Pok'edmon: The Pilot Series
Chapter 2: Let's get Start'Ed
[Quick note. Characters are 18 in this story. Also, this fic in no way condones or praises the usage of Stereotyping]
[With Ed, Magby and Totodile]
Ed with the two incredibly stereotyped pokemon were in Ed's house eating, having completly forgotten the mission.
Ed then realised that in order to eat chunk puffs, he would need a spoon. "Spoon please!" he yelled as he went to the cutlery draw and pulled out…
A fork, a knife, a rolling pin, a salad tosser, a whisk, a cheese knife, a cleaver, a saw, a hammer, a Phillips head screwdriver, a spanner, a pair of pliers, a monkey wrench, another fork, a record for Igor Stravinsky, Turtwig, a spoon, a power drill…Wait! Turtwig!
Ed turned to see a grass turtle scoffing the organic yogurt. "Yay, I win!" Ed said as he scooped up the three the pokemon and sped of to Oaks Lab.
[With Double D, Elekid and Treecko]
Double D was half way up a tree, attempting to negotiate with a Chimchar who was stuck.
"Come on boy…" Double D said before being interrupted.
"Char!" Chimchar said indignantly.
"Sorry,… Girl?" Double D stammered. Chimchar still shook her head and blasted a fireball at Double D, who fell to the ground with a thump.
"(Yo-yo Plugman.)" Treecko rapped. "(It's all down to you and me to knock him some ghetto cred!)".
"(What?)" Elekid said. Treecko frowned slightly at the lack of communication between the two pokemon.
"(Yo, Yes, You, Miss C-Fire.)" Treecko said, seemingly incapable of speaking any language other than Ghetto Slang. "(Now's, you get down from that tree, or we is bustin' a cap in yo ass!)"
"(What's in it for me?)" Chimchar asked. Treecko grinned, flashing a set of serrated teeth.
"(Yo come down)" Treecko said. "(An' I give you an hour or so wit' da yellow dude.)" Treecko said.
"(Deal!)" Chimchar said as she climbed down the tree)"
"(Oh god no!)" Elekid tried to run but was jumped by Chimchar
[With Eddy, Rhyhorn and Cyndaquill]
Eddy and Cyndaquill were on top of Rhyhorn, who was trudging through the sewers. Eddy had gotten a call from both Ed and Double D saying that they had found their pokemon, so Eddy knew what he was looking for and where it might be. Thank you Double D for those Pokémonology Lessons.
Eddy had spent an hour in the sewers when he decided to lie down. Then his back touched something squishy.
"(Howdy there, Human Guy.)" Mudkip said. Eddy's attention snapped and he made a grab for Mudkip, who wiggled free thanks to its sliminess.
"Hey, come back here!" Eddy demanded. Eddy saw Mudkip, who scampered into a hole in a wall. "Rhyhorn!" Eddy said. "Bust it down!"
Rhyhorn nodded and rammed through the wall, to find Mudkip buried under a pile of bricks.
"(Help me!)" Mudkip squealed.
Eddy had Rhyhorn and Cyndaquill shift rubble to save Mudkip.
Normally, Eddy wouldn't give two shits about another creature's well being, but pokemon were different. To Eddy, Pokemon were equal to himself. Not higher, but pretty close.
Mudkip was dug out, and instantly jumped into Eddy's arms, sniffing.
"Come on Mudsy." Eddy said as he climbed on to Rhyhorn, with Mudkip on his shoulder. "Let's go home."
"(What a Douche!)" Cyndaquill said to Rhyhorn, who slowly nodded.
[Back at Oaks Lab]
The Eds returned with two starters each, Ed had Totodile and Turtwig, Double D had Treecko and Chimchar and Eddy had Cyndaquill and Mudkip.
"Excellent work boys!" Oak said. Oak frown slightly when he looked at the pokemon. They had all bonded, except for maybe Chimchar who was clearly more interested in sex with Elekid the than anything else, and it would be difficult to separate them. After all, Pokemon can only imprint on a person once.
"Look boys." Oak began. "I'm afraid I can only give you one pokemon each." Oak's voice trailed off, his eyes catching glimpses of the Pokémon's faces.
Totodile had bonded with Turtwig, and realised that they would be separated. Treecko hung his head, knowing that Chimchar was stronger than him, a that Double D would probably pick her over him. Chimchar, on the other hand, thought that she had made a bad impression on Double D and would not likely to be picked. Mudkip was tearing up, sobbing on Eddy's shoulder. Cyndaquill couldn't give to shits.
"But!" Oak began, knowing he was going to kick himself later. "I suppose I could…Just this one time…allow you to keep both." Oak sighed.
Both Human and pokemon were overjoyed. Totodile, Turtwig and Magby all jumped on Ed, bringing the burly boy to the floor. Chimchar was so overcome she almost kissed Elekid, with Treecko laughing hysterically and Double D furiously taking notes. Mudkip almost kissed Cyndaquill, but the fire type punched Mudkip, BAM, right in the kisser. Rhyhorn let a small smile escape his lips for about a nano second.
Oak saw the boys off as they returned there pokemon and ran to Double D's house.
At Double D's house, Double D went to the supplie closet, pulled out a sticky note and wrote
Dear Mother
I am writing to announce that I am going on a Pokemon Journey, and that I will be unavauble for the next year.
Yours Sincerely, Eddward Waters
Double D then led his less brainimated companions into the Garage, were sat, the gleaming, fixed-up, Retro Van.
Eddy ran head first and instinctively clipped himself into the driver's seat, clasping the wheel.
"Um, Eddy." Double D said. "What are you doing?"
"I'm driving the van! What does it look like?" Eddy asked.
"Let me see your wallet Eddy." Double D said. Eddy hesitated, but finally gave his friend the wallet. "Now let's see." Double D said. "You have a; Library Card, a Bite Card, a Social Support Number, a City Bus Pass and a Netflix membership that expires in six weeks. But you know what you don't have that I have. A driver's licence! Now get in the back!" Double D said smugly. Eddy was shocked that Double D, of all people, had successfully "one-upped" him.
Eddy's sadness, however, quickly dissolved upon the discovery that Double D had installed an Xbox and a Mini Fridge.
Double D put the stick-shift into drive and sped off into the highway to the tunnel that led to Hoenn.