Disclaimer: Fushigi Yuugi and characters belong to Watase Yuu and others. Anything that is not FY- related is original, except for 'Yuuan.' It's a real restaurant in Tokyo, which I DON'T own. I'm using it just for the sake of fiction.
Spoilers: TV series and Seiran Den.
Timeline: A year after the TV series, so kindly forget the OVAs. ^_^
Note: Italics within ~*~ indicate the narrator's thoughts. Elsewhere, it refers to the direct thoughts of a character.
This story is in no way connected to my other fic 'The Second Coming.' I'm using only my original characters here.
Thank you all very much for reading the prologue!
Beta-read by the wonderful, wonderful KittyLynne who has helped immensely in bringing this fic to such a good form!
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A Touch of Blue A tale of the Seiryuu SeishiChapter I : Wish, come true
***************
6 AM.
A loud, persistent noise vibrated harshly through Yui's ears, partially rousing her from the depths of Morpheus' realm. In an almost simultaneous movement, her hand shot out to attack the alarm, while she burrowed deeper into the bed sheets. Unfortunately, the noise persisted as it issued not from the alarm, but from the telephone at her bedside. She tried to ignore it, her sleep-induced logic dictating, if I ignore it, it will go away.
The phone kept ringing.
After some lethargic undulations beneath the sheets, Yui managed to open a bleary eye so she could locate the phone and see the caller's number that was blinking on its display. In a flash, she snatched it up, as all traces of sleep fled from her mind. Tetsuya's calling at SIX in the morning?
"Tetsuya!" She gasped breathlessly. "What's wrong?"
"Well, good morning to you too!"
"Tetsuya! Don't kid around. Are you all right? What happened?"
"I'm fine! Everything's fine! Calm down… I just wanted to talk."
Sitting cross-legged on the bed, Yui ran a hand through her tangled length of hair. Pale light from the breaking dawn filtered in through the blinds, casting bars of light and shadow on her pensive face. A careless patch of sunlight fell on the framed photograph on her bedside table and Yui stared at the frozen, smiling figures absently, not seeing anything but the fine film of dust that covered the glass. I must really clean off that picture one of these days!
Aloud she said, "Umm… so what should we talk about at six in the morning?"
"Sorry, but I thought I'd catch you early, before you leave for… classes." Something in Tetsuya's tone as he mentioned the word 'classes' gave Yui a twinge of guilt.
"Today's Sunday, and I'm free the whole day. It's just weekdays that I'm busy with classes and-"
"Too busy to even call, Yui?"
Yui shifted uncomfortably. "Exactly what are you trying to say, Tetsuya?"
An exasperated sigh echoed through the phone, then the hard edge in Tetsuya's voice softened to a coaxing tone. "It's been almost a week since we really saw each other, Yui-chan. You never return my calls and even if we do meet, it's just hi-'bye stuff. I just want to know what's going on."
"Nothing's going on. Classes are pretty intense these days and … I'm trying to do well in school." Yui lied uneasily, while the real reasons for her avoiding not only Tetsuya, but also most of her friends and family, ran through her mind; reasons that had remained inside her for an entire year, slowly eating away at her, much as she tried not to think of them.
Even if I do tell you, Tetsuya, you wouldn't understand, because I can't figure it out myself. I don't understand why after all this time, after all that happened there… why I miss them. That's my problem. I can't look at you and the others in the face and act like everything's fine with me, because it's not.
I miss my seishi.
"Don't give me that! I know how tough school must be, but Yui, not even a single call for a week? I can't help feeling that you're trying to avoid me."
I can't help thinking about what happened to them. Still can't help thinking and wishing that things had been different… but it's too late for that. Now, after they're all dead, it's too late. It's not like we'd be given a second chance or anything. No…no. If we were, we'd probably mess that up too. Seiryu just made a mistake, choosing me. I was a screwed-up miko, leading a perverted group of seishi, who tried to summon a heartless god for all the wrong reasons.
It was all a mistake.
"Yui? Yui, are you still there?"
"Wha- oh, Tetsuya. What were you saying?"
Tetsuya sighed harder, a sigh of defeat. "Never mind. How about lunch today? I'll pick you at noon."
"Well, I-"
"No buts! We've got to talk, and you've got to take a break. You're studying too hard!"
"If you'd let me speak, I was going to say lunch would be lovely."
"Oh. See you at around twelve then. 'Bye and love ya!" There was an audible 'click' as the line went dead.
"Love you too."
Yui sat unmoving, still clutching the dead phone tight in her hands as if she expected to hear something more. After a slow minute, she replaced it. Through the closed door, she heard her mother leave the apartment, heading for work even on a Sunday morning. It was half-past six.
