nothing-"
My hand hovers above his skin, which makes him pause, and it takes being this much closer to him to see all the little nicks and cuts across his face. Hot tears of anger run down my cheeks and rising again I cross the room to the small bowl of water that was supposed to be used for cleaning purposes, and pick up the towel hanging off to the side. He wouldn't do this himself, his pride would never allow it, but I can't stand to see Cal brought so lowly.
By the time I return to his side, my eyes are dry and I have wiped all traces of my emotion from my face. He watches me warily as I dip the towel into the bowl of water and raise it to the deep gash above his right brow. He tries to pull away but I grab the back of his neck in a tight grip and dab at the wound delicately. His eyes widen in surprise as I gently wipe the silver stains off his face. He goes to grab my wrist and stop me, but the binders clang and stop him. I glance down at them and then see how his skin is raw underneath them, and little trickles of silver life run along his arms from his wrists. It breaks my heart, because he shouldn't even be in these still, he could just burn his way out of them.
My throat closes around the tears I'm trying to keep from falling, as I gently turn his head to the side so that I can reach the deep wound near his hair line. I wipe at it and watch as it starts to come into focus now that the blood that matted his hair isn't sticking to it. He sighs softly and then questions me, "Why- what are you doing Mare."
His question was more of a sigh than a real question, and it reminds me just how broken he really is. I curse the knot in my throat because when I answer it sounds like I'm crying, "I'm taking care of you," he watches me curiously as I continue, "I'll make them stop this, I promise."
He frowns at my reply and is silent for a few heart beats as I lower the cloth to the bowl and start to scrub the blood off so that I can actually tell what is old and what is new blood while I'm doing this. He lowers his voice to a gentle whisper as he inquires, "Why would you stop them? Don't you want the same answers?"
To avoid his eyes I glance at his jaw where a dark purple bruise it taking form, that one was definitely new, I wouldn't be surprised if Shade had given that to him a few minutes ago. If this wasn't desperate matters, then I wasn't so sure I wanted to see "desperate".
"Yes, but I…I owe you this much. You kept Evangeline from hurting me, and… killing me, so I'm going to keep them from hurting you." My voice is barely a whisper, and he doesn't respond right away. I wouldn't expect him to though, I had just reminded him of his betrothed, the girl he would probably be marrying right now if it hadn't been for me. If I hadn't waltzed into his life the night before Queenstrial, he would be happily running around on the war front with the Shadow Legion dealing whatever damage he saw fit to satisfy the demon that haunted those flaming eyes of his. I wouldn't be here though if I hadn't met him, I wouldn't know what I was, how important I was. Kilorn would most likely be dead on the front lines and I would be following him soon. My shoulders shake as I try to contain the sparks that want to be released so desperately that it almost burns inside me. Cal watches me with what looks like concern for a moment, but doesn't say anything. There's nothing he could say, and he knows it.
When I'm calm enough to speak without possibly shocking Cal, I whisper, "I owe you so much more than this though."
He scoffs softly and then murmurs, "you saved my life in the area, we were even long ago."
I let out a broken laugh and then manage through the knot in my throat, "Even? We're no where close to even. You saved me, my brothers… Farley, you could have killed her down in those cells, but you didn't, and I-I repaid you by trying to use you," my confession actually brings tears to my eyes as the pressure it had built up in the back of my mind is suddenly released in one passion filled statement. My voice drops an octave, and loses it's fire as I choke, "I'd say I'm sorry, but I doubt that will fix all of this."
He doesn't respond, but his hand slowly slips over mine which is resting over the water bowl while I glare daggers at it. He squeezes softly and the action brings more tears to my eyes, once more he's putting aside bitter misery to comfort me. I didn't deserve such affection from him, so I pull away and tuck my chin into my shoulder so he can't see my tears. He takes it as discomfort on my part and he pulls away as well, the wall sliding up between us again. I hate that wall, I hate what I have done to him, but I would do it again if it meant I could save what little remains of the Scarlet Guard.
After a few heart beats, I raise the towel and wipe at his brow again, my teeth ripping at my lip to keep it from trembling again. I wasn't a little girl anymore, I was a soldier like Cal, and if he wasn't crying about his situation, which was far worse than my own, then I had no right to cry. As I wipe at the dry blood, he turns those amber eyes back to scan my face and with the gentle whisper that he used in the moonlight room which felt eons away, he murmurs, "You have dark circles under your eyes."
My gaze snaps from his wound to meet his eyes which are watching me intently for my response. Immediately, I straighten my back, and continue wiping the wound, although I wasn't being as gentle as before. "Well you have a black eye and possibly a fractured nose," I grumble as I pull away to get a better look at my handiwork. He raise his brow in speculation and mutters something along the lines of it could be worse. He shrugs at his own speculation and my comment and then meets my eyes again. They soften again and and with a slight frown he inquires, "are you not sleeping?"
"Honestly Cal," in my frustration, I leap to my feet and thrown the towel on to the dirty stone floor before continuing, "You're bleeding everywhere, getting beaten, and you're worrying about whether or not I'm sleeping?" My voice breaks at the end as tears start to come again. It's not fair! He's not allowed to do that to me, to treat me like I'm above him. I should be the one asking if he is okay, not the other way around.
He watches my retreat with a skeptical brow and then replies in kind, "I figured it was just polite-"
I ram my fingers into my knotted hair and cry, "No, you're just bing the prince I-" I freeze before I can say the next few words, because in no certain way can I tell him that I had possibly fallen head over heels for my enemy. My hands slide out of my hair and around my arms where they hug my elbows tightly to my body while I turn away from him. He watches my back, and I can feel his intense stare, burning me alive. I wish he would though, I wish he would take out all his misery and frustration on me, burn me like the little devil I am. He doesn't speak though, he never says a word.
When the silence gets to be too heavy I whisper softly, "why don't you just break the chains and escape, Maven could do it."
He sighs heavily and then whispers, "they took my bracelets."
'Then melt the binders, I know you can do it!" I accuse as I flip around on him again. He watches me with tired eyes before leaning back against the wall and whispering, "then what? Where would I go, where can I hide that would be safe?"
"Find Julian, I don't know, just… just don't…" my throat closes up again and I barley finish, "just don't stay here. They'll kill you."
He smiles tightly and the fire lights up in his eyes as he replies, "I like my odds here better than the one's I would have if I leave."
My stomach churns and my nails dig into my arms as I look away from him again, suddenly aware of how much I'm embarrassing myself right now. He will see my weakness and use it, that's what we have become to each other, pawns for the other to use. But my turn is over, and I will never get another one, because Cal's too smart to let me have one.
The silence settles over us again, and I realize that our conversation is over, there's nothing else to say. Swallowing I back away from him and turn towards the door. I yank open the heavy door and turn the lights off. The torch lights spark outside sending long, dark shadows against the walls. I lean against the door handle for a second, trying to compose myself. When I have gathered what little composer I have left, I square my shoulders and put on my mask. As I go to leave though, Cal whispers gently to me from his shadowy corner, "I ruined you too."
Glancing at him over my shoulder, I see him curled up in the corner, one of his knees bent with his arm resting on it and his face shroud in shadows as he leans his head against the cold stone wall. I can still feel that burning gaze though, watching me with the eternal pain that had leached it's way into his soul in those cells below the Bowl of Bones. His gaze flints away from mine, and I take that moment to vanish and close the door.