Joel cleared a path for them through the maze of blocked-off streets and makeshift checkpoints the hunters had made by arranging disabled cars. I guess they're the new military, Ellie thought with disgust as she chipped at a painted-over quarantine sign that now warned "ARMY PIGS YOUR TIME IS UP". She wondered whether the hunters saw themselves as heroes and liberators. As far as she could tell, they barely qualified as human.
Up ahead, Joel beckoned her to keep up.
"Ellie, stick close," he scolded. "There'll be a lot of 'em in these buildings."
At least this time she didn't fall behind because she was hanging around reading out of the joke book she'd found, Ellie thought. Instead of retorting, though, she followed Joel into the nearest unblocked doorway.
He was right about the buildings. They ran into their first group on the second floor, and Ellie watched as Joel took them out one by one.
Four buildings over, a hunter in a ski mask got the drop on him, and Ellie bashed the guy over the head with the closest thing at hand – a crumbling brick. Joel finished him off with a boot to the head. For about the millionth time, she really wished he'd let her have a gun.
She had to admit, though, Joel was pretty efficient on his own. They made it back down to the street without any more serious trouble, and he signaled that the coast was clear.
"…Aw, no," groaned Ellie when she saw the road ahead. It was underwater in what looked like ten feet of murky green rainfall, with no way to cross on foot. "Are you serious?"
"Afraid so," Joel replied.
He scouted up ahead, climbing onto a partially submerged SUV and judging the distance between it and the next spot of dry footing. From where Ellie was standing, it looked like about a seven-foot leap.
She must have been right, because Joel muttered, "I can't make that jump," and turned back to her.
"Well, what do we do?" she asked.
"I'll see what I can find."
Privately, Ellie was grateful Joel didn't give her shit for not being able to swim. It was surprisingly tactful of him. Didn't keep her from feeling useless, though.
No gun, and I hold us up every time there's a really deep puddle. I'm about as much good as a third leg growing out of his armpit, the teen reflected.
She was still stuck on that thought when gunfire and screams split the air from up ahead. Joel! was her first, panicked thought, until she realized he was still in the water. The noise was coming from the overpass.
Ellie hugged her arms around herself, and hunkered down.
A minute later Joel returned, pushing a wooden palette in front of him. "Come on," he urged, "we'll cut through the hotel."
o
The palette got Ellie up onto a makeshift bridge that led across to a window in the front of the hotel, but Joel ended up having to come up through a little coffee shop at the opposite end. While he searched for a way up to her, Ellie glanced around curiously.
"Did you go to coffee shops a lot?" she asked, noticing the way Joel lingered a little in front of the rusted machine.
"I did – all the time."
It was almost a little bit fun, she decided, putting him together one tiny piece at a time from the mundane details he would sometimes let slip. She could see him in a place like this now, ordering lunch and flirting with the waitresses.
Tess would have been right at home in a coffee shop, too. Maybe Joel would call her up and they'd sip their drinks together by the window and grouse about the other customers.
Thinking about Tess stung more than Ellie expected.
Pushing the memory of the fierce older woman who reminded her so much of Riley out of her mind, she went back to her cheerful interrogation of Joel.
"And? What would you get?"
"Just…just coffee."
She snorted. Now that was typical Joel.
Internally, she pegged him as a double-shot cappuccino kind of guy. Ellie wasn't sure what that meant, but Riley'd had this book about a hardened private investigator who kind of reminded her of Joel, and that was what he'd drunk. Or…maybe things had been different before. Maybe he was a different kind of person who'd have ordered a different kind of coffee.
"Hey," Joel called, startling Ellie out of her thoughts. He'd managed to get up behind her without her noticing. "Come on, we're crossin'. I'll go first to make sure it's clear, so you hang back."
Inside, the hotel looked even more dilapidated. A grand-looking staircase had collapsed in the center of the room, and mold stained all of the walls. At least it smelled a little better, Ellie thought, wrinkling her nose. The water was shallower, too, so she ran around checking the place out while Joel investigated for a way to the upper floors.
At one end of the lobby, she found a check-in desk with its service bell still out "Cool," she muttered, giving it a light tap. The resulting peal felt like it must have rung through the whole hotel. Oops.
"Ellie," Joel called from the other side of the room, "knock that off."
Rolling her eyes, Ellie continued her investigation of the desk.
There was a clipboard with a hand-written list of guests, ending on October 4th, and a tall brass trolley off to one side. "Whoa, this place was oldschool," she murmured.
