Author's Note: Thanks to everyone who reviewed, encouraging me to add a little more to this story! I appreciate your feedback.
This one wrote itself. Really – I was just along for the ride.
This is one of the few times I can say that I'm truly pleased with how this chapter turned out, and I hope you feel the same.
Again, past events are in italics.
Warning: You may want to break out the tissues for this one. Angst abounds.
Chapter 2: Changes
It had been three days since Rachel's funeral.
Steve will never forget the absurdity of the moment when Stan Edwards broke down in sobs at the grave site, a stoic Danny reaching over to grip the man's shoulder.
Rachel's mother had flown in for the funeral, and held Grace through the entire service. The little girl had been unnaturally subdued in her grandmother's arms, shedding tears without making a sound. She'd hardly spoken since that Friday night when she learned of her mother's death, and Danny was nearly sick with worry for her.
It didn't help that he'd never had a good relationship with Rachel's mother. The woman had been criticizing his every attempt to guide his daughter through the grieving process since the day she landed in Honolulu, piling even more guilt on top of Danny's shoulders, and Steve could only watch as he slowly cracked under the strain.
The night of the funeral, Steve had driven back to Stan's house to give Danny and Grace a ride back to Danny's apartment. He was rather surprised to walk in on a family argument.
Stan and Sophia, Rachel's mother, were insisting that Danny and Grace stay at the big house, but Danny had adamantly refused. Sophia had broken down in tears, retreating to another room and leaving Danny and Stan at a standoff.
"She needs to be someplace familiar right now," Stan said, keeping his voice low so as to not disturb the eight year old sleeping on the couch.
"Hey, she needs to be with her father right now, alright?" Danny replied, voice breathy with emotion. "I think I know what's best for Grace."
"Danny, please. She's all I got left of her," the man pleaded.
"She was never yours to begin with," Danny spat angrily.
"Danny," Steve hissed, his tone conveying a warning as he tried to keep his partner in line.
He was ignored as the lack of sleep, stress, and grief that had obviously been taking a toll on the detective turned him downright spiteful.
Stan's hands clenched into fists at his side, and Danny let out a bark of laughter.
"Please, just give me a reason," he said cockily, itching to release some of the throbbing rage and tension that had been coursing through his body for days.
Steve read Danny's posture and thought for sure he was going to have to breaking up a fistfight.
But instead of taking the bait, Stan deflated, his eyes filling with tears.
"I know it's difficult for you to understand or accept, but I loved Rachel. And I love Grace. I know I have to step away now, and I've accepted that. All I'm asking for is a little time. Don't rip her away from me so quickly."
Much to Steve's relief, Danny capitulated.
"We'll stay for tonight, but we're leaving tomorrow morning."
He left Steve standing in the doorway, completely forgotten in the midst of the family drama.
On Monday, Sophia had insisted on visiting Grace at Danny's apartment.
Unfortunately, she came right when Steve, Chin, and Kono were there, making an early dinner. The apartment had been crowded, loud, and messy; Sophia had been appalled by his living conditions.
"My God, Daniel, this is what a policeman's salary in gets you in Hawaii?"
Danny's face had reddened in embarrassment, and he'd quietly sent Grace off to the bedroom.
The rest of 5.0 froze in shock before returning to their tasks as if nothing happened, unable to ignore the brewing confrontation in the living room.
"This is more of a hotel room than an apartment. Why, there's barely enough room for Grace's things!" Sophia exclaimed, genuinely distressed.
Danny pinched the bridge of his nose as if in pain. "Please Sophia; I really don't need this right now. You know I do the best I can."
"This is no place to raise a child," she said finally. "Did Rachel know you lived like this?"
The blonde man sighed. "I'm not having this conversation right now."
"Well, you certainly need to think about these things, Daniel, if you expect to be able to gain custody of Grace."
"What do you mean, 'if I expect' to get custody? Just what the hell are you insinuating, Sophia? I'm her father! I know what's best for her!"
"Hey Danny, calm down," Steve called gently from the kitchen, trying to diffuse the situation.
"You may be her father, but Grace is my granddaughter, and I know the kind of life Rachel wanted for her. It's a life you can never give her."
The Englishwoman's words were sharp, her hatred for Danny evident in the sting of every syllable. Danny's eyes widened marginally as he absorbed her verbal blows.
When he finally spoke, his words were deadly calm.
"You need to get out of my apartment, Sophia. Right now."
"I'm going to get custody of Grace, Daniel. You know I will."
"I'm sure you'll try," he replied stonily as the older woman backed out the doorway.
"You'll be hearing from my lawyer soon," she stated loudly from the stoop.
Danny slammed the door in her face.
"We'll figure it out, Danny," Steve had assured him before he left for the night.
"There is no 'we' in this, Steven. This isn't one of your take-no-prisoners special ops. This is a family thing, unfortunately something you can't fix."
"What are you gonna do?"
"Same thing I've been doing for the past three years. I'm gonna fight for Grace."
