when i can't find the words, you teach my heart to speak
Gadge March Prompt: Bread
She knows something's wrong with Peeta when she finds him in the depths of the castle, in the kitchens, baking.
Peeta has always had an odd affinity for baking since he was a child. He could stay in the kitchens for hours, studying the palace's chefs and bakers and prodding them with questions. They answered him because he was their sovereign; they taught him to cook and bake because they loved him. Peeta always joked that if he wasn't a prince he would've been a baker and Madge heartily agreed—she adored his strawberry muffins.
Sadly, as he grew older, his royal duties increased and his time in the kitchen decreased until he was rarely seen in the kitchens at all.
However, whenever he was truly upset, angry, or agitated, he baked. He said to hell with his duties and stomped downstairs to the kitchens where he would spend the rest of his day baking and cooking. Many people, especially Peeta's mother, disapproved, but Madge thought it was a smart move on Peeta's part. It's not as though he would have made any well-reasoned decisions or got a lot done if he was emotionally compromised. Baking didn't hurt anyone—it was certainly better than other coping mechanisms that Madge knew other men partook in.
The week before his wedding to Katniss Peeta baked one week straight. Rumor had it on their wedding night part of his present to her were some of his baked goods, and while some scoffed at this, Madge knows that his baked goods are food of the gods and if this girl didn't see what a treasure Peeta was based on those cookies alone, the marriage was doomed.
Katniss doesn't know Peeta's tell like Madge does, otherwise Madge is sure she would be down here with him. It's only been a few months since their marriage, and Madge likes her cousin-in-law very much. Peeta is head-over-heels in love with his wife, and while Madge doesn't think Katniss is there yet, it's evident that she's getting there. Why wouldn't she love Peeta? He's the best husband any girl could ask for, and Madge knows that Katniss got especially lucky considering it was purely a political match.
It was Madge's lady-in-waiting, Delly, who alerted her of her cousin's presence in the kitchens.
"I wasn't sure if I should've told Her Highness instead," Delly said, referring to Katniss. She rung her hands and looked at Madge anxiously. "I know you know him better, so I just thought…"
Madge sighed. "In the future," she said, "it's probably best if you go to Peeta's wife before his cousin on such matters, but to be honest, I'm glad you came to me first in this instance."
Delly nodded solemnly. "In case His Highness's problem concerns his wife?"
Madge's lips twisted grimly; despite her cheerful demeanor, Delly was sharp. "Yes," Madge said simply, and left.
Now, in the doorway of the kitchen, Madge studies her cousin before making her presence known. He's frowning deeply as he kneads the dough. His shoulders are hunched, and although he's focusing intensely on his project, Madge can tell that his thoughts are elsewhere.
"Peeta," Madge calls, and her cousin looks up, his brow clearing.
"Madge!" He exclaims, pasting a smile on. "You're up early."
Madge eyes him warily. "Clearly not as early as you." His clothes are absolutely covered in flour.
Peeta gives a shrug. "Couldn't sleep," he says, turning back to his work with a forced nonchalance. His eyes dart back to Madge's though. He knows—they both know—the jig is up.
"What has happened, Peeta?" Madge asks with a raised eyebrow.
Peeta's hands freeze momentarily as he adds small chunks of cheese to divided balls of dough. "I—what do you mean, Madge? I told you, I didn't sleep well."
"And why was that?" Madge parries.
Peeta sighs. "Katniss's cousin Gale is here," he says wearily. "A surprise visit. Came in late last night. Dammit, Madge, I—" he runs his hands through his blond curls and Madge winces at the flour residue he leaves behind. He puts the buns in the oven and turns back to her. "It's been six months. I thought he was kidding. But clearly I've been lulled into a false sense of security."
Madge finds herself frowning. Granted, Seamlyn's future king was rude in carrying out his childish threat, but that doesn't explain why Peeta is so agitated.
"I understand your nervousness," she begins, knowing how heavily Katniss relies upon her cousin's good opinion—it rivals Peeta's dependence upon Madge's, "but it is not as though Gale can sever your marriage contract—" this was clearly the wrong thing to say, as Peeta gapes at her with wild eyes, clearly not having thought of this before, "and most importantly," Madge hastens to add, "Katniss is happy here."
Madge's face softens and her tone gentles at the obvious doubt on Peeta's face. "Peeta," Madge says, "I know Katniss is not the easiest person to understand, but I know she cares for you."
Peeta presses the palms of his flour-coated hands in his eyes. "But she doesn't love me," he says miserably. "I don't know if she ever will."
Madge's heart goes out to her cousin. "Katniss is cautious—reserved by nature," she says firmly. "It will take time! Do not give up yet, Peeta."
