Disclaimer: I Don't Own OUAT
August woke up smelling eggs and bacon. As he walked into the kitchen he saw Gepetto fixing breakfast while Jiminy set the table. He set a third place for him. It shouldn't surprise him; he knew that Gepetto and Archie had breakfast together all of the time. They were best friend's pre curse being broken and Jiminy always joined them for breakfast in the Enchanted Forest.
"Papa?" August asked feeling like a little boy when saying it but it was what he always called him.
"Pinochio, you're up. I'm glad. We made breakfast. Are eggs ok?" Gepetto asked meekly.
"Yeah, they're fine." August said sitting. It would take some adjusting to wake up and eat breakfast with his father and his father's best friend.
"I am glad you are okay." Jiminy said sincerely.
"Thanks." August said while staring at his food.
Of all of the people from the Enchanted Forest he dreaded meeting the most, it was Jiminy Cricket. Of course he was afraid of the disappointment of Gepetto and the Blue Fairy but Gepetto was there before when he was a puppet. He saw him fail before. He was there to lead and guide him and he still failed. He messed up at every opportunity he had to make the right choice. He succumbed to temptation every time it was presented to him. It was like his whole life just repeated what his puppet life was like. He made wrong choice after wrong choice until he did one grand gesture of bravery and then he was saved. His failure shouldn't surprise Jiminy in the least.
"Pinochio. You're father told me what happened. I am proud." He said with his sensitive voice.
August slammed his fork down and said, "Don't even pretend with me cricket."
"What?" Jiminy asked surprised but unrattled, not much could rattle him.
"I know you're not thrilled that history repeated itself." August said annoyed.
"You did what was right in the end." Gepetto reassured him.
"In the end, just like last time." August said.
"It is true but this time you can do better and now you have people who care about you here to help you. So let us." Archie said sincerely.
August sighed looking at him. He should be happy that everyone is so ready to forgive him so easily, that his loved ones actually believe in him. It was unfathomable to him, it didn't make sense. He still had this overwhelming fear of failure. He did not feel he was worth forgiveness, he had not even begun to earn it yet, he didn't know if he ever could. He did not feel like continuing his argument though it felt pointless.
"I know." He said.
"I know you have been through a lot. If you need to talk about it, please come by." Jiminy said sensitively.
"You mean you're still a shrink?" August asked.
"A lot of people are confused about their lives they led as cursed and their lives in the Enchanted Forest. They need someone to talk to. So yes, my doors are still open even after everything that has happened."
August wanted to brush him off; he didn't want to talk about it. He just wanted to do stuff. He wanted to focus on finding out what ever Tamera was up to and maybe he could at least start to feel a little better, like he wasn't given this second chance for no reason, like maybe he can actually do some good. What good would be sitting down and confessing all of his sins do? He just had to do something. Actions are what really counted in the end right? So he had to try. He had to focus on what he could do, instead of opening up old wounds and dwelling on the past.
"Thanks for the offer I appreciate it but I am going to be busy today." August said simply, hoping that he didn't have to explain himself further.
"Oh, what are your plans?" Gepetto asked wanting to know eagerly. He looked at his father seeing that wanting to know what was going on in his son's life. It was a strange thing to sit here with his dad and tell him his plans. He hasn't had anyone to care what he was up to and ask for his plans since he was a little boy. For a moment he wanted to forget everything and just spend time with his father maybe repair some old clocks together or build something. But that would be selfish and he could not be selfish any longer he had to focus on figuring out what Tamera was up to.
"I am helping Emma with a problem." He said simply.
"It is about the warning isn't it? Do you remember?" Gepetto asked eager.
August looked at his father as guilt was seething through his pores. He could not lie to his papa not again. But the last thing he wanted to do was admit in his first breath of his second chance that he lied.
"I do." He simply said hoping that would suffice.
Gepetto nodded and seemed to be satisfied with his simple response but Jiminy was a different story. He looked at him for a moment more and then asked, "Pinocchio is there something you wish to tell us?"
"No." August said simply.
Then Jiminy said, "Pinocchio even lies of omission are still lies. You do know that."
August huffed frustrated couldn't the cricket just let him be?