Danny's face, etched with lines of anguish and exhaustion, would haunt Steve's dreams for several nights to come.
Early Wednesday morning Steve showed up at Danny's apartment, juggling a bag of bagels and malasadas in one hand and two cups of coffee in the other.
Danny answered the door looking rather disheveled, his hair sticking up in all directions, eyes bloodshot and rimmed with dark shadows.
He knew his partner hadn't really been sleeping since Rachel's death. Grace insisted on sleeping with her father every night, yet was consistently plagued with nightmares that caused her to jerk awake screaming in the wee hours of the morning. Danny would soothe her back to sleep, but the sight of his daughter in such pain would inevitably leave him in a state of insomnia.
"Hey, Danno," Steve greeted. "You look like shit."
"Well, good morning to you too, Commando," Danny volleyed back sarcastically.
He eyed the bag in Steve's hand. "What'd you bring me?"
Steve, Chin, and Kono had themselves on a rotating schedule so that someone was always around at mealtimes, making sure Danny ate.
It was one of the few things they could take responsibility for – one of the small ways in which they could help their friend through this difficult time. It was also one of the few gestures of care that the proud detective accepted without complaint.
Steve followed his partner inside, setting down his breakfast on the kitchen table.
"Breakfast. Bagels and malasadas and coffee. Did you and Grace eat yet?"
"She had some cereal, but she'll probably want a malasada." He walked back to the bedroom, where Grace sat on the bed, coloring in a book.
"Baby, you want some malasadas? Uncle Steve brought 'em."
She shook her head, silent.
"You sure?"
Grace nodded.
Crestfallen, Danny walked back out to the kitchen.
"She usually likes 'em anyway," he muttered, slumping into a kitchen chair.
"Is she still not talking?" Steve asked, surreptitiously placing one of the plastic cups of coffee in front of his partner.
Danny sniffed, reaching out to cup his hands around the steaming cup.
"No. And I don't know what the hell to do at this point."
"She just needs time," Steve offered.
Kono had been spending a lot of time with Grace, trying to coax the girl back out of her shell, but she could only do so much.
"Time is something I don't have. It's just more ammunition for Sophia to use against me at the custody hearing."
"Is she really gonna fight you over this?"
"This woman has hated me for years, Steven. She thought I was a bad influence on her daughter – I was never good enough for Rachel – and she was proven right with the divorce. Now she blames me for Rachel's death and is going to do everything in her power to prove me unfit."
"Rachel's death was an accident."
"Doesn't matter – it all goes back to the divorce. She's just vindictive."
"There's no way a court would declare you unfit, Danny," Steve protested. "You're Grace's biological father."
Danny shook his head sadly.
"There's more to it than that. They grant custody based on the child's best interests. I work long hours, have a highly dangerous job, live in a crappy efficiency apartment, and am obviously incapable of helping my traumatized child."
"Danny, that's crazy," Steve countered, exasperated. "What can Sophia give her that you can't?"
"Unfortunately a hell of a lot – stability, safety, a good education, a motherly influence…."
"Stop. Just stop. You're not gonna lose custody of Grace," Steve said firmly.
Danny stared down at his untouched coffee, his voice devoid of inflection.
"Maybe it's for the best, you know? Maybe I'm the one who shouldn't be fighting."
Steve scrubbed his hand across his face. It killed him to hear his partner so resigned. Danny was giving up already.
"You know what? You're not thinking straight. You haven't slept."
"I can't sleep," the blonde man said wearily. "Believe me, I've tried."
"Alright, you know what? You eat. I'm gonna head to the pharmacy."
"Hey – don't think you're gonna drug me with any sleeping pills. I don't want addicted to that shit. It'll be just one more thing Sophia will use against me."
"I can get you an herbal supplement that will help you sleep that's also non-narcotic so you don't have to worry about becoming dependent."
Danny blinked. "Really?"
"Yeah."
"Oh. Okay."
Steve couldn't stop himself from rolling his eyes on his way out the door.
He spends the drive to and from the pharmacy thinking about ways he can help his partner, but nothing really comes to mind.
This is not something he can call the Governor about. This isn't like last time, when Stan was trying to build a new hotel and needed government approval. Danny has no leverage here.
When he returns to the apartment 45 min. later, he lets himself in.
Danny is sprawled out on the couch, snoring like a freight train. The TV flickers in the background, having been put on mute.
'So much for not being able to sleep,' Steve thinks. His partner's exhaustion must have finally caught up with him.
Steve locks the door, and then moves stealthily into the kitchen to put away the herbal supplement.
He is stopped by the sight of Grace sitting forlornly at the kitchen table, hands in her lap and looking entirely too sad for a child.
Something twinges in Steve's gut, and suddenly he remembers – he was that child.
The look on little Grace's face brings it all back, and suddenly he can remember with stunning clarity just how lost he felt after losing his own mother.
He can feel the sharp pinpricks behind his eyes as they fill with moisture.
"Grace…" he manages, a choked whisper past the lump in his throat.
