A/N: Here's the next chapter. Hope you enjoy & please review!
Best of Me
Chapter 2: Raise your Glass
"Hi," Alex said softly.
Addison just stood there with her eyes wide in shock. Okay, she thought to herself. This is obviously some type of drunken hallucination. She briefly closed her eyes, but when she opened them again, Alex – no, Karev – was still standing there, looking at her questioningly. Damn it!
"Uhh…is everything okay?" Alex asked, a mix of confusion and amusement playing on his features.
"Um…I…uhh" Addison stammered. Get a hold of yourself, Addison scolded herself. Just form words. It's not that hard.
"I can't be drunk," Addison finally blurted. "I mean, I've only had one vodka, and I can read the clock just fine." Smooth, very smooth, she congratulated herself wryly, shaking her head in disgust.
Alex raised an eyebrow and gave her his signature smirk, "Um, okay."
"What I meant to say," Addison recovered, "is what are you doing here, Karev?"
What was he doing here? Alex considered telling Addison about how he didn't get Chief Resident, how he destroyed his friendship with Meredith when he told the Chief about how she tampered with Shepherd's clinical trial, and how his relationship with Lucy had crashed and burned. In truth, he only really cared about the first two. As much as Meredith and Cristina were convinced that Lucy had been good for him – that, by dating her, he was finally getting over Izzie – they had no idea that it wasn't Izzie that he needed to get over. Nobody in Seattle realized that, by dating Lucy, Alex wasn't moving on at all. Lucy was an OB – a constant reminder of Addison. And even if the similarities between Addison and Lucy ended there because, who was he kidding, Lucy couldn't hold a candle to Addison in the O.R, and the feelings that had for Lucy would never even scratch the surface of the feelings that he used to have – okay, the feelings that he still had – for Addison, he figured that Lucy, or someone like her, would be as close as he would ever get being with Addison.
He had blown his chance with Addison a long time ago, a mistake that, to this day, he hated himself for. When he blew her off, he was convinced that he was doing her a favor, maybe even protecting her. Addison was looking for a good guy, she was looking for the guy – the type of guy who barbeques and teaches little kids to play catch. That wasn't him. He had grown up with a drunk, abusive father and a sick mother – he had no idea how to be the type of guy she wanted. He didn't know if he was even capable of being that guy. So, he pushed her away, vowing not to hurt her the way that Shepherd and Sloan had. In the end, he still ended up hurting her but, what he hadn't counted on, was how badly she would end up hurting him when she moved down to California a few weeks later. Alex tried his best to get over her, reverting back to habits of his early intern days. His walls came back down, and he began sleeping his way through the hospital again. He married Izzie and, although he did love her, a part of him was relieved when their marriage failed. Alex did his best to get over Addison, but every time she returned to Seattle, he would realize that his feelings for her were still very much there and any progress that he had made in getting over her was all for nothing.
"Um, Karev? Addison asked. "Is everything okay?"
"What?" Alex asked, startled, still lost in his thoughts. "Oh, yeah, uh, sorry. Um, what were we talking about?"
"I asked you what you were doing here. Kind of a softball question, Karev."
"Right," Alex squirmed. "Um…I just needed to get away for a while. Clear my head, ya know?"
"Okay, but why California? Why my house?"
Alex sighed uncomfortably as the reality of the situation hit him. He had just showed up at her house, unannounced, late at night. In what world was that cool?
"Look, Addison," he stammered. "I'm sorry, it's late. I, uh, I shouldn't have come here tonight. I'm just…I'm just gonna leave. It's just…"
"Alex," Addison said, cutting him off. "It's okay. And from the looks of it, you could really use a drink and, since I was planning on drinking myself into a coma tonight, I might as well have some company."
"I've got some tequila in the trailer," Alex offered.
"The trailer?" Addison asked wrinkling her nose in disgust. "Don't tell me you have a trailer too."
"Shepherd gave it to me," Alex answered innocently.
"Ughh. I hate that thing. Well, I have vodka in the house, and I'm already one glass in. Let's start with that, and see where the night takes us."