In her imagination, the hotel was new again, all gleaming wood and sparkling glass, and she and Joel were on vacation together. She would be somebody famous, like a politician or a rock star, Ellie decided, and Joel could be her bodyguard. It was nice to not be a kid in ratty jeans and a smelly, hole-riddled shirt at the end of civilization for a minute, even if just in her mind.
Putting on her most dignified impression of a well-to-do adult from before, she drawled, "Oh, I'll be checking in for one night, and I would like your finest suite, please."
"What the hell are you doing?"
Joel had come over from the opposite end of the room, looking puzzled-borderline-disapproving.
"Checking us in. Duh," Ellie replied. She gave her imaginary concierge a look of long-suffering. "Oh, uh huh, he's always like this. Why, yes, you can take my luggage upstairs!"
Joel snorted. "You are a weird kid."
She grinned at him, spinning around and flashing her light in his face. "So what do you think, darling, should we get the presidential suite or the penthouse?"
"I think you should stop screwin' around, and help me get us up to the second floor. Found a spot that should work."
"Oh, come on, Joel. It was a fucking joke! Loosen up a little bit, jeez."
"Let's just keep moving." Joel's back was already turned to her, and Ellie puffed her cheeks out in exasperation before following.
"Do you even know what a joke is?" she asked. "I've still got that book, y'know. I could teach you. I think I make a great teacher, if I do say so myself. Your sense of humor can still be saved! It's not too late!"
Joel kept his back turned, intent on setting up a ladder.
"Think I'll pass," he responded dryly.
The ladder slotted into place, and Ellie climbed up after him. Joel didn't so much as throw back a "watch your step".
Maybe calling him 'darling' had gotten under his skin, she realized with a jolt of embarrassment. It had all been part of the stupid joke. If he thought she was actually hitting on him, then he was just being way too sensitive. Not her problem.
Now that she thought about it, though, she had been imagining booking a room for the two of them. In the fucking penthouse suite. Yeah, that did kind of look bad.
Ellie groaned internally, and contemplated just dropping off the ladder to her certain death in a foot and a half of brackish water.
For better or worse, Joel chose that moment to lean over the ledge above.
"C'mon," he grumbled, "we ain't got all day."
And that was it. Just his usual brand of short-tempered impatience. Ellie breathed a sigh of relief, and wrapped a hand around his forearm when he reached down to pull her up.
o
Things went pretty smooth for a while as they snuck through the upper floor of the hotel. Apparently, everybody had bailed out of here without bothering to grab any of their stuff, because the rooms were a goldmine of supplies. Joel took out the handful of hunters they ran into, quick and quiet, and Ellie managed to keep herself from making any more stupid comments.
Only problem was, all the staircases were blocked.
"Shit," Joel muttered, trying what felt like the hundredth door. It was locked, like all the others.
"Hey, what about over here?" Ellie called, pointing to an elevator with its doors maybe a foot ajar. "I bet I could fit through that."
As soon as he glanced over, Joel shook his head. "No, just hold up. Let me try to open it."
"Be my guest."
She stood back, watching the corridor behind them for any more guys who might still be prowling around. The muscles in Joel's back bunched and strained under his shirt, and finally the doors creaked open with a hair-raising sound.
Joel went first, and climbed the ladder with Ellie close on his heels. She shut the hatch behind them with a firm clang.
"Just in case," she supplied with a shrug.
The elevator shaft led to another, and this one was a way tighter squeeze – she was pretty surprised Joel managed to cram himself through there. They dropped down onto the top of another elevator car that wobbled precariously under their feet. Ellie grabbed onto Joel's arm for balance and then immediately let go, laughing it off.
Joel nodded up to the opening a few feet above their heads. "You find me something to climb on."
"You got it, captain," replied Ellie. She stepped into the cradle of his hands and he boosted her up with an easy strength, like he was familiar with the weight and balance of her already.
Ellie had just enough time to wonder how long have we even been on the road together? before something creaked under her, and the support under her foot fell away with a sickening lurch.
"Aw, fuck!" she shouted, and grabbed onto the ledge of the doorway at the same moment she heard Joel shout "Oh shit!" from below.
The moment she pulled herself up, Ellie wheeled around to look back down the shaft, her heart hammering.
"Joel?"
There was no answer. Something clenched in her stomach.
"Oh my god! Joel! Say something, you fucker! Joel! Joel!"
There was a splash down at the bottom of the shaft, and then –
"I'm alright! Are you okay?"
"No!" The tightness in her throat showed in her voice. Fuck. "You scared the shit outta me!"
