He Really Was Stupid

By lovefanfiction

Chapter Two: Remus

Rating: PG

Characters: Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and OC

Summary: Sirius and Remus broke up because of Sirius's roommate. Now it's up to that very roommate to put things right…even though he really detests Remus.

This chapter is dedicated to Lycanrai Moraine; thank you for showing interest in this story! Chapter two is up on the same day as chapter one because of you.

Remus was looking wane and ill, even more so than usual. In any other person, this inspired sympathy in Ken. Looking at Remus's pitiful state made him grit his teeth in irritation. "Morning," he hissed at the swaying wizard. It sounded even ruder than he had meant it, but damn it all, he wasn't going to wish him a good morning.

Remus blinked sleepily back. "Ken?"

"No, Lorcan d'Eath."

"I don't think he can go out in daylight-"

"Being a vampire and all, yeah, I know."

"Part vampire."

"Like I really care." Semantics, technicalities. Remus didn't know how to just get a conversation over with.

Remus stared at him calmly and levelly, obviously aware that he would care if it had been someone else correcting him. "Why don't you come in?" Remus requested in a mild tone, stepping back from the doorway.

"No, I don't think I will."

"All right."

Minutes passed as they stood there awkwardly. Ken shifted his weight back and forth between his feet, eyes roving about, looking anywhere but Remus. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Remus grip the doorway, still weak from the recent full moon.

"Look, I…" he rocked back on his heels, not entirely sure how to finish that sentence.

"Ken, why did you come here?"

"Because Sirius is driving me up the wall!" It wasn't what he meant to say, but it was more progress than he'd made since knocking on Remus's door.

"And you want my help managing him."

Ken blinked. Once, then twice. Remus seemed to be under the impression he wanted advice on Sirius-handling. "No! I mean yes… Sort of. I just wanted you to know that I'm leaving and that Sirius is absolutely miserable. And-" For some reason Ken couldn't see, the idiot was upset. He had gone horribly pale. Ken ground his teeth together in frustration. "What's with that look?"

As Remus dropped his gaze to his doorstop, it struck Ken what was wrong. He thought Ken was together with Sirius. Which made this whole thing so much easier. Or… so much more fun.

On the one hand, Ken could just tell him the truth, and be on his way. But, on the other- well, this was too good an opportunity to pass up.

He gave Remus a grimace that he hoped passed for a shy smile. "I don't know how you did it. He's... a handful."

Remus was staring at that battered wooden doorstop so hard his eyes were watering. Or he may have been crying, but that struck Ken as unlikely. The imbecile never cried; he just got paler when he was upset.

But the possibility that Remus might be crying was making Ken rather uncomfortable. "Right. I forgot you were useless anyway. Never mind, I'll just figure it out myself." And he fled.

Before he even reached the sidewalk, however, Remus spoke. "Try pranks."

"What?" Ken spun around on the spot, astonished that he was getting an answer.

The werewolf was gazing at him wretchedly, looking small and crushed. "Pranks. They always cheer him up, calm him down, get him to listen. Whichever." A wavering smile worked its way up Remus's face.

Ken was at a loss for words. That simpleton thought Sirius had left him for Ken, and here he was, trying to give Ken advice on how to make it work. He must really love Sirius to want him happy with whomever, the fool.

Ken nodded seriously and left without a word. Pranks, huh? Somehow, he didn't think Sirius would appreciate this particular prank.

To Be Continued

Lorcan d'eath, the 31st wizard of the month on J. K. Rowling's official site, is a part vampire and famous singer.