Chapter Two: Forgiveness

The drive to Breadstix was short, but it was still enough time for Kurt to cease the watery display that he had just put on. Blaine parked towards the back and Kurt had already spotted Karofsky seated at a table, looking anxious and a little impatient. Once parked, together the two boys strode up towards the table where Karofsky was sitting their hands casually brushing up against each other, but not in obvious way to let anyone read too much into it. Even though Kurt was scrutinising the situation to death himself.

"Hello Dave," Kurt said politely seating himself down across from him. "I'm sure you remember my friend Blaine."

"Hi," Blaine said awkwardly looking as though he was unsure whether to shake his hand or not.

Obviously internally wrestling with this thought Blaine chose the second option and just sat down next to Kurt, his fingers brushing against his.

"Yeah," Karofsky nodded awkwardly. "Look thanks again Kurt, I really do just want to be heard out."

"Well in that case, by all means go ahead," Kurt said icily pulling forward the napkin that was in front of him.

Feeling the nerves and fear building in his chest, he began to pull apart the small piece of paper eying Karofsky warily.

"Okay…I-I guess I'll just start at the beginning then," Karofsky said awkwardly looking down at the now mutilated napkin. "First off I just want to say how sorry I am for…for everything.

"I guess I was fourteen when I first realised that I was… I thought there was something wrong with me, all that my friends did was talk about their girlfriends and how hot they were but I just couldn't see it. However when I saw–" Karofsky cut himself off, obviously battling with himself desperate to get the words out. "When I saw you I knew then the exact feeling my friends had been talking about."

Kurt's head snapped up, he felt a gentle squeeze on his knee. He looked over at Blaine, who was the master of poker faces and was staring at Karofsky expectant. Silently Kurt eyed the scared Karofsky urging him to continue, grabbing Blaine's hand under the table.

"Everyone always told me that being gay was wrong, so I believed them," tears were beginning to fall silently down his cheek anger filtering his eyes. "I just got so mad, I was angry. All. The. Time."

Pausing again, his breath caught as the boy almost broke down into sobs before them. Kurt was unsure of what to do. He immensely disliked this boy, he terrified him in fact but now he just looked so vulnerable. He thought about reaching out his free hand to hold Karofsky's but quickly disregarded that thought, the boy would probably reject his act of comfort and this whole dinner would have been for nothing. Instead he chose just to use words.

"It's okay Dave, we are here to listen." Karofsky's sad and desperate eyes made contact with his own, giving him the strength to continue.

"I had to maintain this jock type image, so people wouldn't begin to catch on. Then you, I saw you everyday and everyday my feelings just kept getting stronger. So eventually I snapped I didn't want to feel like that. You were a guy, I wasn't supposed to like guys. So I thought it was better to hurt you then get close to you."

"Wow talk about a crush tactic gone wrong," Kurt joked sourly all his feelings of empathy suddenly being replaced by anger. Blaine shot him a warning look.

"Look Kurt I know I was horrible to you I know you will probably never forgive me, but I just want to say that I will never hurt you again."

"Your words, are just words Karofsky," Kurt said bitterly. "Who is to say tomorrow I happen to walk by you and your bunch of neanderthal friends? What will you do then? Defend me? Or just stand back? Or perhaps even join in? We all know how much you love a good dumpster toss."

"Kurt," Blaine warned.

"No Blaine, I listened to his pathetic little story of how his coming to terms with his sexuality was hard for him. I get it. It's a hard thing to do, but you know what Dave! I had to listen to everyone telling me gay was wrong too, I endured all that but did I take out my anger on others? No. Did I go slamming Finn into lockers just because I liked him? What you did to me was wrong, it was cruel. So no I am not ready to forgive you, that day I do well lets just say I have a better chance of marrying a woman."

With that Kurt abruptly stood up, letting Blaine's hand fall limply to his side. The waitress had chosen the worst timing in the world to finally attend their table and almost crashed in him. Sensing that Kurt would probably deck the poor woman Blaine grabbed his arm and pulled him back down to sit.

"What can I get you guys?" she asked brightly, oblivious to Kurt's attempted furious exit.

"Just three cokes," Blaine said politely.

"Is that all?"

