(Yet again, I haven't watched the movies, I don't know a lot of philosophy from the Jedi's teaching, but I've been doing my reading. This is what I can piece together, and I make up some of my own like you'll see Kanan doing. ALSO, THIS IS NO LONGER A TWO-SHOT! This will be a story following Master and Padawan as they grow and learn together. I have way too many ideas for this to stay as short as I planned it to. I own nothing.)
Kanan knew what Ezra was feeling, more than Ezra could know. Almost every Padawan has a touch with the dark side. For Kanan, that was certainly true. After Order 66, he had lost his way. He had wandered into not only quite a few bars, but also spent enough time in the shadows of darkness that he knew what cold was. He was still a Padawan when the order fell, just beginning to see hope for Knighthood. That only made Kanan feel guilty for teaching Ezra. At night, the image of Ezra would come into his mind, like a mirage; and Kanan would lament.
Ezra would never get to learn at the temple; never feel security on his rightful home planet. They had dragged a child into war, and were selfish enough to train him, to groom him to do their bidding. Who truly was the good side here? Where was the light? Was life just the dark and the darker? Kanan hoped that after the fighting ended, it would be clear. Kanan hoped that the future would be something Ezra would see, and that it would be filled with light. Kanan didn't care if he was there to see it with him, or the rest of the crew. He wanted his family to find peace.
Ezra was too accustomed to shadows. When he was too young to do much on his own, his parents were ripped from him. Kanan knew he could never change that, and he could never replace them. When Ezra was still so sure of the light, he had hidden in the shadows. Little Ezra had probably still had enough hope and enough good merit that for the first years, he had been reluctant to steal. He must have clung to the shadows, sleeping in them without fear. He must have gone cold in more ways than one on some nights. He must have frozen and let his mind wander off to selfish ways of finding warmth in darkness. His mind was corrupted by itself much too early. Now, Kanan could see him emerging. He could see him stepping into the light, and running to it with open arms. Rather than trying to find warmth in darkness, he was basking in it in the light. And Kanan was holding his hand, leading him there. He was finding the light and warmth as well. His heart was thawing.
Then Ezra dragged them back into cold darkness. In this critical stage of his training, he had gone backwards. But sometimes going backwards for a little while is the only way of letting go and moving forward. Ezra was emerging again, with hope-filled eyes.
Kanan stared into them now. Kanan doubted anyone could ever duplicate their color; not Sabine, no cloning. In the bright blue, the dark shadows stood out. Kanan shivered when yellow flashed across his vision, like a fire creeping into his soul.
"Isn't it beautiful? All light and dark, melding together?" Kanan looked out into hyperspace. Ezra's eyes, hyperspace, life, the Force. All of them were full of light and dark, contrasting and hypnotizing. Kanan could feel Ezra's shrug, a depressing little jerk of his slim shoulders. "Don't look out there too long. You can get lost sometimes," Kanan warned. It was true. If you looked back, if you thought too hard about your life, you can get lost in the darkness. It was odd, how some saw darkness seeping into light when it was truly the light poking through the darkness. Kanan shifted his gaze from space back to his Padawan's face. His expression was begging Kanan for something. Kanan didn't know what.
"Sometimes, being lost is better than being found by your nightmares." Ezra's eyes went downcast, and then locked onto Kanan's gaze.
When Ezra looked at him like this, it truly hurt that he could never have a normal, peaceful life. It occurred to him at these moments that he was a child, just barely fifteen. He had spent eight years without his parents, them being yanked from him much too early. It was like a lothcat being taken from its parents as a mewling kitten, with no one to guide it and take care of it. It was cruel. Ezra had given him a new impetus to keep fighting, to use his saber. When Ezra looked at him like this, he would destroy the world for him. It was dangerous and it went against his teachings. Then again, what was a code when you were dealing with emotions? Emotions couldn't be controlled. One could try to coach them, to keep them at bay for some time, but emotions were always there. Emotions weren't moral or immoral, they just were. Perhaps not being the perfect Jedi made him stronger. Perhaps even the mighty Jedi needed to assess their code. Rather than controlling emotions, maybe it was best to try to coach young ones to control their reactions. The code taught control; it was almost there. Still, some things that cannot be repressed were to be harnessed just for the sake of control. Perhaps this was why every Padawan had a touch with darkness. They were told to suppress things they couldn't, and they weren't always taught what to do if they failed.
Kanan couldn't teach Ezra the Jedi code perfectly, but perhaps he could teach him a few things that never were in the code. Perhaps he needed to do some digging into Ezra's past, the things he learned from his parents and on the streets, to find Ezra's future as a Jedi.
Perhaps through that digging, Kanan could find his future, and bring the future he wanted to his family. Kanan let out a small laugh, full of glee and hope.
"Don't get ahead of me just yet. I've got plenty of Jedi philosophy to teach you." Kanan wouldn't just be teaching him Jedi philosophy, no. He'd be teaching him his own lessons, and letting Ezra find some of his own to teach Kanan on the way. Kanan would watch Ezra grow, and he would grow with him, to become a better Jedi. To become a better person, a better father figure to Ezra. Ezra would do the same. They would work together.
"But do you understand it?" Some of Ezra's customary humor came back to him. Kanan couldn't help but smile. If he could joke, then he could be just fine.
"Following doesn't always mean understanding." Kanan returned some humor of his own. Oh, he didn't understand half of the things his mind wandered into thinking. He understood even less of the Jedi's teachings. Life was confusing, but he'd follow through its path just the same.