Hi All

Wow, thank you so much for all the alerts and thank you so very much to those who took the time to write a review. I have adjusted the genres as suggested and thank you for the advice. Still got my training wheels on for this site.

For those wondering...Eric is definately a big feature for this story. I am trying to stick within the story as written by Charlaine Harris so far and tie up all the loose ends. I am just taking my view on how it should happen. Sookies journey and her relationship with Eric is fairly major so it will be here. Actually Chapter 3 gets us started. I am currently tweaking Chappies 3 and 4 and am writing 5 at the moment so keep a look out for more to come.

Hope you enjoy and don't be afraid to review.

All is owned by Charlaine Harris...Just need to get this story out of my head.

Chapter 2

I was due to go to Merlottes for the dinner shift tonight. I really wanted to keep moving with my new discoveries though so I called up Sam.

"Hey Sam, it's Sookie"

"Hey Chere, what's up"

"I was just wondering if you need me in tonight, I mean if it's busy I'll come on in but if it's quiet I could stay at home."

"Sook, I know the bar's been slow lately but you don't have to take time off to save me money you know" Sam said with reproach.

Business at Metlottes and Fangtasia had been slow of late due to Victor Maddens personal piss off Eric Northman campaign. Victor opened up Vics Redneck Roadhouse and Vampires Kiss in close and direct competition with Sam and Eric's bars. Victor chose the wrong vampire and his wife to irritate, I thought with some smug satisfaction. Then the guilt rose up because I had been a big part of bringing all the grisly horror and death about. I squashed it down and got back on track.

"Oh it's not that Sam, it's just Dermot is here and he's been telling me about the Fae. I'd like to keep him talking while he's willing and I don't know when I'll get another opportunity to find out things."

"If that's the case Sookie, stay and find out as much as you can. Make sure he tells you what Claude is up to. I don't trust that guy at all, Fae can be real tricky so you watch out for yourself, you hear.

"Thanks Sam" I said with relief. "It's nice to have a friend who understands you."

"You give me a call if you need me and I'll at your place real quick," Sam said with concern, "I don't think you should trust Dermot either."

"I'm fine Sam, Dermot has promised to teach me about the Fae and what I am. He's seems real sincere, but I promise to call if I need help."

"Alright then Sook, I'll see you on your next shift"

"Bye Sam, and thanks again." I hung up the phone. I now had three days clear of work. I had a lot to find out, a lot to think about and more to come to grips with, would three days be enough. There was also one tall, blonde and fangy problem to deal with. I hadn't talked to Eric since we took out Victor. Pam had called last night to tell me he was busy buying some time before Felipe found out and that if all went well he would see me tonight.

I sighed. Eric. Even without the bond I thought about him more than what was probably healthy for me. Pam said he would be coming tonight. Just the thought of seeing him sent a cascade of emotions and sensations running through me. The one I'd chosen to focus on the most in the past has been the easiest and most pleasurable one – lust. Boy, do I have big lust for Eric. He just gets me in everyway between the sheets (not mention above them, in the kitchen, on the rug in front of the fire, porch swing, his office….you get the picture). I'd thought what I'd shared with Bill had been fantastic but what Eric and I have in sexual chemistry burns those experiences into ash. We fit so well together and our bodies understand each other effortlessly.

I wish it was so easy with our relationship out of bed. Our Relationship. I've never really sat down and thought about it. Eric and I have both professed to wanting to "have the talk" but circumstances always get in the way. We're always running from one drama to another and it never really happens. Maybe neither of us wanted it to happen. What we are to each other is complex and I don't know where to even start. To say our relatively short union has been intense would be an understatement. It's feels like a speeding train heading for a wreck at the moment.

I've always felt ill equipped to deal with my own life. Things just seem to get away from me and before I know it I'm in the middle of a disaster and lately that means a life threatening one. Eric once asked me if I always run away when things get difficult. Was he right, do I run the other way when things get difficult? Is that why I get blindsided and am always scrambling to catch up? I will stand up and fight when it's right there in my face and it's too late to avoid it. Courage and survival instinct I have. Maybe I need to stop running and start choosing to see what's coming my way because I don't want to forced into things anymore.

