Later that afternoon I found myself sitting alone in the dining hall, Tamaki had rushed off somewhere claiming he was taking care of something extremely important and it desperately required him to leave my side. He had been following me around like a lost puppy all day.
I picked up my small china cup of traditional English tea and sipped it. I heard someone approaching me, though I could tell by the less excitable noise of footprints it wasn't my devoted and loving husband.

"Alone, for once, Kyoya?" chuckled Hikaru, sitting beside me. He crossed his arms, leaning closer to me and grinning. I sighed, smiling.

"Yes. Though to tell you the truth, I'm just as surprised as you." I noticed the change in Hikaru's eyes.
"You blind idiot," he said, shaking his head slightly. He leaned back in his chair. I raised an eyebrow at him.
"Care to explain why you just insulted me?" I muttered, blinking at him. Surely he wasn't suggesting I was the last to know about this secret affection. Hikaru laughed again,
"Haruhi cannot get her head around it," he added.

"Hah." I couldn't control my satisfaction. "No longer the centre of our Lord's attention,"
"It's not that," he continued, "She just never thought you were…" he couldn't bring himself to finish his sentence. I blushed fiercely.
"I am what, exactly? Hikaru?" I spat. He was grinning.
"It was obvious, to the rest of us, you know. Tamaki has been in love you for a very long time." I never quite realised before until now, without Hikaru's other half he does not seem to be able to finish sentences on his own. I swallowed slightly,
"In… love?" For a moment I couldn't breathe.

"Our Lord never thought you would return him. He has admired you from a far for so long."
"And you're aware of this, how?" I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Suddenly my whole judgement was changing. I thought this was just Tamaki having some fun, and I was being taken for a joyous romantic ride. I returned his affection, his attention, his emotions… but I have never been in love. How could this be what love is? Tamaki… he's a –

"When you weren't around, Tamaki would talk about you all the time. He'd try to come up with ways to spend time with you, last week he insisted on arriving at your home to surprise you."
"He… did." How could I not be aware that this was happening? "He came over, insisting we come up with new ideas to entertain the girls. We watched a couple of movies together…"

"Then what happened?"
"I…" I paused. What was I thinking? I cannot possibly return these feelings for Tamaki! Hikaru was looking at me worriedly now. I didn't realise what my expression was holding. My heart was beating faster, I couldn't breathe.
"Kyoya? Are you okay?" Hikaru stood up slightly. I gripped the table, suddenly I couldn't think strait. I was in love with Tamaki? How? After what? A kiss? I was half unconscious! I wasn't thinking strait!
"Kyoya!" came a panicked voice. Suddenly he yanked me by my shoulders and shook me back and forth. He was staring in my eyes and all I could see were two purple pools glaring into me. "Kyoya snap out of it! What's wrong?" shouted Souh. I blinked, focusing on his expression. He looked panicked, like he was about to collapse. Hikaru was glaring at him. Tamaki let go of me, his focus quickly fixed itself upon the red head. "What did you say to him?" desperation flooding his voice.
"I-I didn't say anything! I just – " sluttered Hikaru.
"You!" I screamed – pointing at Tamaki. My heart was racing in my chest.
"K-Kyoya… it's me…!" he whispered, his face white. "Why so upset, my darling?"

"Don't – just don't." I muttered. My heart was pounding, I placed my hand on my chest. Why was I getting so upset over this? This morning, I'd never been happier. But now… it was like I couldn't accept it. I was recovering from the shock.
Tamaki stepped towards me, reaching his hand to grip mine. "What's wrong…" his voice was barely a whisper now, I could feel how disappointed he was throughout my entire being.

"I'm sorry – Tamaki, but I can't do this. I can't pretend." I found myself becoming angry. "I'm not like you!"
"But, Kyoya? What are you saying? I lo…"
"Tamaki for Christ's sake I'm not gay!" the words fired out of me like bullets from a gun, the noise filled the room and the poison in my voice lingered in the hall like a bad odour. It echoed throughout my head – and I saw Tamaki's expression change.
The room fell quiet. It took a few more seconds for me to realise the room was filled with students the whole time, and I was the centre of attention. Suddenly, I didn't like all this new attention I was receiving.
"Kyoya," muttered Hikaru, "If you don't mind me saying, I think you're blowing this all out of proportion."
"Oh what now, Hikaru? You think you know everything. You think I'm over reacting - ?" I stopped myself when I realised Tamaki was raising a hand in Hikaru's direction. His eyes were now closed like he couldn't bare to look at me,
"It's okay, Hikaru. It's normal for him to react this way…"
"Normal?" I laughed.
"…some people just can't come to terms with what they really are." He looked up at me, his eyes were almost a glare, but I could see a hint of pain within them. I realised Hikaru was right. Tamaki was in love with me.
"What? What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I took a step back. "You listen to me, Tamaki. I don't care what ever you thought I was, or what we were, but I'm only going to say this one more time. I am not homosexual. I will never love another man. I am not like you!"
"You make me sound like some kind of monster. All I ever did was try to make you happy…"
"Tamaki, you're sick." I spat. "What you are – it's wrong!"
I felt a sudden pang in my chest. When I saw the look on Tamaki's face, I realised I had over stepped a mark. It was like I had punched him square in nose, he looked repulsed. Like he couldn't believe those words had just passed my lips. I could almost see his whole world falling apart around him, and suddenly I couldn't understand where we were, or what we were doing. I looked around me, dozens of faces all shared the same hint of disgust, however theirs was different. They resented me for being so cruel. Tamaki, however, was devastated. I saw his eyes fill up and he gritted his teeth, he took and took a deep breath,
"I loved you enough to think maybe you'd understand. I was wrong, Kyoya, I'm sorry." He turned around, "I had already accepted long ago you may never return my feelings, but I at least believed, as my friend, you'd accept me for what I am. I'm sorry if I misjudged you." I never noticed until just now that Tamaki had been holding something in his hand this whole time. I tried to get a look at what it was, but he quickly shifted and began to quickly run from the room – and I was left there.

A few more moments passed, with Tamaki gone I began to reflect on my behaviour. I couldn't believe what I had done. Hikaru was looking at the doors where Tamaki had left – and he started to walk away from me too.
"Hikaru…?" I muttered.
"For a smart guy, you really are pathetic." He said, looking over his shoulder at me. "I think you need to think about this; before you start insulting others,"
"What, what is it?" I mumbled,
"The only person who's got a problem with it is yourself. Get over it and grow a pair." He glared at me, before walking away.

I slowly found my seat and sat down, I blinked and looked at my hands. I was shaking. Why had I gotten so upset? I saw a pair of shiny black shoes on the floor in front of me and looked up, to my disgust, the cross-dresser was looking down at me.
"How could you do that?" she said. "He's your friend."
"I…" I sighed, smacking the table with the palm of my hand in anger. "I don't know! I just don't know…"