Gepetto gave Jiminy a disapproving look. Even if he somehow could tell that August was holding something back he did not want Jiminy to disturb this nice reunion that he was having with his son. He didn't want anything to push his son away.
Then Gepetto said, "You do not have to go into details if you do not wish to."
August appreciated his father so much right at that moment and gave him a small smile. Jiminy's knowing look of guilt did not help though. He could not just brush it off. He knew he was right though deep down. He didn't want to go on the huge list of confessing all of his sins throughout his life.
He took a deep breath and said, "You are right Jiminy there is something I was holding back. The truth is I do remember about the warning, in fact I never lost the memory at all. I always knew."
"Pinocchio you lied?" Gepetto asked sorrow edged throughout his face in disappointment.
"Yes, I am sorry but at the time, I thought it was best because the person I was warning Emma about was there." August explained hoping that explanation would suffice.
Both Gepetto and Jiminy nodded in understanding. Then Jiminy then asked, "Was it the new comers?"
"Oh, yes well one of them. Tamera, Neal's fiancée." August said.
"Neal? Are you sure he is not assisting her?" Jiminy asked.
"I am sure. She wants magic he hates it. I doubted him for a second as well but I know he has nothing to do with it. Tamera tried to kill me so she can get to the magic in Story Brooke." August said.
Then Jiminy asked, "How do you know he hates magic?"
"Oh, well, he is Rumplestilskin's son. He came here to this land to get away from magic, besides we are friends. He had no idea what she was up to."
Both Gepetto and Jiminy looked surprised.
"He's Rumplestilskins son?! I thought he was Henry's father." Gepetto said.
"He's both." August said.
Jiminy's expression changed and he looked at him seriously and he asked, "You are friends with Rumplestilskin's son?"
"Yes." August said beginning to get nervous at Jiminy's reaction. It looked like this deeply disturbed him which seemed off to him. Jiminy did not seem the type to judge someone based on who their family are.
"So out of all of the people in that big wide world, in that land without magic, you just bumped into Rumplestilskin's son?" He asked skeptical and a bit appalled.
He did not like this line of questioning and he did not like how the wheels seem to be turning in Jiminy's head. Why did that bother him so much?
"Well, we did not. I tracked him down by tracking Emma down." August said moving the eggs around on his plate.
"I do not understand. How did you become friends with him but not ever meet Emma until Story Brooke? She acted like she has never met you before." Jiminy asked confused and a bit disturbed, that look gave August a bad feeling. He shrugged the strange feeling away and focused on the explaining himself.
"Yes, well we did not meet, until I came here. I wanted to introduce myself to her and tell her and help bring her to Story Brooke but…it got complicated."
This was exactly what he wanted to avoid. He did not want to pick at the scab of his past. It was bad enough having to talk about it to Emma. He knew that they knew he messed up but he did not want to go into the details.
It looked like Jiminy wanted to ask for more details but Gepetto stopped him and said, "Well, no matter you are here now trying to make up for your past mistakes. That is what matters."
He had a sincere smile on and took August's hand within his.
August nodded at his father's smile and admired his unconditional love. His father always amazed him.
"Thank you papa." He said as he looked at his father with complete gratefulness. He could not comprehend such love from his father. He was always afraid of his father's disappointed face. He was afraid his father would call him a failure, but he supposed that was the result of to many drunken nights filled with self-pity.
Then Jiminy asked, "So I heard you visited Emma and her family last night."
"Mostly just Emma." August said.
"Oh, so you did not get a chance to talk to Mary Margret?" Jiminy asked.
"No." August said.
"That is a shame you should see her. She is going through a hard time. She won't see me but I was wondering if you talked to her…" Jiminy pled.
"Why would she need to see you she's Snow White? Her family's back together and ..."
Then Jiminy said, "She killed Cora, Regina's mother."
August almost fell out of the chair.
He thought about how she said that we all have done things we regret. He looked at her like she was just someone who said that. She could not possibly know what it felt like to have this deep dark guilt that made everything hurt. She talked to him like she knew what that felt like but he didn't believe her. She was Snow White after all. She was the pure kind hearted hero of the story. He thought of all people to understand about guilt would be Snow White. He felt like scum.
"I will do that." August said sincerely and he meant it. She was another one who he owed an apology to.