I took a deep breath and blew out my cheeks. I guess its time to stop running and start dealing. I thought for a moment about what I have been avoiding. I cringed a little. Eric insists I'm more than just human and Dermot says I can be a Fae as he is. I guess now it's up to me to learn what I can do and who I am, besides being just human isn't exactly working out well for me. The other big one is Eric being contracted to marry the Queen of Oklahoma. We haven't even discussed it yet. The fact that Eric has known for sometime and not told me anything doesn't make me feel all warm and fuzzy. I'm really gonna need to be on my game to deal with him tonight.

I gave myself a small smile, well just look at me. Big problems being looked at, plans being formed, wow I really am on fire today. Pat on the back for Sookie. Maybe this catching the sun thing really does work. I feel more calm and together today in spite of what I've been through in the last few days. I walked to the base of the stairs and looked up. I could hear the floor sander going in the attic. Is this what using my Fae side is like? So far it's feeling OK. Well, no time like the present, strike while the irons hot and all that, time to question Dermot some more.

I grabbed a glass of iced water and headed up the stairs. Dermot was just finishing the floor. I waited till he switched off the sander and then I knocked on the door frame. Dermot turned around and gave me a warm smile.

"Thought you might like a drink" I said and held out the glass.

"Thank you" he said, 'how does it look. I'm done with the sanding now and am looking forward to varnishing it."

He was beaming. I beamed along with him, happy to see him so proud of his effort. "It's looking real good" I said, "You'd never know this was your first time as a handyman, and thanks for keeping all the dust contained in here."

We chatted about what he planned to do next for a few minutes before I asked "Are you ready for a break?"

"Sure" Dermot replied.

"Well, you go and clean up and I'll go make us some sandwiches."

We sat down to eat in the kitchen. "Dermot, can I ask you more about focusing on my Fae side. How do I do that?" I asked nervously, It's just I feel pretty good today after doing the catching the sun thing and I'm curious about what else my Fae side will do for me."

"You will enjoy it. I remember when my Fae side woke up, I felt more complete, stronger and once I lived in Faery for a while I was less conflicted."

"What do you mean less conflicted?"

"My human beliefs were confusing my Faery instinct. I believed I should feel one way about something but my instinct was to feel something else. It was quite difficult to understand until I fully embraced my Faery half by living completely Fae."

Woah! Is that what's been going on with me. I have a list of people I feel would be better off dead and I have killed a few and been party to the killing of more. All of them I find understandable and in some cases necessary. But it makes me sick to my stomach and I hate myself for feeling that way. I'd never wanted anyone dead till Bill Compton walked into my bar. I had been blaming the vampires for getting me into situations that made me have to contemplate the killing of others but was it really that. Could it be that its part of my Fae instinct? Ewwww!

Dermot, would my Fae instinct include having some serious desires to off a few ..um..supes? I asked apprehensively.

"Have these people harmed you in some way, perhaps threatened you?" he asked a little excitedly.

"Well, yeah, I guess so." Debbie and Sandra Pelt had certainly wanted to harm me, they'd wanted me dead, Andre wanted to bond me and harm me, Victor was threatening me and no doubt had wanted to hurt me. The other vamps I had killed, Lorena, Bruno were trying to kill me too. Appius was threatening Eric which was like threatening me, I didn't kill him but I really wanted to. My eyes widened, did I just think that? A threat to Eric is a threat to me….what does that mean….Jesus Christ Shepherd of Judea…no not now I'm not ready to deal with that now. I focused on what Dermot was saying.

"They had blood debt to you Sookie. They have stolen or damaged your energy, essence, you feel incomplete and you want it back. You will feel the need to hunt. We hunt those who harm or ill wish against us to restore ourselves. There is magic in the blood, if we take the blood of our enemies our essence is restored.

"Does it have to be blood, does it have to be killing." This was creeping me out.

