Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket, Natsuki Takaya does…

50 Ways To Annoy Kyon-kichi Sohma

1. If he announces that he is hungry hand him a cardboard box full of LIVE mice.

2. Hang feathers and other assorted cat toys from the ceiling

3. Tie a bell around his neck when he's asleep; knot it so he can't remove it

4. Sing the meow-mix theme song every time you see him

5. Ask him if Kureno makes his cat senses hungry… (Kureno is a very edible sparrow)

6. Buy him a litter box and lock the bathroom so he HAS to use it

7. Feed him catnip until he is so hungry he eats it

8. Replace his bed with a 'Pet-Polly's orange bagel cat bed'

9. Place a goldfish bowl in front of him and ask him if it makes him hungry

10. Dump a bucket of water on his head

11. When he starts yelling reply; "What? It was all in the name of Sohma-Science, you just helped me prove that cats hate water!"

12. Buy him a bunch of wind-up mice; release them in his room one after another

13. Give Tohru a cat-care guide

14. When he yells at you reply: "What? It's to insure that your marriage will go perfectly, she'll know how to take care of you flawlessly~!"

15. Handcuff him to Momiji

16. Lock him in a room with Ayame and Shigure; lock the door and make sure it is impossible for him to kick down the walls, door, etc.

17. Suggest that they all sing songs by 'Aqua' and 'Toy-box', while they are locked in that room

18. Force him to watch Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse while locked in that room

19. Force him to watch Kureno and Akito make-out

20. Force him to watch Shigure and Akito make-out

21. Don't tell him Akito is actually a girl

22. Pants him in front of 'black-Haru'

23. Tie him to Arisa

24. Draw pictures of him and Shigure making-out

25. Make constant remarks about how much better Tohru's kids would turn out if she has them with Yuki

26. Ask him how many times he was dropped on the head

27. Say it was probably because his mom was hoping that whatever is currently wrong would be reversed

28. When he complains about that answer reply; "Fine I'll tell you the truth, *sigh*, she was trying to kill you."

29. Join him on the roof and start trying to rap about Ayame and his hair

30. When he yells about leaving push him of the roof

31. When he screams 'OW' say; "Oops, Sohma-Science myth number two proven wrong: cats do NOT always land on their feet.

32. Tie him to a drunk Hatori

33. Do bad imitations of Kazuma: "To be nice is to be a happy bumblebee"

34. Re-do the walls in his room with pink, kitten-covered wall paper

35. Call him 'fluffy' and 'princess'

36. Ask him if he's related to Edward Cullen since his eyes are red

37. Buy him a cape and tell him admit that he is a REAL vampire

38. Replace all his clothes with skin-tight jeans and T-shirts

39. Sell his underwear to Kagura

40. Sell his baby pictures to Kagura AND Yuki

41. When he coughs ask; "Can I keep the hairball your choking on?"

42. When Kyo get's mad, state; "Now Kyo, don't get into a hissy fit!"

43. Ask him if his favorite color is purrrrrple.

44. When Shigure walks in the door scream: "KYO, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE THERE'S A DOG!"

45. When Tohru suggests we play a game reply; "No thank you, I don't pay with people related to cheetahs."

46. Ask him if he is related to the Weasley's

47. Send Kagura a love-confession letter; sign it with his name

48. Send Kagura photo-shopped pictures of him and Tohru making out

49. Send Yuki photo-shopped pictures of Kyo playing Barbie's

50. Announce the official 'Hug A Kyo Sohma' day.

Authors Note: Ha, ha, ha! So much fun to write! Dedicated to Lady Lawless

Cheetah's are big cats, hence the joke…(I know that's pretty cheesy, tee-hee~!