The Secret Life of the American Teenager is the product of creator Brenda Hampton, and the producer's and owners of ABC FAMILY CHANNEL. The characters and original plot is their's, but the story is mine.
LET IT DIE
This story arch takes place after Ben and Amy have both left for New York. They have both avoided one another, because Ben wanted Amy to make the first move. So she decides too do so, only it is not the move Ben wanted her to make, but it will be the move that sparks a deeper change in Ben.
June 15, 2012
8:25 PM
New York Apartment of Ben Boykewich
Ben: Hi, Amy. Come in. Can I get you anything.
Amy: No, Ben I don't need anything I just came to talk.
Ben: I heard that you and Ricky didn't get married, I'm sorry to hear that.
Amy: No, you're not Ben. We both know that you are not sorry, so let's not pretend.
Ben: (smiling) You're right Amy I'm not. We both know that you and Ricky are wrong for each other, and the only reason you two even got engaged was for John.
Amy: No Ben you're not wrong. I love Ricky, and even though he and I are not in love, I do love him.
Ben: So if that is the case why are you here with me in New York, and not in California with Ricky, and your son.
Amy: I'm here because I couldn't give up this opportunity to try and be on my on, Ben. I became a mother so soon in my life that I never really lived. So, I am taking this time to enjoy my youth so that way I will be ready to fully commit myself to being a mother.
Ben: What about Ricky, don't you think that he deserves the same privelege?
Amy: Yeah, I do. But, Ricky is willing to wait and take care of John.
Ben: So, you left to be on your own. Being with me had nothing to do with it.
Amy: No, Ben it didn't. Ben I care about you, but we should be serious. You and I are not meant to be, and nothing is ever going to change that.
Ben: Amy, after everything why are you saying that.
Amy: Because for it needs to be said. Because after everything that you have been through and everything that I put you through, and everything that you have done for me I owe you the truth.
Ben: The truth is?
Amy: The truth is Ben, I care about you alot. But I am not in love with you, and you are not in love with me.
Ben: NO! (becomes frustrated) The truth is I'm in love with you, and you're in love with me. That has always been the truth Amy, you know it, and I know it.
Amy: No, its not Ben (starts to cry). Truthfully we wanted to be in love, but we could never fall in love. You did everything to be there for me, and help me, but you never really loved me.
Ben: I did everything for you Amy, how could you say that I don't love you.
Amy: Because if you ever were in love with me, you would have never slept with Adrian.
Ben: How dare you. After everything you have done, you're going to throw that back in my face.
Amy: Yes, I am Ben. Because if you ever really loved me you would have never slept with that ... that...slut!
Ben: Don't! Don't you ever call her that. She might be a lot of things, but she is not a slut.
Amy: Really because she is the one that slept with your best friend. She is the one that moved another man into your home, and your bed while your family paid for it. She is the one that gave up on you when you needed her the most.
Ben: What about you Amy. You did the exact same thing with Ricky that she did, with Henry and Omar.
Amy: But, you were never married to me, not really. I was never the mother your child, and she was. If that is the type of woman you would try and spend your life with, then I know we are not meant to be.
Ben: But, you are meant to be with a man that denied he was even the father of your child. A man that tried to be with your sister. The same man that was with Adrian. You would love a man that would sleep with you only because he wanted to pop your cherry. Or did he sleep with you because he was too cheap to get a condom.
Amy: (Slaps Ben) Ricky had problems Ben that is all.
Ben: So did Adrian, so did I. But, let me ask Amy, what was your problem. I asked you a long time ago and you never answered why did you sleep with Ricky that night. Were you in love with him? No that wasn't it. Were you just captivated by him? Or were you so naive you actually believed all of his bullshit?
Amy: Whatever reason I slept with Ricky is my business Ben, and not yours.
Ben: No, it is. As you said yourself after everything you put me through, and we've been through I deserve an answer.
Amy: I'll tell you why I slept with Ricky if you answer why you slept with Adrian.
