I don't understand my feelings

Thank you so much for the reviews! I'm glad you liked my idea of the story! ^^

This is my first Fanfic about Creek and Kyman (south park, for everyone who doesn't know, lol), but I hope that you'll like it anyway, hehe! :3

I don't know if this'll be more Creek or more Kyman (i think this time more creek...), cause I really like them both and am a crazy fangirl, but we'll see! ;)

And my english isn't really the best, but I hope you understand what I mean in the story, haha :D

This is the first chapter of the story, i hope you like it ;)

Okay, that's it I think...well bye then and have fun while reading! ^^

I DON'T OWN SOUTH PARK OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS AND EVERYTHING ELSE THAT IS MENTIONED IN THIS FANFIC! AND THIS IS BOYXBOY, IF YOU DON'T LIKE YAOI THEN YOU SHOULDN'T KEEP ON READING! IF YOU LIKE IT, THEN I HOPE YOU'LL HAVE FUN READING IT! :3

Chapter 1

Craig

It was time for lunchbreak at the highschool of South Park. The students that watched the clock above the black board, were starving and nobody listened to the babbling of Mr. Garrisons biology class. There were only two minutes left, but it was like the time was standing still. Someone was tipping his fingertipps nervously on the table and some other tried to put his books silently in his backpack, but that didn't really worked out well. The raven-haired boy was playing with his hat he had since kindergarten and wasn't paying attention to all the different noises in his classroom. He just woked up from his little nap and didn't really get why everyone was so squirrelly. He couldn't sleep last night and he nearly missed the schoolbus this morning. The whole night he thought about Tweek, why he wasn't talking to him normally, why he said it was "strange" being with him and why he was acting all hurt and shit.

God damn, how annoying.

His gaze was looking at a dark green shirt and the twitching blond head that were shaking slightly. His hair was a mess, it was all sticking out in different directions and the hands that were grabbing his strands were't any help at all. As always he had a cup of coffee on his table and Craig was sure that he drank it all up at first period. He was writing something in his notebook, he wasn't quite sure if he was copying what was written on the board or some bullshit that was swirling in his god damn psychotic head. Craig could see that Tweek was moving his mouth and closing his eyes from time to time. What the hell was he writing, some kind of poem or song or shit like that?

Somehow he managed to stare at his friend for the last two minutes of biology class, because he jumped when the bell rang and all students rushed out of class. He sighted and swung his bag over his large shoulder. Craig was kind of tall, but he wasn't muscular like Stan or the other football members, he was just tall. He took his blue jacket and waited at the door. Tweek was packing his books in his bag too, but in contrast to all the other students, he had EVERY schoolbook with him. They had lockers, so he didn't understand why he declined to put them there. Well, that wasn't true, he knew why, the bundle of nerves was afraid that someone might steel his precious books from his locker, so he preferred to drag them with him. He was such an idiot sometimes...

"Finished?" his dark monotone voice let Tweek twitch and he looked up with his green eyes that had the same colour as his shirt. His one eye twitching though.

"Y-yes...well, no! B-but you can go if you want to, it's not a problem, I can-GAH-go to the cafeteria by myself! Nngh!" Craig was feeling something burn inside of him. What the fuck?! Tweek was always running after him like a little baby and never wanted to go anywhere alone-not even to the toilet! Why was he avoiding him again?

"I don't think you can do that." The blond boy stared at him angrily. "GAH! Why that? I'm not a little kid anymore!" Finally he was done packing his things, but he didn't move from his place. "You always walk with me to-well everywhere! It was always like that." they stared into each others eyes. Tweek tried to hold his glare, but Craig knew that he couldn't compete with his piercingly blue eyes. Like he thought, his friend looked away and stared at the brown floor. Maybe he should't have said that.

"M-Maybe...I should try to be more independent! Nngh!" Craigs eyes widened.

Tweek was distancing himself from him.

"Well, whatever." he looked once again at his friend and waited a bit, but then turned around leaving the room. He left Tweek alone with his bag and his empty cup of coffee. Stupid jerk, he should see how to manage everything without him, asshole!

