I do not own twilight. Stephanie Meyer does. Any noticeable scenes and characters where created by her, this is just how I thought twilight should have happened. Please read, Hope you like it.
Bella's P.O.V: Devil in disguise
When I woke up all I felt was numb. I had cried so much the night before that I had physically and emotionally worn myself out. There was no point to life anymore. I didn't feel the pain or the grief. I didn't feel the sadness that comes with loosing a loved one. I didn't know how to feel anymore.
I am now a shell of the person I once was. I used to be so happy, bubbly. Nothing could ever bring me down from my high. But now. Nothing. I cant even bring myself to cry for my loss. I didn't even feel the guilt. It was all my fault and yet, I feel nothing. I didn't mean for her to die. Hell, I didn't mean for anyone to get hurt. I just momentarily lost it. I was so angry, so confused, that I let my emotions get the better of me. And now because of my lapse in control, my mother, no. I mean Renee, is dead.
I stare down at my hands in disgust. I'm a killer, a murderer, a sin that plagues this earth. I don't deserve to live, not after what I have done. Does god hate me? Is that it? Is he punishing me? If so then why did he curse me with this gift in the first place? Why did he make me 'special'? I've never been very religious but I cant come up with any explanation as to why am I am who I am. I didn't ask for this. I don't want this, this curse. I don't want to be the devil in disguise. I want to be normal. I guess that's to much to ask.
As I look around all I see is brown. Everything is so dry and so dead here. In the warm Arizona desert. It fits my mood perfectly. I look up to see a cloudless sky. The sun is out and it's shining down on me making a layer of sweat form on my skin. After looking back in the direction I once called home, I turn towards the great stretch of sand and begin my journey.
I could kill myself. End this. But I can't. I'm too much of a coward. So instead I will walk. I will walk until I can no longer walk because of dehydration. I will walk until I fear my legs will fall off. I will walk until a herd of hungry coyotes comes and eats me. I will walk to my death.
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