"Yes thanks, oh and make one diet for him." Usually Kurt would have been flattered that Blaine knew his order, but at the moment it irritated him.

The waitress didn't even bother to write down their order before scurrying off to get their drinks.

"I told my mom yesterday," the words were so quiet Kurt wasn't sure he had heard correctly. "Last night I sat down with her and told her everything. She was disappointed for what I did to you, but mainly she was just a little…"

"Scared?" Blaine offered.

"Yeah," he replied breathlessly.

A moment of silence fell between them. They all kind of looked away in their own directions all lost in thought about their own parents.

"What about everyone else?" Kurt asked tartly, breaking the silence.

"Kurt give him time," Blaine said slight impatience to his voice.

Kurt sniffed and looked pointedly away from him, he could almost feel the eye roll Blaine was giving him.

"Well my parents split, so I never see my Dad so I guess there is no point in telling him…I don't know how to–"

"Tell the entire school?" Kurt suggested helpfully, queen bitch voice still in tact.

"How did you..?"

"Well like you've said before everyone kind of guessed, I guess when a man dresses as fabulously as I do people seem to catch on," Kurt laughed humourlessly. "Basically I just stopped denying it. With you on the other hand…someone so far in Narnia as you well it won't be easy."

Karofsky nodded understanding small amounts of panic slipping across his facade.

"How did you come out?" The question was directed at Blaine.

Kurt felt the smaller boy tense beside him, he himself had never heard this story and found himself curious for the answer. However the way Blaine was rigidly sitting told Kurt it was something he didn't like to recall. Unthinkingly Kurt reached for his hand again, giving it a gentle squeeze of encouragement.

"I…um, would rather not talk about it if you don't mind," Blaine said carefully.

When did this turn into a gays support group? Kurt wondered absentmindedly.

"Okay," Karofsky nodded in respect before turning back to Kurt. "I don't know what to do."

Sighing Kurt stared at the boy he possibly hated. I am the better person here he assured himself, trying to ease the anger that was swelling within him. He thought about Blaine, fashion, performing in glee club and Gaga just to calm himself down.

That's it!

Sensing the sudden excitement Blaine looked over at Kurt, whose mood had oddly changed into that of ecstatic emotion.

"Kurt are you okay?"

"Gaga!"

"Okay, well I didn't think this conversation was going to make you crazy, but we can go if you like."

"No Blaine, Lady Gaga!" Blaine continued to give him the same confused look, even Karofsky began eying him weirdly.

"That's how you will tell them," Kurt turned his attention to Karofsky.

"How does telling the school I like Lady Gaga make them assume I'm gay? I don't even like Lady Gaga!"

"I'm willing to over look that last statement for now, however you will not tell them that you like her you will sing her!" Karofsky eyebrows shot up immediately, giving Kurt a you have got to be kidding me look. "Before you get your jock panties in a twist Lady Gaga has recently released a song called 'Born This Way', that is how you will tell them."

Kurt smiled to himself over his brilliant plan, he had listened to the song on repeat for days and the lyrics were perfect for him to sing.

Karofsky eyed him suspiciously, Blaine just shot him a you are insane type of look.

"And Blaine and I will sing it with you."

…

Kurt felt more confident and happier ever since he left the restaurant. Of course he was no where near ready to forgive Karofsky, but it felt as though a huge weight had been lifted. Smiling to himself he fell back on to his bed collapsing into the comfort.

"Are you sure about this?" Blaine asked for what felt like the hundredth time.

It was well past midnight, so Burt said Blaine could stay for the night because he wasn't entirely comfortable with idea of him driving so late.

"It will be perfect!" Kurt sighed happily. "Sure they may throw fruit at us, but at least Dave will get to express his true feelings and feel good about it."

"Woah they are going to throw fruit?"

Kurt rolled onto his side propping his elbow up for his head to lean on, and gazed at Blaine. Blaine looked…petrified.

"Wait…Blaine are you scared?"

"What? Don't be ridiculous!" His voice suddenly became higher as he crossed the room tearing off his jacket.

Kurt rose from the bed to go and stand beside him at the dresser. There was no doubt there was fear in the boys mind, it was so plain and raw on his face.