Rising from the bed, she went to her table and stood watching the photograph blankly, trying to remember when it was taken. She looked so happy…. what a contradiction, she thought for a moment, then turned that thought away.
Yui wiped the glass surface clean.
**********
~*~ Have you forgotten me? Your faithful narrator still flits around, an unobserved spectator who has a good idea of the events yet to come.
You might care to ask me, if this is the tale of seishi, why do I bother with the miko? Ah, but no tale of seishi is complete without the miko. She is the sole reason why a seishi is born, and it is she who shapes their destiny, from birth till the very end. To fully understand a warrior's life, we must first know the priestess; hence my preoccupation with the Seiryu no Miko.
However, I must be frank. I care for only one of the Seiryu seishi, not the whole of them, and it is for his sake that I am here at all. Nakago is now in Tokyo and though I am consumed with longing and curiosity to see him and to find out what he's become, I cannot do that yet. There is another person whom I must introduce to you first.
With the loss of the physical body, time loses its tyrannical hold. There is no past for me and neither is there a future… I exist in a limitless 'present.' To the Seiryu no Miko, time is just about six in the morning. But as I move from the window where I have been sitting watching over her, surprise, surprise, the sun is now almost overhead and Yui is getting hurriedly dressed, preparing to meet Tetsuya. The missing intermediate time has just blurred away.
The clock strikes half-past eleven, it's tones counting the irrevocable passage of mortal time.
I float out lazily on an obliging breeze and soon find myself before my next destination. ~*~
***
The sky was a fair, benevolent blue with a few scattered, wind-swept clouds that only hinted of possible rain; there was no sign yet of the sweltering summer heat that had plagued Tokyo the past week. Being a Sunday morning, there was less traffic in the highways and the suburban streets lay quiet in the warm July sunshine, where a random car whizzed by, briefly interrupting the silence. It was the perfect prelude to a pleasant day, the balmy air filled with pleasurable expectations for the usual summer festivities.
Nevertheless, nature gave no sign of the impending wondrous events set in motion by Seiryu himself since his meeting with Taiits-kun.
In one middle-class suburban street, in the driveway of a neat, two-storied house bordered by flowering shrubs, a young, red-haired man stood washing his car. His movements were careful, the strokes he used upon it appearing to be more like a loving massage than a scrub, and leaving no doubt in an onlooker's mind as to the ownership of the car. The vehicle was a second-hand commodity of an unremarkable make, gray in color and needing an new coat of paint. But to Reizo Nakamura, it symbolized his freedom, his independence and his capacity to stand on his own. Second-hand? To him, it was invaluable, meriting the tenderest of care.
***
~*~ However interesting Reizo might be, he is not connected to the universe of the four gods. That person is inside the house and for a moment I almost see bolts of lightning snaking from the heavens, a sign of the awesome power of Seiryu, although the sky shines a placid blue and white clouds waft by on a slight breeze. I keep forgetting that she hasn't regained her memories yet… ~*~
***
With a flourish of satisfaction, Reizo threw the rag into the car through the open back window, then walked quickly up the driveway and opened the front door of his home. He was more than ready for a relaxing breakfast in front of the TV after a job well done- a modest reward which unfortunately was not meant to be.
"Reizo, I need the car this morning," declared his elder sister Ayame with consummate nonchalance.
Visions of his beloved car being towed to the mechanic danced before Reizo's eyes, as Ayame was not, in his expert opinion, a competent driver. By all kami alive, Reizo swore, he wasn't going to let her have his car, his sole valuable, not after he had scrubbed it cleeeean, long in the better part of a Sunday morning!
"Can't you take the bus? There's a reason public transport exists, you know."
"Now why would I need public transport when my dear brother is dying to give me his car, after all the money I gave him to buy it? Keys please." While Reizo considered the car to be solely his from engine to spare wheel, bought by his own money, the fact that most of his money had come from Ayame often conveniently slipped his mind. Still, that doesn't change the fact that she sucks as a driver! Reizo grumbled to himself.
"How about Mom's car?" he asked hopefully.
"She's working today, just as I am. C'mon, Reizo, I don't have all day! So hurry up, give me the keys."
"Ayame, you work in a restaurant. You can take the bus."
"Oh excuse me, but it was the restaurant job that helped pay for that car! And don't forget, we agreed to share it between us. If you're not giving me the car, I'll just ask Eisen to give me a lift." She gave him a decidedly wicked wink.
