A/N - Hey guy's thanks so much to the reviewer I got and also those that Favorited or followed! Honestly that's what give me the motivation to keep writing this stuff so keep sending them my way because I need this story.
Kelly Severide liked to think he was strong. That he could get passed anything if he really tried but it had been seeing his best friend in a hospital bed, stuffed with tubes and looking utterly broken to make him realise that he had only ever survived at this before because Shay had been there with him. He had been through all the stages at her bed side once his shock had really warn off. For the first few days he had been hopeful. He had taken the fact nothing bad had happened as a good sign but he was ignoring the face nothing good had happened either. When her family had arrived he had gottten to the desperate stage, it had been six days and nothing. Severide hadn't left her side longer than to shower and put some decent clothes on yet neither she nor the doctors were giving him anything. Day seven and he was mad, he was furious. This wasn't fair. How out of everyone in the house was it Shay this had happened too. Pure, kind and loving Shay. His Shay.
He had left the hospital for the first time that day. Headed straight for the local boozer, bought as much as he could and had sat and drowned his sorrows. Dawson found him and together they had shouted at each other enough somehow they knew they weren't fighting for Shay alone any more. In fact he could remember every word they had spoken.
"Severide. She wouldn't want this." Dawson had pleaded with him trying the kind approach at first. "How are you going to feel if she wakes up whilst you are here smelling like a whiskey factory and not at her side or somewhere useful huh?"
"Just one more time I let her down I guess. I let her down every step of the way. The drugs, the baby…everything she went through with the suicide. I wasn't there for her enough and it should be me lying there like that not her." He spat in his drunkenness as he swirled his brown liquid around the pitcher before knocking it back and gesturing for another.
Dawson watched as the barman moved to poor him one and shook her head. "No! He's had enough and he's coming with me." She spoke loudly and tugged on Kelly's arm but he had shrugged her off. Then she had really let loose on him.
"You want to know about disappointment Kelly? You want to know about guilt and feeling blame! I made her switch sides with me. I was there. I should have been performing that procedure but I thought she needed to know it so I made her switch with me! So don't sit here drowning your sorrows. If anyone get's to do that it's me. Because it shouldn't be her there and it shouldn't be you either it should be me!"
"Oh it's all about you isn't it Dawson. But it would have been Casey in the same place as me if it was you in that hospital bed. He would just be stronger. He could help you more."
"Severide there is nothing you can do! Her brain swelling is reducing. The doctors said so this morning if you had bothered to stay around long enough. There isn't anything you, or me or hell the professional doctors can do at the minute so you need to get of your ass, go home and shower because you stink and then you need to meet me back at that hospital and sit by her side with me until she wake's up. Because she is going to wake up!" Looking at the paramedic Kelly could see this was her breaking point, if he didn't leave with her now he probably wouldn't be leaving till his liver packed up on him.
"I can't lose her Dawson. She is the only good thing I have left going in my life." He barely whispered as he moved from his bar stool to stand before her.
That had been 5 days ago now though and true to her word Dawson had been here at the hospital by his side since he had returned the smell of whiskey on slightly lingering, well that would be a day Shay could shout at him about later. The others had all gone back to work at 51. They had tried to get both him and Dawson to follow them, let the doctors here do their work but the silent gaze across the room as they locked eyes with each other had said they would hold out here together. It made it easier working as a team. They could slip out for food and coffee when needed. Take turns at small naps through the night so someone had always gone and eye on her. Between the two of them they were doing everything they could think off. Reading her favourite books, playing her favourite music even though it drove them insane. Speaking of past memories and future dreams they had promised each other. Hell Kelly had even begun promising if she made it through this they would go back to trying for a baby. He would get all the money they needed, he would even do plan B if they had to which had amused Dawson when he had told her of their awkward encounter in his office with fondness.
"Hey Severide I am just going to go and pee and get a coffee you want anything?" Dawson asked as she stood from her chair and stretched out her legs for the first time in hours.
"No I'm good thanks Dawson." He mumbled quietly but he lifted his head from the book he was reading to give her a small smile as she left the room. When she was gone he placed the book down and took her hand between his resting it on his cheek like he had the first time he had come into the room, which was only 12 days ago but it felt like a life time had passed to him. "You know now would be a really good time to wake up. I just don't think I can listen to one more of your albums no matter how much I love you and google say they could be useful." He laughed to himself and shook his head. God all he wanted was to hear a sarcastic response from her.
Her bandages around her head had been changed and he could tell her blonde hair was starting to grow back. God she was going to have a field day with that when she woke up. In fact he could imagine her shaving the whole lot of and starting from scratch, and he didn't doubt she would look as beautiful as she always had. He was watching her so hard he thought he was seeing things at first till her small jerk was followed by the smallest of gasps. She winced. He didn't know what it meant or if she was going to do it again and wake up but she had definitely winced.
"Hey doc!" Severide called rushing to the door looking for the older woman who was working Shay's case. "Hey come over here."
The doctors looked from her notes to see the handsome firefighter calling her name, at first she had suspected husband and at the very least fiancée. The words spoken by the young man to her friend were ones she had even see old couples struggle to confess to each other but not him. And the way he had sat by her side was truly touching. "What is it? Is Leslie okay?" She asked her voice laced with concern as she headed towards the room.
"I – I don't know I was watching her and she winced. Doc I am not making this up I saw it." Severide looked at her confused as to what was happening.
"Alright, we will run a few tests and try and understand the state she is at ok? If you could just step out of the room and give us ten minutes with her." Despite his instincts to stay and fight he nodded stepping back outside the clicking door. It was roughly five minutes later when he had just about started to twitch when Dawson rounded the corner carrying a coffee and gossip magazines he was most likely going to have to endure her reading to Shay later.
"Kelly… why… why aren't you in there is she okay? What's going on? Did she get worse?" Dawson flew the questions at him and he had to grab her and keep her steady to stop her from going into the room.
"Hey no calm down. She winced. I have no idea what that means or if it's a good thing. The doctor said they are going to do more tests and…" As he spoke the doctor returned from the room the smile on her lips small but present.
"It seems to be that Leslie is regaining some levels of consciousness. She is responding to pain which I know might sound like a bad thing but it's actually quite positive as it means that her brain is functioning at least on a very basic level. We can keep her pain levels stable with more drugs but at this rate we may be able to take her from the machines and let her breath on her own." The doctors smiled at the two youngsters before her.
Severide was beaming, of course he was trying to keep his hopes to a minimum but that was useless right now as he made his way into the room. He took in the sight of her again but this time is was with a renewed sense of hope. Shay was going to be okay.