Ellie swallowed back the lump that had lodged itself in her chest, taking a deep breath. She really didn't want Joel to see how much she was freaking out.
"I'm – I'm gonna climb down there, okay?" she called, lowering a leg into the shaft and willing the uncertainty to stay out of her voice.
"No!" Joel's tone was sharp. "Water's too deep. Stay up there. I'll make my way up to you."
"No fucking way! I'm not staying up here by myself!"
"We ain't arguin' about this."
Ellie bristled. "I don't even have a fucking weapon!"
That seemed to give him pause. The splashing got quieter, like maybe he'd stopped swimming away. Finally, she heard him shout up, "Shouldn't take more than twenty minutes. Stay put. You'll be fine."
Then everything was silent.
It was the first time she'd been separated from Joel since Marlene dropped her off with him, and Ellie had never felt more exposed. She'd been alone plenty in her life, but she'd gotten so used to having Joel at her back the past few days…she might as well have been naked.
To kill the nerves, she took the penknife out of her pocket and flicked it open, shut, open shut open shut open shut.
"Come on, Joel," she muttered.
Where did elevator shafts even go? The basement? How deep was the water? How long would it take him to find his way back to her? The whole building was like a stupid maze.
Twenty minutes, he said, Ellie reminded herself. I'll give him twenty minutes. Then I'll go looking for him.
o
Twenty minutes came and went. Or at least, it felt like it did. It could have been five minutes, or an hour. Underneath the way she kept checking either end of the hallway for hunters, Ellie was surprised to realize that the uneasy feeling in her gut wasn't for her own safety.
Instead, she was thinking of Joel.
Down in the bowels of the hotel, fighting his way through a cluster of infected or a search party of hunters. Hurt. Bitten. Maybe with a busted leg from falling. What else could be holding him up? Determination ran in the guy's veins, and if he said twenty minutes then it should have taken him twenty minutes.
What was she doing waiting around while Joel needed her help?
"Oh, god dammit."
With a moan of frustration, Ellie pushed herself to her feet, tucked her knife back into her pocket, and headed for the nearest stairwell.
o
When did I start worrying about that old geezer so much? she wondered as she slipped past a battered-down barricade. Joel could probably take care of himself, but Ellie couldn't help feeling like he needed her. Stupid, Ellie. Stupid, stupid, stupid. You're not supposed to care about him!
But the more she tried to talk herself out of it, the more it sunk in: she was more scared for Joel than for herself.
That was the kind of thing that got people killed, Marlene always said. And Ellie had had no problem living by that motto. Especially not since Riley.
Ending up dead scared the shit of her, but the thought of something happening to Joel on her account was even worse. It spurred her into motion as she heard the noises of a struggle ahead, behind a set of doors marked "Ballroom". What if it's clickers? the rational side of her asked.
But what if it's Joel?
Her mind made up, Ellie pushed the doors open, and just in time. A guy had Joel on the ground and was pushing his face down in a puddle of water. Joel's gun lay a couple of feet away.
Ellie froze.
If she jumped on him, the guy would probably shoot her. If she tried to get close to get the gun, he'd probably hear her and shoot her.
But if she didn't do anything... Joel would be dead.
Fuck, thought Ellie, I really hope this dude is a bad shot.
She sprinted over and snatched up the handgun, aiming it with a shaky hand. The hunter looked up at her, his eyes big and surprised. He looked scared. Ellie hesitated for a split second, her breath catching in her chest.
She pulled the trigger.
It was a bigger blast than she remembered, firing a gun. Her arm jerked wide to the side as the man's head exploded in a mist of blood and gristle. Joel burst up out of the water, gasping for breath, and relief flooded through Ellie's numb nerves.
His eyes landed on her with confusion.
"Man," she breathed shakily, "I shot the hell outta that guy, huh?"
Whatever it was in Joel's expression, he seemed to shake it off, rising to his feet slowly. "Yeah, you sure did."
Ellie's knees felt a little like jello. She sank down onto a crate behind her, the gun dangling limply from her fingers. Once she'd fired, all the power and threat had gone out of the thing. Now it was just heavy.
"I feel sick."
Joel snatched it out of her hands, a displeased twist to his mouth.
"Why didn't you just hang back like I told you to?"
The words crashed over her like a bucket of ice water. He was scolding her for saving his life, because she didn't just do what she was told? Ellie felt something in her chest crumple. She looked up at him, searching for any sign of acknowledgment for what she'd just done.
