Disclaimer: I do not own the characters. Thanks for reading.
It's the first Friday of our new school year, the weekend was hours away, and everyone was sharing their trinkets from summer vacation. It seemed like the more I tried to participate in the conversation, the more I was mocked.
"Admit it, the closest you got to a boy was when the camp put on 'The Sound of Music' and you played Baron Von Trapp." Nat proclaimed loudly.
"Everyone said I gave a sparkling performance." I said proudly defending myself.
"They were talking about your braces, kid." Jo replied as the three laughed at me.
I wanted to tell Jo just how interesting the Mini Ha-Ha Camp was. My response was cut short as Mrs. Garrett complimented me on my obvious changes. Despite them calling me "a child" I was determined for them to see me in a more developed way.
I tried talking to the girls when we served lunch. I even tried to speak as we cleaned the cafeteria after dinner, but it was a complete failure. They teased me about whining and pouting. Blair even made a thumb sucking gesture. Feeling left out and pushed aside as a baby in the slow lane. Not a big girl like Blair, Jo, and Nat reduced to a whining kid I left for the auditorium. On the bright side I knew they'd see me as mature as them in time, I just wanted it to be instantaneous.
Despite being snubbed, I was excited to attend the Drama Club meeting. I couldn't wait to see Molly again. After our special summer together just the thought of her made me feel alive yet fearful. Frantic butterflies took ownership of stomach. I still didn't understand what this all meant yet. I just knew Molly knew everything I was experiencing and was supportive, direct, and patient with me.
As I scanned the auditorium I saw her joking with Nancy. As I happily approached them I paused, because Margo appeared out of nowhere, invading Molly's personal space. I never cared for Margo since she was a rude elitist jerk. She was sadistic and I hated how she mistreated Jo.
But what I saw made my blood boil and my stomach to drop. Margo rudely interrupted Nancy, flipped her hair, and spoke animatedly to Molly. She stroked her arm then intertwined their fingers, she was openly flirting with Molly. I stood frozen my eyes glazed with tears, my mouth opened widely, and lips quivering. Blair was a natural flirt, but Margo made her seem amateurish.
"Hey Tootie it's wonderful to see you!" Nancy said hugging me oblivious to my distressed appearance. "How was first your week back?"
As she pulled away I couldn't stop my tears from flowing. "Hi Nanc" watching as Margo draped herself over Molly.
"Tootie what's wrong? Why are you crying? Is everything okay?" As she said my name for the second time Molly overheard her growing concern.
Our eyes met and Molly gasped shoving Margo away. I was too confused and hurt I had to leave. "I'm sorry Nancy I have to go now!" I stated with a shaky voice mumbling some lame excuse.
"TOOTIE! WAIT!" Molly exclaimed.
I sprinted to the door the pain felt was too much. The fearful butterflies replace with a bottomless feeling. I heard the door swiftly open as Molly called out my name. It was dark out but I was too fast for her.
"What happened? What did Dorothy say?" Molly asked worriedly.
"She walked in smiling and before I could speak she had a painful look on her face. After I hugged her she began crying and mumbled dorm monitor duties, excused herself and ran." Nancy replied concerned.
"I need to speak with her!" Molly said raking her hands through her hair.
"Come on Mol maybe she's worried about doing a good job while on probation." Nancy said while patting her shoulder. "Maybe she's upset about something, didn't you two go together at camp? Maybe she doesn't want to perform the same play again!"
Molly knew better, as kind and sweet as Nancy was she behaved dimly at times.
"You're right, the depth she has for her craft is profound," Molly replied with a halfhearted smile. Hoping Nancy would return to the auditorium. "I still need to talk to her NOW!"
Molly was determined to make up an excuse to go to the cafeteria to speak with Tootie. Margo's such an arrogant attention-seeking woman with an angle. I'm so glad were not roommates this year and that I can end our friendship. Especially since her actions hurt Tootie. Molly thought grabbing her jacket as Ms. Downes escorted the two to the front of the auditorium. Both expressed concern for Tootie's erratic departure only to be told to check on her after the meeting.
I finally made it to the lounge and cried. The myriad of negative ideas about my sexual identity, Molly, Margo, and worse case scenarios overwhelmed me. I need to find strength to face Molly.
Maybe Jo's home I could ask for advice on how to handle confrontation. As I entered the room the girls were acting oddly suspicious. After a bit of questioning Jo gave up showed me type of party they were having.
The blow up that ensued added insult to injury, I felt completely rejected by the girls and Molly. Emotionally driven I threatened to report their drinking. I knew I wouldn't I just couldn't handle the constant rejection. I believed I lost Molly and now my best friends.
Their cutting remarks as they left for the laundry room were the final nails in the depressing coffin of my life. I angrily declared I'd show them all, grabbing the bottle of wine and the class they left behind to drink alone. Maybe I could drown and forget my sorrows for awhile, maybe it would inspire new solutions for everything happening.
After I down my first taste of alcohol the cool, yet heated stinging sensation was a bittersweet reflection of my current state. It tasted awful at first, but the more I drank the better I felt. The better I felt the better it tasted. Until I had downed the entire bottle of Blair's French Reserve.
During that time I decided to write an angry letter to Molly and the girls. Shortly after the messages were completed I felt dizzy and funny. I decided to make my way to the kitchen for water. The wine left me dehydrated, and fuzzy. Hitting the last step the wind was knocked out of me as I ran into Mrs. Garrett and our Headmaster, Mr. Harris.
My fearfulness and unresolved emotions begin to churn my stomach or so I though. Until the nasty aftertaste of wine came out in a hiccuping belch stated otherwise.
Despite the room spinning headache slowly starting, I had enough of my faculties to alertly reply to them both. Everything seemed perfect until Mrs. Garrett smelled liquor on my breath and I mistook a window for a door. Dorm Monitor Tootie Ramsey on the job I must've laughed or responded weirdly enough for Mrs. G to shield me from Mr. Harris. The moment he was gone Mrs. Garrett scolded me in outrage. The strain in her voice made me feel like crap, I felt like I had no one that I could trust or that trusted me. The self-pity and heartbreak returned as I bawled while she escorted me to my room. En route there my body decided it needed to purge from the wine. After puking and Mrs. Garrett helping me get clean, fell asleep. The sickness was a bit of a blur but I knew I had to face everything shortly. So I savored the few moments of escape from my current reality.