The room went completely dark.

"Didi?" I asked in a week voice, that surprised me. Clearing my throat loudly I tried again, and it cracked again. Finally I gave up and just tried to wait for my eyes to adjust. A silhouette of Didi appeared, I strained my eyes to see her. She was motioning towards a direction. I followed her hand, but in my peripheral there was pure blackness where she stood and where she was pointing. When my eyes finally landed on the supposed spot she was pointing, I saw him. And it wasn't dark anymore.

Infact, it was quite light. They were in an oversized court room. Everything was the wrong size, and seemed bigger and wider than a normal court room should. Didi was sitting on the judges desk holding the tiny wooden mallet between her fingers. A strong scent of oranges blew through the room, and sharp pains cut through the back of my neck. I winced and grabbed my neck, noticing the scars on my wrist were bleeding.

"How curious?" I said touching the blood with my fingers. It was fresh, and wet. "I haven't made these since I was..."

"7? … 9?" Didi asked. "When you were dealing with the trials? Right? You were a very serious child, weren't you? You understood more than the other kids, and cared less of games. You were forced to grow up." Didi echoed softly through the room. My chest ached with each word.

"Shut up." I spit back acid.

"Face it. Or it will get worse." and with her words it did. It started with my older sister sitting up near the judge's seat. Her black hair falling infront of her face, and her tears falling rapidly on her dress. She sobbed silently, shoulders falling and rising and her face was scrunched in agony.

Slowly as I turned around the room people started appearing. The jury, one by one. First the old woman sitting closest to the judges seat, than the white haired cowboy sitting farthest. Then the ones without a face in nice clothes filled in the middle rows. The judge, large and wrinkled sat high in his chair. Then the music begun to play.

"I don't remember this during the actual trial? Why is it so loud?" I asked Didi. She smiled.

"The night before, remember, in the motel? You had went to bed, with music in your ears. You couldn't hear anything else, and everyone left you alone for the night." Didi said, as if she had been there too. I begun to recall the music that was playing.

"Papa Roach..." I said quietly. It's strange to hear rock like that in a court room. It's strange to hear music at all.

Then the audience begun to fill in. I saw my mother first. Her long straight brunette hair pulled back into a braid that curled around her shoulder. Her makeup was running, and half her face was covered by her beautiful pale hands. A gold ring flashed, with a sapphire stone in the center. She sat alone.

My father sat two seats behind her his head down, he was shaking. His wife touched his back softly cooing. My father had a suit on, his jacket was off though, and his black curly hair was gelled just barely. His wife wore a blue dress her blond ringlets of hair rested perfectly behind her ears.

And then the other side begun to appear. Police, and guards, and the man with green eyes. The man with green eyes sat in black and white stripes on a metal silver chair. His face was long, and unshaved. He had horrible black bags under his eyes, and his lips were cracked.

"Him... He... No."

"Shhh, look at him, you know he's there. Look at him." Didi said softly

"No!" I screamed and my face fell into my hands while I collapsed onto the bash carpet. I was wearing a black and white dress, with leggings, and a pink bow. I could only cry harder.

"Stop!" I screamed. And then the huge wooden doors opened, and a younger version of me came out. She had long hair, and wore the black and white dress I had on. Her face was wide, and her eyes were closed. A tear rolled down her cheek as she passed the man with green eyes. I closed my eyes to her. I closed my eyes to all of it. I couldn't watch myself testify. I couldn't relive any of it. Not again.

Then the music faded, and Didi sat next to me.

"Violet, open your eyes." Didi whispered to me, while she touched my back. I listened, and my eyes opened. I was sitting in a brown room, and there was an oversized bed that looked so soft. A tv sat on a dresser and it stood like a skyscraper over us.

"Daddy, do you have to leave?" My soft voice echoed into the room. I looked to find a stark naked child version of me standing in the center of the floor. My face scrunched as I saw the white-clear liquid spread over my chin and chest. The younger version of me took no notice to the annoying dried cum spots.

"Yes. But I have something for you." The green eyed man said to me. I looked genuinely surprised and happy. He took a knee infront of my tiny naked body. My eyes closed, I couldn't see this the memories.

"I wore it when I was a child" The green eyed mans voice said softly. I opened my eyes to see him put a cross around my neck. The younger me's hand flew straight up to the cross to look at it. "Don't lose it."

"I promise I won't." I said hugging the green eyed man.

"It's amazing that was actually a bonding moment. God what a disgrace." I spit at the bedroom carpet. "My life doesn't evolve around just him you know." I said towards Didi.

"You're right." She smiled.

And suddenly we were in the court yard of my middle school. My hair was short, I wore all black, and I stared at people in disgust.