He slacked his pace and tried to oppress the upcoming anger. What was happening with their relationship? They were best friends... he thought. Craig wanted to ask him why he was acting so weird, but now he was pissed. Pissed at Tweek and pissed at himself, because his damn feelings were driving him crazy! He never was so flustered around the other teen-let alone blush like a idiot everytime he touches him! Craig wasn't good with feelings and emotions, and everyone knew it, but he wanted to know what was happening inside him. Maybe he should talk to someone, but to whom?

Deep in his thoughts he arrived at the cafeteria and steered to their usual table. Clyde, Token, Butters, Kenny and Kyle were sitting there and chatting about random stuff.

"Hello Craig!" Butters noticed him at first and waved like a little kid. His shiny hair was now longer and filling his whole head. Craig nodded to him and the others who were now looking at the newcomer. "Hey there, dude! Where did you left your sweet little psycho?" Kenny grinned and sipped his applejuice. As always he was wearing his dirty orange parker and a brown pants. But since they started highschool he showed his face to everyone, and man, that was the best thing he ever did. The girls were all into him and even the boys wouldn't mind getting more intimate with him. He was gorgeous and a whore, so his popularity shot up from "dirty poor kid" to "dirty poor HOT teen". He knew how to handle the people surrounding him and he learned how to manipulate them.

Fuck yes, he knew how to do that!

"He is independent now." Craig sat down beside Clyde and took out his lunch. An apple, one Snickers and two breads with cheese. The boys looked at him with raised brows. "What do you mean, independent?" Clyde tried to read his eyes, but he wasn't looking at him. "How should I know." he took a bite of is bread. Token and Clyde exchanged glances. They knew something was wrong and that Craig didn't want to talk about it. Not now. Kenny looked at the scene and made a face like he understood the situation. "Hey Craig, you know what happend earlier to Kyle?" now even the redhead looked up and glared at his friend. "Don't Kenny!" Craig could sense what had happend this morning.

"Soo, Kyle got some roses from an unknown person, and it was a MISTER! Isn't that a funny thing? Hahaha!" Kyle blushed and tried to kick his friend, but he dodged away. "That's not funny Kenny!"

"Oh yes it IS, haha!" Clyde was the only one who laught with him, Token rolled his eyes and smiled while Butters and Craig just sat there and watched the scene. "...it was only a joke..." Kyle muttered more to himself than to his friends.

"Hey, nerds!" The big boned teen standing at the table interjected the giggling and Butters slid from his place, to make room for the newcomer. "Hello Eric, here sit down!". He sat down and smirked at Criag.

"Hey Tucker, know what happend to Kahl this morning?" The tall boy didn't look up and just listened to the annoying story the other boy was going to tell.

"God dammit Cartman, shut up!", Kyle glared at him.

"Oh come on, Kahl! You want to tell everybody of your new lover, don't you?", he took a bite of his peanutbutter bread. The ginger looked at him like he wanted to grab his fat head and smash it on the table. "Fuck you fatass!"

"Ay, I'm not fat, you jew!"

"Don't call me jew, you fat asshole!"

"Fine, kike!"

"ARGH!"

"Guys come on, just eat your foot already! You seem like an old married couple, man!" That got Kenny one death glare and one slightly blushing Cartman. Craig wasn't the only one who noticed it, Kennys eyes flashed up at the reaction. "Don't look at me like that, it was only a joke! Hahaha!"

"Tse...Kenny sometimes I really hate you..." the blond boy laught at Kyles comment and the tension dissolved. The conversations that followed were mostly about boobs and girls. Kenny was in his element and didn't intend of stopping to talk about the nights with Bebe which seemed to interest Clyde a bit too much. Even Token was interested in his storys and added his so beloved girlfriend Nichole to the chat. Butters sat there and smiled like an imbecile, Craig was sure that he didn't even know the difference between men and women let alone how close they could become. Kyle and Eric were eating and sometimes laughing about Kennys stupid movements when he tried to explain how he tried to open Bebes bra. Everyone was somehow having a good time and he was glad about it, but he couldn't stop himself to think about his little psychotic friend. Where the hell was he anyway?