"I know," Peeta says lowly, his hands leaving his face, "I'm not giving up. I'm just having a moment, I guess," he gives her a weak smile as he takes the bread and buns out of the oven. "It's just… I love her so much, Madge. I wake up every day thinking how grateful I am that she's my wife, that I get to be her husband. I don't – I don't want to scare her away by telling her all of this, though. When I first told her I loved her a couple months ago she nearly ran away; I haven't said it since. I don't know what else to do, Madge."
Madge takes Peeta's hands before he can continue working and squeezes them. "Just be yourself, Peeta," she says. "Katniss is a smart woman; she knows how lucky she is to have you, too. She is close to falling in love with you. Watch how her eyes light up when you walk into a room; look for how she smiles at you when you tell a story; remember how she prefers holding your hand instead of tucking it into the crook of your arm. Peeta, if she doesn't love you yet, she will soon. I promise."
Peeta stares at her, open-mouthed. "How did you—how did you notice all of those things?"
Madge looks down, flushes a little with embarrassment and pride. "I've always noticed things about people," she says, "but—I just wanted to be sure, I guess."
"Be sure of what?" Peeta tilts his head in confusion.
"Be sure that you're happy," Madge says, "and sure that you're with someone who could make you happy, too."
000
It's not long after when Madge convinces Peeta to take Katniss some of his delectable homemade bread and cheese buns, and sets out to finish getting ready for the day. She's in a suitable dress for the day, but her hair is in a loosely gathered braid, gold, springy curls escaping.
For anyone to see her in this state…
"Good morning, my lady," comes a deep voice behind her.
Madge jumps and whirls around to see Katniss's cousin, Crown Prince Gale, leaning against a wall, smirking.
Madge touches her messy braid self-consciously. Like her, Gale is dressed for the day, and like her, his hair is wild. Unlike her, however, his wind-blown, disheveled look works for him.
"Crown Prince Gale," Madge recovers with a curtsey. "What a surprise. I had heard you came in late last night. Welcome."
Gale smiles at her, but again, it's more of a smirk. Madge is put immediately on the defense. He knows something. "How long have you been standing there?" Madge asks suspiciously.
"Whatever do you mean?" Gale raises an eyebrow.
Madge's eyes narrow. "You heard my conversation with my cousin."
Gale's eyes lock on hers and an unspoken contest emerges between them until Gale finally sighs, look away. "All right," he says. "I may have heard a little bit."
Madge's eyebrows raise in a way eerily reminiscent to Gale's mother and he admits, "I heard everything."
Madge scowls at his rudeness. "What right did you have to listen on our private conversation?"
"I didn't follow you here if that's what you're implying," he snaps back. " I was coming in from a morning walk when I heard my name," Madge notices that he does look sheepish, "and I heard Katniss's name as well."
"That doesn't change the fact that you, sir, are incredibly rude," Madge says, unwilling to back down. "Although I hope what you've heard assuages your fears concerning Peeta and Katniss's marriage."
Gale's lips twist. "I'll be the judge of that," he says coolly, "and I'll be able to tell just by looking at her."
Madge smiles at him, and he's confused by the lack of mockery or malice in it. "Then I assure you you'll find the exact same things that I described earlier," she tells him. "I have to wonder, Your Highness, if your cousin will intrude upon you unexpectedly once you are married."
Gale snorts. "I'm sure she will if her husband lets her," he snarks back. "But don't you think your cousin would do the same to you, my lady, upon your own marriage?"
"I have no doubt he will," Madge says, wincing a bit at the thought. Her aunt and uncle, Peeta's parents and her guardians, are in the process of arranging a marriage for her. Madge doesn't like to think of it.
Gale frowns at her wince and nearly asks about it, but Madge continues to speak. "I'll see you at breakfast, Your Highness," she curtsies. "I'm sure you can find your way back to your suite?"
Gale watches her go, a bit confused and awed, following the line of her golden braid down to her swaying hips. She's an enigma, that princess, just as much now as she was six months ago.
000
After two weeks encroaching upon the Mellark's, Gale must admit that his cousin does look happy here. He could simply ask her, he knows that, but she's not good at articulating her feelings and would only be embarrassed. It's best, just as Princess Madge did, to observe the newlyweds and how they interact.
Peeta is attentive to Katniss and clearly adores her. As a hunter, Gale can see that Peeta treates her akin to a wild animal, at times—he doesn't want to get to close too quickly otherwise he'll scare her away. Thinking back to Peeta and Madge's conversation, Gale remembers how Peeta told Katniss he loved her and has backed off since then. It's a smart move, yet Gale can't help but feel bad for Peeta. He's trying to be patient with Katniss, and Gale knows that many other men could care less about their wife's happiness, let alone if she's in love with him or not. Peeta is a good man.
Katniss is shy and bashful around him—reserved, but not hardened, like she was around so many other men who tried to court her. Her eyes follow him around a room; she smiles when he enters. Like Madge said, she likes to hold his hand, which has caused a bit of a scandal around the conservative court. She is clearly infatuated with her husband, if not in love with him.