The apartment suddenly seems suffocating, and he reaches out for the eight-year old's hand.
"You wanna go for a little walk?"
She just shrugs, and it is enough to shred his heart in two.
"Come on."
He takes her to a nearby park and she sits on the swing, staring at the grass beneath her feet.
Steve is too big to swing, so he plops on the ground nearby, elbow resting on bended knee.
He feels a genuine connection with the girl, and wants to talk to her – but he has little experience with children. Dare he risk further traumatizing his partner's child?
"Gracie…you might not believe it, but I know how you feel," he starts uncertainly, and waits for her brown eyes to meet his gaze before continuing.
"When I was little, I lost my mom, too."
Her eyebrows furrow a bit at this confession, as if she cannot fathom her Uncle Steve being either little or without a mother.
"You did?"
Steve nearly loses it when he hears her tiny voice, barely able to force words past the sudden lump in his throat.
"Yeah, I did. And it hurt a lot, for a long time."
"Do you still miss her?" Grace asks, her chin quivering.
Steve has to swallow hard before he can speak.
"I miss her every day."
"But I don't want to be sad every day. And I don't want Danno to be sad."
"Well, it's okay to feel sad for awhile. But there is something you can do to help make you feel less sad," he paused, trying to choose his words carefully.
"You can close your eyes and remember your mom, and all the good times you spent together. If you do that, then she's not really gone. She's always with you here," he pats his chest for emphasis.
"Really?" Grace asks, sounding a little hopeful.
"Would I lie to you?"
The child shakes her head vigorously.
"Can I try it?" She asks tentatively.
Steve nods. "Sure. Close your eyes…now think up your favorite memory of your mom."
Eyes squinted shut, face scrunched up in concentration, Grace thinks for only a moment before her mouth turns up in a small smile.
"You got one?" Steve asks.
She nods. "Baking Christmas cookies – we made candy-cane ones," she says earnestly. "Mommy said I twisted them real good."
Steve gives her an encouraging pat on the arm. "See? Told you it would work."
He nearly falls over when Grace launches herself off of the swing and into his arms for a hug.
It takes Danny a few minutes to wake up.
Not only is he exhausted, but he keeps hearing Grace's voice in his dreams. She sounds so happy, and he would give anything to hear his little girl happy again, so he resists the urge to rise above the fog of sleep.
"Danno! Wake up, Danno!"
Gradually he realizes that the excited voice of his daughter is not coming from his dreams, and he squints red-rimmed eyes open to see his daughter's smiling face.
"Grace?" his voice is rough with fatigue and confusion. "Monkey, what –"
"Uncle Steve took me to the park, and he taught me a neat trick!"
Danny jerks his head up to stare at the Navy SEAL, surprised at rare display of naked emotion he sees on his partner's face.
Then it hits him. Grace is talking - after days of silence, his baby is finally able to speak again, some of the light having returned to her almond-colored eyes.
"What? What trick?" He latches on to the moment, half afraid to hope that this is even real.
"Uncle Steve lost his mommy when he was little, just like me. But he showed me how to close my eyes, and think of something fun we did – like baking cookies! And then I could see her, Danno, and I didn't feel so sad."
"Is that right?"
Danny can hardly see through sudden, blurry tears, but he is smiling.
"Yeah. And guess what, Danno? Mommy is always with you, right here," she places a tiny hand on Danny's chest, imitating what she learned from Uncle Steve.
The tears slip down Danny's cheeks in rivulets, and he pulls his daughter close so she doesn't see them.
"Tell you what monkey, you go clean up your room and we'll go out for pizza," he says gruffly.
"Okay!" The girl runs into the bedroom while Danny takes a minute to compose himself, and then gets to his feet.
He turns to Steve, who is standing next to the wall, shifting his weight uncomfortably.
"I don't know how you did it…."
Steve clears his throat, looking away. "I guess I hadn't realized…I remember what it felt like when I lost my mom, even though I was older than Grace when it happened."
"I'm sorry," Danny says softly, running a hand through his hair. "This shit must be bringing up all kinds of bad memories for you. I didn't even think—"
"No, it's okay. Really. I didn't even really make the connection myself until today." He shrugs. "It just kind of happened."
Danny shakes his head. "There are no words, man. What you did…'thank you' doesn't cover it."
"She's still gonna be hurting," Steve replies. "I didn't fix anything."
"Yeah, but you gave her tools to cope. That's more than I could do."
"You're gonna get through this, Danno," Steve reassures him. "It's gonna work out."
Danny nods. "You know, I think I'm starting to believe that."
He holds out his hand for Steve to shake, then at the last minute pulls the taller man into a bear hug.
"Thanks, partner. I mean it."
The Navy SEAL reciprocates, awkwardly patting Danny on the back.
"Uh, you're welcome."
As he pulls away Danny chuckles.
"I still say you weren't held as a child."
TBC….
A/N: I think I have enough ideas for a solid third chapter, though I'm not sure when I'll be able to get it out. Please review and feed the muse!