You can see it at the razzies - 2015 version
Plot: it's that time again! sorry it took so long /
Nikita, Mia1986, Ross, Colin, Marvin, Chrissy, Roma, : just get it over with
Oh come on! My yearly spoof isn't that bad or painful. (Nikita, Mia1986, Ross, Colin, Marvin, Chrissy, Roma, groan) It's actually well thought up and researched plus you get to -
Ross: Wyld?
That's my name don't wear it out. What's up?
Ross: do you want mia1986 and I to karate kick your tail, break your nose ... and give you a black eye…. Yet again ?
Ummm...no.
Mia1986 and Ross: then get to the spoof and shut your yap before we shut it for you!
Fine. No respect for a writing genius these days ( mia1986 and Ross fake cough 'big-headed' ). Oh come on! My ego isn't THAT big
Chrissy, Marvin Mia1986 and Ross: we sooo beg to differ!
(ignores them) My fictionpress persona BigKidatHeart aka BK and my friends show up in the spoof. Italics - extra lines and XXX Keeps the verses apart. Enjoy!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
BK: you know WC we should be glad to live in this glorious age of movies
WC: really? It seems like this year was nothing but ( sees her friends glaring at her) dung.
Bk: ( nervously chuckles): of course there was a lot of dung but it was a wide selection of ...dung.
Nikita, Ross, Marvin, Chrissy, mia1986, Roma, Bethany : do tell how you're right about this
BK: uhhhh (Music begins)
. XXX
WC: we had mega flops like that awful sci fi Jupiter ascending
BK: which didn't make diddly despite its special effects and big stars like eddie redmanye and Mila Kunis headlining
Marvin, Nikita, Colin, Mollie Chrissy, mia1986 (kick BK in the rear with King fu moves) : HEY! That's our crushes you're totally bashing. ( BK winces in pain)
XXX
BK and WC: it's an easy situation .
A plain declaration:
if it's crappy you can find it at the Razzies
XXX
WC: the big screen version of Fifty Shades of whipped up a ton of dough .
Making it a given for the sequels to be a given for the next few years or so. (WC pretends to hurl)
XXX
BK : yet the atrocious acting, and bad plot made people forget its a horrendously bad por-(Chrissy, Carrie, Bethany , Nikita , Scottie Mia1986, Ross, smack her with a hardcover copy of the book) -Owwwwwww-
XXX
WC & BK: it's a simple declaration-no negotiation
if it's crappy you can find it at the Razzies
XXX
WC: and if you reeeeally crave a brain draining numbing 'thrill'
They're always coming up with lots of new swill
XXX
BK: like the wedding ringer .yeeeeech
XXX
WC: Ed Helms was once known for funny movies
But lately he's been making some reeeeeeeaaally shoddy comedies
XXX
BK: like that utterly horrid Vacation . uggh! Who would even watch that? Honestly!
XXX
WC & BK: here's how you do it:
You don't think before you buy a ticket and see it
if it's crappy you can find it at the Razzies (Music fades into background)
XXX
WC: I'm getting the hang of this BK
BK: I told you that you would
WC: for sure . how's this? (Music kicks in again)
XXX
WC: as 'maleficent' and "Cinderella " proved, reviving old fairy tales is the hot trend that makes the cash pour in
So Warner Brothers decided to put their own spin on Peter Pan's orgin
BK: sadly I gave money to it . even with a cute guy the movie was terrible and the acting was totally wooden.
XXX
BK and WC: we're not gonna over sell-ya
We just need to tell ya
if it's crappy you can find it at the Razzies
XXX
BK: now fox had trouble staying in the race.
So they thought rebooting fantastic four would put them back in first place (Yeeeech)
BK: sadly it was a mega expensive disasterous flop . it was so terrible they quickly yanked the ugh future sequel from it's locked in place. thank you fox!
XXX
BK and WC: You may try to ignore it
Bethany, Marvin, James, Nikita, Mia1986, Ross, Colin: boy do we loathe it
BK and WC: if it's crappy you can find it at the Razzies
XXX
James and Roma, Elizabeth, Bethany : Alvin and the chipmunks: the road chip I'd so recommend
WC: (pretends to gag): it was truly a terrible awful film that I wish it would have (Music cuts out, screen goes black. A punching sound and then a cry of pain is heard. Music kicks back in and screen comes back. WC has a broken nose and black eye courtesy of James, Chrissy, Carrie, Roma, Elizabeth, Bethany, Ross, Mia1986 )
XXX
BK: to conclude the philosophy to which we ( glances at James, Chrissy, Carrie, Roma, Elizabeth, Bethany, Ross, Mia1986) mostly agree
All the awful movies are vital, don't you see?
WC: cause you need wretched films to balance out big budgeted movies
XXX
BK & WC: let's bring up the curtain
Its totally certain
if it's crappy you can find it at the Razzies