Reizo groaned. Eisen was Ayame's boyfriend, and a sore subject between brother and sister. Ayame thought Eisen was adorable. Reizo most definitely did not, for a variety of reasons which only he knew best with the cunning faculty of astute perception given to all brothers. This was just a way of making him hand over the keys, Reizo knew. Leave it to Ayame to capitalize over his dislike for that creep she dated. But then, the restaurant was quite far off, almost at the other end of the city.
"That's right, just blackmail me with that jerk! Oh here- take them!" Reizo tossed the shiny bunch at her with bad grace. There goes my big date tonight…"Since it's useless to reason with you, I'll pass over that nasty remark now. But Reizo, I don't see why you're so troubled. You can have the car by six o'clock. So if you've got a date, don't worry."
"It's not that…I uh- well-" Reizo fumbled, caught off-balance by his sister's correct guess, then recovered. "Just drive carefully, okay? Don't you DARE get it dirty like last time and don't try putting makeup or anything stupid when driving-"
"Look, I'm the elder sister here. Don't lecture me on what to do."
"I wouldn't if you could drive decently. Last week the breaks were jammed and-"
"But that wasn't my fault!"
"How come that never happens when I take the car? Then before-"
"Ja ne!"
Ayame hurried outside, slipped inside the much-argued-about, squeaky-clean car and quickly eased it onto the road. Really, Reizo can be difficult when it comes to this piece of junk, she mused. And if he's is so dead set against Eisen, I wish he'd at least let me know why, instead of calling Eisen-san names! He is a good man… In the midst of musing over her boyfriend, she suddenly caught sight of herself in the rear-view mirror.
"Oh no, I've forgotten my blush!" Ayame wailed aloud in distress. Oh dear. Too late now, since she was on the highway. Adjusting the mirror back to its proper position and turning on the stereo, Ayame pushed perceptive brothers, 'good' boyfriends, and her too-pale cheeks to the back of her mind, as she concentrated on driving with, what was for her, the utmost of care.
***
~*~ While Ayame is occupied with traffic, let us get better acquainted with her, since she plays an important role in this story.
Ayame Kaen Nakamura is twenty years of age, comes from a solid middle-class family and after completing an unremarkable education, works in a restaurant located in a classy section of Tokyo.
Apart from the surprisingly familiar name 'Kaen,' the rest is unknown to you. Ayame Nakamura seems a stranger to us. But if we look closer, Ayame appears a little more familiar, reminding us of someone whom we know. With her deep burgundy hair, tip-tilted greenish gray eyes set in a sweet, heart-shaped face and those delicate features, in form we know her quite well indeed, even if there is no character 'tassel' glowing blue on her thigh.
However, the resemblance ends there. The once flowing tumult of silky hair is now cut short to a very practical, perky, shoulder length. A confident, amiable expression sits on her face, a far cry from the silent, brooding woman of before. As Ayame Kaen listens to karaoke music and sings along with Megumi Hayashibara on the stereo, it's a little hard to place the image of Seiryu no Shichi seishi Soi beside her and appreciate the similarity instantly.
Contrary to the popular laws of reincarnation, Kaen- for convenience's sake I revert to her middle name- entertains no strange and unaccountable memories, has had no out-of-place nightmares hinting of a traumatized past nor any thoughts of death in any circumstances. She is quite comfortable in the presence of dragons (images, of course) and foreign, blonde men.
If you should whisper in her ear that, in a previous life she had been a warrior for a Dragon god and had died defending a deep but unrequited love, Kaen would scoff at the unearthly idea. 'A warrior? Me? Suuure, and I was the Dragon's queen,' would be the sarcastic reply. 'Throw my life away for some loser, for one who had simply ignored me? Ha ha, yeah, right!'
Truth be told, it does seem Kaen shares very little in common with Soi, apart from her form and love of makeup. But certain things in a soul never pass away, even if it dies and is born again. It only needs a touch in the right direction to emerge. One's entire life is engraved in the soul. It is not something that can be easily forgotten… especially when it involves memories of love unreturned, as we will find out in good time. ~*~
***
An uneventful half-hour drive brought Kaen near to her workplace. Pulling into a parking area, she switched off the engine and hurriedly stepped out of the car, leaving the keys behind. Kaen worked as a waitress in a restaurant called 'Yuuan,' a modern and sophisticated dining area that had a strict code of conduct for employees that did not tolerate tardiness. As the clock struck twelve, she knew she was late by an hour and hastened inside the eatery through the back entrance, hoping to slip in without attracting the notice of her superior.
"Kaen-chan! You made it in time- I almost thought you won't show up," gushed a grinning co-worker. Kaen stared at the beaming woman suspiciously, not used to such blatant signs of adoration.