"Blood is the best. The magic of the life source is very powerful, its how vampires are still walking around after the human in them has died. It is why they need to keep taking in the life force of others to survive, they are parasites. You don't have to kill for it but you will find most supernaturals won't part with their blood willingly Sookie."

"What do you do with the blood? Would I have to drink it? And then what?" I was starting to feel a little alarmed and slightly sick.

"You don't need to drink it," Dermot smiled at me, "You would anoint yourself with the blood of your enemy. When I was attacked and my head was wounded, Bellenos and I hunted down the ones responsible and killed them. I touched their blood to my head wound and it was healed. You saw it the next day. It was not just the wound that healed it was my energy, my magic and essential self that was made whole again."

I looked at Dermot. He was almost glowing, it was obvious that the hunt and the blood debt was something that he enjoyed. I didn't know what to think except I must be living wrong. How does a simple barmaid from backwoods Bon Temps end up surrounded by supernatural creatures who love nothing more that to drink blood or bathe in it. I just couldn't see myself looking forward to the blood sports. But haven't I been involved in the killing of others? I even planned for some of those deaths, granted some were survival moments, if it comes down to it's him or me and I will always pick me. Did I not feel that those deaths were all justified?

"Dermot, I may have done some ahhh …..things. I can justify them and not feel very guilty but at the same time I hate that I feel that way and think there is something morally wrong with me, is that what you mean by conflict?"

"Yes Sookie," he said and reached across the table to take my hand. "It has been a long time since I felt human at all but I can remember how confused I had been before I accepted and focused on my Fae blood." He looked at me sadly.

"Is there anyway I can stop this. I don't want to feel okay with hurting people."

"No Sookie," he squeezed my hand." Your Fae blood is awake now and gaining strength. It will not be suppressed anymore. The drive for the hunt and blood is very strong and you will learn to accept it. The best thing you can do is to learn to control your magic and accept that you are not the human woman that you thought you were and try to find your balance."

I really didn't want to imagine a time when I would be excited by the idea of the hunt. Right now it just makes me feel sick. I won't go around killing others just because they threatened me I thought indignantly. I am a good person. But haven't I already done it, more than once, and felt they deserved it. I am a bad person, a very bad person…but then I'm not entirely a human person am I? What would Gran think of me? She made me this way, could she accept what I have become? Can I? How am I ever going to walk this road between human and Fae.

I put my head in my hands and fought back the tears. Huh. Try to find my balance Dermot said. I can't remember a time when I ever felt balanced. Coping with my telepathy had kept me unbalanced to the point that other people could notice it, Crazy Sookie, that's me. Now since I've been tangled up with vampires, fairys and shifters I'm even more unbalanced. But was that entirely true? Yes, things were more dangerous but I'd found a use for my telepathy, I'd found love, been useful and valued by other people for the first time. To be honest, I'd felt more alive. If I could change things back to before I met Bill would I? I would change some circumstances but would I want to never be involved in the supernatural world? It's dangerous, fast paced and, well, exciting. Ok there's been some pain but if I could have been able to keep up and understand what was going on maybe I could have handled things better?

I looked up at Dermot who was watching me, patiently waiting for me to process all of this. "Dermot this is an awful lot to deal with, thanks for being so open with me. You've helped me make sense of a lot of things but I think I need time to get my head around it all and make some decisions." I felt tired and like my head would burst if it took in too much more today.

"Dearest Niece", he said formally, "your essence is scattered and confused. If you will allow me I will teach you how to focus and balance your energies. You will feel calmer and centred, much as you did this morning when you woke."

I considered for a moment. Dermot had said I can't turn off my Fae blood. I had felt good this morning and didn't I decide to stop running and start trying to face up to things. I might as well know what I can do since I'm not going to go back to being plain old Sookie and really, was I ever. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and let it out slowly and jumped in again. "Alright, what do I have to do?"

Dermot took my hand and led me outside into the garden. "It is easier to start out under the sky. We are sky Fae and it is easiest to harness the energy of the sky first. If you will allow me I will share breath with you to bring your Fae side into focus for you, keep your eyes closed and try to do what I tell you."

"Ok" I said warily.