"…Well, you're glad I didn't, right?"
He sneered. "I'm glad I didn't get my head blown off by a goddamn kid."
Fury blazed through her, and she surged to her feet.
"You know what? No. How about, 'hey, Ellie, I know it wasn't easy, but it was either him or me, thanks for saving my ass'?" Joel stayed silent, looking away from her. Ellie bit her lip. "You got anything like that for me, Joel?"
He just looked angry. Honestly, she didn't know what she was expecting.
"We gotta get going," muttered Joel after a moment, and turned away. Ellie shook her head in disbelief at the stupid plaid pattern of his soaked shirt, feeling an irrational anger toward it, toward the pack on his back, even the crease of his jeans around his knees.
I can't believe you, she thought furiously. You got me thinking I cared about you when you obviously don't give two shits.
Out loud, she said, "Lead the way."
o
Neither of them spoke much on their way out of the hotel. Every so often Joel would give her an order or tell her to watch out, and Ellie would reply with one-word answers.
As she and Joel heaved on the furniture blocking a door together in complete silence, she realized that she was sulking. It chafed, seeing how childish her own behavior was, especially since that could only give Joel more of a reason to brush her aside and not take her seriously. But she really, really did not feel like making idle chit-chat with him right now.
Plus, Ellie didn't want to be the one to fold first.
The cabinet moved, finally, and Joel hauled it out of the way with a strained grunt.
"Watch your step going down," he muttered. It didn't even sound sincere.
Ellie flipped him off behind his back.
It wasn't until they reached the bottom of the staircase, and another pile of furniture blocking the way, that the anger she was feeling solidified enough to put it into words. At the bottom of the pile, there was a small gap, just big enough for somebody with narrow shoulders to fit through.
"Turn around, we're not going through here," said Joel.
"Why not?"
"Because we can't see what's on the other side. Could be a trap, infected – I ain't riskin' it."
"I could get through," she pointed out, gesturing at the hole. "I could check it out, and if the coast is all clear we could pull this stuff down and go through here."
Joel shook his head.
"No way. There's too much that could go wrong."
"But it won't! This is bullshit! Why won't you let me do anything to help?"
He stuck his pointer finger in her face. "Because you are a kid, and you're a goddamn liability."
Ellie's anger exploded in her chest like a pack of fireworks, hot and acid. "I fucking am not! I had your back earlier, you know I did! So let me do it now."
"Ellie, that ain't how this works. I am an adult, and I can handle myself. I do not need you watching my back."
"Yeah, but you weren't! You were fucking getting your ass kicked!" Joel opened his mouth to argue, but she kept going. "You keep saying you don't need me, but you do. Just admit it. Neither of us is going to get through this alive if we don't rely on each other!"
The ringing silence that followed made her realize just how loudly she'd been talking. Joel took a deep, sharp breath through his nose. Oh shit, she thought, now I'm gonna get it.
"I understand," he finally said, very quietly, "that you want to help out. But your friend Marlene hired me to get you where you need to go in one piece, and I plan to do that."
"It's not gonna kill me to do some of the heavy lifting, Joel. You know, pull my own weight?"
"Ellie, that – that ain't your place. A kid your age shouldn't be shootin' people, or putting her herself out on the front line."
But he was going to kill you! Ellie thought fiercely.
And, as much of a dick as Joel could be, especially right now, it occurred to her that she would do it again in a heartbeat. Joel was all she had left, she realized with a start – other than Marlene, who Ellie might never see again, he was the only person she had to fight for. The only one obligated to give a damn about her, too, even if he was getting paid.
Somehow, this didn't feel like part of a business transaction.
"It's not like I love throwing myself in harm's way," she pointed out quickly, "I just don't want you to get fucking killed and have to find the Fireflies all on my own."
It was a bad lie, but better than telling him straight up that she was starting to care a little too much. That would definitely get him to look at her like a liability.
Joel fixed her with a sharp look. "Yeah, I reckon you don't want that." He turned and started heading back up the stairs. "Come on, we're gonna find another way around."
"But – "
"Don't argue. You want to help? Help by doing what I say. When the time comes, I'll let you have your shot. But not on this."
Was he saying what she thought he was?
"…Okay."
With the slightest of nods, Joel led them back up the stairs. They found their other way through: a covered balcony, overlooking an open courtyard full of hunters. When Joel told her to hang back, Ellie just about lost it on him again – but then he put a rifle in her hands.
His own hand was broad and warm on her shoulder as he showed her how to work the action, how to sight her target. Trepidation was thick in his voice.
