DISCLAIMER: I sadly do not own Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, or it's characters, or anything else affiliated with the franchise. All that belongs to Dick Wolf. The only thing I own, is my own ideas for this story, therefore the only thing I get out of this, would be the pride and joy of people reading this. At least I hope people get pride and joy out of this…

When Worlds Collide

CHAPTER TWO: PENNY FOR YOUR THOUGHTS?

A/N: (This A/N will be sort of long, sorry ahead of time) Hope everyone enjoyed the first chapter! I was happy to see that I got a few people to follow it within the first fifteen minutes! So thank you to you guys! Anywho, I guess I should have clarified from the get go that this will be an Olivia and Elliot story, though it probably seemed like a Rafael/Olivia story. Also, I'm a night person, so a lot of the time my updates will be posted late -or early depending where you are. I'm in the Central Standard Time in the U.S. of A. so that's how I base my timing. I've got about five chapters written, it's just a matter of typing them, but if you have any ideas for what you'd like to see happen, just let me know! I'll consider anything. This chapter is more of a short look into Olivia's thought process and getting Noah into the story for the first time. You'll notice a lot of what she thinks about is of what Elliot is doing, what he would do, or where he is. Sorry it's not the greatest, but it'll lead into the next day -which is the next chapter- for the lunch that's planned. I'll wait for the next two chapters (chapter 4 probably) before I have Elliot and Olivia cross paths again, but have no fear, it'll happen. Thank you again for reading and let me know if anything comes across as odd, or just what you think! I don't have a set number of reviews I need before the next chapter, but it is nice to know what people are thinking since this is my first time writing anything of this kind. Okay, this is long enough, hope you enjoy this chapter enough to come back! :)

-This chapter takes off literally right after chapter one ended.-

She shook her head no quickly, and she told herself no, there was just no way in hell she could. She realized she had never truly thought of it that way before. She closed her eyes and rested her head on the head rest in the back of the cab. Damn it! It was so much easier to hold the pent up sadness and especially the anger she had for the one and only Elliot Stabler. Because damn, the only kid she ever really quote had before being blessed with Noah, was Calvin, and well, she didn't even want to think about that time in her life. How could she have even thought about how it felt with to be him in the that position? There was no way, not until now.

Now with Noah in her care, she was constantly thinking of him when babies -boys or girls- and toddlers were somehow connected to a case. Especially when they were being the ones being victimized by the scum of the earth she helped put away everyday. She knew, based on how Elliot was, it would only get worse as Noah grew up, and eventually started asking questions. Would she tell him, about his own conception? That his father, was a notorious sex trafficking leader in the Northeast that trafficked girls from all over the world? That his own father had practically ordered the death of his mother? Would she tell him that she herself was brought into this world because somebody had raped her mother, but her mother was abusive and was an alcoholic? How much to share with a child that isn't biologically hers.

Of course she had plenty of time to think about these things. Noah was just only a year old, so he probably wouldn't start asking questions until at least the age of thirteen. Twelve Years. That's how long she had before Noah would really start in on the questions of how he was brought into this world. Hopefully anyway. That's also how long you and Elliot were partners! So now that you're on this mind set, think about how he must of felt all these years. Having three girls -four if you included Kathy- and two boys at home? You know him better than nearly anyone Olivia. You knew he would try to keep the horrors of his job he saw everyday from them and from his wife.

"Jesus." she whispered shaking her head for the millionth time this evening. While she was still partially upset that he never talked to her face to face, she was slowly beginning to understand why he left. Was she still upset about how he chose to just up and leave? Absolutely! Mad/Angry about it? Maybe a little bit, but what's it matter, she'd probably never see him again. "Fuck!" she hissed feeling as though someone had just punched her in the stomach and knocked every bit of oxygen out of her. She breathed in, then out. She was happy that she had opened her window a little bit. It's probably for the best that she never saw him again anyway, "Son-of-a-bitch! What in the hell?" it was as though something was grasping onto her heart this time. But she knew in her profession, if she ever saw Elliot Stabler again, nothing good would come out of the reasoning. The only time she knew it wouldn't be a bad thing is if she accidentally ran into him somewhere. Like their bar they used to always go to, their favorite place to get coffee in the mornings, or at the Chinese food place since their mutual love of Chinese food was one of the first things they bonded over. She smiled at that, she just wished they could see each other at least once, even if it was from afar. That way she'd be able to know that he's still alive and kicking in this world somewhere. But what would Kathy and the kids think if they were ever to see her again? Would the twins, or especially Eli recognize her? {A/N: the ages are younger for everyone in this story. The ages will be in the final A/N at the end of this chapter}