He stepped close to me and put his hands on my shoulders and kind of braced himself. "Close your eyes and try to follow my breath" he said, and he leaned in and placed his mouth over mine.

My eyes flew open and for a second I felt like I was going to suffocate. Then I felt Dermot give my shoulders a gentle squeeze so I closed my eyes and tried to follow his breath. I felt it enter my lungs and focused there. It felt kind of tingly and warm. Dermot breathed again. This time I was ready and as I focused on the breath I felt the warm tingly sensation in my chest start to move to my heart and then spread out through my whole body. I felt like a mild fizzing in my blood. As soon as it was there it was gone and I was left with a sense of warmth like I would have after Gran had hugged me. It was, well, beautiful.

Dermot took a step back and I opened my eyes. He was smiling at me, "did you follow it?" he asked.

"That was amazing, Dermot. I felt kind of like my blood fizzed for a second and then I just felt warm and, I feel a bit embarrassed to say it, loved like Gran made me feel loved."

Dermot was beaming, "You felt what it is that I feel for you Sookie. You are my kin and like a daughter to me." He gave me a hug. "You did very well to feel my essence on your first try, well done. How do you feel now?"

I thought about it for a second. I felt more alert and much more focused and clear. I said as much to Dermot.

"Now I will show you how to draw energy from around you to balance and lift your energy. Come sit."

We sat in the sunny garden facing each other and Dermot took my hands in his. "We will do this together. See if you can follow what I am doing and try to do it yourself. Close your eyes and let that alert feeling you have move to outside of yourself, stretch out as far as you can and sense all of the natural world around you."

I closed my eyes and focused on the place where I knew Dermot was. I could feel his hands holding mine. I tried to stretch out my awareness. It was kind of like when I push my mind out to read people but instead of just my mind it was all of me I was pushing out. I was aware of an intense heat in front of me, I could feel the life pulsing from it, this must be Dermot. I felt him start to expand out and start to pull more heat or energy into himself. It was like I could see what he was doing in my head and I tried to do that as well. I stretched out further, I could sense the life all around me, the woods, the plants the animals, the air itself was alive. I started to pull in from the air around me, I felt myself heat up and almost start to vibrate. It was a powerful feeling. I heard Dermots voice say "Sookie start to pull yourself back now" I seemed to instinctually know how to do it, again it was like pulling myself out of a mind and coming back to me.

I opened my eyes and smiled so big my cheeks hurt. "Wow, that was incredible," I said a little breathlessly, "I could feel the life in everything around me and felt a part of it."

"How do you feel now?" Dermot asked.

"I feel kind of buzzed, like I've been plugged into a socket and charged up to bursting. I feel calm and alert and just sort of switched on" I replied.

"You did very well for your first time. Like you knew what you were doing already. Have you tried this before?" Dermot questioned.

"No, I've never experienced that before. It is a bit like when I push out to read peoples minds though, so I guess I've kind of had a bit of practice in a way. How do I know when to stop?"

"When you start to hum in tune with the life around you, you are in harmony or balance with them. You can linger for a while if you wish or pull back to yourself. Keep practicing this till you can do it very quickly and effortlessly. This is the basis of our magic." He stood up and held out his hand to me. I grabbed it and he pulled me up.

I gave him a hug and said "Thank you Uncle Dermot, I was starting to believe that all things fairy were tricky, deceitful and bloody but this was something beautiful."

He looked at me seriously and said "Not all Fae are like the ones you have met so far. There are many who are more pure of heart and strive to move up. There are many beautiful places in Faery." He stepped away from me and grinned. "I'm nearly ready to start painting," and off he went to the house with the air of a kid sitting down to open presents on Christmas morning.

I felt ready to tackle anything, like I was really healthy, well rested and strong. I had faced one problem I had been running away from and while it wasn't all good news it wasn't all bad either. I'm on a roll today, might as well start to tackle the large Viking shaped problem I have been running from. Unfortunately, I don't think there will be anything easy about this one either. I turned and walked toward the house, determined to start to sort out how I felt about Eric.