He couldn't turn away from her beauty. A heavenly like glow around her as she cocked her head to the side glancing at the confused boy, her blue eyes piercing his green ones. He glanced away from the beauty standing only inches from him to the beauty on the bed. Both so different yet at the same time, both were so alike. Both had piercing blue eyes, one pair of blue eyes sad and beaten down the other pair shining brightly with love, affection, and plans of her future. One was a skeleton figure seeming like she'd blow away with the wind the other built like an angel, more than just skin and bones.

A look of confusion etched across the green eyed boys face. His dark hair was sticking up in every direction after a frustrating moment with his homework. He'd just gotten up to go to the bathroom and smooth his hair back down and calm himself so that his love on the bed wouldn't see his frustration and anxiety when he spotted the heavenly like figure standing in his way. He glanced back to the bed and his curly haired love didn't look up from her paper.

"Cl...Clare" He stuttered after a moment causing the petite girl on the bed focusing so intently on her English paper to look up and press her brows together in question.

"Hmm?" She hummed gently not picking up on his stuttering more focused on her home work than her boyfriends in ability to speak. He looked at her his eyes squinting together as he turned back toward the beauty still standing in his way.

"Do...do you…" He started but then he realized how insane he would sound if she didn't see anything. Imagine explaining that to your girlfriend 'oh I'm just seeing my dead girlfriend no biggie"

"What is it Eli?" She sounded agitated now that he had interrupted her. He felt his heart beat start to pick up, slamming against his chest. Great, he'd irritated her and that was the last thing he'd wanted to happen. He shook his head running his fist through his hair again tugging on it.

"Never mind." His words came out harsher than he had intended causing the blue eyed blonde haired girl on his bed to whip her head around and focus on him confusion and a slight amount of hurt in her flawless features. Though the pain on her face quickly turned to frustration and irritation.

"Ok, whatever you say," She rolled her eyes turning her head away from the man on his way to the bathroom. He let out a small sigh trying to calm down his heart beat but there was no luck. He turned to head back to the bathroom and the dark haired blue eyed beauty from before had disappeared; now he felt really crazy.

"Yeah….whatever…" He mumbled under his breath before opening the bathroom door and slamming it behind him tears starting to form in his eyes. He'd seen her again, the third time this week and with Clare in the room this time. She never said a word just stood there and looked at him that cute little cheeky grin on her face. He didn't understand why this was happening to him he thought he was getting better but maybe he wasn't.

He hunched over placing his hands on the counter next to the sink and pressing his palms firmly against the edge slightly causing him pain. He slowly looked up into the mirror to finally see his reflection. His usually bright green eyes were dim with concern, confusion, and pain. There were large bags under his eyes from lack of sleep the past two weeks; his cheeks were hollowing out because he couldn't eat with all the stress he'd been under with Fitz returning. His hair was sticking up in every direction and there were red marks on his face from dragging his nails against his skull and down his cheeks.

"What are you doing to yourself Eli?" He jumped her voice entering his ears sounding more like a soft melody. He closed his eyes shaking his head trying to push out the fact that he'd just HEARD her voice, he really was going crazy. Reopening his eyes he realized that he wasn't just hearing her she was in the mirror standing there a concerned look on her pale face. He brought his fists up to his eyes and rubbed violently until tears produced. "Elijah stop, I'm really here." She was desperate to make him snap out of it and see her.

"Julia?" His voice didn't come out very strong, it was more of a question even though he knew she was standing there in the mirror speaking to him, he had lost his mind. "That's it I've gone crazy." He let out a bitter laugh falling against the wall and sinking to the ground not wanting to make any contact with the mirror and just wanting to lie on the bathroom floor and never get up.

"Elijah you can't ignore me, I won't go away. You need me right now whether you are willing to admit it or not you need me."He violently shook his head accidently smacking it on the wall. She couldn't be real she couldn't be here…she was dead. She looked at him her skin was almost see through but not quite, her clothes were ripped and torn but the one thing that was different were the black wings attached to her back.

