Thought Without Learning Is Perilous

by Deagle Brand Deagle

Boldwood thinks of his final choices as a free man in the first one-shot, while Bathsheba reflects on her attempt to start again in the second. The third one-shot is a happier vision of what could have been between Boldwood and Bathsheba if Boldwood had taken a leaf from Oak's book. Complete for now.

2. All Knowledge Hurts

"If I had known what it would be like to have it all, I might have been willing to settle for less."

- Lily Tomlin

Each time I think I should be happier, I cannot help but remember the lives I have laid low through my happiness.

I will grant you, that destruction arose from a lack of regard for others, but I was still happy as I did not know what those others felt. I had no mind for Mr. Boldwood when I sent that valentine, nor any mind for the woman of whom my late husband spoke. I put Gabriel through these thoughtless tortures while all the time he stood at my side, gently guiding me as though I were his ewe.

I want to laugh, but when I laughed I showed disdain for others. I feel as though I will never regain my cruelly innocent gaiety, as I have lost too much and learned too much of the world and of people. I wonder if Gabriel notices this fracture in my spirit, or if he simply acknowledges it as experience and assumes I will be whole again.

If I should laugh again, it would be at the circular pattern of my life. Nothing is more amusing or terrible than ending where you began with less of yourself and more reluctance to begin again.