"Blaine if you don't want to do this, it's okay. Really I only dragged you into it so I wouldn't have to rehearse with him alone." Kurt took hold of Blaine's shaky palm giving it a gentle squeeze.

"No Kurt, it's fine really," Blaine said quickly. "Now, do you have anything I could wear I didn't actually prepare for a pyjama party."

Deciding to let it go for the moment, Kurt dove into his dresser to pull out a pair of sweatpants and an old McKinley hoodie.

"Here, these are the only things I am willing to lend you that your death won't be necessary if they pill." Blaine chuckled taking the fresh clothes.

"Would it be too much to ask if I could–"

"The towels are in the cupboard next to the kitchen," Kurt answered for him.

"Thanks," Blaine grinned heading back upstairs.

Kurt watched him leave, letting himself bask in the fact that Blaine was sleeping over. It was just going to be him and Blaine, alone. In his bedroom. Quickly in his mind he skimmed over topics in which they could discuss, desperately trying to find a lead that may eventuate in a topic about romantic relationships. Drawing a blank, Kurt sighed and melted back down onto his bed letting tonights events unfold in his mind instead. He thought about Karofsky for a while but really he hated thinking about him so he let his mind wander to the hand holding. Sure Kurt had been the one to initiate it but it wasn't as though Blaine had shied away from him, not to mention Blaine had taken Kurt's hand first before they had even reached the restaurant.

Urgh! Look at your life Kurt, look at the decisions you are making, you are analysing hand holding! He chastised himself.

Grunting angrily at himself Kurt changed quickly into his pyjamas and began on his moisturising routine. By the time he had finished Blaine was out of he shower and back in his bedroom. Kurt had to do a double take because Blaine's sexy damp hair was so curly without all of its gel.

"So we have a sofa bed upstairs," Kurt started desperate to distract himself from the incredibly good looking man in his bedroom. "Or I could set up some cushions on the floor here and we can have a cliche girly slumber party?"

"Don't you have a double bed?" Blaine asked confused.

"Well yes, I just didn't think you would want–"

"Unless you think it's awkward I can sleep on the fl–

"No, it's not awkward! We will sleep in my bed then."

The two boys stared at each other awkwardly for a few moments before making their way over to the bed.

"Do you have a particular side?" Blaine asked.

"No…the left."

Blaine laughed and got in the right side. "Good, because mine is the right."

Kurt sighed happily as he too got under the covers.

"Well goodnight Blaine."

"Goodnight Kurt."

Kurt was the first one to wake up in the morning and immediately had to prevent himself from squealing like a fanboy. Blaine's warm strong arms were wrapped around his waist and his face nestled comfortably in Kurt's hair. Kurt wanted nothing but to turn around and watch the boy next to him sleep, but the temptation of being the little spoon got the better of him. Lightly he took hold of Blaine's hand, pulling it up to his chest and let it rest there. Thankfully the boy didn't stir and Kurt just decidedly lay there pretending Blaine was his boyfriend for the moment and let his mind wonder over a dance routine for 'Born This Way'. He was in the middle of costume designs when Blaine finally stirred beside him.

Quickly but gently Kurt let go of Blaine's hand pretending to be asleep and that he was not at all moments ago thinking about an imaginary relationship between the two. Thankfully Blaine didn't seem to notice and only gently moved his face away from Kurt's neck slowly, his hand unexpectedly moving to his waste and gripping slightly tighter. Kurt couldn't help but move in excitement, therefore signalling to Blaine that he was now awake. Just as quickly as Kurt had been, Blaine withdrew his arm and moved away allowing Kurt to flip over and finally face the boy of his dreams.

"Good morning," Blaine smiled stretching his arms up above his heads, pointedly ignoring his previous position.

"Morning, did you sleep well?"

"Very well indeed," Blaine replied flipping himself over on to his side so he was now face to face with Kurt.

Kurt could feel the blush creeping its way into his cheeks but he couldn't begin to care. Blaine was in his bed, his hair all unruly and messy and was smiling back at him.

"Can I ask you a question?" Kurt asked regretfully breaking the blissful silence.

"Shoot."