"What do you want?" she asked bluntly, to the other woman's discomfiture. Kaen was never one for beating around any bush.
"Oh, nothing, nothing. Well…I was just wondering if, since you're a liiitle bit late, you'd be so kind to take my shift later."
Kaen was not happy. Having the second shift too meant she was stuck there till ten. Jeez, this is a part-time job and I'm ALWAYS here. Seems like I'll be a waitress for life! She caught the glint in the other woman's eye and understood the unspoken threat- 'take my shift or face the consequences for my reporting that you're coming in late the third time this week!'
Kaen sighed. Faulty time management can get one into such difficulties. With a brother who seldom cut her a break and an adorable, but too-intense boyfriend, it was no wonder she often ended up with other people taking advantage of her like this. And I also really need this job… no use whining, I have to pay my dues. "Fine, I'll stay."
"K-chan, you're the best! I'll leave now.. and oh, there's a couple at table # 9. You'd better get going."
Guess what goes around, comes around. I got smart with Reizo and now look at me!
"Yeah."
Kaen peeked round to see table # 9 where a pretty blond girl and a good looking guy wearing sunglasses indoors were seated, and deep in conversation. She smoothed down her uniform and hoped she looked presentable even without rouge. Assuming her best professional, I'm-here-to-serve-you smile, Kaen took two of the menu cards kept at the back and walked up to table # 9.
***
~*~ I rub my hands with what might have been expectant pleasure as Kaen draws near to table # 9, where quite naturally, Yui and Tetsuya are seated. The power of a god is indeed breathtaking. Seiryu has successfully brought together characters of fiction and reality, and soon, I hope to witness a miracle- the inner awakening of a reincarnated seishi.
But what is this? The conversation between Yui and her boyfriend is becoming rather interesting… ~*~
*********
"Tetsuya, are you sure this place isn't that expensive?"
Tetsuya had picked Yui a little before twelve and had refused to tell her where they were headed for lunch. There was a very nice place where one could just talk and relax, he said and no, he wouldn't tell her where. Now, Yui was looking around with slightly awe-struck eyes. The restaurant seemed very exclusive, probably one of those posh places where even simple tofu cost sky-high. The color scheme was made up of beige, gold and sparkling glass everywhere, and out through the windows a well-kept flower garden was visible with meandering walks, small waterfalls and quaint bridges. In a word, it looked expensive.
"Ne, let me worry about that. The food's very good here."
"You've come here before?" You've come here before WITHOUT me?
"Iie, but I had it from the best authority. Taka brought Miaka here a couple of days back and…"
Yui laughed. "I get it. The food must be very good!"
Tetsuya removed his sunglasses, and, resting his chin on one hand, gazed at her with tenderness.
Yui smiled. He had helped her a lot. Dealing with the horrible aftermath of summoning Seiryu had left her as a mere shell of a person, unable to face life. Tetsuya had always been there for her, a steady presence in the suddenly strange and trivial world of school, exams and normal human beings. They'd been going out for a few months now, taking things slow till she felt truly ready for a serious relationship. Until she felt sure of herself. Whenever that would be.
"It's been so long since I saw you smile, Yui."
"Really?"
"Really."
"Well, you should bring me more often to places like this," she said impishly.
"Hey, you don't want me to go broke, do you?"
She laughed again and began to relax. The place had a very soothing ambiance with light music and their table was in a secluded nook, which even in midday appeared to have the soft dimness of evening. All the doubts and insecurities she had felt earlier seemed to have subsided. Maybe she did need a break.
"So Yui… now can you tell me what's going on?"
"Umm…" Yui chewed on a fingernail reflectively. What was she to tell him… 'Tetsuya, I keep thinking about my seishi and I feel guilty about them, and the feeling increases every time I see Taka, who brings back oh, so vividly their memories?' She mentally shook her head as the good feeling began to ebb. Tetsuya had made it clear several times before as to what he thought about the Seiryu seishi and since Yui did not agree with him, she preferred not to bring that topic up herself. There were some things she could never talk about, not with Tetsuya, nor anyone, and the Seiryu no Miko was one such issue. After all, who really liked to dwell on their mistakes?
"Nothing's going on," Yui stated for the second time that day.
"Yui… is it- uh- does it have anything to do with the universe of the four gods?" asked Tetsuya, disregarding her lame, clearly-untruthful reply.
"You mean, the Universe of the Four Gods?" How could he possibly know that?
"Yes. Does it?"
"I- maybe."
To her surprise, Tetsuya did not seem annoyed. He placed his sunglasses in his shirt pocket and clasped his hands on the table. A waitress who came near was sent off with a polite, "we'd like a few more minutes, please."