But he's not married anymore Olivia! Remember? You intentionally had notifications sent to your email every time his name came up in any paper in the country so you'd know if something happened to him or one of the kids. And even if Eli doesn't remember you, maybe she would get the chance. Yeah! Right! That's doubtful! the voice in her head so nicely reminded her. She couldn't help but to think back at the memory of reading that particular notification. It had been a mere four months since his sudden disappearance in her life. Truth be told, she was scared shitless to open the email, scared that she'd open it and it'd be his obituary from eating his gun, or something worse. Three hours and just as many glasses of wine later, she finally found enough strength to open the email. When she did, she honestly wasn't sure if she should have been happy that it was a divorce announcement stating, "Elliot Stabler and Kathy Malone divorce finalized on August 19, 2012" under the court proceedings of a small news paper she couldn't even remember the name of now, or saddened that it had come less than six months after the shooting of Jenna.

Multiple times that week she had contemplated calling him to find out what was going on, but the first year after his quote "disappearance", she was so crushed, hurt, angry, and nearly every other emotion she could think of. She was weak then, she couldn't let him see her that way!

"We're here ma'am." the cab driver brought her out of the memory and her own thoughts.

She smiled slightly, "Thank you. And keep the change!" she gave him the two twenties she had in her purse.

"Thank you ma'am." he smiled back, "For the tip and for helping to keep our wonderful city safe."

She nodded, got out of the back and jogged up to her apartment building. She opened the door, went inside, and walked over to the elevator. She tapped her foot waiting, she really wanted to see Noah right now. He was the one of the few things that could make her smile and cheer up no matter how bad her day was, or if she was stressed. Finally the elevator dinged and the doors opened. She ran the three feet to get inside, and pushed the number four for her floor. The door dinged again on her floor, she got out walked down the seemingly mile long corridor, got to her door, used her key and opened the door.

"Lucy, it's just me!" she called out to her twenty-two year old baby- sitter and neighbor from two doors down.

"Oh, hey Liv! I put Noah down about 9:00. He ate around 7:00, gave him his bath around 7:45, but apparently he wanted to try to wait up for his momma, since I tried laying him down at 8:15, but he just fussed until I got him and brought him out here. Finally at 9:00 he zonked out on the floor." she chuckled.

Olivia smiled thinking about Noah trying to stay up, "You're a life saver Lucy. Thank you. For everything. I love that you're able to work around my crazy work schedule."

"No problem Liv, it's not like I'm having to go to Queens or something after I leave and Noah is such a good baby. Most of the time. Just kidding," she chuckled, "but really, he doesn't fight when you try to feed him, and most of the time he goes to sleep when he's supposed to. I think you should be thank him for being so good! It's nothing for me, just making sure he doesn't get into anything." she smiled brightly.

"That's very true! Just fifteen so long feet." Olivia smirked. "Oh! I'm not sure when it'll be quite yet, but Barba's grandmother died, and he wanted me and Noah to come to the viewing and funeral. I'll be able to tell you more probably tomorrow night, as he is coming in for lunch tomorrow so we can discuss all of his options for when and where and who to call, and everything that is needed to set these things set up. I'll tell you more when I know it, but I obviously won't need you for that night."

"It is! Fifteen feet is so far. And oh no! Pass along my condolences?" Lucy asked.

"Of course I will. Thank you again!" Liv said as she walked Lucy to the door. "If you need anything, you know my number!" she called after opening her door and watched Lucy walk to her own door.

"I do! Thanks and goodnight Olivia! I'll see you in the morning about 7:30?"

"Works for me, and g'night to you too." she smiled as Lucy walked into her own apartment and then closed her own door. After it's shut, she sighs, locks, and sets her small alarm system to on.