"How did you you come out?" Blaine immediately tensed up like he had the night before and let out an exasperated sigh. "If you don't want to talk about it, that's fine." Kurt quickly back tracked cursing himself for ever asking.

"No, it's fine…it's just something I don't like to talk about." Blaine paused looking as though he was gathering the strength to continue. "It's actually more a guilty conscious than anything."

Kurt remained quiet allowing Blaine to talk in his own time. Sighing Blaine flipped onto his back and stared at the ceiling, his face crinkling in thought.

"When I was fifteen I tried being straight for a while…" Blaine admitted. "There was this girl her name was Ellie, she and I dated for about four months and I kind of always knew I wasn't that into her but I decided not to break up with her anyway. I only dated her because of a reputation. Actually, I was more into her brother." Blaine laughed humourlessly facing Kurt.

"I guess it was always in the back of my mind that I was gay but I never really wanted to accept it, that's why I kept up a relationship with Ellie for so long. Anyway we decided that it was time in our relationship to start having sex, it was her idea and everybody was doing it so I thought why not?'

"Everything was prepared; her parents were going away that weekend so we thought that was the best time to… I went to her house and she was caught up at work, her brother was there so I hung out with him waiting for Ellie to come back home. H-her brother and I…well we… we ended up making out on their couch and to me, in that moment everything seemed to make sense, it all seemed so right. Of course at the same time I was freaked out by the whole concept, not only was I cheating on Ellie but I was cheating on her with her brother."

Kurt watched Blaine intently studying his features, pain and regret clearly evident in the boys eyes. Suddenly Blaine reached out and placed his hand over Kurt's, tracing small patterns on the back of his fingers.

"Realising what I was doing I pulled away and all but sprinted to Ellie's room, he was gone by the time she got home. I was still pretty freaked out so I wanted to have sex with Ellie pretty badly when she finally got in the room. We got down to no clothing and she was ready but… I broke her heart in that moment, I don't know if she will ever forgive me. It was pretty horrible of me to tell her just before she thought she was going to lose her virginity that I was gay."

Kurt couldn't help but gasp, receiving a hurt look from Blaine.

"Oh Blaine I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like –"

"Kurt it's fine, I think pretty badly of me too for what I did."

"I don't think badly of you, I broke Mercedes heart too if that helps," Kurt supplied brushing Blaine's loose curls back with his free hand.

"I doubt you were about to deflower her though," Blaine laughed. "Besides Kurt if you were anymore gay I think you could give Carson Kressley a run for his money."

"Firstly, I am offended that you think I could never pass as a straight man, I'll have you know I played a very convincing straight man in my day. Secondly, did you honestly just say deflower?"

Blaine laughed at that staring at Kurt incredulously.

"Kurt you can't even attend the gym without owning a designer tracksuit, how am I to believe you could ever pass as straight?"

"My outfits were horrendous!" Kurt stated simply. "Deflower? Really?"

"Shut up," Blaine playfully punched his arm, which Kurt skill fully dodged.

"I'm sure she doesn't hate you," Kurt said all playfulness gone. "You can't help the fact that you were struggling with your sexuality."

"I just wished she saw it that way," Blaine smiled sadly. "The next day she pretty much went and told everyone in the entire school about me, before I had even told my parents."

"That bitch!" Kurt exploded all sympathy for the girl gone.

"Well I did break her heart," Blaine defended the words sounded false, bitterness creeping into his tone.

"I-is that when the bullying started?" Kurt asked carefully.

"Yes." The pain in Blaine's eyes were so clear now, that the boy had to furiously blink back the tears that were about to traitorously fall.

Uncaring Kurt rolled forward enveloping Blaine in a tight hug, lightly tracing circles on his back.

"I'm sorry Blaine."

"Don't be it's not your fault," Blaine's voice was muffled by Kurt's shoulder.

Regretfully Kurt pulled away to allow himself to stare into Blaine's hazel eyes.

"If you don't want to perform Gaga with me I understand," Kurt said solemnly.

"I want to…"

Kurt smiled and leaned forward to hug Blaine again, in which the boy gladly accepted and only pulled him tighter.