Jiminy said, "Well, I better get going. Thank you for breakfast Gepetto. It was good to see you, Pinnocchio, please stop by my office when you have a chance."
August reluctantly nodded. He did not want to go but he supposed it was inevitable. He still had all of this guilt, all he wanted to do was do things, he just wanted to make up for his past, but he knew the cricket would not stop persisting.
Emma woke up in blur and saw her alarm clock, she sat up in a start, she was late. She hurried down stairs and yelled, "Henry! We're late!"
She stopped in the middle of the stairs as she saw Mary Margret on the stove cooking. It startled her since she hadn't seen her in the kitchen in so long and since yesterday was the first day she came out of bed.
"This is a surprise." Emma said pleased.
"Do you want breakfast?" Mary Margret asked chipper.
"Sure. Where are Henry and David?" Emma asked.
"David took Henry to school and then he was going to go to the Sheriff's office." Mary Margret said upbeat.
"I better get going." Emma said.
"It is okay. You do have a deputy for a reason. Besides we haven't really had a chance to talk, you do not always have to be in a rush all of the time." Mary Margret said as she took her hand.
She eyed her mother suspiciously and said, "You're surprisingly chipper."
"Yesterday was a good day. August is back. He got redemption. There is hope for me, not to mention for my daughter." She said giving her a sweet knowing smile.
"Oh here we go. You want details." Emma said exasperated.
"Of course not I am your mother. I just…I wouldn't mind to know if my daughter is on the road to get her own little happy ending." Mary Margret said with that knowing smile not leaving her.
Emma sighed and said, "I'm not so sure about that."
"Really? Because August did drop you off, oftly late last night." She said not really hiding the innuendo in her voice.
Emma rolled her eyes and said, "Really? We are having this conversation. I thought we were stopping these little girl talks when we found out you are my mother."
"I know but… just please tell me you are not telling yourself that you had a one night stand with August." Mary Margret stated bluntly. She knew how her daughter was.
Emma remembered the talks they had about one night stands and how that was Emma's norm. But now it was different, before Mary Margret was just her roommate, now that she knew she was her mother, this conversation was starting to get awkward.
"Ugh. No we did not…nothing happened ok?" She said slightly embarrassed.
"Oh so did you guys actually go on a good old fashioned date?" Mary Margret asked intrigued with a sweet smile on.
"No, not unless you call getting drinks with him…" Emma started to say.
"Oh, that could be a date." Mary Margret interrupted hopefully.
"And Neal." She finished with a bit disappointment in her voice.
"Neal?" Mary Margret asked surprised.
"Yep." Emma said.
"Why?" Mary Margret asked looking more disappointed than her. Ever since August had come back in their lives she could tell that she wanted to help him and she didn't keep it a secret that she wanted August and Emma to be together. She did not look pleased that Neal seemed to be getting in the way.
"It's a long story but they're friends. And actually it was kind of fun hanging out with the both of them." Emma said a small smile forming on her lips thinking about it.
"Really?" Mary Margret was fascinated by that.
"Yes, really. I actually tried with August he's not interested…"
"That is just not true Emma. I saw the way he looked at you." Mary Margret said.
"He doesn't think he deserves me, like I'm some untouchable pure princess or something and I am not." Emma said frustrated.
Mary Margret gave her a small reassuring smile as she held her hand and said, "Oh, Emma maybe he just needs time, he has lived with so much guilt for so long."
Emma nodded and said, "I thought so too, but I think he also might be pulling away because of his loyalty to Neal."
"But Neal's engaged." Mary Margret stated the fact.
"Yes, well probably not for long." Emma said.
"What do you mean?" Mary Margret asked.
Emma took a deep breath and said, "Oh you know that warning he mentioned? Well, it was Tamara, Neal didn't believe August once he told him but when he tried to find her to confront her, he caught her cheating."
Mary Margret gaped at her.
"So we're all going to work together to try to bring her down." Emma said as she started to eat her eggs.
"All three of you are working together?" Mary Margret asked startled.
"Yeah."
"Do you think that's wise?" Mary Margret asked.
"It's not my first choice but Neal is right in the middle of it. We can't just pretend he doesn't exist." Emma said.
"How are you doing with that by the way with Neal being such a big part of your life now?" Mary Margret asked.
"I'm better now August is here." Emma said not really wanting to get into it.
