Notes: (chapters are named after famous pregnancy books. Only tweaked.)

Chapter 2

As they walk, the continuous itching on her belly is one of the only two things that bother her. The other is the continuous babbling of Clint and Tony in her ear. They're on the group frequency, so everyone can hear their conversation.

"What brought you to this life-changing decision?" Clint asks formally as he glides through branches up ahead. His voice has an official sounding tone, as though he were interviewing for some shmaltzy newspaper like The National Register.

"I wanted a kid and I was ready for it." Answers Natasha matter-of-factly.

"Who'th the father?" Tony asks. She ignores him.

"Pretty sudden choice, wouldn't you say?" Clint continues

"I've been thinking about it for two years. Actively planning for months. I'm shocked it happened this quickly too. I was expecting it to take longer. Got it in the first attempt. I was going to tell you guys before, but I'm a private sort of person. Needed the right time. "

"Very well. Where ya gonna keep it?" From Clint.

"In a bassinet, then when it's old enough, a crib."

"Funny."

"Who'th the father?" Tony butts in again. Natasha sighs angrily.

"What is it, Tony, couple of nights there you don't remember? Too much fruit juice? Scared you might find out something you don't wanna know about?" She shoots at him, smirking. He scowls at her.

"Fine. I'll thtop. Low move, by the way. But all ith fair in love and war. I'll thtop"

"No, don't. " Begs Clint over the intercom. "It'th adorable" He says, mimicking the lisp plaguing Tony. Everyone but Tony snicker.

"If you don't mind my asking." Bruce interjects. "What service did you use?"

"Thervice? She'th not a breeding mare, Bruthie. Tell uth, Tash. Where do liberated, modern-day proactive women buy their baby juithe?"

The laughter has to die down before she can answer Tony.

"If you must know, I used an online database to find the perfect donor. I searched every bank in the country."

"You mean you uthed mere mortal thpethimenths? Thample...thperm...themen...God damn it, how many eth-words exitht!?"

"If you mean to say you think I'm picky about the genes, Stark. Yes. I was. Very. I hacked into every donor registry and found out every intimate detail about each donor I could."

"What did you find?" Steve asks. Everyone smirks. It's the first he's asked, though aware of modern advances in fertility treatment, they're sure this is making him curious anyway.

"Well" She continues. "I found the perfect donor."

"Who is he?" Clint asks.

"I don't know."

Everyone pauses. Phil casts a shocked glance in her direction. Clint is incredulous.

"How can you not know? You're The Black Widow! Didn't you say you tried to find every detail you could-"

"Exactly. Each time I looked deeply enough, I'd dislike the donor and discard the file. That is until I located a file so highly encrypted even I couldn't hack it. I realized that I was never going to approve of someone once I'd read up enough about them, so I thought- "well, this one meets the challenge". I'm assuming the donor encrypted the file himself. So he has to be smart, and he's highly educated and trained, according to what amount of information was in his profile. I bought it, shipped it directly to myself, via the lab"

"Uh...where'd you locate the ...specimen? Geographically, I mean" Phil asks quietly.

"Would you believe? Mobile, Alabama, of all places!"

Everyone laughs, except Phil. He stops in his tracks.

"He...he must've wanted to keep it somewhere useful."

Tony laughs. "Probably thought he wath doing them a favor. Increathing the I.Q of the area with hith powerful progeny."

"And you know what?" Natasha adds. "It was almost as if the quality of encryption was SHIELD standard." They all giggle for a split second. That's all though, because it's within a second that they all, bar Thor, stop laughing at the exact same moment. A deep realization creeps over the crew. They all cast their gaze to the one high level SHIELD operative on the mission. Phil stands there, looking pale, shifting his feet nervously.

"Well, you done did it, didn't you Coultho- Phil. Agent." Tony quips. Everyone else stares the whoosh of Clint as he falls to a perfect landing on the forest floor doesn't distract anyone.

"I didn't...I mean...I did...but" Phil can't hide it. The blush. "I didn't think she'd be the one to get it. I just wanted to...do something nice for someone out there, I didn't know it'd be..."

Everyone gasps.

"Wait wait, *I* Wath bluffing." Interjects Tony. "You mean you really DID?!"

Phil can't do anything but shrug and nod. They gape at him. That's when the second realization hits. Their collective gaze turns to another member of the team, and Natasha can feel the tip of her ears burst into a red blush as the eyes of the rest of the team, bar Phil, who is sort of looking at the ground- rest first on her eyes, then on her stomach.

Tony bursts into uproarious laughter.

"You knocked her up!? OH MAN, that'th golden!" He aims for a hi-five but Phil just gives him a blank stare and leaves him hanging. Clint is now standing beside Natasha rubbing her back, wearing a bemused, almost shell shocked expression. Natasha looks a little red.

"You alright, Tash? You look a little...angry?"

"HE DID *NOT* KNOCK ME UP, ANTHONY STARK!" She marches over to him, jabbing a pointed finger in his chest- directly atop the arc. "I CHOSE to use a donor service. I had Dr Jane Foster help me with it. Phil didn't know. I didn't know. I picked - all by myself- the person who I considered to be the very best donor." She marches back past the others, and on ahead, calling back as she does so.

"And I still believe I made the right decision!"

The rest of the team shoot the guy a supportive grimace.
Phil can't help but smile weakly, as he falls into pace, slightly behind the rest of the group..