…

Kurt and Blaine practically spent their entire weekend together after their deep and meaningful in Kurt's bedroom, which had brought them that much closer. It wasn't until Sunday evening that the boys finally parted.

"I'll pick you up tomorrow morning," Kurt promised as he walked towards his car.

"You bring the coffee and I'll bring the bagels," Blaine called out after him.

When Kurt arrived home, he was surprised to find his home half full of bodies.

"Finn what's going on?" Kurt asked looking around cautiously at the jocks that resided in the living room. He spotted Karofsky immediately.

"Usually Puck hosts the usual Sunday football guys extravaganza, but he had his sisters birthday on so I figured we could have it here," Finn said simply pointing obviously at the loose pizza boxes and cans of drink.

"Does Dad and Carole know?"

Burt and Carole had decided to go out to dinner that night to celebrate their six month wedding anniversary and probably weren't going to back for a while.

"Well not exactly…but it's not like a party it's just us hanging out, becoming better team mates and stuff. Coach Beiste said we needed to do it."

Kurt noticed some of the jocks giving him filthy looks, which he ignored. He figured that they were all probably trying to control their usual slurs.

"Fine, but if Dad has a fit I was never here," Kurt stated before heading into the kitchen to start cooking dinner for himself.

He was halfway through marinating his chicken when a soft voice interrupted his silence.

"Hey Kurt," Karofsky said entering the kitchen cautiously.

"Hi Dave," Kurt replied politely with only a slight bit of ice to his tone, his gaze never leaving his chicken.

"So I was wondering…had you come up with a routine for that idea of yours?"

"I've been thinking about it," Kurt replied earnestly, it wasn't entirely untrue.

He had spent the majority of his weekend imagining kissing Blaine, his thoughts had only occasionally trailed to dance routines.

"Cool, well I was wondering when you wanted to start practice?"

Kurt looked up from his chicken to finally stare at the boy before him. Karofsky's expression read most definitely hopeful, but also there was small amounts of endearment flickering in his eyes.

"Dave…" Kurt began unsure of how exactly to phrase his next sentence.

"Yes Kurt?"

"Y-you know…you know you ruined any chance of us, being anything more then…" Kurt trailed off, what was he meant to say? Friends? Kurt wasn't sure if he was ready to forgive Karofsky let alone label him as a friend. "Associates." Kurt finished hesitantly.

Hurt flashed across the boys face but he quickly shrugged it off.

"Y-yeah, I-I know."

"What's going on in here?" Finn suddenly asked standing at the doorway, panic and anger playing across his features.

"Finn, relax Dave was just helping himself to some water," Kurt lied smoothly.

Finn eyed Karofsky suspiciously, never faltering from his ready to strike stance. Although deeply touched by his concern, Kurt ignored him and continued cooking. Karofsky poured himself a glass of water, purely to follow through with Kurt's lie. When Karofsky finally left the kitchen, Finn immediately strode over to him.

"Kurt I'm sorry dude, I didn't realise you were going to be home when I suggested we hang out here. I figured you would be with that Blaine guy."

"Finn, it's fine," Kurt told him earnestly.

"No really Kurt, I know what he did to you–"

"Finn, when I tell you it's fine I really mean it, okay?"

The look Kurt was giving him shut Finn up so he just nodded and retreated to the living room with the rest of his team mates.

When Kurt was finished with his dinner he retreated to his bedroom, noticing he had two missed calls and a text on his phone. Who would want to speak to me this desperately? Kurt wondered picking up his phone and entering his list.

Missed Calls (2) : Blaine

Text (1) : Blaine

Kurt immediately opened up the text, worried that something was severely wrong.

From: Blaine

Just wanted to wish you good night but I guess your busy :)

xx

P.S I'm feeling crazy and in the mood for a latte

Kurt's heart immediately swelled at the message, it was so simple yet it had him swooning for what felt like hours. Eventually he replied with a quick explanation and witty remark, before he was on the phone to Mercedes both trying to decipher the cryptic message.

"He obviously likes you."

"That's what I thought last time before I got burned," Kurt pointed out.

"Well, why don't you ask him out?" Mercedes all but whined from the receiver.

"I can't just ask him out Mercedes." Kurt sighed. "I placed all my cards on the table at Valentine's Day he knows how I feel about him so if I went and asked him I would seem desperate."

