A/N: People told me to update, so I suppose I can do that. This chapter gets a lot of not nice stuff out of the way so that everyone can laugh later. Let me know if there is anything I can do to improve Tonks, this is actually my first time writing her and I might have missed something subtle.

Disclaimer: Don't ever take this too seriously, it will disappoint you

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Chapter 1: Lonely in Limbo

Harry Potter stared at the small boat in front of him with a familiar figure on it. He knew he probably should have been surprised to see Argus Filch hitting people with an oar on a boat leading to the depths of hell, but he just didn't have it in him.

"You miserable louts are lucky that most of ye are going to Limbo! If it was up to me you'd all rot in the ninth circle!"

End of the magical world or not, it seemed that some things simply never changed. Harry was surprised by how much comfort he found in Filch being his usual mean-spirited self. Harry took a deep breath and decided that there was no point idling on the shore and walked onto the boat.

Filch promptly smacked the back of Harry's head with his oar which caused Harry to stumble to his knees inside of the boat.

Harry rubbed the spot where the oar had hit and winced. "Hey! I was going into the boat already. You didn't have to do that."

Filch shrugged down at the kneeling boy. "I know, but it is fun."

That feeling of comfort had died faster than a mouthy muggle at Malfoy Manor.

The boat began to move and Harry braced himself against its side to avoid falling over. Harry glanced up at Filch and decided to try to pass the time with a bit of small talk. "So, how do you like your job?"

Filch gave Harry a look which made it clear how much he wanted to have a conversation with him. However, Filch had opened his mouth to respond when Harry's eyes rolled into the back of his head and he fainted. Filch looked at Harry's body on the floor of the boat and smiled broadly. "I like it better than I did a moment ago, Mr. Potter."

When Harry woke up he groggily rubbed his eyes and sat up unsteadily. He felt like he had just been hit with a very powerful stunner and couldn't quite shake off the aftereffects. When Harry managed to keep his eyes open for longer than a few moments he took in a sight that shocked him in how horrified he was just to look at it.

Harry Potter had always held the belief that his life had been depressing, but after he stepped foot into Limbo he believed he should have reserved judgment on that issue. Whatever he had once fantasized, imagined, or even feared his eternal resting place would be, it had been nothing like what was in front of him now. Harry's eyes swept over a bleak landscape filled with a very large number of people packed into it, which was no easy feat considering he couldn't see where this place ended. This place had to have won some sort of award for excellence in depressing people.

Harry felt uncertain about stepping further into this place. He had been told that this was the nice part of Hell, and he didn't want to imagine what the other parts entailed. Harry took another deep breath to calm him and decided to walk forward. On the first step Harry slid into a mud pit that went up to his waist.

Whoever had first uttered the phrase 'Gryffindors Forward' could go to hell so that Harry could punch them in the face personally.

Harry called out to a person near him who was on their knees in apparent prayer. Harry got no response from the man no matter how many times he shouted. Harry was convinced that he was going to spend eternity waist deep in mud when he saw a familiar face walking towards him.

"Wotcher, Harry James Potter."

Tonks was completely different than everyone else around them. She had a lovely smile on her face and she did not seem to be more worn down than the last time they had met. In fact, if anything she seemed to be in better spirits. Her light blue hair was worn in a simple ponytail and her skin was darker than he had ever seen it, almost as if she had dedicated herself to getting a nice tan. Even her breasts seemed perkier than before.

Harry's observance of that last point did not go unnoticed by Tonks.

"Oy, Potter, eyes on my lovely face."

Harry's eyes snapped to Tonks' face which now had a duck bill on it. She began to make quacking noises and Harry could not stop himself from bursting into a fit of laughter.

"It is good to see you, Tonks. Not to interrupt our reunion but could you possibly help me out of here?" Harry questioned.

Tonks replied but it came out as a quack. She realized this and rolled her eyes. A moment later a pair of luscious lips had replaced the duck bill and she gave a reply Harry could understand. "Yeah, I suppose I can be bothered to do that," she said cheekily.

She leaned over and grabbed Harry's outstretched hand and pulled him out of the muck.

Harry looked down and realized that none of the mud had stuck to his clothes. Actually, he wasn't even wearing his clothes. He was wearing a simple black robe that matched the one Tonks, and for that matter everyone else, was wearing.

"I don't remember having this on a minute ago..." Harry stated, his voice was filled with confusion.

"Right, that pit you fell into actually gets everyone. I have been here a very long time and I still don't know why they don't just get someone to hand you a bunch of clothes. God works in mysterious ways and all that jazz."

Harry nodded, he realized it wasn't exactly a pressing issue. "So... we ended up in hell." It was not Harry's smoothest icebreaker. That icebreaker had involved a butterbeer and a replica of a basilisk fang.

Tonks responded all the same "Yeah. It is a bit to take in at first, for sure. On the other hand being stuck in Limbo isn't so bad. After a while I realized I could still morph and had a good bit of fun transforming into other people and freaking them out. After a while though most everyone caught on so I kept myself busy by daydreaming about different paths my life could have taken. Different people I could have ended up with. Since I managed to weird everyone out so much I had plenty of space to role-play all sorts of kinky stuff. It is surprisingly easy to get lost in fantasies in such a dreary landscape."

Harry had realized halfway through Tonks' rambling that she was on the verge of tears and her hand was shaking violently. Harry was not the brightest of his generation, and that would have been considered a special kind of understatement when it came to women, but he had a feeling that he was talking with a very lonely woman right now. Tonks had always enjoyed the company of others and had always been great fun whenever Harry had the chance to talk with her. Being by yourself without your loved ones with the only thing to cling to being your own imagination was a cruelty befitting of their surroundings.

"Well, you've got me now! The hero always waits until the last moment to show up and save the day, right?" Harry gave her a lopsided grin.

Tonks laughed at the sight. Harry's attempt to pull off that type of face was adorable because of how serious he always looked. After a few moments her laughter turned to tears as she embraced Harry in a tight hug.

Harry was not used to receiving a lot of hugs, but nonetheless gently wrapped his arms around the distraught woman and patted her back.

This seemed to be what Tonks needed because after a moment she had calmed down enough to speak.

"I've missed everyone so much. Everyone else is gone, Harry. Either they aren't in Hell at all or they are in another circle of it. I've been by myself for so long, Harry. I don't want to be alone anymore, Harry. I don't want to be alone." Tonks renewed her sobbing into Harry's shoulder, unable to think about being alone without becoming distressed.

Harry was never very talented with words or women, but even he understood just how desperately the woman in front of him needed reassurance. With a certain redhead far from his mind, Harry spoke. "You don't ever have to be alone again, Tonks. I will never leave you. I promise." Harry tightened his hug on the woman as they stood in the middle of Limbo.

Unbeknownst to either of them they were being watched.