Edit: Added a vote at the bottom

A/N: I received a question a pm from someone last chapter asking my WHY Naruto wants so much power. Thank you, dragoon-zerox, I forgot to include some of the reasons. Some can't be revealed yet, but he wants enough power to crush Konoha completely, by himself if need be. Of course, that's not the plan, so he wants to turn Konoha's only allied major village to his side. There are a few more reasons that'll be revealed along the way, but he wants to get revenge (and then some) for the many attempts to kill him the people have made. Well, that's currently the only question I've gotten, so I'll start the story. Oh, and this chapter will probably be more light-hearted than the first.

Special thanks to: dragoon-zerox, for asking me questions which are helping me to get my writing straight, and for the ideas on scrolls. The scrolls in question will probably appear in the third chapter, as this one ended up longer than I expected, and I need to sleep.

Note: As Naruto's mother, Uzumaki Kushina, is said to be from the land of whirlpool, and I can't find any sources on the land of whirlpool, but there are several lands based on water, I'm taking liberal usage of the ability to make it as I wish.

Disclaimer: Kisame does not eat children. Just like I don't own him, or any other Naruto character, except for my OCs, most of whom are unimportant. I also don't own South Park, from which I might have ripped off a scene.

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Tsunade wanted a drink. Even more than she usually wanted a drink. Jounin trackers had traced what was identified as Naruto's blood to a crocodile-filled lake. Finding only a few pieces of bone and scraps of Naruto's clothing, the answer was obvious.

Then she had been brought the note. All hopes that Naruto had somehow survived were crushed by reading it. She knew that she had responsibilities as the hokage, such as calling in Naruto's friends when they were conscious and telling them, but right now she just wanted some of that blissful oblivion herself. She was about to ask Shizune to not bother her about drinking for the night, when-

"I need a drink." The utterly Tsunade-ish words came out of Shizune's mouth instead. Hardly able to conceive this coming from Shizune, Tsunade's mouth hung open like that of a dead fish. Snapping out of her shocked state, the hokage pulled out not the usual sake, but a bottle of scotch, imported from the land of whirlpool.

Hours later, a jounin would walk in only to see the two kunoichi passed out on the floor. He would then back out, deciding he didn't want to know.

Miles away, one Uzumaki Naruto was in a bar. His hair was purple, his eyes were purple, and he was wearing a black robe. No one was going to recognize him in this form. Ordering a jug of sake, he sat down at a table and decided to enjoy himself.

Hours later, the biggest bar-fight in the history of that town ensued.

Many more miles away, six ninja in cloud covered black robes were drinking to celebrate their successful sealing of a tailed beast.

Hours later, "God" would have a hangover, resulting in the flooding of Amegakure. Three people and a monkey died.

The Next Morning…

Naruto woke up feeling something was wrong. This was confirmed when he saw a pile of unconscious bodies beside him. Thanks to a killer hangover, he just walked over to the bar, wondering if he could find any hangover medicine.

Walking out of the bar a half-hour later, the ninja decided to look through his scroll collection, now that he didn't have to worry about vomiting on them. A short run took him about two miles out of town. Deciding he was far away enough, the purple haired ninja sat down, opening his scroll bag.

The first thing he found was a box with the number four on it. Flipping the latch that held it closed, he picked out a number of scrolls, a few letters, and a series of pictures. Deciding to look at the pictures first, since he had done a lot of scroll-reading recently, he held up the first picture. In it was a young Yondaime hokage, who looked strangely like Naruto, and a pretty woman with red hair. They were walking up to a movie theater, with the title "Titanic" on the board showing what movie was playing. Flipping to the second picture, he saw the couple walking out of the theater, the Yondaime crying his eyes out, while the redheaded woman was just looking annoyed at her boyfriend. Flipping through more pictures, one of some strange metal contraption with spikes and chains on it, until he came to what looked like a baby shower.

