Office Hut had isles upon isles of miscellaneous supplies. Everything from notebooks to backpacks to pens and desk snacks- it was like a boring businessman's dream. Dipper and Mable stood in the entrance with their parents and Bill.
"Alright, kids. Your father and I need to run up the street to Grocery Town to grab some ingredients for dinner. We'll swing by and get you in forty minutes or so. Try and be done shopping by then! Billy's volunteered to watch you two, so stick with him."
"Awe, what?" Dipper protested, "We don't need to be babysat while we buy pencils!"
"Well, then, Billy's job will be easy. See you soon!"
The twins wrinkled their noses. Fuck this guy! Who gave him the right to follow them around incessantly like a dark cloud? What did he even know about school? Nothing, probably. He didn't even seem to know how to take care of his flesh vehicle. He'd been in more accidents in one day than Dipper or Mabel got in to in a month! He was covered in bandages and bruises, and he desperately needed a shower. He was repulsive.
"Leave us alone, Bill! We can shop without you." Mabel grabbed Dipper's wrist. "C'mon, Dipper. Bill can find his own supplies."
"Wait, what?" Bill looked surprised.
"You'll need supplies to be a senior, you know." Mabel tapped her foot. "I thought you were like omnipotent or something!"
"Shut up! I am. I just like bothering you two, is all. You ruined my plans so now I'm going to ruin your lives."
"Not if we can help it." Dipper glanced at Mabel, pointing off in the direction of the far wall. "He can't hover around both of us!"
Mabel nodded. "One, two, three, GO!"
They sprinted off in opposite directions, leaving Bill standing awkwardly at the front and whipping his head back and forth, trying to figure out which twin to follow. He'd already lost sight of Dipper, so he decided he'd just catch up to Mabel and belittle all the stupid things she grabbed for her basket. He took off after her, cursing his weak mortal form as he clipped the edges of shelves, accumulating new wounds.
He finally caught up to her by the backpacks. She was admiring a pastel pink and green bag, rubbing her chin as she tried to picture how it would look if she added glitter and patches to make it cooler.
"What a stupid color," Bill sneered, "Looks like strawberry milkshake and toothpaste."
Mabel grinned. "Strawberries! I could put glittery strawberries on the front! Thanks, Bill- I'll get this one!"
Bill slapped his forehead. He'd inspired her? What a little shit! Time to kick it up a notch.
Next isle was notebooks. Mabel selected four- one with a unicorn on the front, one depicting her favorite boy band, one with multicolored stars, and a solid blue glitter notebook.
"Sheesh, kid! Those are the ugliest notebooks I've ever seen. They're almost as bad as your sweaters!"
That struck a nerve. He watched gleefully as Mabel looked up at him, hurt in her eyes. Tears welled in the corners.
"You really think my sweaters are ugly?" She whimpered.
"They're the worst! You have the most awful sense of fashion of anyone I'v ever seen, and I've been around! You'd be better off fishing clothes out of the trash, you pathetic little-"
"Hey! Leave that poor little girl alone, you bully!"
"Yeah! Who gave you the right to criticize her? I think she's wearing a lovely sweater."
"It's the cutest sweater I've ever seen. Besides, at least she knows how to shower. News flash, buddy- I can smell you from here!"
"Yeah! Have you ever heard of soap? Get a life, asshole. Oh, and that jacket with that hat? You've got no right to talk shit when it comes to fashion, honey."
Mabel turned to the other customers, smiling and wiping the tears from her face. "Thanks, everyone." She choked.
"No problem, Kid. You want me to get a manager to throw that jerk outta here for ya?"
"No, no- it's okay. I'll be fine."
He was ashamed. Did mere humans really think he looked like a dirty, powerless bum?
The other shoppers slowly returned to examining pens and computer chairs while Bill followed Mabel to the far corner of the store, where they stood alone. Mabel whipped around, tears completely gone and a murderous look in her eye.
"Listen here you geometric one-eyed piece of shit with no depth perception, I know how to play heart strings. I can take your constant belittling and bully-like behaviors and turn everyone around me against you. I'm fucking adorable and I can guarantee that no matter who we're with, they'll take my side. That being said, I'm fine with you picking on me, if you piss me off, I'll just throw you to the crowds to be ripped apart. But let me warn you: if you try anything on Dipper, I will obliterate you. Any trace of your pathetic existence will be ground to dust and scattered to the winds. You're human now. Weak. Vulnerable. Mortal. Don't test me, Cipher. I can be your best friend, or the thing that makes you want to stop existing. It all depends on how you treat my brother. Capiche?"
Bill started at her in shock. Mabel swore at him? Mabel threatened him? How dare she? Didn't she know what he was? An all-powerful dream demon, that's what! He narrowd his eyes to slits and wrinkled his nose in disgust.
"Don't ever talk like that to me again, kid. You can't touch me. I'm-"
"Bop." Mabel jumped up and booped him on the face. "I can."
"I'm serious. You and your brother are going to be the two most miserable kids on the face of the Earth until I make sure you can't take it anymore! I'm gonna-
Mabel grabbed the front of his shirt and yanked him down, causing him to lose balance and fall right in to the corner of the metal discount basket face-first.
Pain was getting less and less hilarious.
"Whoops." Mabel flipped her hair and walked off toward binders.
The twins finished shopping just as their parents arrived and met up by the checkstand.
"Hi, kids! How was it?"
"Fine."
"Great!"
"Find everything you need for school?"
"Yep! And they even had an awesome sale on crayons!"
"Good for you, Mabel! I can't wait to put your pretty pictures on the fridge. Did you get some for Dipper, too?"
"Of course! I'd never forget my brobro."
The twins high-fived.
"Oh, Mabel, that reminds me- there were some 3d stickers on sale. I grabbed you the last sheet of them."
"Thanks, Dipper! I can stick them to my binder!" Mabel hugged her brother. The hostile, menacing beast from earlier was nowhere to be found. Bill began to wonder if he'd hallucinated it.
'I'm gonna have to keep an eye on her,' He thought as he sat awkwardly between them on the ride home.
Dipper noticed Bill watching Mabel, making a mental note to keep an eye out for his poor sister.