"Why all of these Elliot thoughts?" she quietly asked herself knowing nobody could judge her since she is in her own home. She walked into her kitchen, pulled down a wine glass, and poured herself half a glass. After she put the wine back in her fridge, she grabbed her glass and walked to her room, set the glass of wine down, then strolled over to what she had converted to Noah's room so he wouldn't be in the living room like he was after she had first brought him home. After opening the door, she tip toed over to his crib,

"Hey there my sweet boy" she coos quietly so as to not wake him, "Momma loves you oh so much handsome boy." she carefully runs her fingers through the young boys dark hair. She held her breath when he stirred slightly, but let it out when he settled back down just as quickly as he stirred. She bent down and gave him a gentle kiss to his temple and told him she'd see him in the morning. She quietly tip toed back to the door and carefully closed it before making her way back to her own room and the waiting glass of wine. She climbed into her bed, and sat against her headboard, laying her head against it, she took a few deep breaths. She feels as though she's ran a marathon, but knows it's only because of she's been thinking about Elliot again.

She hated that he still had this hold on her, even after nearly four years of not even hearing his voice. His voice in person anyway, she had heard his voice in her head with every decision she's made before and after she became Sergeant, before and after what she went through with William Lewis. When she was with Lewis, he was the only man she could think of that she wanted to save her. Not that she wasn't thankful for the team, and Nick coming her to save her. She was more than thankful, but it didn't feel right that it was Nick escorting her out of that beach house, and not Elliot after Lewis had killed himself. She, for the millionth time that day, shook her head of the thoughts. She finished her wine quickly, looked at her watch, "Damn it. Tomorrow is going to be a long day, I can feel it already." she grabbed the glass, threw her feet off the bed and walked to her kitchen. She put her glass in the dishwasher, and re-checked that her door was locked and her alarm was set, then made her way over to Noah's door, quietly opened the door, and watched his chest rise and fall five times at least, then closed the door, and made her way to her own room.

Fuck it, I'll take my shower in the morning she decided as she changed into her pajamas, it was already midnight, and she knew Noah would wake up at 6:45, which meant she would need to be up by 6:00 if she wanted to be sure she had herself showered and had things laid out -she learned the hard way not to dress for work until after somebody else could look after Noah, otherwise she'd never have enough clothes for work because they would be always dirty- for after Lucy got there. Maybe if she was lucky, since he went to sleep a bit later than he normally did, he would wake up a bit later than he usually would. She could only hope that would be the case. Once again, her mind was trying to figure out whether she wanted to be thinking about her ex-partner. Was it worth it? She'd thought about him more within the few past months than she cared to admit to, so yes. Yes, at the particular moment, it was very much worth it. Good night Elliot Joseph Stabler.. wherever you may be. She thought, and fell asleep faster that she thought she would.

-End Chapter Two-

End A/N: Okay, before anything else, here are everyone's age in this story -except Bernie & Barba's moms age-: you'll notice Elliot's kids are quite a bit younger than they are in the actual show, but this is because I wanted everyone (particularly Olivia) to be younger so they'd be able to potentially have a family of her own -even if it doesn't involve Elliot {keep coming back to see if they do have a family together or not.. muahahaha see what I did there? ;)} without it seeming like Olivia absolutely was destined for a high risk pregnancy because she was so much older than the typical age for a first time mother that got pregnant the old fashioned way (so yes, that's why this story is rated M, and not just T or lower). Okay the ages finally! Olivia- 37; Elliot- 38; Kathy- 37; Rafael- 38; Fin- 41; Nick- 32; Amanda- 30; Carisi- 31; Maureen- 16; Kathleen- 14; Richard & Lizzie- 8; Eli- 4 and Noah- 1. You probably will also notice how Elliot's age doesn't reflect the story that's been told that he got Kathy pregnant when he was 18 hence their marriage and everything else that came after.. I tweaked that story a little bit, and the reasoning will be explained in a later chapter. Got anything else that you want answered? About the story, or anything else about me, just either ask in a review or send me a message. I'll get back to ya as soon as I can! Until next time my friends, keep your heads up and be thankful you're alive! No matter what people tell you, you do matter!