"Okay," Alex agreed stepping into Addison's well-decorated beach house. "Great place, by the way."
"Thanks. Vodka's in the freezer. Glasses are in the cupboard over the sink. Help yourself."
"Wait. Where are you going? I thought the plan was not to drink alone," Alex smirked, as Addison began to head upstairs.
"To change into something a little more appropriate, and a lot less revealing," Addison retorted matter-of-factly.
"The bucket hat?" Alex asked with mock fear.
"Shut up and pour the vodka, Karev. I expect to see a drink waiting for me when I return," Addison shot back, using the tone that she used to use with him when he was her incorrigible intern.
Alex smiled as he watched her retreat, and set to work pouring drinks for himself and Addison.
xxxxx
"Okay," Addison said, entering the kitchen, a few minutes later, wearing a Yale t-shirt and yoga pants. "Let's drink."
Alex took in her appearance. It had been common knowledge at Seattle Grace that Addison Montgomery looked incredible in her designer skirts and killer heels, but as he studied her closely, now, Alex couldn't help wondering how in the world she managed to make such casual clothes look sexy as hell.
"So," Addison began, raising her glass, "what are we drinking to?"
"How about to not being in Seattle?" Alex asked raising his glass as well.
"I can get behind that," Addison nodded, clinking her glass against his and taking a hearty sip of vodka.
The pair drank in silence for a while, stealing glances at each other when they thought the other wasn't looking. Finally, Alex gathered the courage to break the silence. "So," he began from his place on the loveseat, "something's wrong with you. You wanna talk about it?"
Addison raised an eyebrow, shifting on the couch that she was sitting on, "You're the one who showed up at my house in the middle of the night. I think you should talk about it."
"Well played," Alex conceded, as Addison refilled their glasses.
Addison looked at Alex expectantly. He took a gulp of vodka, and the proceeded to fill her in on the chief's wife's Alzheimer's, Sheppard's clinical trial, Meredith's breech of ethics, and how he had cost himself chief resident by opening his mouth, and ratting out Meredith for tampering with the clinical trial files so that the chief's wife wouldn't get the placebo.
"Wow," Addison breathed when Alex finished. "I'll definitely give the chief a call tomorrow." She brightened, "Oh, and when you and Meredith make up, because I know you will, be sure to tell her that if she is ever in need of a job, she'd fit in perfectly around here. You wouldn't believe some of the ethically questionable shit my practice has pulled."
"That's your response?" Alex asked, pretending to be hurt. "You're clearly drunk. I'm cutting you off." He motioned towards himself, "Hello? Gifted surgeon denied chief resident position, and your response is to offer Meredith Grey a job?"
"Oh, please," Addison retorted, "you already know I think you're a talented surgeon and, for what it's worth, I am sorry you didn't get chief resident." She shot him a quizzical look, "Don't you have a girlfriend to inflate your ego with these types of pick-me-ups?"
"Lucy, nah. We broke up."
"Oh," Addison said quietly. "I'm sorry to hear that. Although, now that you're no longer with her, I feel an obligation to tell you that her surgical skills are seriously lacking."
Alex chuckled. "Good to know." He paused, contemplating his next move, "Okay, so now that you know why I'm miserable, why were you so intent on drinking yourself into a coma tonight?"
"Uh…yeah…well, it looks like you're not the only one dealing with a failed relationship. I just ended one about an hour ago."
"Oh," Alex mouthed. "Sorry."
They stared at each other in silence for a couple minutes, not knowing what to say. "I could leave," Alex offered. "I mean, you probably want to deal with this stuff on your own."
"It' okay," Addison smiled weakly. "Besides, it's less pathetic if you get drunk with somebody, than if you get drunk alone."
"Then here's to only being mildly pathetic," Alex said, raising his glass, hoping to make Addison smile. A small laugh escaped her lips, and Alex relished the sound of it.
"Did you love her?" Addison asked, catching Alex off guard.
"What?"
"Wow, that was wildly inappropriate. You don't have to answer that. I don't know why I even…"
"No, I didn't." He hesitated for a moment. Oh, what the hell, she asked him. It was only fair. "Did you love him?"