"Make every shot count," he told her, and something fluttered in her stomach.
She tried not to let it show. Their eyes locked.
"I got this."
Joel didn't look convinced, or maybe he couldn't shake the last of his guilt over putting a kid behind the trigger, but after a moment hesitating, he moved away. At the edge of the platform, though, he turned back and said quietly,
"Just so we're clear about back there, it was either him or me."
Oh, thought Ellie. Guess this is me getting my chance. She raised the rifle to her shoulder.
Her first, nervous shot nearly took Joel's head off, and blew four feet wide of the guy she was aiming for.
The second shot hit true.
o
"How'd I do?"
Joel was crouched over the body of a dead hunter, picking over his belongings. Ellie padded over to him slowly, the rifle still in her hands. It still unnerved her a little, the way he handled the dead like they were nothing but things.
She wondered if she'd killed this one, or if Joel had.
"How 'bout something, uh…a little more your size," Joel said, holding out a handgun. That must have been what he was looting the guy for, Ellie realized. Not supplies, not ammo, nothing for himself. Just…something she could defend herself with.
He stopped her when she reached out to take it. "It's for emergencies only," he said firmly.
She'd wanted a gun since they'd been stopped by the soldiers in Boston, but it felt different now. Emergencies-only was more than fine with her.
Suddenly, she was grateful for him fighting her on this.
Wishing there were a way she could tell Joel she understood – that she got it, now, why he was trying to keep her out of the action – Ellie nodded.
"Okay."
Their fingers touched for a moment as he handed over the gun, a little service pistol with a snub nose. It reminded her of herself in a way: scrappy, small, and probably hopelessly outclassed for the fight it was in. Rounded down soft at the corners, too.
Ellie tucked it into the back of her pants and cast one last look down at the face of the man on the ground as she passed him.
It was hard to tell, but she thought it looked like he'd been shot at far range.
"Now – now, the safety's on. Do you know how to switch it off?" Joel sounded almost nervous; he was practically hovering over her. Ellie was a little surprised he didn't make a grab for her waistband and try to take the gun back.
"I do."
Joel didn't look convinced.
"Okay. You just…you just gotta respect it. This is not – "
"Joel," she insisted, "I'll be careful."
He gave her a doubtful look, but nodded. "Right. Well, you want me to teach you how to shoot that thing – just lemme know."
Abruptly and completely against her will, Ellie's mind pulled up the memory of Joel's hand on her shoulder, the heavy, careful press of his palm as he lined her up with the rifle sight. She'd wanted to lean into that touch, she remembered. A tinge of pink rose on her ears.
"I'm, uh – I think I'm good. I can handle it. Safety off, bullet in the chamber, point it at the bad guys – yep, got it," she rambled, jogging ahead a few yards.
By the time Joel caught up to her she had mostly managed to shake the feeling off. They walked shoulder-by-shoulder for a while without eye contact before Joel cleared his throat awkwardly.
"Listen, uh – "
At almost the exact same time, Ellie blurted, "Look, you don't have to – "
The two glanced sideways at each other, their gaze catching. Joel looked away first. He rubbed a hand over the back of his neck, and Ellie decided to try again.
"Thanks for trusting me not to blow my hand off with this thing."
The older man was silent for a long second.
"You earned it back there," he admitted gruffly. "Just don't make me regret it."
Ellie rolled her eyes, but when Joel wasn't looking, she smiled. At the small of her back, the gun was a firm weight, already warming to her skin.
o
In hindsight, she was surprised she hadn't pulled her new sidearm on Henry when he jumped Joel; if that didn't scream "emergency", nothing did.
Still, maybe out of habit, she'd gone for her knife first. Even now, after fighting their way across the city with Henry and his little brother, Ellie wasn't sure exactly why she hadn't drawn on him. But it was looking like a good thing – Henry practically had the hunters' guard schedule memorized, which made him her and Joel's best bet on getting out of the city.
Having Sam around didn't hurt, either.
He was kind of a quiet kid, but pretty nice once she showed him her collection of comic books that Joel had been adding to whenever he found them. Ellie made a mental note to thank him for that. It was pretty thoughtful, and it looked like it had made her a new friend.
"Whoa!" Sam was laughing, turning one of the pages upside down in fascination. His nose crinkled with a mixture of disgust and delight. "Would your head really explode like that in outer space?"
"Oh, absolutely," Ellie lied, as if she had any idea how shit worked in space. For all she knew, it could be true.