"Sure. Take your time." She moved away gracefully.
"Are you having nightmares again?" He asked patiently and took Yui's hand with a gentle caress.
"No, not nightmares. It's just that I… I've been thinking about them." There. She said it.
"Them as in…?"
"My seishi."
"Oh."
A light rain had begun to fall outside, drops of water sliding down the glass panes till only a dark-green indistinct blur could be seen of the garden. Yui felt cold, almost as if the rain's chill had seeped inside her. It's a funny thing how we can associate simple elements of nature with one's past, she thought. A summer shower was enough to take her back to Kutou.
She stared out at the drizzling rain, with a brooding, pensive air. The expression was not lost on Tetsuya.
"Yui, I thought we were finished with all that. Honey, it's over. You have to forget about that, let go of it."
"I'm trying. It's- I… I remember them sometimes, that's all."
"Well, just remembering your seishi can be a nightmare of the worst kind. If I'd been thinking of Tomo or Nakago-that bastard- I wouldn't sleep for a month!"
"Don't say that, Tetsuya."
Hai, Tetsuya, they were my seishi, and they're dead because I let a childish jealousy come between friends. Oh, I know what you'd say. 'Nakago manipulated you, turned you against Miaka, and made you evil and blah, blah.' Well, yes, so he did. He did manipulate me for the greater glory of Seiryu - and himself. Yes, he is-was a bastard.
But you forget, there are no rules in war. All's fair in love and war, someone says. Strange how 'love' and 'war' should be said in the same breath, ne? Or maybe not so strange. I thought I loved Tamahome and… well.
Nakago was fighting for himself, a war against his given fate. I think in a way, that was what we were all trying to do. Fight against what seemed like undefeatable circumstances. Though it seems simple now. All it needed was communication to bring Miaka and me back together. Why couldn't I think of it before, then? I'm supposed to be the smart one. It just goes to prove… you can't beat fate.
"Yui, you ought to be grateful none of the Seiryuu came back like Taka did. I mean, can you imagine Nakago-that-bastard walking around here in Tokyo now? Or that psychotic Suboshi with his yo-yos of doom? Or…" Tetsuya went on listing the various offensive characteristics of every Seiryu seishi with ruthless accuracy.
Suboshi.
A vision of a tousled, sandy-blonde head and a pair of wild blue eyes obtruded in Yui's mind. However, this time she did not immediately repress that vision as she normally would have done. It hurt her a lot just to think of him, thoughts of his unseen death choking up everything else. It still hurt unbearably, but Yui defiantly accepted the pain, holding his face in memory.
The one person who had really loved her… as Seiryu no Miko. He had loved her with all the passion and fury of the first flush of love. And she had given him death in return.
"…or that high-voltage electricity woman? Thank Suzaku they didn't show up. Yui, what- are you crying?"
Yui wrenched her hand away, now unable to control her temper and tears. How could he joke about them?
"Iie, just leave my seishi alone!"
Tetsuya gave a start, mildly alarmed by her vehemence. "Okay. Don't get so worked up. What I'm trying to say is- forget about them. That chapter of your life is over, and it's not coming back. You don't want that, do you?"
A chance to correct past mistakes, a chance to redeem myself? A second chance? Oh yes, please Seiryuu… yes. I'd do anything…
"No."
"I'm glad to hear it! Now why don't we order…"
Yui nodded, then reached for a glass of water on the table and bent over it, still struggling to resolve her thoughts and emotions. She was in a restaurant, for the love of all heaven, and she had to control herself. Tetsuya was really trying to help her, and was just being very male and authoritative about it. What he said was very true; her seishi had been…different. They hadn't exactly inspired feelings of love and affection- ha, certainly not. So what was the use of wishful thinking? She was careful of making wishes now. Wishes were best left in fairy tales.
But … I do wish we could have a second chance. It isn't fair… I wish I could see them again.
A tear slid down her cheek and Yui rubbed it furiously away. I have to learn to control this, darn it. A year was more than enough to set things in perspective. Look at Miaka, Yui thought with a sad smile. Miaka could handle the loss of her seishi. But… Miaka now had Tamahome/Taka, who was miraculously given to her by her god.
And as for herself…she had no one. They were all dead.
She had Tetsuya who hated them, and that did not help.
The waitress returned and gave them menus, murmuring all the right things about the restaurant and the food in general. Yui barely glanced at her, silently going through the choices offered, and picked a vegetable salad that awoke no culinary interest. She was on a diet anyway. There was an awkward pause and then Yui blinked as their server addressed her in a self-assured and strangely familiar tone.
