The Washington Behavioral Assistance Clinic

"Thank you so much Paige." A short, round woman thanked Doctor Hayes when she left her office.

"My pleasure Miss. Perry, you did very good today. I'll see you next week. Irma can set up your next appointment."

A low buzz came from her desk intercom. "Paige, I've got a client on line three. Says he'd like to talk to you."

"Thank you, Irma." Must be a referral, that was the case for many of the clinics regular visitors. It was nice to know that people trusted the staff and that they believed in their progress. Paige took the phone to open the line. "Hello this is Doctor Hayes; how can I help you today?" It wasn't surprising that whomever was on the line didn't speak at first, most people have a hard time. One would think that speaking over a phone line would be easier, no one can see your face, no eye contact to show fear. "Hello?" Still no reply could be heard, then suddenly only the sound of the dial tone. Based on experience Paige hung up the phone and waited patiently for it to ring again. "Back are we?" She spoke warmly when the phone rang again after a few moments.

"Sorry."

"Don't worry about it." Making sure to keep a calm tone was imperative. "You've been directed to me specifically for personal conditions. Are you looking to make an appointment?" There were moments in her career where Paige hated to sound so professional, if allowed she would be much more forward with her support but knew that all that would be far too overwhelming. "Are you a referral?"

He spoke anxiously as if he were annoyed. "I'd just like to talk." This wasn't uncommon for clients to feel shaken when they would call the clinic. Who ever he was he sounded pretty shaken. Despite knowing this Hayes remained calm.

"You're more than welcome to come to my office during business hours."

"I-" The ringing of the dial tone once again filled the office. Talking about personal struggles are one of the hardest thing in the world for anyone to talk about. Whether it's with anyone trustworthy or a total stranger the human mind is always at war with its mission to be at peace, but that isn't possible. Humans are meant to struggle and yet are meant to over come much more with the proper help. Paige knew that this man was in deep conflict with little to no way out. The sad but true reality of that was that the struggle would destroy him if he didn't seek out the help to save himself. Paige sat quietly at her desk, listening to the clock above her tick away. A smile grew on her lips when the phone rang again.

Next Day

Lincoln Memorial

"Doctor Hayes?" His voice sounded nervous when he spoke. Paige turned quickly to him, looking up to the figure from where she sat on the steps outside of the monument. Her ruby nail polished hands rested over her blue eyes, shielding them from the bright noon sun. He wore a blue V-neck button up under a deep grey zip up, his jeans were tucked into his heavy boots and a plain baseball cap rested in his head.

"Jim Epting?" The small woman rose from the bench to shake the hand of her new client. "It's wonderful to meet you." She wasn't at all what Bucky had imagined, he had only seen her through a small crack of the bleachers back at the school and before she left. She was taller than he originally assumed and she wasn't even wearing heeled shoes. Instead she wore a long sleeved deep blue, floral printed shirt with tan capris. Her loafers were the same shade as her short hair where a blue headband held back her bangs. Buck sat next to heron the massive steps as she pulled out a pad of paper. "I have to admit I love the location."

"Been here before?" This was undoubtedly a stupid question to ask seeing how she lived here.

"Many times, actually. I often come here to get inspired."

"For what."

She beamed at him then removed her glasses from their case, placing them on her face and clicking open her pen. "I'm here to speak with and guide you threw your ordeals Mr Epting. My personal life can wait." Buck quickly became nervous, not sure of what would happen next. "I'd like to know what brought you to my clinic. So, tell me Jim, how can I help you?" He was afraid to say anything at first, taking his time to think it all over. Paige was taught in her profession to be patient and understanding with her clients, to make them feel comfortable as well as safe.

"It's hard to talk about. Some of it isn't…. not pleasant"

"I'm here to listen and help, not judge." His eyes didn't look to hers when he spoke, only staring at his gloved hands. "You've served?"

"How did you know?"

"Honestly, it was just my best guess. And you don't look like the kind of guy who has an addiction problem." Buck couldn't believe he was laughing, he hadn't done that in such a long time. "Am I way off?" The Doctor grinned, hoping that she hadn't insulted her new client.

