I liked the Harry J. Potter one so heres the second edition!
How To Care For Your
Hermione J. Granger
Congratulations!
You have successfully received your Hermione!
Your Hermione should have come with:
1.) A magic wand
2.) A bag of parchment, ink, and quills
3.) A change of black standard robes
4.) A copy of Hogwarts Through the Ages
5.) A Ron Weasley plushie
(WARNING: Do NOT take this from your Hermione as she might get violent)
6.) A Fur Real cat
Setting Up Your Hermione
Step one
Open the box that Hermione came in.
If she is reading, give her a few minutes and then
ask her kindly to come out. She should since Hermione
is usually polite.
Step two
Unpack all of Hermione's things (don't pick up the plushie for Hermione will get this as soon as you aren't looking.),
and let him pick out a room.
Step three
Hermione is quite used to the muggle world
so she's not suprised by things such as electricity and
telephones so have no fear in watching television (Mind not to have it up to loud as it will disturb her reading).
Step four
To keep your Hermione happy, you must remember
to feed and care for your Hermione.
If you don't, Hermione may run away
and you will not get a refund.
Now that you've read the instructions, have fun and remember
not to let Hermione use magic in front of Muggles.
Thank you once more,
Dracomaxandme Productions
P.S.- Please note that Hermione is a tattler, fun-sucker, and is very
sensitive but have no fear, she'll get over that phase in the next book.
For those of you who don't know what a Fur Real pet is, they are those dogs cats hamsters etc... that move, make noise, sometimes walk around, and are covered in fur. Generally very creepy. I had a GoGo my walking pup.