"Miss, is everything all right?" Yui looked up to see the waitress staring at her with an expression of concern, though her attitude remained deferential. The subdued light glinted off her copper-red hair and though her features were slightly shadowed, Yui could see the slanting, luminescent gray-green eyes. She gasped.
"Can I get you something else?" The unwary young woman continued.
The tie between a seishi and a miko is a very subtle thing. Though Yui had had very little contact with Soi, knowing that she was the object of the seishi's outward respect and inner jealousy, but it only took one look for her to discern this woman was Soi. The short hair, modern clothes, vaguely altered features and an unexpected air of servility posed no barrier as miko stared at her lost seishi for moments that seemed to transcend an entire lifetime.
Could wishes come true? Do gods really answer one's prayers?
Despite the fact that she had spent the whole time fantasizing about meeting her seishi, when Kaen stood before her Yui could only think it was all a dream. When one hopes and prays for that seemingly impossible wish, knowing in the heart that it could never come true and that it was insane to even think of it… when one sees that come true defying logic and commonsense, the mortal mind cannot instantly comprehend the reality.
Is it… How can this be? Seiryuu, are you playing tricks on me?
"So- Soi?"
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Kaen smiled farewell to a group of diners, and then added the time-honored phrase inviting them to return soon. A correct bow, another correct smile and the men left to pay the bill at the front desk. Returning to the back section, Kaen slipped into her unobtrusive corner, where she could observe her surroundings without being seen. Two waiters and another waitress were the only personnel active among the few patrons, who were chiefly loud foreigners absorbed in business discussions over liquor. A very light evening, as far as work was concerned. Apart from the unpleasant incident in the afternoon, quite a good day, Kaen thought with complacent satisfaction.
Then she remembered the 'unpleasant incident' and a small frown creased her carefully shaped eyebrows.
She had seen the pretty blonde girl sit quiet through most of the conversation with her companion, her head hung sadly over a glass of water, the very picture of dejection. Not even did handing over the menu produce any change, and the girl picked a most unremarkable dish, which was quite shocking to Kaen. Yuuan was an eatery specializing in vegetarian, ethnic cuisine. It was almost a slight to the restaurant, picking a wretched salad when there were so many exotic choices.
It had just slipped out -- that uncalled for question regarding the girl's well being. Kami, it was VERY bad manners to quiz a customer on their state of mind, much less their eating preferences. Still, what was done was done and Kaen had tried her best to rectify the situation by politely asking if she could bring her anything else. Instead, the situation had taken an unexpected turn; her well-meaning inquiry had been met with a stare of what looked to be utter horror; after which the girl rose hurriedly from the seat, the water glass that had been in her hand shattering on the floor.
"So- Soi?"
"Huh? Nani?"
"Yui! What are you doing?" Her handsome companion had quickly moved to the blonde's side, looking totally flabbergasted.
"Soi! Tetsuya, don't you see? It's her!"
Kaen had blinked hard. Her parents in their parental wisdom had named her Ayame Kaen Nakamura, a dorky name, yes, but still, she had no intention of owning any other. Soi who?
"Yui, calm down! That's our waitress… not uh- who you think. Sit down, honey. There. You're a bit confused, that's all." With a lot of persuasive coaxing, he finally settled Yui back in her chair and then turned to Kaen with an apologetic, embarrassed smile. "I'm sorry about that. You see, Yui- well, she recently lost some people close to her-"
Kaen smiled gently. "I understand, and please don't worry about it. Anou… can I get your order?"
"Uh… sure, guess so. Yui?"
"Hai," Yui replied in a subdued voice.
After Kaen brought their meal, the couple ate it in what looked to be a strained, uneasy atmosphere with Yui remaining silent under her companion's confused, frowning countenance. Thankfully, there were very few people in that section, so a major scene had been averted. Kaen shook her head sagely at the recollection. Even if he was cute, that boyfriend had been a baka to bring the poor girl to a public place when Yui was obviously still grieving for a lost friend.
Kaen sighed. It wasn't a nice feeling to be associated with someone who was dead, but she had to give Yui some credit. While leaving the blonde had apologized for the mix-up, a rather insincere one (so it seemed to Kaen), but an apology nevertheless.
"You look so much like someone I knew… I'm sorry. I must be mistaken. You- you can't be her. She's dead. They're all dead…"
She sighed again, feeling pangs of sympathy towards the distraught Yui . Poor kid. Losing folks at such a young age must be very tough. Then with a mental shrug, she fell to perusing the pages of a fashion magazine, trying to pass time till ten pm.
