A/N For everyone who left a review asking for more. Hope this will suffice...
Coming to, his eyelids heavy and anchoring him to the darkness, his first thought was that he felt cold. For a few seconds he wondered if he was still outside of the courthouse, on the ground and bleeding profusely, the concrete beneath sucking all the warmth out of him, but then he realised that there was no pain. Getting shot had hurt; it'd been unlike anything he'd ever experienced before, even at his father's hands, and far more painful than the bruising his ego had taken at being so completely wrong. When he'd turned down the offer of protection he'd genuinely believed that the threat wasn't credible enough to warrant his every waking second being shadowed by officers of the NYPD, some of whom would have probably balked at such an assignment. He had been careful though, they all had, right up until Liv had tracked him down, seemingly intent on continuing an argument he'd spent most of the afternoon avoiding. Distracted by her and their conversation he hadn't realised that there was a man striding towards him, withdrawing a gun from the inside of his jacket, until it was too late. His only thought then had been for Liv's safety; he'd have taken every bullet in that gun if it had meant she'd remained unharmed.
A beeping sound registered, along with a gentle hum, adding evidence to the thought that was taking shape in his mind: he'd actually survived being shot and was now in a hospital. With that realisation he fought harder to regain all of his sense and that was when he felt it. There was a hand in his own; it was warm and soft and for a second he was back outside of the courthouse once again, holding on to Liv's hand and telling her that he loved her. He groaned at the recollection though it came out as more of moan; either was appropriate, given what he'd said to her. Liv might not have responded to his declaration as he'd always suspected she would but that was only because there had been little room for awkwardness with her crouched over him, her hands pressing against the bullet wound in his chest and his blood staining her skin. It had probably stopped her from running away in horror too. It might not have been the perfect time to finally tell her how he felt but he had genuinely felt that it would be his last chance. Plus, he'd realised that he'd never have to face the consequences, would never have to feel her rejection and then watch their friendship slowly wither and die. Only... now he would.
It took a couple of attempts but he finally managed to open his eyes, the harsh lighting above him making it a more arduous task. It was completely worth the effort though because she was there; Liv was at his bedside, holding his hand and gracing him with the most beautiful smile he'd ever seen. Maybe he had died and this was actually heaven rather than a brightly lit hospital room. He silently thanked the God he wasn't always sure he believed in for saving both his life and his friendship with this woman as he struggled to find his voice, swallowing thickly to clear the lump that had formed in his throat. She beat him to it though.
"Hi," she said softly, her hand tightening around his.
Still struggling to find his voice he smiled at her instead, his relief at her presence almost overwhelming. She must have travelled with him to the hospital, or followed the ambulance, and then waited for him to come out of, and come round from, surgery because she was still wearing the same clothes, minus her jacket which was hanging on the back of her chair, as when he'd been shot. He briefly wondered how long ago that had been and how she had managed to talk her way to his bedside, before realising that her smile was slipping into what looked like concern, possibly because he'd not yet said a word. "Hey," he managed to croak in response and then smiled again because he really was happy to see her.
The smile returned to Liv's mouth too as she asked, "How are you feeling?"
"Like an idiot," he replied, his voice stronger than before. Physically, he actually felt pretty good considering he'd just been shot; whatever painkillers they were pumping into him via the cannula on the back of the hand that Liv wasn't holding were pretty effective. He still felt cold but that was possibly because his chest was exposed, presumably for ease of access to the wound that a large dressing was covering and the wires that were attached to him. Mentally though, he was kicking himself for being so open with her outside of the courthouse. His feelings for Liv, which had been almost antagonistic in the beginning, had grown so slowly, and so intensely, over the years that when he'd finally realised he was falling in love with her it'd been too late; they'd taken root and there was nothing he could do other than try to bury them deeper down. They were already friends by that point and he wasn't going to jeopardise that by admitting feelings that he knew would never be returned. Not until he thought he was going to die, anyway.
"For not taking the threat seriously?"
"Yes," he agreed, letting her have that; he'd probably never hear the end of it anyway. But there was something else that he wanted to set straight, "And for telling you how I feel."
He felt her grip loosen on his hand as she spoke, "You didn't mean it."
All he'd wanted to do was apologise; regardless of the circumstances, he'd told Liv that he loved her knowing full well that she was in a relationship with another man. It hadn't been fair on her at all. He'd had no intention of retracting his declaration but she'd taken it that way - and the surprise and disappointment that had accompanied her words seemed to suggest that she wasn't pleased he was trying to take back those three little words. It struck him as odd because she'd been quick to brush them off when he'd first told her and he'd assumed that was the reason why she was here now, why their friendship was still intact and not some awkward mess that could never be salvaged. He wasn't sure if it was the drugs, or his own desperate heart, but it occurred to him that he might have this completely the wrong way round. Maybe he'd always been completely wrong about this. "I meant it, Liv," he said sincerely, watching her face carefully. There was a trace of a smile in response and her hand closed over his again. Still not entirely sure that this was proof his hypothesis was correct, but figuring he could blame the drugs if he was completely wrong, he added on, deliberately framing it as a question, "But I shouldn't have said anything because you're with someone else. And you don't feel the same way…?"
"I've spent all night thinking about both of those things and… I think I've been the idiot," she whispered to him. "I started seeing Tucker even though I have feelings for you."
His heart seemed to beat faster in some sort of triumphant celebration whilst his brain struggled to digest her words and all he could manage to say in response was a rather disbelieving, "You do?"
Olivia nodded, stroking his hand with her thumb, the gentle ministrations travelling all the way up his arm and into his chest, pooling there and finally chasing away the cold. "But they scare me, Rafael. We're friends. We work together. What if we ruin everything?"
He sobered a little at her concerns; she might have confessed to returning his feelings but there were reasons why she hadn't acted upon them before - if they started a relationship there would be some inevitable consequences. He'd never really given it much thought because he'd never really believed it could happen but if it came down to her or his job then he knew that Liv would win every time. And, if he was being completely honest, the same would apply to their friendship; he'd told himself that he could be content with just being her friend but he'd been fooling himself. The jealousy that had torn through him when he'd realised that she was seeing Tucker was proof of that. He'd settled for friendship, accepted her relationship with another man, because he'd thought that was all he'd ever have but if there was even the slightest chance that he could be with Liv, and it seemed that there was, then he was willing to risk it all. He wanted to be with her; her and Noah.
He smiled at that last thought and then at Liv. He'd always assumed, and had even hoped because he'd thought that it would have been the easiest outcome, that his feelings for Liv would fade when she'd started fostering Noah. He'd never envisioned himself as a father and had very little experience with small children but that hadn't happened. Seeing Liv with her boy, watching her juggle work and motherhood, had only made him love her more. He caught her thumb with his own, stilling her ministrations, "What if we spend the next forty years making each other very happy?"
"Forty years, huh?" He was rewarded with a beautiful smile again before she added on, "I'm going to hold you to that."
"You can hold me any way you want, Liv," he grinned at her, the little tentative steps they were taking towards each other feeling better than the drugs.
When she laughed in response he silently vowed to spend the next forty years doing all he could to make her repeat the action. "I think you're going to be out of commission in that respect for a while. But there is something else we can do," Liv said softly, before rising to her feet and leaning towards him. When her lips brushed against his in a gentle kiss he felt as if he really had died and gone to heaven.