Ben: (looks at her angrily, then...) Because I needed to. Because she needed me, and I needed her. That night I came to try and make peace with you and see if we could get back together. But instead of talking to me, you used that instant to tell me how you kissed Ricky. You never even asked why I was there. You just took it as an opportunity to hurt me. When I saw Adrian, she was hurting just like me. So when we started talking, we both wanted to make the pain stop. That night everything that you and Ricky did to us from the moment we met you went away. Yes, we wanted to hurt you and Ricky, but it was the only way. Neither of you had any idea of how much we cared about you, or how you were hurting us. I slept with Adrian to show you what I was feeling so you would understand the misery of what I was dealing with everytime I saw you with Ricky.
Amy: Then she got pregnant, and you married her.
Ben: It wasn't that simple, and you know it. But, now it's your turn why did you sleep with Ricky.
Amy: Because I could. Because he was cute, attractive, and I was that naive. I thought he really liked me, and if I slept with him then he would be my boyfriend and we would live happily ever after. Happy.
Ben: So when he turned into the jerk that just used you, and left you. Why would you agree to keep his child.
Amy: You were the reason I kept John, Ben.
Ben: Amy, I might have influenced you but it was your decision. You didn't have to date me, either. You didn't have to say you loved me, so why did you.
Amy: Because I needed someone, and you were trying to be the man I wanted and needed.
Ben: So you are that selfish.
Amy: That's not being selfish Ben.
Ben: Really, then what would you call it.
Amy: Being a confused teenager.
Ben: Well we aren't teenager's anymore. We're adults, young adults but still adults. So tell me Amy what do you HONESTLY FEEL FOR ME.
Amy: I feel sorry for you Ben. For everything I did to you, and everything I put you through. For losing your daughter, but at least you are not in a loveless marriage with Adrian.
Ben: No, don't do that. Don't think for a second that my relationship with Adrian didn't have love. Because even though it failed miserably, it was literally one of the only happy times I have had in a long time.
Amy: Well every guy has a good time with Adrian, just ask Henry.
Ben: If I were you I wouldn't talk. Or that bed that your son lays his head in will start screaming.
Amy: (tries to slap Ben, and he stops her.) You know what Ben, you are nothing like the man I once thought I loved.
Ben: You are nothing like the woman I wanted you to be. No matter how hard I try you will never be that woman.
Amy: Who was that woman Ben? Who was it that you wanted me to be. Someone who wasn't pregnant, and would be your sex slave...
Ben: No Amy. The woman I wanted would be someone I could trust. From the beginning to the end. From start to finish. From re-try, to Finale. I was always honest with you about everything. I gave you every opportunity to be honest with me, and you always did what you wanted instead of thinking about what others needed. I guess that's why you are here, while Ricky takes care of John. No matter how much you try and deny it you are that selfish.
Amy: Maybe, but if you were really in love with me, you would never say that to me.
Ben: Amy if I didn't love you I wouldn't have said it at all. But, you're right if I were in love with you I would have said it a long time ago.
Amy: Well you didn't. But I knew we were never getting back together the moment you chose to marry Adrian.
Ben: I married you too.
Amy: Yeah, but you weren't in love with me when you married me were you.
Ben: I loved you both, but I guess neither of you were in love with me. But, I tried.
Amy: So did I.
Ben: No, you didn't. Neither of you tried. (opens door for her to leave) You tried for Ricky, and she tried for Ricky, and for Omar. Not for me. I think you should go now.
Amy: Ben, we don't have to end like this, we can still be friends.
Ben: No, we can't. I don't think we can be friends Amy, I don't think we were ever friends .
Amy: (looks at him and starts to cry) You mean that don't you.
Ben: I've never lied to you, why would I start now.
Amy: Fine, (wipes away her tears) I guess I'll see you around. (walks toward the door)
Ben: If you do, just avoid me.
Amy: I know, this hurts Ben, but I am grateful to you, for being there when I needed someone.
Ben: I know. (Closes door as she walks out.) But none of you were there when I needed you. I guess its because I never needed any of you.