He said he wanted to come to the cafeteria by himself, so why wasn't he here?

He should try to find him, maybe he was getting a nervous breakdown somewhere...

Butters looked at him as he stood up, swung his bag on his shoulder and rested his hand in his pocket. "Where are you going Craig? Aren't you hungry anymore?"

"I'm going to class. Don't have the homework.", with that he ignored the comments of the others and left the full cafeteria. Now he had to find the little blond psycho.

Five minutes were left until the break ended. Craig had looked everywhere Tweek would be when he wasn't around. But he couldn't find his little friend. Where was he? Did he go home?

But why should he do that, he looked pretty normal to him this morning...well, as normal as he was. Maybe he wasn't here right now, but Tweek wouldn't miss a class. He was too afraid of detention.

"Whatever." Craig gave up, he didn't want to waste his break to find him. That was a bit too late though. He was in the corridor and decided to go to the Toilet before entering his class.

"Hey Craig, w-where are you going?" He turned around and saw Jimmy standing at his locker. He was a bit confused that he was talking to him. "Don't know, the toilet." The disabled kid came closer to the tall teen. "Maybe y-y-you should't go in there, I heard interesting noises from i-i-i-inside!"

"What interesting noises?"

"Y-you know what I mean!"

"No I don't."

He could guess what he meant.

"There is some g-g-g-girl inside, and you wouldn't like to see h-h-her!"

Was Ruby inside?

"Who is there?"

"See it for yourself, I don't want to tell y-y-you!" With that he turned around and left a confused Craig behind.

What was that?

Maybe he should just go to class and sleep, but somehow he was a little nervous about that...thing Jimmy told him. Craig began slowly to walk to the toilet, but stopped in front of the door. He was a direct and emotionless asshole, so it wouldn't be a surprise if he disturbed the two lovebirds, whoever they were. He wrinkled his nose and pushed the doorknob down. Maybe it would have been better if he hadn't come here. He stood in the white bathroom and his eyes widened.

The redhaired girl and the blond boy were standing at the basin and stopped their action. Craig could't belief his eyes.

"Craig? What are you doing here?!" Red stood with her hands on her hips in the middle of the room and looked as if nothing happend. But Craig couldn't stop staring at the other person in the room. His anger was getting unbearable. The blond boy was shaking and staring at him with the same shocked expression.

"What are you doing?" He repeated Reds earlier question, but he wasn't talking to her. Tweek started twitching so nervousely that he held himself up at the basin.

"What are YOU doing here?" Red tried again.

"Tweek...why?"

"I-I-GAH- it's not what you-GAH WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE!" Reds confused look didn't change the way Craig was feeling.

Angry.

Disappointed.

Hurt.

"What the fuck are you doing with Red, Tweek?!" He couldn't calm himself down and he didn't care that the girl he had a one night stand with, was watching the whole scene. "Why didn't you tell me?! It's that why you're fucking avoiding me?!"

"N-no, Craig-GAH- it's not that, I only wanted to- GOD DAMN FUCK IT'S SO DIFFICULT TO EXPLAIN!"

He twitched and looked like he was about to cry. But Craigs mind was blank and he didn't give a fuck about the whole 'feelings'-thing.

"Whatever Tweek, I'm not with her anyways, do what the fuck you want."

It wasn't like that, he wanted to take him with him.

Red was watching the whole scene and was a bit confused about Craigs emotionless talk.

"N-no wait C-Craig!" Tweek let go of the basin, but he didn't get far. The tall boy gave him such an angry and hurt lool that he froze. The bathroom was filled with unspoken emotions amd nobody was talking. Craig looked a moment at Red who wasn't paying attention at him and only stared at the ground. Then he turned around and closed the door, leaving his best friend and his one night stand behind.

That was one of the most fucked up things that ever happend to him.

And the one that ripped his heart out of his chest.

This whole week he didn't even know why he was so hurt, but now he knew he was in love.

He was in pain because he was in love.

In love with his best friend.

With Tweek.

Hope you liked the first chapter, I don´t know how long it will take to upload the next, but I´m working on it! ;)

Please review, it helps to make the story better, hehe! ;D

Bye~