Hans von Hozel: Tara
Disclaimers: Bill Compton and Tara belong to Charlaine Harris. Alan Ball deserves kudos (maybe?) for the version of the characters represented herein.
Tara was making a kickboxing across the woods.
"Ohnobitch, noyoudidn't." Tara cried.
Angry face, Tara made a mad. His friend Skokie was sexing with a bad vampire with a big wang.
"I hates wang!" he cried.
Kick, kick, kick. He danubes through the cemetry.
All of a sudden, vampire-douchebag!
Bill, Queen of the Bon Temps and Aballsasskissya, danbues from the trees.
Tara crazy eye. "What the hell are you doing here?" he scream.
"Ah vampire. This cemetry is next to mah house."
"Ohnobitch, noyoudidn't." Tara cried
Tara grabby grabby a stake gun out of his penis free holster.
Bang bang. He shoots Queen Bill.
Queen Bill, sad face, crying and falls down.
"Yeek!" she screeamed. "Ah'm being killing bah a Crazy Eyed Lesbian Kickboxer."
The Queen is dead. Long live the Lesbian ?
Tara turn gun on himself and shotts himself dead.
AN: WTF is wrong with me? My apologies to Hans as I suck at this.