"Are you sure?" Mary Margret asked.
"I am. The past is the past we can't do anything to change it. And it doesn't do us any good to dwell on it. I dwelled on it for far too long. I wouldn't let myself love because I dwelt on the pain of my past so much. I can't do it anymore. I just want to not think about it ever again." Emma said looking in space just saying this still reminded her of all of the years that she led in pain.
"I am glad you are trying to finally move on Emma but there is a difference between letting go of the past and ignoring it." Mary Margret said.
"What's the point? It won't fix anything thinking about it." Emma said stuffing some more eggs into her mouth.
Mary Margret sighed as she sat down on the counter next to her daughter.
Then suddenly the doorbell rang and Mary Margret went to open the door. As she did she was happy to see it was August holding a bouquet of flowers. Her smile began to grow happy that Emma seemed to be wrong in her assumption that August only wanted to remain friends.
She said with a glimmer in her eye, "August your ears must have been burning because we were just talking about you. Come in."
She opened the door letting him in and then August said, "These are for you."
Mary Margret was taken aback by that and then asked, "For me?"
"Yeah, they're my apology for acting like such a jerk to you yesterday." August said giving her that charismatic smile.
Mary Margret took the flowers and smelled them smiling sweetly and said, "Thank you August. They're beautiful I will just put them in water."
She then went into the kitchen in search of a vase.
Then Emma said, "That was sweet of you."
"It's the least I could do. I was kind of a jerk to her when she found me." August said.
"You were? Huh?" Emma asked surprised.
"What's huh?" August asked curiously.
"Well I would have never guessed that you were mean to her given how she responded. She's practically planning our wedding." Emma said light heartedly laughing a little.
"Yes, well, parents huh. My father was not exactly upset when I told him I had to see you last night either. He probably would go right with her with the wedding plans." He said.
"Yeah, note to self we must keep those two apart." Emma said with a light chuckle.
"Wouldn't want to walk into an impromptu wedding." August said playing along.
"Nope." Emma said folding her arms still laughing but now looking on the ground awkwardly.
They both awkwardly laughed a little bit and then Emma started to get a little serious and said, "How were you mean to her exactly?"
"I was a jerk. She just wanted to help and I dismissed her. I did not think anyone in the whole world could possibly know about the guilt that I carried." August said remembering the moment vividly.
She stared at him filled with intent and said, "So Gepetto told you, what happened?"
"Yeah, I feel like the world's biggest jerk. I couldn't possibly…"
Then Mary Margret came back from the kitchen took the vase with flowers and put in on the counter.
"There. Aren't they beautiful right here?" Mary Margret asked Emma.
Emma shrugged her shoulders and said, "Sure."
Then Snow asked, " Can August and I have a moment alone?"
Emma hesitated for a moment. Did she really want her mother alone with August? What would they talk about? Would she continue her meddling and trying to fix them up? Did she want that? Oh there were just so many possibilities.
Then she said, "Sure I need to get ready and get going to the Sheriff's office."
Then August looked between Emma and Snow a little afraid himself. Seeing Emma again having her on good terms with him was more than he could have hoped for. Even though he had all of this guilt that was directly related to her, her presence somehow made him feel better. Even though he knew it should make him feel worse.
They looked at each other smiling weakly until Emma finally went upstairs.
Snow noticed this and smiled at the both of them warmly. Then August turned to Snow and said, "I really am sorry. I acted like such a jerk to you completely dismissing you, or the thought that you could possibly know how it feels like to be weighed down with so much guilt."
"Then you found out from Gepetto that I killed Regina's mother." Snow said.
"Yeah. I did. I can see now you were looking to me for some type of understanding, for some type of hope that you will be able to move past it." August said intently.
"I did but I really think that you can move past what you have done as well." Snow said sincere.
"You don't even know what I have done. Well not exactly, anyway." He said his guilt still fresh on his mind.
"Leaving Emma, you were only a child given too much responsibility." Snow said.
"If it weren't for me you could have been with your daughter, you could have raised her, see her grow up. It should have been you instead of me. I failed so completely." August said downtrodden.
"I wish I could've been there too. I'll be honest with you it hurts me to think about how I missed seeing her grow up. It hurts to think about how much I missed, but that was not your fault and I cannot blame your father I would have done the same thing."