Sometime later, perhaps only 15 minutes, perhaps hours (time sort of falls into the wayside when deep in thought) Natasha manages to fall back into place beside Phil.

"Hey, it really is OK."She says warmly to him. "It's not like it ties us together. You did something to help out someone else you didn't know. A wonderful gesture. Turns out it was me. I'm telling you, it's not an issue, and I don't expect anything more of you than what you've obviously already given me." She breaks into a kind, genuinely grateful smile. " That's how I see this. A gift. Nothing to be embarrassed about or tiptoe around."

He smiles sheepishly.

"I guess not."

She licks her lips and hesitates to speak, opening her mouth before closing it again. Phil raises an eyebrow. So she continues.

"But...if you want to...you know, be involved with the child. Just...like an Uncle figure or something. That'd be OK with me too."

He smiles. "It...might make it easier, you know, for us to define my connection to the kid, after all. We work in close quarters."

She nods, smiling. "Right. No shame in it. We let them know from day one who you are, and what role you play. It's easy as pie."

They share the moment, continuing to walk in amicable silence. They continue for some time, perhaps only a few short miles from the jet when Natasha suddenly halts, gasping.

"What's wrong?" Bruce asks, coming up behind them.

"I felt something-" Natasha said. "Like...a cramp, only- ow!" She rushes a hand to her belly. "Yes, there it is...it's an ache, it...ow, it hurts- ow, god!"

"Everyone stop!" Bruce calls into the earpiece. "Just need to check something." He indicates for Natasha to lay down, Phil places his jacket under her head, while she opens the front of her jumpsuit again, struggling to undo the zip. Her eyes widen in shock.

"What the hell!?" She says. The others are now rushing back, Clint landing right by her side.

"Holy shit, your stomach...it's swelling!"

"It's...oh god, it's not-"

Bruce is feeling around, eyes focused. He prods in different areas.

"Can I get everyone to...turn around for a moment. Please." They do so. Bruce looks her in the eye.

"Natasha, I'm just gonna check to make sure...maybe you should check to make sure you're not bleeding. Rule out a haemorrhage or..."

"Right" She nods, pulse racing as she reaches a hand down the front of her jumpsuit. She pulls it out moments later, and breaths a sigh of relief.

"No blood-"

"We need to get you back as soon as possible. " Bruce decides. "Tony, you should carry her back to- Tony?!"

Tony isn't there, but they hear him over the earpiece.

"I'm already flying ahead, I'm gonna get back as soon as I can and try to find a way to reverse this damn thing!"

"Hey, your lisp-" Clint notices.

"What?"

"Your lisp is gone!"

Everyone else begins to evaluate their own situation- sure enough, Clint's hair, which he has tied back with a bowstring, hasn't extended past the middle of his back. Bruce feels his ear lobe- it's stopped growing and remains in place. The only people with symptoms still showing are Phil, with his calloused, peeling hand, and Natasha's itching, aching, swelling stomach.

"That makes sense" Says Steve. "He got a bigger dose than the others. The only person with a higher dose was Black Widow."

"So...is it the..." Phil can't finish the sentence.

Bruce nods, pressing gently but firmly into Natasha's abdomen.

"I would say...in the last half hour, this pregnancy has advanced by 5-6 weeks."

"What!?" Natasha bursts out. "I'm only eight weeks along!"

"Hyper cell regulation, the baby is developing at a much faster rate, and seems to be in ratio to the strength and length of your exposure to the beam." He rubs the now reddening streaks of her belly. "The itching is your skin stretching faster than normal to accommodate the growing fetus."

"How fast? How fast is it growing?!"

Bruce quickly does the mental math.

"I'm gonna estimate...maybe ten weeks an hour."

"Good f*&%ing lord" Clint curses. "If she's 13-14 weeks now, she's almost half-way. In another two or so hours..."

This doesn't sit well with Natasha. "No...no! I am not having this baby in two hours!"

"No." Bruce agrees. "No, it has to be sooner."

"What!?"

"The baby is continuing to grow at an exponential rate, and judging by the length of exposure, as compared to when our growth stopped in ratio to our exposure- this baby isn't due to stop growing until...well after it's due. If you don't go into labor early enough, the baby will be too large to deliver by the time you're ready"

She's panting now, in fear. Unconsciously, she grabs for the nearest person. People. Clint and Phil both crash into her side, grabbing a hand or a back or whatever they can support.

"And after? How long will the growing continue?"

"Another hour or so, I'm guessing."

"So you're saying I need to give birth...at 8 weeks...to a baby who is going to be almost 3 months developed by the time it's an hour old!?" She glares, and then calms down, taking on a resolute tone.

"No. This won't do. Tony is going to...to fix that machine, and we're going to get back to the jet, and get me to him so we can reverse this thing."

"I think we need to prepare for a possible c-section at hospital, Natasha" Bruce adds. "But Tony's smart, maybe we can try our luck. Let's move."

They all gather their wits and return to their march, Thor stops slightly ahead.

"I shall diverge from our shared path here, friends. If there is answer to be found in my realm, I shall seek it out and bring it back henceforth." He strides up to Natasha, taking her hand in his. " I will not fail thee, fair mother, in your time of need." With a quick bow, Thor swings the hammer and aims skyward. He's gone in a krak-koom and a flash of lightening.

"Well then!" Natasha says, taking charge as Clint and Phil both help her to her feet.

"What're we waiting for? Let's go!" And with just as quick a pace as before, she marches on ahead.