"Julia pleases, I thought I was getting better" His breathing hitched in his through as she reached out and gently touched his face. The feeling of her soft scared finger tips against his cheek bone spent a spasm of the most immense pain he'd ever felt through his heart though his brain enjoyed the soft touch. His heart wretched because He couldn't have her any further and he'd caused all those scars he'd allowed them to happen he was the reason she wasn't around anymore.

"Elijah, I know you love Clare but you can't depend on her for your sanity" He turned his head towards the ghost now looking at him in what seemed like desperation now. "You know that, it isn't fair to her…I see how much you love her and I'm happy you have her, I don't want to see you hurt her Elijah because you still blame yourself for my death." He shook his head again forcing back bitter tears trying to fall from his eyes.

"No! I don't depend on her. I don't deserve to be happy. You shouldn't have to see me happy." His voice was quiet as he slowly let a small sob shake his body. Julia's heart felt like it had been ripped into two seeing just how much pain her ex boyfriend was still in over her death. She shook her head touching his face again knowing that he enjoyed such a soft touch when she was alive.

"Eli, if you don't listen to me right now I will slap you, you know I'm not afraid to." There was a small smile forming on her lips as he turned to glare at her for the threat but instead of fighting he just drew in a deep breath and allowed Julia to speak. " You love Clare, I've never seen so much love in your eyes, she makes you strong enough to get better but as soon as Fitz came back into the picture you smoother her and that love that I see goes away, it turns into this protective driven monster and Eli you aren't a monster"

"But I am, I can't protect her, I couldn't protect you. I don't want to lose her Julia. I love her and it scares me." He had never looked Clare in the eye and told her he loved her. Sure he could look at everyone and say 'I love Clare Edwards' But he couldn't look her in the eye and say 'I love you' in fear she wouldn't say it back. He didn't want his emotions put out there only to be crushed.

"You are being ridiculous. I chose to leave that night in the dark. My life shouldn't be reflected on Clare. She loves you too and she just wants to help but she CAN'T help you like you need Elijah. You need to tell her you love her but you need help and I mean mental help like professional help. Or you are going to hurt her Eli and you aren't going to mean to. I don't want you to lose her as much as you don't want to." Why were her words making so much sense in his head? He wanted to shake his head tell her she was wrong but he knew better than that. She was right, he did need help more help than Clare could provide. He couldn't get help without knowing Clare was behind him though.

"I can't get help without her, if I lose her I don't want help I want to drown in my own mistakes." He admitted and the ghosts face became even more distressed as she shook her head. "I refuse to do wit without both of you." He said sternly causing Julia to let out a soft laugh and shake her head.

"I know Elijah…I know" she just grinned and was going to say something else but a soft knock echoed around the bathroom walls. Julia smiled gently and pressed her cold lips to Eli's forehead. "Talk to her Elijah, I'll be back don't you worry" she reassured before completely disappearing from his view. He slowly stood up and opened the door knowing he had to look worse than when he'd gone in.

"Eli? Are you ok?" Her soft voice met his ears sending chills down his arms. She wasn't looking up at his face she was still focused on his chest. He let out a small sigh and her blue eyes tilted up to make contact with his green orbs and a gasp fell from her lips. "You were crying!" she whimpered softly reaching her small hand up and brushing away his tears. Her fingers brought so much more warmth and joy to his heart than Julia's had.

"Clare…I need help, I need you to stay by my side but I need help…" A small smile spread across her face and it was sad but at the same time proud of him for finally realizing that he needed something more than she could give him. She leaned up on her tip toes pressing her lips gently to his pressing their foreheads together.

"Eli, I will always be here for you." She murmured gently against his lips holding him close. The soft ghost like figure appeared behind Clare and though Eli's arms were wrapped around her waist his head was on her shoulder and he gave the ghost a sad smile.

"Thank you." He whispered nodding towards the ghost who disappeared and then burying his face into Clare's neck "so much" He murmured finally feeling like it was going to be ok.