"But so many other things are my fault you have no idea." August said misery echoing in his voice.
"I know, but whatever you've done it is not so much that you cannot come back from." Snow pleaded.
He looked up at her resolutely in the eyes and said, "It's not the same. I'm sure you did what you did because you were protecting your family."
"And you never done that, you never done something you knew was wrong to protect the ones you loved?" Snow asked.
"I lied to protect Emma. But I did so much more then that I ruined her life thinking I was helping. I thought it put her on the right path but instead I made things worse. If it weren't for Henry, she probably wouldn't have broken the curse at all." August said feeling miserable just thinking about it.
"You know going over and over in your mind about all of your mistakes will not help, self-pitying and self-loathing will not help." Snow urged.
"I know that is why I have to help Emma bring down…" August said.
"Tamera?" Snow finished.
"She told you?" August asked.
"Yeah." Snow said and then she continued, "August, sit, please."
August hesitated weary, he already said enough. He didn't know how much more of this dwelling and drowning in the regret of his mistakes he could take.
"Actually I can't stay long."
"It won't take long." Snow said as she sat down on the bar stool.
August slowly sat down. He didn't know how much worse this could get. He already bared his soul of guilt.
"So August I was wondering about you helping Emma with proving my innocence."
"What about it?"
"Why did you do that exactly?" She asked careful.
He examined her kind face trying to figure this queen out. Then he thought he understood.
"Well, I knew it must have been Regina's doing and I couldn't just sit idly by and not help and it would help get Emma to trust me so I could get her to believe."
Snow nodded and said, "So you helped us but it wasn't selfless."
"I haven't done much in my life that was." August said filled with self-pity.
"Oh, August, you still helped us."
"To save myself. I like to think I still would have helped but I guess we'll never know." August really hated this.
"Thank you August."
"For what?"
"Being honest."
August chuckled and said, "That's what I am trying to do for now on. I'm just not sure…"
"You can do it, August it just will take time." Snow said filled with hope.
"Can I ask you something?" August asked.
"Yes, of course." Snow said.
"Why do you want me and Emma to be together?"
"My, my, my aren't we direct?"
"Emma told me you wanted us to be together and I can't help but wonder why. After knowing how much I screwed up, why would you root for us to be together?" August asked honestly.
"It's tough around here for Emma and I just want her to have a shot at her happily ever after."
"Why me though? Why not Neal?" August asked still not believing that anyone would want him to be with Emma, especially since they know who he really is.
"Neal? I know he is Henry's biological father but… he left her to rot in prison. He was a big part the reason why she's so closed off all of the time."
August sat there silently for moment. He did like that Snow did root for him. If he ever did want to really give the idea with Emma a shot romantically she would make an excellent ally. He liked her optimism and hope and that she believed in him so. He would hate to lose that and to pop that hopeful bubble she had made with him.
"Neal did not do that alone. It was actually my idea."
"What?" Snow asked appalled.
"I found them. Neal leaving and setting her up to go to prison was my idea. It was all my idea." August said.
Snow stood up shaking her head and said, "And you and Neal became buddies after that."
"We thought it would lead her on the right path to go to StoryBrooke but then I bailed. I just…"
"Forgot all about her…"
"See, your not so quick to forgive me now."
"August."
"Look I get it. You wanted to help me get redemption so you can feel better about yourself. You want to know that there isn't anything that you can't get back from and all I can do is operate on the hope that I can make up for my mistakes, that I can make amends but no matter what I do I cannot undo what I did. I can't rewrite history; I can't pretend that what I did never happened. It did. And even if I ever earn my redemption I will never deserve her."
"August, I don't know what to say."
"You don't have to say anything. Just know this. You are Snow White and even though you made a horrible mistake you will not be lost, you can come back from that because you doing that did not result in hurting someone you loved and there lies the difference." August said shameful sadness booming through him. Then he got up and said, "Tell Emma I will meet her at the station around lunch time."
He didn't wait for Mary Margret to respond and left.
A/N: Thanks for the reviews and alerts. Sorry that this chapter was so depressing. It will get better the next chapter will have a little more light heartedness and fun it. For some reason WoodenSwanFire bring out the fun each other, at least that's how I like to write them in this.