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Chapter 2: What what what!

At South Park Elementary, half of the 4th grade class was asleep as Mr. Garrison was giving a lame lecture. "People are stupid," he said, "especially kids. They don't think, and do stuff stupid that would get them hurt. Like walk backwards, or jump off a building."

"Mr. Garrison?" Kyle asked as he rose his hand.

The teacher sighed. "What is it Kyle?"

"I don't think kids would jump off a building."

"Ptt, only the stupid Jews would," Cartman said silently, that only Kyle could here him.

The Jew gave him a glare, but before he could say anything, the teacher spoke up.

"It's just an example, Kyle. Besides, I'm sure at least one of you would be stupid enough to do something like that."

The kids looked around, wondering what kid would do such a thing.

"Now, I..."

The bell for the day of school to end finally rang.

"Oh, class dismissed."

Everybody started walking out of the class to their lockers.

As Kyle went through his locker, he suddenly heard a familiar and annoying voice.

"Hey Kyle!"

Kyle rolled his eyes as looked at the fat boy coming up. "Hey Kyle, I bet you couldn't climb a whole mountain," he said as he came up to him.

"Oh Cartman, would you shut up?" He kept going through his locker.

"Why? It's fun to make bets with you, Kyle."

"Why can't you do a bet with somebody else?"

"Because you're more fun to harass."

"I'm not climbing a mountain, Cartman. That's stupid."

"Ok fine."

"Thank God." The Jew finally got his backpack ready.

"How about a race?"

He then turned to Cartman and looked at him curiously. "A race?"

"Yeah, the two of us. Today."

"I don't think so, Cartman. I have homework."

"Oh come on, you're smart, and can get it done fast!"

Kyle was about to reply to that nice comment, but he sighed. "Look Cartman. I just think it's a waste of time." He then walked away.

Cartman watched his friend with a glare, and then walked to his own locker.

At Kyle's house

Kyle sat at his own desk in his room doing homework. He really was a smart kid, and very organized. He knew that the perfect time to do homework, was to get it done right away, so he would have more time after to do whatever. And because of his smart and sensitive mind, he got could grades, mostly A's and B's. And besides all of that, he was a very funny, witty, and optimistic boy, even though he wasn't quite as assertive and mature as his best friend, Stan.

"Kyle, bubby, how are you doing?" Sheila asked as she came in her son's bedroom.

"Ok," he replied. "I'm almost done with my homework."

"Well that's good. Dinner's ready, and I want you down soon."

"Ok." He got back to his homework as his mother left the room.

After dinner, Kyle took his little brother, Ike outside to play. They were both tossing a football to each other, even though it was completely knocking over the Canadian three year old down. Kyle, at first thought it was funny, but he got bored with it, and decided to do his favorite game with his brother.

The Jew gave an evil grin at his brother.

"Uh-oh," Ike nervously said.

"Kick the baby!"

"Don't kick the baby!"

But it was too late. Kyle kicked his little brother, who went high in the air, and landed on the ground, 12 feet in front of him. He started laughing at his little brother, who easily forgave him, as always.

"Hey Kyle!" a familiar voice exclaimed.

Kyle and Ike looked over, and saw that it was Cartman on his Big Wheel.

"Kyle, come on, let's race."

"Cartman, I said no!" he replied.

"No," Ike repeated.

"Oh what, Kyle. You chicken?! Is the stupid, chicken Jew afraid?!"

"I am not afraid."

"Then get your Big Wheel. Let's race!"

"I'm kind of busy, Cartman!"

"What, too busy playing with your Jew Canadian brother? That's stupid, like your stupid Jew self."

"Enough with the Jew cracks!" Kyle had his fists in front of him.

"What did you say?"

"I said enough with the Jew cracks."

"You want me to stop the Jew jokes?"

"Yes! I thought you know that for almost two years!"

"Ok, I'll stop if you race."

Kyle got confused. "What?"

"If I win the race, you have to give me 50 dollars. If you win the race, I'll stop with the Jew cracks."

"You...you mean that?"

"Sure. But what ever, you wouldn't win anyways. Besides, you're too chicken anyways."

Kyle glared. "I AM NOT CHICKEN!"

"Then lets go, Jew rat."

"Fine." So he went to his garage and got his Big Wheel before telling his little brother to stay still. As he got on next to Cartman, the fat boy started explaining the race.

"Ok," he started, "it's really simple. We drive all the way down to that tree, go around it, and come back. Simple enough for you?"

"It's fine," Kyle replied, ready to race.

"Ike will blow my new whistle, so we'll know when the race starts."

Ike held Cartman's whistle, ready to blow.

"You know, maybe we should do another bet after this. Oh, unless you're too scared."

"I'm not scared, Cartman," Kyle replied with a glare.

"Ok, then I bet you couldn't jump off a building."

"Are you insane!"

"Are you chicken?"

"No way. It's a deal." He shook Cartman's hand, and then got ready to race.

"You ready, Ike?"

"Ready," the three year old said, and soon blew the whistle.

And they were off. As they were racing, they would insult each other, trying to slow each other down or make them angry.

Kyle finally got in front of Cartman, and was heading for the tree. "I'm gonna win, Cartman!"

Cartman gave a worried look on his face, as Kyle kept going.

"Almost toward the tree," he said to himself.

Cartman then reached for his pocket, and pulled out a small sac of nuts. He then through it toward the tree, as Kyle was almost there.

But before Kyle got there, three squirrels ran in front of him, which caused him to go out of control, and crash into the tree.

Cartman evil laughed as he got ahead, and went around the tree and back.

But Kyle ignored the bragging, as he looked down, and saw that there was a hole in his pants. And then he found a big scape. It started to really sting, and he tried to relax as he closed his eyes. But it was just too painful. "Ahh!" he said softly.

"Haha!" Cartman bragged, as he got to the finish, and looked back at Kyle. "I beat you, Kyle! You owe me 50 bucks!"

"Oh no, Kyle," Ike said. "Kyle!" He ran down to him.

"What's going on out here?!" Sheila exclaimed as she came outside.

"Oh hey Mrs. Broflovski," Cartman sucked up to her. "We were just having a race."

"Oh my god!" Kyle's mother exclaimed, as she ran down toward Kyle and Ike. Cartman then ran after he.

"Kyle, what happened?!"

"I just ran into the tree, mom," Kyle replied, as he held his knee.

"Look at your knee! You have a scrape! Are you crazy?!"

"We were just having a race, mom."

"Yeah," Cartman said as he came up. "And I won, so you owe me 50!"

"50 what?" Sheila asked.

"50 dollars." He then walked up to Kyle. "And it sounds like you didn't get your wish, Kyle."

The Jew sat there, glaring at the fat boy.

"You're a Jew. And you will always be a Jew! And since you lost, I can make fun of you for being a Jew forever!"

"What what what?!" Sheila exclaimed.

"Aww, look at you. Jewish Kyle, and his stupid Jew mother and brother all together. Isn't that sweet. This could be a good picture." He took his camera out of his backpack, and took a picture.

Sheila angrily stood up. "How dare you make fun of our religion! Eric, it isn't right to do that! I'll have to talk to your mom about this."

"Come on, Mrs. Brovloski. Kyle is the only Jew kid in South Park. There's a perfectly good reason to rip on him."

"What what what?! Kyle, Ike, in the house!" She then picked up Ike, and walked away with Kyle, who did his best on his feet.

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