"No, you're actually right on. Yeah, I've served."

"Great, off to a good start." She laughed jotting down notes. "I'm warning you right now, no telepathy jokes."

"You don't like them?"

"Let's just say that my sister makes enough bad therapy jokes as it is."

"Point taken." Hayes may have not wanted to share her history with Barnes right away, but in the past six minutes he's already learned that she has a sister and isn't too keen on certain puns targeted towards her profession. Bucky exhaled deeply, staring down at his feet wanting to get the session over with so that his fear shattering nerves would calm. "I….I have trouble remembering things. Sometimes I can't tell the difference between what's real and what use to be." In all her years of therapy Paige had only encountered a few Vets, some of which were easier to help than others.

"How often does this happen?" The pen she held scribbled more notes.

"More often than I'd like."

"How do you feel when this occurs, what do you see?"

"Its not so much seeing as it is remembering. I don't hallucinate, my memory just kicks into high gear. I feel constricted, like I can't breathe. Everything feels like it's moving so much faster than it's supposed to." Paige was all to familiar with that feeling. The crushing feeling of dread that grew in her chest, how small and afraid it would make her feel.

"You feel so strange inside your own body, right?" Bucky knew that he should be giving her more credit, Paige seemed to have a clear understanding of what he was talking about. "How long were you in service?"

"Close to five years. My fath…my grandfather served in back in the forties. His plane was shot out of the sky." That was close, he had to be more carful when putting his story in place. George Barnes had served back in 1914 and had been killed short after 42.

"My grandfather served too. Hunter Conrad the 107th Infantry Regiment." Bucky couldn't believe what she had said. He thought long and hard, trying to remember a Hunter Conrad. That regiment alone was so massive, it was hard to keep track of every soldier. "Why did you go into service?"

"Wanted to make things better than they were." That was the heartfelt truth. Bucky was an openminded soldier and had never been afraid to play his part. "Felt the need to play my part. The rest of the family did, guess this was my way of saying thank you."

"Wish I was that brave." Paige replied, her eyes shifted to the dog tag bracelet around her wrist. "I guess it would be stupid to say that you haven't lost friends?"

The power of hesitation overcame Barnes again. He adjusted his cap as he gazed out at the fine scenery before him. Appreciating every detail of peace and beauty, other things that he had never been allowed to see during his time on ice and under HYDRAS control. "Yeah, too many."

"We don't have to-"

"Thank you." The soldier didn't mean to cut her off but didn't want to hear her finish.

The Doctor already had a method in mind, something new that she wanted to test. "I want you to think about what you had with you during those days. Anything specific that anchored you to that time. Find something to keep with you anchored to this point in time. That way whenever you feel panicked or unsure hold onto the anchor and remember where you are."

"What kind of anchor?"

"Whatever you like, doesn't have to be anything specific, just pocket sized."

"do you think that will help?" Buck sounded hopeful for a moment.

"I dunno, how about you tell me next week?" It was hard to believe that the hour had passed so quickly. Already Bucky was feeling a sense of relief rushed over him, it was like he could breathe normally again. "If you're interested, I hope you'll at least consider."

Barnes slung his backpack over his shoulder again after getting back to his feet. "I'll think about it." All of this seemed to go better than expected, maybe another session wouldn't hurt him. After all the mental abuse it was rewarding to have some positive reinforcement for a change.

"Only one call away." Hayes said, handing her client her business card. "Have a good afternoon Mr. Epting." The feeling Buck had when he first saw Hayes back in the gym had returned. This was a risk and he knew it, he shouldn't be exposing himself like this. He had gotten too comfortable, that should have been a clear sign to pack up and leave. Bucky pushed the thoughts out of his head and made his way straight back to his hiding place, to pick up on his reading and to find his anchor.

(Finally got it rolling, thanks for being patient. Also, if anyone has an idea for a possible anchor for Bucky let me know. Promise to update soon.)