**********
~*~ I sit at an empty table, troubled and confused, and continue to stare at Soi. Oh, forget Kaen, this is Soi. How else did I sense and come to her? Supernatural beings don't make mistakes. I touch her aura yet again to make sure. Seiryu, this is no use.
I cannot believe she hasn't yet recovered her memories. One look at the miko is supposed to bring recollections flooding through the mind of a seishi, awakening that inner consciousness, since all their lives are linked to her. Instead what do I see? I see a mistake. Gods don't make mistakes and neither can I, but for the moment that seems to be the case. But perhaps I am being hasty… Seiryuu's voice thunders again.
"At the right moment their memories will awaken."
At the right moment…
Oh, Seiryu-seikun, hasn't the right moment arrived yet? What if Nakago should run into Yui and regain his memories first? Heaven forbid that, but I can sense his reincarnated self close, very close. Only Soi can help Nakago to deal with his past and she is… well, at the moment, Kaen is happily buried in the pages of 'Vogue' with no idea of what's going on.
I cannot bear to see them walk away as strangers, not after all the heartbreak both of them endured in their previous lives. But even more, I cannot bear to see Nakago deal alone with all the pain reincarnation brings. You see, it can be said that I am in part responsible for his change from a young boy into what he became as 'Nakago'. I wish to at least soften the pangs of memory for him. It is only for his sake that I am here…
Well, it's futile to sit and mope. Nakago isn't here yet and I'd better return to the miko and see what's going on there. After all, Seiryu must have a plan and it is not for me to complain about divine preparations. May everything proceed as he wishes.
I think… and I am near Yui, transported at the speed of thought.
There are certain privileges when one is a spirit, you know… ~*~**********
"Tetsuya, I'm sorry about what happened back there. I-I ruined our date..."
"Forget about that. This is serious, isn't it? This seishi thing?"
After a silent ride in the car, Tetsuya had taken Yui to a park where both of them were sitting side by side, watching the sunset over the park's picturesque pond. The afternoon rain had showered the trees and greenery with raindrops that still lingered, glittering like diamonds in the golden, fading light. It was quite cool, the weather nothing like the intense Tokyo summer. Some kids ran around playing happily while careful parents kept an eye on their exuberant movements.
"I think about them sometimes, Tetsuya. Nothing more. There is no 'seishi thing,' as you say."
Yui managed to look coolly nonchalant she told the lie, though it was a desperate attempt to deceive Tetsuya into letting go of that subject. She was embarrassed enough as it was, and all she wanted was to go home, take a shower and try forget everything. Of course, she could never do that, but one always had to try, she thought bitterly. She had been so sure it was really Soi at the restaurant and for a wild moment, had even hoped he and the others might be there too.
Wishful thinking.
Tetsuya was incredulous. "You call THAT nothing? Yui, you walked into a restaurant and accused a waitress of being a Seiryu seishi." He pronounced 'Seiryu seishi' in the same tone as one would mention something particularly disgusting, like hairy warts or smelly old socks.
"She looked like Soi, so I thought-"
"How can you even think something horrible like that? Besides, she didn't look like Soi. She had red hair, but otherwise-" Yui interrupted him coldly.
"Have you seen Soi? You seem to be very well-informed."
"Soi was supposed to have long red hair done up in a braid. The Shinjintenchisho gave very accurate details about seishi's appearances, so I know all about it. And leaving the hair, a seiryu seishi would have that certain kind of look about them- devious, sneaky and ready-to-fry-ya-alive-to-crisp kind of look. That waitress was cute. Nothing like Soi," concluded a triumphant Tetsuya. A dark thought made him sit up hastily. "And if Soi were here, what about that bastard, Nakago? He should be here too then, Suzaku forbid!" He shook his head. "It would be a huge mistake."
"Must you keep saying that? And Nakago's dead, ne? There's no need to curse him now."
Yui folded her arms and stared at the red-gold water, colored by a sinking sun, another day dying with it. Life was just like that…here now, dead now. What was there to tell if people existed or not? Everything, all life was an illusion. People were just a part of that mirage. Maybe that was what she had seen at the restaurant. An illusion. A cruel illusion. But then again, as Tetsuya had asked, did she really want her seishi to come back?
She had barely known them. A few chance encounters and that was it. They were all mostly just faces in her mind, with no voice, no substance. She didn't even understand Suboshi, learning of the depth of his love for her only at his death. Miboshi, Ashitare, Amiboshi, Tomo, Soi- they were just names. And Nakago…
Nakago… she remembered him as she had seen him always- cool, confident, with a smirk plastered on his face. There was no doubt that should she see him again, she would definitely slap the bastard- as hard as she could- for using her trust and making a puppet of her and everyone else for his become-a-god scheme. At the time of Seiryu's summoning she hadn't cared about the terrible consequences of a mortal wanting to be a god, and would have wished it for him just the same, because she had trusted him absolutely.