"I guess…but what is love if you don't take any risks?"

"Urgh goodnight Mercedes!"

"Aw come on Kurt you know I am right!"

"It's almost ten thirty and I need to start on my moisturising routine," Kurt said with finality.

"Fiiine," Mercedes groaned. "You better tell me all the juicy details for when you finally do muster up the damn courage to ask him out though."

Kurt smiled at Mercedes choice of words. He did need courage, but he had no idea how he was going to muster up enough of it to explain to Blaine that he wanted to be more then friends.

"You know I will, goodnight."

"'Night."

Kurt hung up his phone and tossed it on his bed. Realising he left his pyjamas in the laundry, he went back upstairs to go and retrieve them almost crashing into one of the jocks that apparently were all still there. Kurt apologised immediately before attempting to continue on is path.

"Yeah you better watch it homo," the jock sneered, his voice coming out harsh and threatening.

The all too familiar fear made its way back into Kurt's chest, but refusing to be the victim Kurt stood his ground.

"Yes, because a empty threat from a meat head such as yourself really frightens me," Kurt lied smoothly, channelling his fear into anger.

"You better watch your mouth Hummel!" The jock growled. "If you weren't scared then why did you go to the gay school Dalton? Or was it just so you could hang out with more of your butt buddies?"

The fear was becoming too much for Kurt, taking an immediate step back he began to retreat back towards his room. In my own house? He thought angrily, tears welling up in his blue eyes.

"That's right homo, you walk away. Maybe you should do the world a favour and let the world have one less filthy fag–"

Whatever else he planned on saying was cut of by a sickening crack . Kurt looked up and saw Karofsky and the jock in a fist fight, each slamming the other in the wall trying to get in a punch.

"HEY! WHAT'S GOING ON?" Finn roared entering the hall, a few of the other footballers followed trying to pull apart Karofsky and the jock. The boys were finally separated, both covered in bruises and cuts blood in patches over their faces.

"He started it!" The jock yelled pointing to Karofsky, who made another move at him but Azimio held him back.

"That's because you were being an ass!" Karofsky spat back.

"What the hell Karofsky? I thought you hated that fag just as much as everyone else?"

"What, did you just say?" Finn asked angrily turning on the bleeding jock.

"You heard me Hudson, you're just as bad as he is," he flicked his head in the direction of the shocked Kurt who stood motionless in the corner. "You're a fag lover so you may as well die along with the rest of them!'

In a flash Finn's fist was colliding with his jaw, until Mike finally pulled him off.

"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!" Finn yelled struggling against Mike.

"Fine," the jock sneered, shaking off the restraining hands and slamming the door behind him.

A few of the players exchanged awkward glances, all a bit unsure of what to do. Feeling it safe to do so Mike and Azimio finally let go of Finn and Karofsky. Finn was immediately by Kurt's side and placed a tender hand on his shoulder.

"You okay buddy?"

"I-I think so," Kurt mumbled, still slightly in shock at the events that just unfolded before him. Finn smiled at him, before patting his arm and making his way into the kitchen. A lot of the boys decided to call it a night only Sam, Mike and Karofsky choosing to stay.

Finn was in the bathroom cleaning up his bloody knuckles, whilst Sam and Mike remained in the lounge room cleaning up the mess.

"Come on," Kurt said shakily to Karofsky. "I'll get you cleaned up."

Kurt motioned for Karofsky to sit down at their kitchen bench whilst he went to fetch a first aid kit. The jock had gotten in quite a few shots at Karofsky's face, his eye was beginning to bruise already and a cut above his eyebrow was leaving a trail of blood to run down his cheek.

"Thank you…for what you did in there," Kurt said awkwardly wiping up the dried blood.

"Don't mention it, that bastard had it coming to him anyway," Karofsky shrugged, flinching a little as Kurt dabbed his cut.

"I guess you proved me wrong then," Kurt laughed humourlessly.

"In what way?"

"Your words are no longer just words," Kurt stated.

"I guess not."

With that Karofsky smiled, and Kurt couldn't help but smile back. For the first time, Kurt decided to consider the thought of forgiveness.