Addison hesitated. "I said I did, but I think I said it more to sooth my own conscience than anything else." She watched the confusion cloud Alex's eyes. "Sam is my best friend's ex-husband," she continued, "and I couldn't be that woman again, so I insisted that I loved him and, even when I knew that our relationship wasn't going to work out, I continued to insist that I loved him because, if I didn't, what would that make me? The bitch, who not only slept with her husband's best friend, but with her best friend's ex-husband. And I couldn't have that. I can't have that."
Alex got up off the loveseat and sat down next to Addison on the couch. Taking her hand in his, and rubbing it softly, he said, "Nobody in Seattle sees it that way anymore, and you know it. Shepherd and Sloan have moved past it. Hell, they're even friends. And while I can't speak for the people here, I'm sure they don't see you that way either."
Addison shrugged. "Maybe," she replied unconvincingly.
The sadness in her eyes caused a lump to form in Alex's throat, as he was reminded of how broken she looked all those times back in Seattle when Shepherd would shoot her a patronizing look or Sloan would make hurtful, unfair comments to her. He couldn't stand to see her hurting then, and he couldn't stand to see her hurting now. He had to find a way to lighten the mood.
"You'll get through this, I know you will," Alex smiled.
"What?"
"Well for starters, you're a lot tougher than you look. I mean, you lived in Shepherd's trailer."
"I didn't like it."
"Yeah, but you sucked it up. I mean, I walked out the door of that trailer, one morning, saw a bear, and screamed like a little girl. And you, you lived with Shepherd – that's a lot scarier. I wouldn't have been able to do that."
A small smile came to Addison's lips and, before long, both she and Alex were laughing about the trailer and their miserable experiences there. And, just like that, the somber mood was broken. Alex and Addison spent the next two hours drinking and laughing as they talked about surgeries and gossiped about their colleagues. And Alex smiled when he looked down and saw that he had never let go of Addison's hand.
xxxxx
"You did not read Violet Turner's book?" Addison giggled drunkenly, as she ran her hands up and down Alex's muscular arm.
Alex tried to ignore the shivers running down his spine. He held his hand up in protest and chuckled, "Look, you have to keep this on the down low. People already think I'm soft for giving up plastics; if this gets out, I'll never hear the end of it but, yes, I read her book."
"But why?" Addison laughed. "I mean, it doesn't exactly strike me as your type of read."
Alex cringed. "I heard it was about some crazy lady performing a quote-unquote c-section; it sounded cool. Besides, it's been so long since I've actually had a good neonatal attending, I thought I might be able to learn something about technique from that psychopath," Alex laughed.
"Oh, you are going straight to hell, Dr. Karev," Addison teased. Then lowering her voice, she suggestively added, "Missed me that much, huh?"
"Hey, who said I was talking about you?" Alex protested. But, then, lowering his own voice to match her seductive tone, he replied, "Yeah, I missed you. A lot."
Addison's eyes flickered down towards Alex's lips as she began to close the space between them. "Addison," Alex started, swallowing hard, "are you sure this is a good i…"
"Shhh," Addison interrupted. "Just for tonight, please?"
"It's just…we're both…so….messed up right now," Alex tried to protest. "I wouldn't want to take advanta…"
"Alex, we're both adults," Addison reasoned. "You're going through a tough time. My life, as of late, has been nothing but one long string of tough times. Can't we just be two friends helping each other get through a tough time, no feelings attached?" she asked, gently caressing his cheek with her hand.
As much as Alex wanted to protest because, let's face it, he could never not have feelings when it came to Addison, he found himself completely defenseless against her. Looking into her clear blue eyes, feeling her soft touch against his cheek, and breathing in her perfume again, he wanted nothing more than to pull her into his arms and kiss her for all he was worth. "Sounds reasonable," he finally murmured, pressing his lips up against hers.
The kiss started slowly and gently, but it quickly became more urgent, desperate, and passionate. Addison pulled Alex in to deepen the kiss even further when the front door swung opened and Amelia's cheerful voice rang out, "Well! Look who made…up?"