"This was after the green eyed man was put away forever. I think you won't like the change as much." Didi said, taking a seat on a stone bench. The school bell had just rung, and my younger self was sitting on a stone bench in the corner. I walked closer to her, as more children (that happened to be my size) filled the court yard. Around her neck was a broken cross, and after she had thrown her huge back pack over her shoulder she started scratching her leg. On her arm were burn marks, that weren't bad. But she wouldn't stop scratching her leg. Then I remembered why the younger me was scratching.

"Hey. Hey! Stop, or you'll-..." I said trying to make her hear me. But then her face showed a cutting pain, and her pant leg wear she was scratching at, soaked and begun to drip a black- red liquid. Her hand grabbed at her leg.

"The scrapes and the cuts, you dumb ass." I said quietly. Her hand became red. Quickly she took her jacket off and wrapped it around herself. She stood up, and rushed through the crowd. Didi and I followed her.

Once she was off of the school ground her breath got louder, and an inhaler was pulled out of her back pack. She huffed it loudly, twice. Then went to return it to that small front pocket of her backpack, but something stopped her. A tan hand came out of no where grabbing her wrist. It was Christian, The Hispanic boy that lived next to her. Her squeezed her wrist until her hand was forced open, dropping her inhaler. She whined quietly with pain. Then a pale boy with bruises on his arms came up from behind christian. He picked up the inhaler, and brushed the dirt off.

"Skyler, and Christian. Damnit, leave her alone." I said wishing they could hear me.

Skyler fiddled with the inhaler and kept walking past them. Christian laughed and followed Skyler. Dropping Violet's wrist. She grabbed her arms close to her body at first. A purple mark showed where Christian had grabbed her. She slowly started following the boys.

"I-... I need that." She said meekly.

"Oh, what was that?" Skyler asked, throwing the inhaler way up into the air than catching it again. Christian giggled and led them through the desert towards the park near the house.

"W-where are you guys going?" She asked.

"Some where you'll like. It has no people, and it's very quiet."
"You'd like that, won't you freak. Seclusion. It's your only friend." Skyler made a hearty laugh, but his words rang through Violet's soul.

"Please. I just want my inhaler." Violet asked.

"You'll get it back... maybe." Christian said.

"The park is always empty, and Christian and Skyler were always such perverts. Are they going to?..." I asked Didi. She shrugged.

"It's your memories." She said.

"Then why can't I remember them?"

"Skyler, go check the bathroom. I'll get her clothes." Christian said.

"But I wanted to get her clothes." Skyler said then ran off to the bathroom. Christian grabbed Violet's arm roughly. Violet winced, but stayed silent.

"Drop the back pack." Christian ordered. Violet did, she didn't mind, it was heavy and it was easier to run with out it. Christian grabbed at her hoodie around her waste, but Violet quickly dodged, and sucker punched his stomach. But she hadn't hit any organs, which surprised her. Only a wall. Christian's eyes still bulged out slightly, but he retaliated. He grabbed her shirt and tugged hard, Making her fall towards him. She heard the fabric rip. He grabbed her and dragged her towards the bathroom.

"Let me go. Please, Ill do anything, just let me go." Violet was quiet and tears flooded her face.

"What's that, can't hear you." Christian said opening the door to the bathroom. Violet stopped breathing in fear. Christian tossed her into the bathroom, closing the door behind him and blocking it. He expected her to make another run for it. But she just laid there.

When he had thrown her in, she was so dizzy with fear and loss of breath that she didn't catch herself from hitting the floor, and her head had slammed into the floor tiles. She laid practically lifeless on the dirty ground.

"Could that be why I don't remember?" I asked in disgust. Then everything went black.

"Wait?! But what happened?!" I yelled. At the darkness. Didi appeared next to me.

"They took off your shirt, and the hoodie around your waist, but when they saw the blood from your self harm they though you were on your period and became grossed out. They never raped you.

"Little boys." I said to myself. Then the darkness disappeared again. I was still in the bathroom. I saw Violet was up. She was splashing water on her face, and stared for a few minutes at herself in the mirror. Then gathered her stuff and left the park. The blood on her pants was dry. She walked home, in silence.

Once she was finally home, She went into her room and turned on the Killers CD closing the door soflty.

"Save some face, you know you've only got one. Change your ways, while your young." Violet sang with the CD. "Boy one day you'll be a man." She hummed the tune, as she took off her pants. "Smile like you mean it." She went into her bathroom and turned on the sink putting the pants under the hot water. She couldn't really hear the music anymore. She took off the rest of her clothes and turned on the shower. Turning the sink off, She sat on the toilet seat and touched her self inflicted wounds on her thighs. She stepped into the shower and begun to wash off the disgusting scent of boy, and bathroom floor. Her legs stung as the water shot at it.

"Well... my life wasn't too bad. Just a little crazy." I said to Didi. Didi didn't respond.