"These are pretty neat," sighed Sam, setting the comic back down on top of her bag between them with a sort of reverence. "Henry never lets me have anything cool like this."
Ellie made a sympathetic face. "Only take what you need, and all that?"
"Yeah."
"He probably just wants to make sure you get enough to eat. If I starved to death because I was carrying these dumb comics instead of food, I'd feel like a fucking idiot."
Sam shrugged. "I guess."
"But Joel would never let that happen!" she added. "'Cause he looks out for me, like your brother does with you."
"Is he your dad?"
Ellie debated whether to lie.
On the one hand, it probably wasn't smart to tell a couple of strangers the truth. They didn't seem like bad people, but you never knew. But on the other, something itched under Ellie's skin when she thought about calling Joel her dad, even as a cover.
It was funny: she'd never really stopped to examine their relationship this whole time. Things had been way too crazy to bother with it. He was just Joel and she was just Ellie, and they relied on each other. End of story.
But now, thinking about it, Ellie realized that she'd come to care about the testy old timer way more than she thought. She'd had no problem shooting a guy for him, something she'd always sworn never to do except in self-defense. And she'd been willing to risk getting shot, too. Something about Joel brought out the crazy-fucking-stupid in her, that much was obvious.
He was way more than a stranger, but they weren't exactly friends, either.
And, she realized with an uncomfortable jolt, they'd never be partners. Joel still thought of her as a burden, and just a kid, even if he'd folded on the gun thing. So where the fuck does that put us? she wondered. What am I to you, Joel?
"Nah, he's just looking out for me," was what she told Sam. "For my mom." It was close enough to the truth. Marlene was the nearest thing she had to a parent.
"Do you like him?"
That was kind of unexpected. Ellie shrugged one shoulder, trying to be nonchalant.
"Yeah, he's not all bad. I mean, he grumbles and likes to throw his weight around, but he's really a pretty good guy. Besides, he found me all those comic books."
"Sounds like he cares about you," Sam agreed tentatively. "But I still can't believe your mom just sent you with him."
Ellie glanced down, remembering Marlene's gut wound and wondering for the millionth time whether she was even still alive. "She didn't exactly have a choice. Some shit went down."
"Henry told me one time, he'd rather wrestle a clicker than ever trust me with a stranger."
She snorted. "I'm guessing your brother hasn't wrestled very many clickers."
"Sometimes I wish he'd let me do more of my own thing, you know? But I get it. I'm all he has now."
Boy, could Ellie relate to that. She wasn't anybody to Joel, and he still kept her on the world's shortest leash, like he couldn't stand the idea of something happening to her on principle. "Yeah, I know what you mean."
"I like you a lot," Sam confided suddenly, his brown eyes full of sincerity. "But Henry doesn't really trust anybody who isn't family. Just…just don't take it personally, you know?"
That was fair. Nobody trusted anybody; it was the only way things worked at all.
But…
"I trust Joel with my life. And you can trust him too, I don't care what Henry thinks."
Sam gave her a crooked little smile. "I'm really glad we met you, Ellie."
She punched him in the shoulder with a soft smile of her own.
"I'm really glad we met you guys, too."
o
The plan, according to Joel, was to wait until dark and then sneak past the hunters and their guard station.
"Like, right under their noses?"
"It ain't my first choice either, Ellie, but it'll take us a week to gather the recon Henry's done if we want to go this thing on our own." Joel sighed and rubbed his eyes.
He looked exhausted, and Ellie didn't blame him. They'd been on the run non-stop for a day, and she didn't think Joel had slept since even before then. She couldn't remember him taking a nap while they were in the truck.
"Joel, I really don't like this."
"What's your alternative, then? Huh? What do you propose?"
"Henry seems like an okay guy. Talk to him, get him to wait until we can come up with a better plan!"
Joel shook his head. "They're meetin' some people. It's gotta be tonight."
Out the window, Ellie could see a group of hunters gathered at the checkpoint, laughing and fucking around. All of them were armed to the teeth. There had to be at least fifteen in total.
Rushing that party looked like about the worst idea she'd ever heard, but if Joel was even considering it, there probably wasn't another way around to the bridge. At least, not one that wasn't even more dangerous. If they wanted out of this city, they had to go through there.
And she'd told Sam earlier that she trusted Joel with her life, hadn't she?
"Fine. But I still want to go on record as saying this is the stupidest thing we've ever done. Out of an incredibly long list of stupid, dangerous stuff for the amount of time we've known each other."