Gale could've seen all this without overhearing the conversation between Peeta and Madge but it helped to know what to look for. He's pleased at the marriage, pleased that it's going well. The only thing he said to Katniss was, "If you're ever unhappy here, I will get you out of this, I promise."
To which she responded, with a secretive little smile, "Thank you, but I don't think you'll ever have to, Cousin."
They looked at each other and grinned; it was Katniss's way of saying she was happy and they both knew it.
Gale and Peeta spend the last day before Gale leaves together, strengthening the bonds between the future rulers. Gale likes to steer clear of Peeta's parents, anyway. His father, the king, is kind, but his mother is an ambitious shrew. Gale worried of her as a mother-in-law for Katniss's sake, but Katniss just gave him a smirk and said she and the queen came to an understanding a few months before.
Gale didn't ask what that meant, and wondered, fleetingly, if Madge knew, before dismissing the notion outright.
He and Peeta part ways before dinner, and he's on his way to his room when Gale hears two voices, female, speaking softly in a secluded cove. He stops beyond a corner when he recognizes them as Madge and Katniss. He knows, especially after last time, that he shouldn't be listening, but he was so busy observing Katniss and Peeta that he never observed Madge and Katniss, and is curious as to what their relationship is like…
"Peeta's been… distant, lately," he hears Katniss say, speaking slowly as is her habit when she's trying to find the right words to say. "I… you know him better than I do. Do you know—is there—is he not happy? With me?"
Gale peeks around the corner. Katniss looks miserable and pale, wringing her hands nervously. He sees Madge straighten, her hands in her lap. She fixes Katniss with a calm, even stare, but smiles reassuringly.
"Katniss," Madge says, "what do you think?"
"I—" Katniss swallows. "I know he loves me. He told me. But… I never said it back. What if he's given up on me? And it's not that I don't care for him—I just. I'm so confused. I don't want him to think I don't care. All my life, I never thought I'd have a marriage like this. A husband as—as good and wonderful as Peeta is. I wasn't prepared for him. I don't know what to think or feel anymore."
Madge is silent for a moment after hearing this outpouring of emotions. "I'm assuming you haven't told Peeta any of this?" She asks, although it's clearly rhetorical.
"No," Katniss admits quietly. "I should, shouldn't I?"
"Katniss," Madge takes Katniss's hands in hers, like she did to Peeta earlier. "I may know Peeta better as of right now, but soon you'll know him better. But right now, we both know how generous and kind and understanding Peeta is. I know if you told him what you told me he would understand. I know Peeta hasn't given up on you, but I don't think he understands you, yet. He doesn't want to scare you or push you away. What you need to do is let him know that it's all right to move forward… and that you want to move forward with him as well."
Katniss is quiet again as she processes these words.
"Thank you, Madge," Katniss says, and Gale can see her smile gratefully at her cousin-in-law. "I… I appreciate how kind you've been to me since I've come here. Peeta is a wonderful, of course, but I don't know what I would've done without you."
"You're welcome," Madge says, blushing. "It's been nice having another woman here my age."
"It will be hard to see you leave when you are married," Katniss sighs, and then frowns at Madge's flinch. "Oh, Madge, things will turn out, you'll see…"
Gale's brow creases again. Who was Madge going to be married to? And why is it so horrible?
"I know," Madge says cheerfully, and Gale can tell it's the same defensive mechanism that Peeta used earlier. "I'm sure of it. My uncle wouldn't let me be married off to someone terrible." What went unsaid was that her aunt surely would if she felt it would benefit the kingdom.
Katniss excuses herself and luckily for Gale, heads in the opposite direction of his hiding place. Gale stands in his place for a moment, watching Madge. She and Katniss were sitting in a little cove that had a bench next to an open window. The afternoon sun is hitting the top of Madge's head, illuminating her hair like a golden crown. She turns her face towards the sun and Gale's breath is caught. The princess of Merchantra is more then the spoiled, stupid princess he had thought her to be. Granted, she nearly immediately challenged those notions, but he's seeing her as more than someone who merely undoes his assumptions.
He nearly turns away when he hears her clear her throat. He freezes. "You can come out now, Crown Prince," Madge calls to him. "Your cousin has long departed to her room."
Slowly, Gale turns and makes his way over to her. "I'm impressed," he tells her as he stands before her. "Not even my cousin knew I was there."
Madge gives him a smirk. "It wasn't too difficult since I kept seeing you peeking around the corner," she says. "You're lucky your cousin was too distracted to notice."
Gale sobers for a moment. "That's true," he says. He bites his lip. "I didn't realize…"
Madge shrugs, seemingly unperturbed. "Katniss plays her cards close to her heart," she says, "you know that. She and Peeta just need to have a long talk and everything will sort itself out."