PLEASE LISTEN TO THE SONG "LET IT DIE" by 3 Days Grace
Ben leans against door and begins to have flashbacks of his relationships, and friendships.
We had fire in our eyes in the beginning
I never felt so alive in the beginning you
You blame me but
He has flashbacks to first seeing Amy, Adrian, and Grace and how they all fawned over Ricky, and avoided him. He rubs his hands through his hair, as he slumps to the floor against the door.
It's not fair when you say that I didn't try
I just don't want to hear it anymore
I swear, I never meant to let it die
He remembers how he was there for Amy the day they went to the abortion clinic only for her to be embarrassed by holding her hand. He remembers seeing Ricky hug her in the hall. He flashes to marrying her, because she wanted to keep Ricky from the baby. He remembers forcing her to call Ricky, and how John cried in his arms, but not Ricky's.
I just don't care about you anymore
It's not fair when you say that I didn't try
I just don't care about you anymore
He remembered trying to talk to Amy about what she was feeling, and how he was ready to have sex. He remembered going to Italy only to learn Amy went to sleep at Ricky's apartment. He remembered his dad and he arguing about him giving Ricky the apartment. He remembered Amy, getting mad that he had fun with Maria. He remembered having fun on the beach with Maria, and how Amy made him break up with her without even asking to talk. He remembered Amy telling him with a cold stare how she kissed Ricky.
We had time on our side in the beginning
We, we had nothing to hide in the beginning
You, you blame me but
It's not fair when you say that I didn't try
I just don't want to hear it anymore
He remembers talking to Adrian with the encouragement of Mr. Molina. He remembers calling her to be friends and allies. He remembers talking on the phone with her while in Italy. (Gets up and throws the table on the floor.) He remembers her coming to his car that night. He remembers talking to her about sleeping together. He remembers her taking the pregnancy test.
I swear, I never meant to let it die
I just don't care about you anymore
It's not fair when you say that I didn't try
I just don't care about you anymore
He remembers holding her hand when she was upset with her father and came to him for comfort. He remembers going to see her at the abortion clinic, and trying to figure out what to do. He remembers telling Amy about the baby, and their break up. He going to see her and giving her the ring.
You say that I didn't try
You say that I didn't try
You say that I didn't try
He remembered sleeping with her in bed, and kissing her in the kitchen. He remembered proposing to her at Papi's Taco's. He remembered talking about the condo, and sleeping togther for the first time. He remembered arguing with Amy about the shower, and talking to Adrian about what had happened in the hallway. He remembered marrying Adrian, and the day the lost Mercy.
I swear, I never meant to let it die
I just don't care about you anymore
It's not fair when you say that I didn't try
I just don't care about you anymore
He remembered how hard it was going back to school, arguing with Adrian, seeing Ricky place his arm around Amy while they talked. He remembered kissing Adrian on the balcony, and yelling at her in the nursery. He remembered taking her hand at school, and her telling him that she wanted Ricky. He remembered seeing Ricky and Amy get engaged on stage
I just don't care about you anymore
I just don't care about you anymore
I just don't care about you anymore
I just don't care about you anymore
He remembered Ricky and Omar leaving Adrian in embarassment, and they danced. He remembered Henry and how he rejected him after he discovered he slept with Adrian. He remembered Adrian saying goodbye when the divorce was finished. He remembered seeing Adrian, Dylan, and Omar at the condo. He remembered Adrian coming to him after Omar hurt her, and sleeping with Alice after the school fire. He remembered when Henry betrayed him again, and the arguments he had with his father over Amy, Adrian, Henry, Alice, Dylan, and everything.
Ben: I hate them all. I wish they would all just die. Or my heart will. (leaves the apartment and goes to the top of the stairs and looks out over the roof at the moon. He thinks it would be so easy to jump. He was not that weak. He wouldn't be their victim anymore He would get stronger, and he would let his love for all of them die.) I don't need you Amy, I don't need Adrian, I don't need Dad, or any of you. I never needed any of you. Turns around, and goes back to his apartment.