In the next picture, Yondaime was rushing the girl to a hospital, with her gasping and panting. Next showed the Hokage pacing back and front in front of a door, looking nervous as hell and smoking a cigarette (I actually saw a picture of my own father doing just that. Fortunately, I didn't find any 'other' pictures.). Apparently, he eventually decided to stand by her, because the next picture was of a pissed off redhead in labor punching the famous Yondaime in the face.

Thereafter, he apparently left to fight the kyuubi, and in the next picture, a sad-looking jounin was walking up to a crying Yondaime, holding a baby. With shock, Naruto recognized the baby as a very young him. So the fourth was his father, and that redhead was his mother? He felt nauseous as he remembered some of the earlier, rather naughty pictures he had seen. Deciding to put that aside, he flipped to the last picture, trying to find out more, but all he found was a black and white picture of the two holding hands, with the words "Namikaze Minato and Uzumaki Kushina: The fiercest couple in all of Konoha".

So the Yondaime, his father, was called Namikaze, and his mother was the Uzumaki? 'Minato and Kushina… Dad… Mom…' with these thoughts, he turned to the letters, as scrolls usually contained jutsu, and he wanted to know more about his parents. Picking up the first letter, he saw it was addressed to him. Ripping it open, he read it out loud.

"Dear Son, I'm sorry I won't be around to raise you myself, but if he survives his battle with the kyuubi, your father will give you this letter when you're old enough. You see, there were some complications in childbirth, and it was either me or you. I picked you. I wanted you to know, all my possessions are to be passed on to you, and I love you. I've decided to name you Naruto, after my favorite food. Ramen!" Naruto had been crying up until this point, but now he twitched as he found he had been named after his mother's favorite food, ironically his favorite, too. It ruined the serious mood the letter had up until this point. "I expect you'll eventually follow your own path in life. I couldn't stand being cooped up in my village either, so don't worry; whatever you choose to do in life, I'll be proud of you. Just don't hook up with a fashion obsessed, boy-crazy girl, like this Haruno bitch I always used to fight with, or an angsty, selfish emo-nin like Uchiha Fugaku, this old fart who was always lusting after my man. One last thing before I go, give your old man a whack on the head for me. Your loving mom, Uzumaki Kushina. P.S. – The Uchiha clan sucks, don't get one drunk, they'll whine for hours."

Naruto laughed while tears slowly ran down his face. His mother really was like him. That letter just proved it. He really wished he could have known her. If only his dad hadn't been taken by the death god, they could have been together in the afterlife, or the next life, whichever it was. With a guess about what it said, he opened it and read.

"Dear Son, sorry, but I guess you won't get to know your mom or dad. I don't have much time right now, but I do want you to know a few things, as well. Your mother and I were forbidden to have our relationship by the council, as she was a missing-nin from Whirlpool. Ironic, isn't it, her, and your, last name being Uzumaki (can mean whirlpool or the thing in ramen)? I wish I didn't have to seal the kyuubi inside you, but just to let you know, if you need the power, the kyuubi's yin chakra was sealed in you. Only the yin, if you wish for the yang chakra, I left it in Jiraiya's hands. Jiraiya, one of the three sannin, trained me, and I trust him to train you as he did me. All of my belongings I give to you, and I wish you to be called a hero by those of Konoha, because that's what you are. I suspect, however, that that won't be the case. If it is not, I just want you to know, I'm proud of you, just like your mother, no matter what you do. And I also wish you would stay away from the Uchiha clan. In this case I have your mother's and my own scrolls, some of our favorites. If you want to find the rest, travel to the country of whirlpool, where I hid the rest of our possessions away. Find the old Uzumaki residence, the villagers should have left it as is. Before I go, I want you to know, son, I'm sorry, and I love you. Your father, Namikaze Minato, Yondaime Hokage of Konohagakure." Those last few sentences settled it. Naruto had a new destination.