She gestures for Gale to sit, and after eyeing the close proximity for a moment, he does.
"Well, Your Highness," Madge says wryly, with a teasing raised eyebrow, "it seems your eavesdropping has done you some good, after all. You now have insight to your cousin's marriage from both parties. I can't say I approve of your methods, but they are effective, I must say."
Gale rolls his eyes at her airs, but can't help but grin. "Don't act so high and mighty with me, Princess. Do not forget that you too now have that same insight."
Madge snorts in a decidedly un-princess-like fashion. "Let's not forget, my lord, that it was you who wanted this insight, not I. I just happened to be the confidante in both situations, a role that, while I gladly endured, I did not ask for."
They're silent for a moment before Gale says, "I did learn a lot, however."
"Anything particularly illuminating?" Teases Madge.
"I learned a lot about you."
She turns to him in shock, her eyebrows raised high on her forehead. "Really?" She says. "Do tell." Madge is even more surprised to see him look a little flushed, as though he hadn't meant to admit that.
To his credit, he answers readily. "You're a good cousin and a loyal friend," Gale says, his eyes holding hers. "You don't meddle, but will give sound advice when asked. You're observant, smart, and kind. You don't prefer or need to be in the center of attention, but you're confident when it is placed upon you." His gaze changes into something warmer, and Madge wonders if he realizes how he's looking at her. "Whoever marries you will be a lucky man," he murmurs. "He will be getting a worthy partner, if he is smart enough to utilize you for all of your intellect and warmth."
If Madge thought she flushed before with Katniss and Peeta's praise, it was nothing to the enflamed sensation she felt now at Gale's perceptive, kind words. "You flatter me, Your Highness."
"Gale," he corrects her. "I think—given the fact that I think I've embarrassed you horribly—you can call me Gale."
She smiles at him, "And I think given the fact that you seem to know me fairly well now, you can call me Madge."
"Madge it is," he murmurs. "It's clear that you're someone I would always want in my corner."
Madge doesn't know what to say. Although she loves living with her family here, she is often overlooked. Her opinion doesn't matter for much—she's rarely asked for it, anyway. She speaks up if she has an obvious answer to a problem, but otherwise stays quiet. It's best for Peeta to work out things on his own. She won't be around forever, anyway.
"That's very kind of you," Madge says, glancing at him shyly. "I'm glad your opinion of Merchantra women has altered, somewhat."
Gale laughed. "I maintain that you are an exception," he teases, "but in all seriousness, I think I've misjudged the people of your kingdom, particularly your future sovereign. I don't think I'll need any more impromptu visits. My curiosity has been satisfied."
For some reason, Madge feels her heart sink at the idea of Gale not visiting. Over the past two weeks, she's rather enjoyed having him around. He and Peeta get along well, and The Court is pleasantly surprised by his manners and charm. Gale is defying stereotypes as well, Madge thinks. The reputation of Seamlyn has improved greatly since his visit.
He and Madge spent some time together as well—not as much as he did with Katniss or Peeta, but sometimes they'd run into each other and talk while on the way to their respective destinations. He sat next to her at dinner and while his attention was frequently elsewhere, he made sure to speak with her, and they both enjoyed it.
She would miss him, Madge realizes.
"But," Gale says slowly, and Madge re-focuses on him. "I still want to… that doesn't mean I—"
Is he flustered? "Gale?" She prompts him.
"Would you… would you allow me to write to you?"
Madge blinks. She wasn't expecting that. "Really?"
His skin darkens. "Yes," he says. "I… I've enjoyed our time together. I want to know you more. I like hearing your opinions and your perspective." Gale clears his throat, nervous. "I—if you feel that's inappropriate, or do not want to, I understand. It is unorthodox, I understand, especially by Merchantra's views—"
Madge cuts him off. "Gale," he turns to her fully. "I would very much like corresponding with you. I've enjoyed speaking with you, too, during your time here."
Gale smiles at her widely. "Excellent. That's—that's fantastic."
Madge thinks she rather likes this flustered, inarticulate version of the normally cool and detached Prince Gale. Madge turns her attention to the window and the setting sun. "I'm sure that it's dinner now," she says, and Gale immediately stands and offers her his arm.
"May I escort you to dinner?" Madge likes how his eyes are warm when he looks at her.
"You may," she murmurs, placing her hand in the crook of his arm. She has a sudden urge to abandon the crook of his arm and slide her hand down his arm and into his hand, lacing their fingers together like she'd seen Katniss and Peeta do countless times before.
Madge shakes herself, blushing.
It's a good thing that he's leaving tomorrow, Madge thinks as they sit down in the dining area, Peeta looking curiously at her. Gale helps Madge with her chair and she looks up just to see Gale looking down at her with a smile on his face. When he looks at her like that, it's hard to remember that although they may be friends, they can never be more.