The 'we' slipped out thoughtlessly, and Ellie kicked herself. We aren't a team, she thought viciously. We aren't partners. I don't get a say in this. Plus, she thought she remembered Joel saying something like that to Tess, and kicking herself turned into wanting to sink through the floor and disappear.
But mercifully, Joel wasn't looking at her. His eyes were fixed on the window. Ellie wondered if he was coming up with the same odds as she was.
"No, it ain't a great plan. But we got no other choice," he said flatly. "So we're gonna get some rest, and you are gonna do exactly what I say, and if you do that, we might just make it out of here in one piece."
"Yeah, I got it – do what you say, when you say it. Stay out of the way. Be good." She sighed and flopped down in a torn-up office chair. "So. What's your first order?"
"Try to rest up."
"In this place? Fat fucking chance."
Dark eyes leveled her with a hard look. "Just try."
"Alright, alright, I'll try to stop thinking about my impending death by fucking machine-gun-tank and take a quick nap in this incredibly comfortable chair."
Ellie blew a piece of hair out of her face and closed her eyes, more for effect than anything; she knew she wouldn't be able to sleep. Beside her, she heard Joel shift, the creak of his weight on fake leather.
The rustling continued. Ellie resisted the impulse to look over and see what he was doing. Part of her wanted to know he was as thoroughly freaked about this as she was, but another part wanted him to be sleeping calmly, the unshakable protector.
When she finally gave in and cracked an eye open, he was looking back at her.
Seeing that she was awake, he cleared his throat and rubbed a hand over his beard. The lines around his mouth seemed deeper.
"Ellie," he began cautiously.
She tried to play it like she'd just woken up – rubbed her eyes, yawned a little, the whole nine yards. "Huh?"
"I know you weren't sleepin'."
Ellie flushed bright pink. Joel didn't seem pissed, but it was embarrassing anyway.
"Look, I don't want you worrying about tonight."
"I'm not worried – "
"You being too keyed up to sleep ain't gonna help any. I need you clear-headed and rested up, alright?"
She hugged herself defensively. "I said I'd try."
To her surprise, Joel leaned over the armrest of his chair and put a hand on her shoulder. He hadn't touched her much except to drag her from place to place or boost her up onto things. It felt like when he'd taught her how to shoot the rifle, heavy but gentle, full of an unspoken urging.
"Listen, there's a real chance this thing could go bad. I ain't gonna lie to you about that." His grip tightened. "But you need to know that no matter what, I am not going to let anything happen to you."
"Yeah, I know, Joel."
Joel pulled away, but he didn't look satisfied. "There ain't gonna be a lot of time to talk, so I'll say this now: you need to use that gun, you use it. But you run first, if you got that option."
Ellie searched his face, trying to figure out what it was that he wasn't saying. "Okay. I will."
He nodded and settled back in his chair.
"Get some rest, Ellie."
Five hours later, when she roused him from his own fitful sleep on Henry's command, she still hadn't slept a wink.
o
It went bad.
It went really, really bad, really fucking fast.
"What the fuck, Henry!" Ellie shouted, jerking her arm out of the man's grip as he tried to pull her along.
When Henry glanced back at her, the choice was written all over his face. Then there was another spate of gunfire and he and Sam were running the other way. Sam threw her a wide-eyed look before they disappeared into the dark.
It took Ellie maybe half a second to make her own decision. Her feet hit the ground with a thud that reverberated through her whole body, and she realized, holy shit, I'm dead. I just fucked myself over. From the look on Joel's face, he was thinking the same thing. He looked surprised, almost, that she'd throw out her chance to get away.
Yeah, well, you and me both, she thought wryly.
"We stick together," she told him, all the breath gone out of her.
In the dark, she couldn't be sure, but she thought she saw an expression of relief cross his worn features.
Joel wasted no time in wrenching up a garage door and getting her inside ahead of him. More bullets rained down in the alley, and Ellie heard him grunt in pain, but then he slid under and the door clanged shut.
"Oh fuck!" She ran to help him up. "You okay?" Outside the hunters were shouting to each other, a clamor of anger and the exuberance of the chase. Fuckers, she thought.
"I'm fine," he grunted, shaking her off.
Ellie drew her pistol, just in case anybody came in after them. "How the fuck do we get out of here?"
"Door's over here, c'mon."
They cut a path through the rest of the building, which was crawling with hunters. Ellie put more bullets into the walls than she did into the guys that rushed them at the exit, but she managed to cover Joel long enough for him to unblock the doors.
Outside, the bridge was in sight, and Ellie's heart leapt with anxious hope.
