Setting: Just prior to Stargate Atlantis episode 2.03, "Runner."
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters or the Stargate franchise.
Evan Lorne wanted to scream. That would, of course, be totally improper behavior for one of the senior officers of a multinational expedition to another galaxy, but there it was. His new CO, Lt. Col. Sheppard, had assigned him and his team to babysit Dr. Parrish, a botanist, on a field trip to P3M-736. It wasn't that Evan hated forests or the outdoors; he'd been on enough missions to undeveloped or unpopulated areas, after all. He just disliked trailing after exuberant and easily distracted scientists, especially in the dark, in an unsecured zones. And he disliked Parrish particularly; he always put Evan in mind of vampires. Truly ironic, given the existence of the Wraith in Pegasus; though in Parrish's case, he sapped Evan's patience, spirit, and will to live.
And he could swear he saw amusement in Sheppard's eyes as he gave the assignment, too. Not that Evan resented the colonel over this. Sheppard was hardly one to sit around all day and make others do the work. But now that he had more personnel to which he could delegate such responsibilities as making sure the idiot geniuses didn't hurt themselves...
It reminded him all too much of the mining expedition on P3X-403 back in the Milky Way, when all those guys were going on and on about rocks. At least the naquadah had practical, real-world applications. Like building warships. Biiiiiiiig warships.
Leaving Reed and Coughlin on sentry duty at the Gate, Evan followed Parrish into the dank, dark forest. The deeper they went, the more his personal antipathy towards the botanist gave way to unease. Whole contingents of Wraith could be lurking in the darkness. Though, given the lack of human life (i.e., food) on this planet, that wasn't very likely. It was far more likely that they'd be ambushed by wolves. Or bears. Or T-rexes...
"You know, when they told me I'd be traveling to another galaxy, visiting strange new worlds, defending humanity against unimaginable alien threats, this just is not what I pictured," Evan Lorne drawled to cover his growing anxiety...