Everything Nakago had told her was a lie. She had become Seiryu no Miko to punish Miaka for abandoning her. A lie. He had said he loved her. A lie. All the care and concern he had shown her… all a damned lie. He was a cruel and heartless monster, Yui said to herself bitterly, and it served him right to die damned. Heck, she should be thankful he was gone from her life. She only wanted Nakago to come back so she could tell him with her fists what she thought of him and his manipulation and his lies.
Even so, Nakago was a bastard who was better off dead. Who knew, if he came back he might start another plan to take over the world.
But… he-they aren't coming back, ever.Strange that that thought didn't make her feel particularly thankful. Instead, she felt empty… and alone.
"Yui-" Tetsuya had shifted in his seat till he was facing her. "Yui, I'm just trying to look out for you. I know what you went through in the Book, and I know its been very hard on you. It was tough, yes. But kirei, it's all over. You can get on with your life now. Forget Nakago, forget about those freaks, forget Seiryuu ever existed."
"Mmhmm," Yui murmured vaguely, wondering how she could ever forget. She had summoned Seiryuu, felt a god's power run through her veins… and as for the 'freaks,' she had felt each seishi's death deeply, almost as if a part of her inside had died with each of them.
How could she just forget?
She wanted to know if they were all right, wherever they were.
What an irony. She hadn't cared two bits for them when they lived, and now she wanted to know about their well being. What a big, cosmic joke. But that was the truth-she wanted to see them again-all of them. Wishful thinking? Maybe. She really didn't care.
But of course, she couldn't very well tell Tetsuya that.
The sun had set over the water, and despite the darkened sky, a few streaks of red remained on the clear blue water. They were quite alone; upon the coming on of the rain shower, all the children had long since gone home. In the middle distance, solitary swings swayed in the wind, ghost-like in the falling shadows. Yui sighed once, her breath blending with the damp air.
Tetsuya cared for her. He really did. She should feel content with that and not trouble herself with thoughts of a dragon god and dead people. But do we all feel what we should? Well, she could think about that later. She shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts, and then pushed back her tumbled hair.
"Yui, are you okay? You're being very quiet…"
Yui turned to look at Tetsuya, who was watching her worriedly, sans his normally ever-present shades. Stretching out a crafty hand, she picked the sunglasses from his shirt pocket and put them on herself. Coupled with a sudden grin, they gave her a rakish, 'bad-girl' appearance, which Tetsuya did not know what to make of, considering their present conversation. He blinked.
"Uh, Yui?"
"I've always wanted to try on your shades. How do I look?"
He pursed his lips and lifted a doubtful eyebrow. "Hmmmm…. They're too big, but we can fix that. Wait, Yui, wha-where are you going? Hey, we were having a serious conversation here!"
"I know, but I'm hungry! Come on, let's go for pizza!"
"But we just had a meal! You can't be hungry already!"
Yui grinned. "I guess it's true then… best friends are alike!"
She pulled him up from the seat and dragged him protesting all the way over to the car. She was evading the real issue, but what was the use of worrying Tetsuya, who had shown her nothing but patience and kindness? There was nothing to be done about her seishi and no matter what, she would always have her memories, her guilt and her fantasies. If she couldn't share them, she could at least act as if everything was okay for his sake.
Besides, a little rumble from her stomach suggested that it wasn't all acting…
~*~ As I sit on a swing and gaze with reverence at the departing Seiryuu no Miko, I am sorry for her- sadness mixed with admiration for a brave soul. Placing her heartache and despair behind, Yui is still able to smile and face the world… truly she is worthy to be the priestess of the god of war.
What happened in the past had nothing to do with her nor her seishi. It was the work of the gods, of fate, of karma. She can never be held responsible for it. I can sense her anguish and hopelessness, but alas, being what I am, I cannot comfort her. All I can say is…
Before the morning comes, darkness must pass. Be patient, miko. You shall see them again.
I too understand a few things now. In my childish naïveté, I had thought that the mere presence of the miko should be able to restore a seishi's identity. It is not so simple. A lot more has to take place before I can see the stars awaken in their former glory. Well, I have all the time in the world and I will keep faithful watch over the miko and the seishi of Seiryu.
That reminds me, a meeting is imminent between Kaen and… I don't know his present name- he who was Nakago. ~*~
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Coming next- Chapter II - Heart's Lodging
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