"I'm heading to the country of whirlpool! Here I go!" Placing everything back in its spot so he could come back to it later, Naruto headed northwest, to the country of his mother's birth. He wanted to make it in two days, so he needed to make the most of the remaining daylight.

Back in Konoha, just about everyone close to Naruto was depressed. Sakura had begun to feel close to him, and just tried to do what he would. She just continued on working through her sorrow. Sasuke withdrew in upon himself even more, heading off for his manor to be by himself. Kakashi covered his eyes, and then jumped out the window to visit the memorial of his old friends.

Hinata had given up on Naruto, and gone out with Kiba, but she still cried on Kiba's shoulder. Kiba himself tried to cover up his grief by claiming they never had the rematch he had challenged Naruto to, but the tears gave it away. Shino tried to stay in character, but a single tear still trickled down his cheek. Kurenai simply held on to Asuma, who lit up a cigarette in honor of the wind-user he had become somewhat fond of.

Shikamaru took one of Asuma's cigarettes, using the smoke as an excuse to cry. Naruto had been one of his friends, though he wouldn't usually admit it beforehand. Ino tried to comfort Sakura, but ended up crying on her more than helping. Chouji dropped his bag of potato chips, closed his eyes, and refused to speak.

Lee had a waterfall of tears running down his face as he hugged Gai, which was creeping everyone out. Neji managed to hold himself together. Barely. Tenten was simply crying, as she and Naruto had become friends while she was teaching him to use his katana. It didn't help that she had secretly found herself attracted to Naruto.

A while after the group had departed, Kakashi decided he needed to cheer Sasuke up. Sasuke had been rescued by Naruto, and was probably affected greatly by the ninja's suicide. Dropping by the Konoha Movie Outlet, he bought the newly released Icha Icha Paradise: the Movie. Before going to the Uchiha mansion, he picked up a jug of sake. Depressed ninja don't always realize booze can be a bad thing.

"What are you doing, here, Kakashi?" The Uchiha was, to say the least, surprised at the copy ninja's visit. After quickly removing his sandals, explaining that he wanted to cheer Sasuke up, and pouring both of them liberal amounts of liquor, Kakashi popped the movie in Sasuke's DVD player. It was all going fine until the first sex scene.

"Sasuke, why are you crying?" After looking at the curse mark on Sasuke's neck, something popped into the tipsy ninja's mind. "Sasuke, I've heard that Orochimaru has problems with molesting young boys."

"No, Orochimaru would never do something like that!" Sasuke's denial held up for a second, but after his sensei pulled out a rucksack bag filled with cotton and sewn to look like a young boy, demonstrating things Orochimaru may have done, the Uchiha broke down in tears. Kakashi had guessed as such.

"I suspected as much. Don't worry, it's over now." Kakashi was shocked when the Uchiha hugged him tightly, sobbing "That's not just it." The copy-ninja was about to ask about Kabuto when Sasuke interrupted.

"I wanted Naruto! I loved him!" Surprised but not disturbed by this revelation, the silver-haired ninja stroked the boy's dark hair. Eventually, Sasuke's sobs stopped. Looking up, he asked the older man, "Would you hold me?"

The things that ensued were to be expected of drunken people, both of whom were emotionally devastated, at least one of which was sexually frustrated. With the porno music of Icha Icha Paradise in the background, screaming later echoed through the house.

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A/N: Yes, I went there. I wasn't expecting to finish chapter two so early, but it seemed like a good point to stop and post. I don't think I'll be able to post a new chapter so often, since I've got college tomorrow (Monday) and I'm going to visit my relatives right after break starts. If I don't finish the next chapter by then, Happy Mabon, everyone! Oh, and Thanksgiving, even though it's not a holiday of my religion, I still enjoy it.

Next Chapter: Sakura visits the Uchiha mansion too early, Naruto reads some scrolls and finds the rest of his inheritance, and Kakashi turns emo. Yes, I have been poking fun at soap operas along the way.

Vote: Should Naruto keep his hair purple or change it to red?