She sprinted straight for the opening in the fence. Joel followed close behind, his footsteps pounding in her ears. They were close, really close, when a bright light and the roar of an engine erupted at their backs.
"Fuck!" shouted Ellie, putting on a burst of speed.
Bullets sprayed over her head, tearing up the concrete around and in front of her, and she instinctively covered her head, but she kept running. Her legs felt like they were about to give out. From somewhere to her left, Joel roared, "Run!"
"I fucking am!"
Concrete blocks loomed up in front of her, and Ellie vaulted over them, feeling the skin on her palm tear. She leapt the next obstacle on sheer adrenaline, tripped, tried to catch herself and lost momentum. The sound of the Humvee behind them was deadly close, and she tried not to imagine it dragging her under its wheels and grinding her up.
There was a grunt of pain; for a second, Ellie thought it came from her. Joel's behind me, she realized. The bottom dropped out of her stomach.
She whirled just in time to see him stumble to the ground, clutching his leg, and there was a sick moment where she thought he wouldn't get up again.
"Joel!"
I can't carry him, came the panicked thought. She froze, torn between escape into the sheltered, dark tunnel that was just a few feet away, and going back for Joel.
Hesitation cost her a few precious seconds, but just as she tore herself free of her indecision, Joel dragged himself to his feet and staggered forward. When he saw her, his face contorted into a mix of anger and fear. "Ellie! What the hell are you doing? Go on!"
"Fucking hurry, Joel!"
Her voice was cracked with panic, and the second Joel caught up to her she grabbed his shoulder and pushed him ahead of her.
"I told you to run," he growled.
"Yeah, and I told you we stick together!"
They hopped the last barrier and found themselves standing at the edge of the bridge. In front of them, it cropped out over the water and crumbled off into nothing. There was nowhere to run.
Ellie felt like the air had all been knocked out of her.
"Oh fuck," she breathed.
Joel's eyes were wild. "How many bullets do you have left?"
Is he nuts?
"They're gonna kill us!"
He spun on her. "What other choice do we have?"
"We jump!" She pointed to the liquid darkness under the bridge.
"No," Joel said immediately. "It's too high and you can't swim. I'll boost you up and you run past 'em." There was no pause, no hesitation in his decision.
Light flooded the bridge. The Humvee had found them. It rammed the cars that formed their tiny, inadequate refuge.
"Oh shit." Ellie backed away, toward the edge, her heart hammering.
Joel moved to place himself between her and the Humvee. It gave another push, and the car in front of it scraped toward them. "Oh my god," he murmured, quiet and resigned. She'd never heard him like that – he almost sounded scared.
"You'll keep me afloat!"
"Ellie," warned Joel.
If they stayed up here, both of them were dead. Ellie made her decision.
"No time to argue!" She sprinted toward the edge, and leaped off.
"Ellie!"
The shout that followed her down was rough with panic, and Ellie felt a sharp pang of guilt knife through her before gravity caught up with her. Then she plunged, and forgot everything but sheer terror.
Icy, black water surged up around her as she broke the surface, knocking the breath from her lungs and stabbing her skin like needles. She felt herself jostled one way and then the other by the current, a helpless ragdoll. Instinct told her to suck in a breath, but Ellie managed to resist despite the panic building in her chest.
Her backpack was dragging her down, she realized, but no matter how she scrabbled at the straps, it wouldn't come off.
Every thought was getting harder to fight through. Oxygen, she realized. I'm running out of air.
Just as Ellie prepared to surrender to the need to breathe and let the water in, her head broke the surface and Ellie sucked in a wet, burning breath.
Everything was freezing, as though her senses had been muted in the murky limbo of the water and were returning to her all at once. She could hear the roar of the river, and over it, she heard Joel's voice calling for her.
"Joel!" She spun around, trying to see him.
"I got you," called Joel, wrapping an arm around her.
Relief and an absurd sense of safety flooded over Ellie. But the current had both of them now, and a second later she felt Joel slam into something. His arm went limp at her waist.
"No! Oh no, fuck – Joel!" she gasped. He was already starting to sink; all Ellie could do was grab fistfuls of his shirt and try to keep him with her, but their packs were too heavy. They were going to drown, and it was all because of her. No, no, no – he can't die. Not Joel, too!
As Ellie slipped below the surface, helpless to fight it with her arms around Joel and refusing to let go of him, she thought she saw a face appear in the water above her.
It was a crazy thought, but for a moment before she blacked out, she was sure it was Winston.